Title: Wings of Crimson
Author: Summer Indian Summer
Date Published: 12.05.2004
Rating: PG-13, for now
Summary: At twenty-five, Grace Polk's soul is darker than it was at fifteen. Her life has spiraled out of control, and she's lost all that's important to her. Her daughter, her boyfriend, her father. She's been looking for comfort in the arms of the wrong man, but what happens when the man she can't forget comes back?
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from "Joan of Arcadia." I do not make a profit off of this in any way (whether it be monetary or emotionally, in reviews or whatever) so please don't sue.
Distribution: Just here and harmonic-resonance (dot) net. Which, by the way, gets a 10-24 hour update previous to this site, so it's worth checking out. Anywhere else, please ask first.
Author's Notes: The whole chapter's a flashback. Timeline has been slightly changed..
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March 24, 2008
"And he ripped a page out of his notebook! It probably set us back about six months, which Coolidge is going to love. The project's already over its maximum estimate, and I'm worried that Coolidge is going to have it discontinued..."
Grace listened idly as Ronnie Whitmore ranted to her about the lab's latest setback, trying not to roll her eyes. Ronnie was always overdramatic. Her gaze wandered to her watch as he continued, silently counting the moments until Luke was supposed to return home.
"Grace?"
Grace snapped her head up at Ronnie's questioning tone and offered him a tight smile. "Huh?"
Ronnie raised an eyebrow. "You weren't even listening to me. What's going on?"
Grace shrugged. "Nothing. I'm just tired."
Ronnie nodded. "How's the baby been?"
"A nightmare," Grace sighed, her gaze falling to her watch again. "She's sleeping now, but earlier she wouldn't go down. I'd put her to bed and she'd take off her clothes and start screaming. Then I'd pick her up and she'd want food. When I gave her food, she pushed it onto the floor."
Ronnie's laugh died quickly as he noticed Grace's glare. "So, she's, uh, how old? Isn't she supposed to act like that?"
"Twenty-two months. And no. No kid's supposed to act like a terrorist."
"A terrorist?" Ronnie snorted. "You're intense."
"Yeah, well-" Grace paused as the phone rang, groaning. "No..."
She jumped up, but it was too late. Zara had already begun to scream. Ronnie frowned. "I'll get her if you wanna..." he trailed off, gesturing to the phone.
Grace nodded. "Yeah," she said, already grabbing the phone. "Hello?"
"Hey Grace. It's me."
Luke. His tone sounded...
Grace's stomach dropped. "Hey. What time will you be home?" she asked casually as she considered all the ways she could kill him later.
"Uh... that's what I was calling about. Me and Mac just had a breakthrough, so... I don't know. I just wanted to tell you I'm not gonna be home for dinner... I'll call you later."
The crying from the next room subsided and Grace sighed. "Fine. Tell Mac I said hi."
"Okay... how's Zara feeling?"
Grace rolled her eyes. "She has a little cold, Luke. She's fine."
There was an uncomfortable silence before Luke spoke again. "I love you. Bye Grace."
"I love you, too. Bye.".
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"You guys are like, so old-married-couple-ish," Mackenzie 'Mac'
Coolidge said, swinging her legs back and forth over the side of a
table.
"We are married," Luke responded, shaking his head at his lab partner. "You shouldn't be sitting up there."
"I swear you act like you're forty."
"Well, it makes up for you. You act like you're fourteen," Luke muttered, picking up a test tube marked 'Gl-2.'
Mac sighed, jumping down to the floor. "Well, at least I act closer to my age. You're what? Eighteen?"
"Nineteen."
"Huh." Mac glanced at the test tube.
"What's that supposed to mean? You're only two years older than me."
Mac raised an eyebrow. "Nepotism, Luke. My father's the department head. I'm normal. You're a freak of nature."
"Gee, thanks."
Mac took the test tube from him. "Have you tried the sodium iodide test?"
"Yeah, nothing. None of the tests have given me much to work with."
