Warnings: Yaoi
Pairings: Squall/Zell
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII belongs to Square, not me
Reviews: Thanks for the reviews! And the cookie
A/N:
Sorry that the update took so long, hope you forgive me!


Chapter 5

Squall watched the blone across from him, smiling a little. Zell had asked him to come to dinner, leaving both Carme and Aleixo with Quinn.

"Why are you looking at me like that..." Zell asked, looking at his plate. He was feeling somewhat uncomfortable underneath Squall's gaze.

Squall looked away. "Sorry..." He whispered, taking a bite of his food. Soon he found himself staring at Zell again. A smile found a way to his lips when he thought of the hyper blonde he had once known, before everything started.

Zell bit his lip, playing with his food. "Stop that..." He whispered softly, remembering the first time Squall had watched him, remembering the first day of their friendship and more.

"I'm sorry, I can't help myself." Squall decided.

Zell sighed and stared eating again. He could feel Squall's eyes upon him every now and then and it made him nervous. He didn't understand why Squall was looking at him like that. It was almost as if Squall loved him...but that would never happen again.

"Zell..."

The blonde looked up, watching Squall. "Yes?" He asked.

"What happened on that mission..." Squall asked, whispering softly. He had wanted to ask that question for so long, and now that he finally asked it he didn't know if he really wanted to know.

Zell looked down at his plate, frowning. He hadn't expected that question and he wasn't sure if he was ready to anwser it. He closed his eyes, the images of his last mission filling his head. "It was suppose to be a simple mission...they needed me to find someone..."

Squall watched Zell's fist tighten around his fork, almost turning white. He looked up at Zell's face, turned downwards.

"It went all wrong..." Zell whispered, looking up at Squall. "He was suppose to be alone. They tortured me, they killed me..." The blonde continued. "When I woke up from my coma I couldn't move, my body was broken, but of course I healed...I healed for you." Zell pushed himself up and left the room quickly, tears burning behind his eyes.

Squall watched him leave, frowning. I healed for you...

When Zell returned he was smiling. The sadness and pain from just minutes ago all ready faded.

"Zell, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." Squall whispered, getting up and walking over to Zell. He pushed his arms around Zell's waist, holding the smaller man close to him. "I'm sorry I turned away from you."

Zell shook his head, looking at the lion pendant around Squall's neck. "You don't need to be sorry, it's not like you loved me..."

Squall felt Zell pull away from him, the words resounding in his head. And all though they were true they made his insides clench and his stomach turn. "Zell..."

Zell sat back down. "And I'm fine now too, aren't I?" It had sounded like a question. And Zell didn't know the anwser himself, or maybe he did. He wasn't happy, not now he had found Squall again.

"I did love you..." Squall whispered, still standing. "And everytime I thought of you instead of her I hated myself, I made a mistake then, a mistake that gave me two wonderfull children, but I didn't have you..."

Zell could hear Squall walk away and leave, leaving him alone. He burried his head in his hands, tears burning in his eyes. He had never thought Squall had still loved him, never even dared to hope that Squall still loved him. But he did.

I I I

Squall cursed himself under his breath. He pushed his hands in his pockets, shielding himself from the cold. He stopped walking, turning and looking up at the appartment which belonged to Zell. He stood there for a while.

I I I

Zell frowned when he heard a knock on his door. He walked over to it and opened it. He was confused when he saw a brunette standing on the other side of the door, looking down at him. "Squall?"

Squall placed his hands on each side of Zell's head and pulled him close, bringing their lips together. It was a simple kiss which lasted not longer then a second.

"Squall?" Zell asked again, this time softer. He placed his hands over Squall's, wondering what the brunette was doing and thinking.

Squall smiled and kissed the blonde in front of him again, smiling in their kiss. Once again it was just a simple kiss. "I'm not going to make the same mistake again Zell, I won't let you leave again."

Zell smiled, his grip around Squall's pale hands tightening. He closed his eyes for a second, enjoying the moment. "I've been so alone without you..." He whispered softly, stepping closer to Squall. He felt Squall's arms wrap around his waist as he placed his own arms around the brunette's neck.

"Zell," Squall started softly, brushing his lips over Zells ear. "I love you."

Zell felt a tear fall down his cheek when he heard those words. He didn't know what to say, or to think. It all seemed unreal to him. Within Squall's arms. "I've waited so long for those words." Zell whispered, leaning his head on Squall's shoulder. "Please say them again."

"I love you." Squall said again, pulling Zell closer. "I love you Zell." He said again, smiling when he felt the blonde shiver in his arms. "I love you."

They were interupted by a timd knock on the door. Zell smiled and let go of Squall. He walked to the door and opened it slowly. Both Aleixo and Carme quickly darted inside, in search of their father.

"Daddy look!" Carme cheered, holding up the small pink stuffed chocobo that Quinn had bought for her. Aleixo had a white one.

Squall leaned down and took the chocobo from her. He smiled, looking at her. "That's really nice, did you thank Quinn?"

Carme nodded and took it back. "And we ate fries, it was really fun, can we go again sometime?" She asked, taking a deep breath afterwards. Her hopefull eyes were fixed on Squall, a silent plead in the dark orbs.

"You should ask Quinn." Squall decided, getting up again. He saw Zell and Quinn talking to each other, Quinn glancing at him every once in a while. He sat down on the couch, Aleixo quickly sitting down in his lap, resting his small head against Squall's chest.

"Did you have fun daddy?" Aleixo asked softly, looking up at his father.

Squall nodded, holding Aleixo close to him. "I had a lot of fun Aleixo." He decided, smiling at the little child in his arms.

"Did Zell have fun?" Aleixo asked then, looking at the blonde who was still talking with Quinn.

Squall nodded and smiled brightly. "I think he did." He told his son, kissing the top of the brunette head. He received a giggle from the young child who quickly brushed his hand through his hair.

"Daddy, do you like Zell again?"

Squall nodded, resting his chin on the top of Aleixo's head. "Yeah Aleixo, I do."

Aleixo looked up, pushing his dad away. They looked in each other's eyes and Aleixo frowned slightly, wondering. "Will he be my new mommy then?"

Squall shook his head. "But maybe he will be your second daddy some day." The brunette smiled at the thought, closing his eyes for just a second. He liked the idea, having Zell with him forever. But he wondered if Zell would still think the same after this evening, he remembered the words Zell had said to him before. What has been between us is not forgotten and it hasn't been forgiven...