Warnings: Yaoi
Pairings: Squall/Zell
Discl.: Final Fantasy VIII belongs to Square
A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews!
Chapter 4
A fiftheen year old Squall watched his classmate in silence, the bouncy blonde who was now talking to one of his best friends while Squall stayed away, hidden in the back like he had always been. For a second it seemed like Zell had noticed the brunette, looking over to him and grinning a little. But once Selphie placed her hand on the blonde's shoulder his attention was once again on her.
They left together and Squall was once again alone. He got up and left, ignoring Quistis who was looking at him. Outside he bumped into Zell. Squall looked at him with shock, wondering why the blonde was still around and Selphie was nowhere in sight.
"Hey Squall." Zell grinned.
"Um, hi." Squall replied, his voice soft.
Zell beamed brightly. "How are you doing?"
"Fine." Squall anwsered and started walking. Followed by the excited blonde.
"I saw you watching me."
Squall stopped walking and turned to look at Zell, his eyes wide, for once his cool exterior breaking apart like a shattered mirror. "You did?"
Zell nodded in response. "Why did you watch me, do you think I'm cute or something?" Zell laughed a little.
Squall blushed and looked away, receiving a strange look from Zell.
"Well I think you are cute." Zell decided then and gave the brunette a quick peck on the cheek. "Wanne hang out?" He asked.
"Sure." Squall decided.
Quinn looked at Zell, silent while he listened to the blonde. He had never seen Zell like this, it made him sad. He hadn't known Zell had been a soldier, a SeeD. Zell had never told anything about his past, he didn't understand why Zell wanted to tell it him now, but of course he would listen.
"That's when it started." Zell started softly. "The two years of hiding our relationship because Squall was scared what others would think of it." The blonde let out a soft sigh. "I felt so proud that someone like Squall could love me, and it was killing me inside that no one was suppose to know..."
He looked up at Quinn. "And then we went on a mission, the mission changed everything, Rinoa changed everything."
Zell looked at his lover, biting his lip a little. "So, what do you think of Rinoa?" He asked softly. "Everyone seems to think you love her..."
Squall just shrugged, lying on his bed.
"What, you really like her?" Zell asked, laughing. "Maybe you should tell them."
Squall sat up, followed by Zell. "We can't."
"Why not?" Zell asked. "We have been together for two years..."
Squall got of the bed and shook his head. He started to pace around the room. "No, we can't, this must be kept a secret." He started. "What we have isn't normal, no one should know."
Zell frowned. "It is normal." He whispered.
A knock on the door startled them both. Squall walked over to the door and opened it, revealing a petite raven haired girl on the other side.
Rinoa pouted when she saw Zell. "Oh sorry, didn't know you had company."
Squall gave Zell a quick sideways glance. "It's fine, Zell was just leaving."
Rinoa smiled and stepped inside. "Perfect."
Zell frowned but got up, he walked over to Squall not sure if the brunette had meant it. "Squall?" He asked softly.
Squall didn't look at him.
Rinoa played with a strand of her hair. "Zell, please leave, I was going to ask Squall out on a date." She pouted.
Zell frowned, still looking at Squall. "Are you going to Squall?"
Squall looked at the blonde, his expression unreadable. "I think I am."
"What about...us?" He whispered the last part out of habit that no one was allowed to hear.
Squall held the door open for him. "I have no idea what you are talking about Zell."
Tears burned in the blonde's eyes when he left, the door of Squall's dormroom closing behind him.
"They started dating," Zell whispered. "Squall completly ignored me..."
"Squall..." Zell tried. "Squall I lov-""Shut up Zell." Squall muttered. "I am with Rinoa, like it should be..." The brunette decided. "A girlfriend, not a boyfriend."
Zell's lower lip trembled slightly. "But what about those two years..."
Squall sighed, looking at Zell with cold eyes. "Even if it meant something, it wasn't normal...I see that now." Squall told him.
"Why do you care so much about others!" Zell yelled at him, tears in his eyes. "Why can't you just feel for yourself for once, do something that you want, not others!"
Squall looked away. "I'm sorry Zell...I can't do that."
Zell grabbed his head, holding it between his hands so Squall couldn't look away. "I love you Squall, please tell me you love me too." He whispered and kissed Squall softly.
Squall was silent for a while. "I...I loved you..."
"He loved me..." Zell whispered. "I went on a mission the day after our little fight...I didn't know I was never able to go back."
Quinn hugged him, not sure what to say.
"And now he's here, and I think I still love him..."