"Do you think...?" Mackenzie trailed off,
"The early experiments with zinc acetate had interesting results. And then when you dropped that juniper stuff-"
Mac winced. "Sorry about that."
"No," Luke shook his head. "Don't be. When you dropped it, it killed a lot of the bacteria culture."
"...So what are you thinking?"
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"Grace, I don't get why you're still complaining. She's an angel," Luke whined later that night as he ate.
Grace shook her head. "You're not here all day. She's like a toy to you, Luke. Not a daughter. You play with her, not raise her."
Luke set down his fork. "She's not a toy to me, Grace. You know that. She's my daughter."
"You're never home," Grace accused.
"I know." Luke frowned. "I want to be home more, Grace. It's just things at the lab right now- I can't not be there. I feel like we're on the edge of something, Grace."
Grace took a sip of her coffee and sighed. "You said that last month."
"And last month we discovered Galvinose. We're making huge strides, Grace- huge."
"Look, I'm not trying to be a drama queen, and I'm not some needy housewife," Grace sighed. "You missed Zara's first sentence and she walked up the library stairs the other day by herself."
Luke's eyes grew sad. "I know. I wanted to be there, Grace. But I just can't get away from the lab right now-"
"Then how the hell does Ronnie find the time? Or Mike or Ryan? You and Mac are always there."
"Dr. Coolidge expects more from us, and if I'm not... I'm just trying to make sure we're secure."
Grace sighed. "I know. I just... I'm just tense lately, I guess."
Luke smiled, scooting his chair closer to her. "Just give me a couple more months, Grace. I promise that we'll make it. By Zara's birthday, everything will be normal again."
Grace studied him for a moment before giving him a small smile, her first genuine one in days. "By Zara's birthday?"
"Yeah," Luke murmured, and placed a kiss on Grace's temple. "I'll go check on her. Take a nice bath, relax."
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Grace woke up the next morning to Zara crying and the telephone
ringing. Grace rolled over and reached out, trying to grab the phone on
her nightstand.
She couldn't reach.
With a groan, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and snatched up the phone. "What?" she accosted, voice still groggy with sleep.
"I didn't mean to wake you... it's eleven. Are you okay?" Luke's concerned voice responded.
Grace sighed. "Uh, I'm okay. Just a little nauseous."
"I could come home in a little bit, if you need me. If you want to-"
Grace shook her head even though he couldn't see her. "No, I'll be fine. I'm just overtired."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah... look, Zara's crying. I have to go get her. I'll talk to you later."
"Okay... Oh, wait! I called to tell you that we just... Grace, everything's paying off, I think. I think I can carry out on that promise before Zara's birthday."
"What..." Grace trailed off as Zara's crying turned to screaming. "Can you tell me later? I've really got to go get her."
"Yeah, sure. Love you."
"Mmmhmm. Love you, too." Grace set the phone back in its cradle and darted into Zara's room.
Zara was standing in her crib, chubby hands reaching up toward Grace. She fell silent as Grace walked into the room, watching her mother with playful eyes. "I eat?" she babbled as Grace picked her up, "I eat, Mommy?"
Grace sighed, looking down at her daughter. "Yeah. Mommy has to eat, too."
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"Hey, guys, I'm taking off for the day. Got me a big lunch
date," Ronnie told Luke and Mac, shrugging off his lab coat. "Have you
met Lindsay Hayden?"
Luke nodded. "Have fun."
"Oh, believe me, I will." Ronnie smirked, opening the door. "'Bye, guys. Don't screw anything up."
After the door had slammed shut Mac arched an eyebrow. "So what do you think all this means?"
"Ronnie's date? Well, I guess we can be sure he's not into Mike anymore."
Mac rolled her eyes. "About the culture."
"Huh. I'm not really sure. It depends on what your dad says about furthering funding. What do you think he'll do?"
Mac bit her bottom lip. "Your guess is as good as mine. I've only known him since I came to Stanford, remember?"
