Title: Wings of Crimson
Author: Summer Indian Summer
Date Published: 11.27.2004
Rating: PG-13, for now
Summary: At twenty-five, Grace Polk's soul is darker than it was at fifteen. Her life has spiraled out of control, and she's lost all that's important to her. Her daughter, her boyfriend, her father. She's been looking for comfort in the arms of the wrong man, but what happens when the man she can't forget comes back?
Legal Stuff: Um, I'm not a lawyer, so I can't be 100 percentsure about the grounds surrounding divorce/custody and TROs. But if anyone could tell me if they'd be following Maryland or California statutes, I'd love you forever.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from "Joan of Arcadia." The title's from Pete Yorn's "Strange Condition." I do not make a profit off of this in any way (whether it be monetary or emotionally, in reviews or whatever) so please don't sue.
Dedication: Thanks to Sarah for putting up with my confusing questions.
Distribution: Just here and harmonic-resonance (dot) net. Anywhere else, please ask first.
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No one had spoken in over ten minutes. Grace fiddled with the hem of her shirt nervously, her eyes darting to the door at every noise. "That wasn't a good idea," she said finally, her tone oddly resigned.
Joan opened her eyes to gaze at Grace from her resting place against the wall. "Someone needed to do something."
Grace shook her head. "It shouldn't have been... public. Not like that."
"Luke needs to wake up." Joan sighed, pulling her legs closer to her body until she was cross-legged. "Look, Grace. You may have done some... you made some mistakes in your past, right? But everyone does. And that doesn't mean you aren't Zara's mother."
"Maybe biologically, but maybe Luke's right. I don't deserve-"
"You don't," Joan shook her head. "But Zara deserves to know her mom. And Luke... he's just angry. He thinks he's doing what's best for her, but he can't see past his hatred for you."
Grace couldn't prevent her wince. "This isn't a good idea."
"My ideas are always good," Joan responded quickly, turning her head to glance at her alarm clock. "Look. I told Luke to come to my room at five if he wants to talk to you. It's ten minutes of now."
Grace followed Joan's gaze to the clock. "I don't know. Maybe I should just leave. It's not fair to-"
Grace trailed off and Joan reached over to touch her shoulder. "Grace, you aren't a teenager anymore. Neither is Luke. I don't care how screwed up your relationship with him is; you have a daughter to worry about."
Grace opened her mouth to protest but stopped as she realized Joan was right. "Then at least let me handle this."
"I am."
"Alone."
Joan paused as she studied Grace, but after a moment nodded slowly. "Fine. I'll go hang out in the bar. I'll come back in about an hour, to make sure you're both still alive."
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Colin drummed his fingers anxiously against the car door as they pulled to a stop in front of the hotel. "So are you going to tell me what happened out there?" he asked testily, looking over at Luke.
Luke shrugged. "There's nothing to say, Colin."
"Nothing to say, my arse. You may have held yourself together through the ceremony, Luke, but the way you acted afterward! You're asking for rumors!"
Luke sighed. "What was I supposed to do? Pretend I didn't see her?"
"That would've been a start."
"Colin," Luke groaned, "You aren't mad, are you?"
"As a cut snake!" Colin broke off as the driver came around to open their door. Once both men had stepped out of the car, he muttered, "You shouldn't have let her get to you."
"That's easy for you to say," Luke said as he pushed his way past the crowd of media that had begun to gather at the hotel entrance.
A bellboy opened the doors and Colin half-pushed Luke through before continuing. "Okay, then tell me this. How's Queen Bee going to react?"
"She'll be fine. Aurora's secure in our relationship. And will you stop calling her that?"
"She's secure in your relationship? Than why'd she chuck a tanty when your sister mentioned Grace?"
"That has more to do with the fact that it was Joan who said it and not the topic, and you know that. Aurora and Joan don't get along."
"If you believe that..."
Luke chose to ignore that, instead focusing on a more pressing issue. "Joan told me that she was bringing Grace back to the hotel."
Colin raised an eyebrow. "I'm manager of PR, not your love doctor."
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Being in a room alone with Grace Polk had always unnerved Luke, even when they were together. She was so intense about everything that Luke was never sure how to act.
He was the first to speak, though, and it didn't really surprise him. "I thought I told you not to come near me."
Grace frowned. "Technically, you said you didn't want me near her."
Unfazed, Luke responded, "I told you not to come to any of my events."
"I don't answer to you. I never have."
"Believe me, I'm aware," Luke retorted, his voice a little sharper than he'd meant for it to be.
Grace blinked, her only response to the comment. "I never meant for any of this to happen."
"What did you expect?" Luke asked, his gaze burning into her. "Did you think you could just walk back into her life after you left, pick up where you left off?"
