A/N: hello all! i just had to put this thing on, fast, before it slipped away... more will come though, so stay tuned!
AABuddy come now, of course they'll end up together!tsk-tsk... i will go bring them together, and you know what, i was gonna do "something" about Ronan, but i got it figured out already before i started this fic, so if you just keep on being a good reviewer, than i'll be happy!
The Widow Dracula you are SO right!
Chapter IIX
Of course I knew that he wouldn't stay any longer, despite our engagement. He had to leave. We stood at the port and we said our goodbyes, Amadae and Valerious looked sadly at me, showing their concerns, and in the same expression showed that they cared, and wanted to help. My reply was a sad smile. They quickly said goodbye, to leave he and I alone.
"Until we meet again, Ronan," Amadae said, letting Ronan take her hand and kiss it.
"Fare well, soldier," came a stiffer 'Goodbye' from the Elder.
"Thank you both, for helping me from the storm, and... this little Lady here," he said, looking playfully at me. Valerious was about to say something, but clearly Amadae had anticipated something and said another quick 'goodbye', and dragged Valerious with her inside, mumbling to him to keep his quiet, and get inside; I smiled, and turned to Ronan.
He walked up to me, took my face in his hands and kissed me, deeply. I raised my hands and clasped mine around his fingers, and kept them on my cheeks, not wanting him to let go. I could feel aggravated tears pressing against my eyelids, as my eyes were shut. I felt annoyed about him having to go back to that stupid Order, and tell them that he was leaving. At that, supposed to be, blissful moment, I couldn't enjoy the love he tried so hard to show to me through this kiss; I was too angry with the Order, almost wishing it wasn't existent.
I noticed he tried to pull his lips and fingers away, as I realised I was squeezing his fingers free of blood, and I wasn't kissing him back, which left him with a peculiar face expression.
"Is there something wrong," he asked looking down at his hands rubbed the blood back into his fingers.
He then looked up and I felt his eyes pierce me, maybe looking a little shook, as I had tears rolling in a still stream down my cheeks, which was hardly noticeable.
"Cassandra...?" he looked at me with concern on my face.
At first, I was thinking 'Why am I crying, WHY?', then I found out that I was scared that he might not be allowed to leave, and sent out on a new mission, to get killed and... on top of all my anger and fear, I felt stupid now. He was not going to be killed; they were going to allow him to marry me, surely? I wiped away my tears and hugged him.
"Nothing. It's nothing... I just," I said croakily into his ear, but he stopped me.
"Cassandra, don't worry. I will be back, and we will be married. And we are going to be happy, have lots of children. Wait for me here, I won't abandon you. I will come back for you, share my love, and life with you. You know why, do you? Because I love you, Cassandra. I hope you know how hard that is for me to say, but at least meant it. At least that is something of mine you will always get from me. I will come back as soon as possible, and if you are too burdened with setting it up, then wait till I come back. I have to go, now. I love you," he added as he swung up on his horse.
I just looked after him as he galloped out of the castle-gate, and a gnawing feeling in the back of my head saying '- and your life,'.
"I love you, too," I mimed, a very chilly breeze brushing over me, making my hair wave in the wind.
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I went upstairs, a kind of panic unleashing itself inside of me. I hadn't quite thought about all of these things that had to be set up, for a wedding to proceed. I went to Amadae for help, and I felt kind of wrong about never having been present at a wedding, before. I was about to knock on the door to her room, as I felt a surge of guilt in my stomach; Vladislaus. I had to write a letter for him, now. I turned around and walked as fast as I could up stairs to my room, and sat down at my table, and began writing.
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Vladislaus Dragulia's room in the Vatican 1443:
Dear Vladislaus,
I have come home, safe enough, so you do not have to worry. My trip home was nice, and I am happy to be back. And I miss you, you should know. I hope that you accept my choice of going into engagement with Ronan Kaylan. I have thought about it, and it is so hard to tell you this but, my love for you is no more than friendly anymore. Don't blame anything thing on yourself, and please don't have hard feelings towards Ronan, when I could have said 'no,', and I didn't. I just want to invite you to our wedding once it stands, and that I can no longer 'hold' your ring for you. Excuse me, Vladislaus, I am sorry.