"Ech... If he approves it, if we're right about this..."
Mac's grin spread across her face as she studied Luke. "We'll be filthy rich?"
"Well yeah," Luke nodded. "Actually, I was thinking more of the advances and improvements this would mean for the medical world."
"Do you really think it could work? That Galvinose could be the substance needed to cure the common cold?"
"It's a definite possibility."
Mac scribbled something in her lab notebook before looking back up at him. "You can leave, if you want. I know you're dying to tell Grace."
Luke sighed. "Yeah, but that can wait. We should go celebrate. I'll splurge. I'll even give you a ride home after."
"Luke Girardi? Celebrating? Splurging? What's this world coming to?" Mac snickered, taking off her lab coat anyway.
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"Let me just run in and tell Grace," Luke said as he pulled to a stop in front of his house.
Mac grinned. "Yeah, go ahead. How do you think she'll take it?" she asked as she popped a French fry into her mouth.
Luke shrugged, suddenly losing a little of his enthusiasm. "I don't know. She's been kind of tense lately."
Laughing, Mac responded, "She's raising a two year old. What do you expect?"
"Nah, something's different," Luke said, shaking his head. "She's moodier. Exhausted. Not Grace-like."
"Huh."
Luke frowned. "What's that for?"
Mac blinked, the embodiment of innocence. "What are you talking about?"
"The 'huh.' That was a loaded 'huh.'"
"I didn't mean anything by it, I swear... Didn't you say Grace overslept this morning?"
"Yeah, she told me she wasn't feeling well."
"Huh."
Luke groaned, throwing his head back against his seat in frustration. "''Huh' what?"
Mac pursed her lips, thinking for a minute. "Luke... aren't you supposed to be a genius or something? Because according to my father, that's why Stanford was so gung-ho on recruiting you. They don't house any other student-employee."
"I... What does that even mean?"
"Grace. Moodiness. Always tired. Sick... Pregnant?"
Luke's eyes widened, but he shook his head quickly. "No. She would've told me."
"When?"
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Mac's words had disturbed him, but he refused to let it get to
him. Grace would've told him, and anyway, they'd been careful. Luke
swiped his ID through the door's card reader and opened the door.
"Grace?" he called, stepping into their apartment.
There wasn't a response. Luke frowned, glancing around the apartment. He noticed a light on in Zara's room and started heading in that direction, leaving the door slightly open.
He hadn't made it to the door when Ronnie appeared in its frame, rocking a sleeping Zara in his arms. "Shh. I just got her to sleep. She wouldn't stop crying."
Luke frowned. "What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to have a date with Lindsay Hayden."
"I did," Ronnie shrugged. "Grace called me and told me she couldn't get in touch with you, and needed someone to watch Zara so she could run out and get some cough medicine for her. I didn't need to pick Lindsay up 'til 2:30, so I came by."
Luke frowned, his stomach dropping. "It's past 2:30 now."
"Yeah, I know. I called Lindsay to tell her I'd be late. She was kinda pissed, so I should probably..." Ronnie trailed off, holding Zara out to Luke.
Luke intercepted Zara, his eyes still on Ronnie. "Did you try calling Grace?"
"Yeah. Her phone's off."
Luke had had nightmares about this moment. Real, genuine nightmares. "God, Ronnie. And you didn't call me? She could be laying in a ditch somewhere!"
Ronnie bit his lip. "I wasn't thinking she-" Ronnie was interrupted when as the door opened and Mac entered the apartment.
"What's going on? I thought you were just telling Grace..." Mac came to a halt, glancing from Luke to Ronnie and back again. "What's going on?"
Ronnie sighed, his gaze still on Luke. "Look, I'm not sure she got in an accident or something. After 2:00, I started to get worried and I was looking around. The suitcase you guys have had by the living room door for like, the last three months?"
Luke's eyes flew to the door in question.
"It's gone."
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