Grace averted her eyes. "No."
"Well, at least something's changed. But you'll never change enough, Grace. Not to deserve her."
"I was young. I needed a vacation. I never meant for it to be permanent," she sighed.
"God dammit, Grace! When are you going to learn? The world doesn't give breaks! I would've loved a break, but I had a daughter to raise."
Grace flinched. "I know that. Now."
"You're five and a half years too late."
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Colin knocked back the last of his third kamikaze and glanced down the bar at Joan.
What do you 'spose they're doing now?" he asked, his words blending together slightly.
Joan raised an eyebrow. "I can't tell if that's the accent or the drinking." She frowned. "And how are you drinking that stuff? It burns."
"I'm an Aussie."
"I've tried Foster's. It's not that strong."
"Foster's?" Colin looked at her blankly.
"You know," Joan shrugged. "Australian for beer?"
Colin stared at her.
"What?" Joan asked defensively as he started chuckling.
Colin shook his head. "Most Aussies don't really drink Fosters." His gaze flickered to his watch and he sobered immediately. "What do you think Luke and Grace are up to now? If my client ends up dead..."
Joan sighed, her cheeks tinted red with embarrassment. "Probably still yelling. That or having sex."
"You think?" Colin frowned. "He seemed pretty mad..."
"It's Luke. He's always been a pushover, at least when it comes to Grace."
Colin nodded. "Things change."
Joan rolled her eyes. "You sound like my boyfriend."
Colin cocked his head at her. "And how is Mr. Bennett doing?"
"He's... okay. I guess. I haven't talked to him since we landed."
"Up shit creek?"
Joan raised an eyebrow. "Do you even speak English?"
Colin mirrored her expression. "Something wrong?"
"Everything's just dandy," Joan spat out, rolling her eyes. "Why are you talking to me?"
"It's that or go face them," Colin murmured, gesturing above them.
Joan blinked. "Do you mean God?"
"No." Colin scrunched up his nose. "Although that would probably be better than facing your brother right now."
"Oh," Joan blushed.
"So you're religious. That why you're not drinking?"
"I'm not relig-" Joan broke off, shaking her head. "At least not in that sense. And I'm not drinking because I don't trust you."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Colin laughed.
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Grace had stopped pretending to be strong years ago. It wasn't worth the effort it took. Fighting with Luke had always been one of the most draining things she'd experienced, both physically and emotionally. She glanced over at him and sighed, collapsing onto Joan's bed.
"I can't believe Joan thought this would be a good idea," Luke muttered, his eyes following Grace. "Usually she's not even that stupid."
"Thinking things out has never been one of her strengths," Grace pointed out, shifting uncomfortably under his scrutiny. "Will you quit looking at me like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like I murdered your first-" Grace froze and glanced away. "Just quit it."
Luke sighed, cautiously approaching the bed. He sat down slowly on the corner, careful not to touch Grace. "What do you want?" he asked, sounding defeated.
Grace frowned. "What do you mean?"
"God, Grace. What will it take? Zara started asking about you, and if I have any chance of raising her here without your interference-"
"What?"
"-you can't stay here. I don't want you hurting her again. So whatever it is, just ask. Do you want money?"
"Stop." Grace shook her head forcefully, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't want money. I want to be part of my daughter's life."
"That's not an option. I can give you-"
"And what the hell is this about raising her here? I thought you were here for a visit, not to stay. That's what the news was saying..."
Luke shrugged. "Nothing's definite, yet, but California... I can't raise her there. It's not fair to her, the way I'm constantly commuting between Stanford and Los Angeles."
"So you're going to move back here?" Grace asked, hugging her knees to her chest, suddenly vulnerable.
Luke nodded. "Maybe."
"Huh. And what's Aurora think of that?"
"I haven't told her yet." Luke frowned, made irrationally angry by her laidback response. "That's all you have to say?"
"What do you want me to say? I'm not leaving. I don't want your money."
"I can have a TRO placed against you or something. I could have my lawyers draw it up in a minute."
"I'd like to see you try," Grace challenged, raising her eyebrows, "According to the law, we still have shared custody of her. You never filed."
Luke swore under his breath. He'd never thought that would be an issue. "Then I'll do that first. Shouldn't be too hard. You've been gone for the past five years."
"Not by choice."
"You made that choice the second you walked out the door," Luke retorted, his voice filled with frustration.
Grace recoiled at the comment and shook her head. "I never chose to walk out on you. I always meant to come back after a few days. I just- I needed a break."
Luke's jaw tensed as he looked at her. He was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke, his words surprised both of them.
"Why'd you do it, Grace? We got married, and you acted like everything was fine. Then I come home one day and you're just gone. You didn't even leave a note. Why'd you walk out on us?"
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