Love Cassandra.
He read inside his head, twice, thrice, not able to believe what stood as black against white, in Cassandra'a own handwriting, telling, explaining, that 2 weeks after she had confirmed her love for him, she was getting married. And not just any guy. Oh no, faith could surely not be so kind to him, it had to be Ronan. He poured the ring onto the table, and stared at it a few moments.
At that moment, Gabriel entered through the door. He stopped dead as he saw Vladislaus was breathing heavily, as he leant over the desk, a piece of paper on the surface. He crumbled together, and stretched out, rapidly, shrieking. He picked up the desk chair and threw it in Gabriel' direction, and he ducked and rolled over, so as to avoid the impact.
"Calm down, Vladislaus! What ails you?" he asked, getting up.
"I... she..." he stopped a second before he dumped down on the bed. "She's getting married," he said, simply.
"Who is getting married...?" Gabriel asked, picking up the, now rickety, chair, and sat down on it.
"Cassandra is!" he spat, sitting up, pointing frantically at the letter on the table.
Gabriel gestured to take it, and Vladislaus nodded. He read it; Vladislaus could see his eyes zooming back and forth a few times.
"So... what is the problem, Vlad?" Gabriel asked, getting an angry incredulous look from Vladislaus. He slowly took a deep breath, and in Gabriel' eyes, it looked as though he was swelling up.
"I wanted to be... I wanted to... I... oh, Gabriel, you've seen it yourself? I wanted her, she was supposed to become mine! She was supposed to love me, want me! Crave for me, as I craved for her, I still do!" he said passionately.
Gabriel was speechless. He was unsure whether or nor to tell his 'part' in this now, or if he was going to be quiet, the whole way through. He decided that the latter would be the best; it would save him a lot of trouble. When he had read it, he had felt happiness on the behalf of Cassandra, for some reason, but he had got and inkling on that maybe he had made her want to get out of this, this thing between Vladislaus, Cassandra, and himself. Maybe she had agreed to get married with Ronan, not because she loved him, for real, but because she maybe couldn't keep it inside her head to sort things out between herself and Vlad. He felt bad for him. He had followed them to the bar, seen them dance; seen them kiss... seen her storm away from him. The kiss they had shared, it had meant something to Gabriel before he kissed her, but when she left him the streets, a threat on his neck, the deep, warm feeling he had had for her; it had gone away, simply. But he wanted to tell her how good friends they could be... maybe he should...?
"Gabriel?" Vladislaus said, concerned.
And he looked it too. Gabriel looked into the mirror on the wall, catching his expression: very peculiar, and disturbing. He snapped out of it.
"I... Vladislaus, I don't know what to... to say. I think I'll go to the library, if you... if you need me," he said, sinking.
Gabriel walked out, not even taking note of Vladislaus' reply once it came. He walked down the corridors, stopping at the library. He opened the door, looking inside, finding nobody there, except a few monks, scurrying around, greeting him, but keeping on in their search of what ever. He sat down, put his face on his knuckles and stared into the hardwood table, a crackling noise coming from his right hand; Cassandra's letter. His first thought was to go back and return it, but having it between his fingers now; he wanted to write her a letter. Vladislaus probably didn't want to look at it at the moment; it caused him too much pain, obviously. He copied down the address, since he had never known where Vladislaus lived. Then he wrote her a letter.
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Vladislaus sat long after the departure of Gabriel. He regretted saying anything to Gabriel. He hadn't said it they way he had meant to, but now it was too late. He had to write back to her, tell her how he felt, maybe she would change her mind.
'Cassandra,' he thought. 'Oh, Cassandra. I know I might be late at this but, marry me!...' he continued.
"No, you fool! How wouldn't that sound in her ears?" he whispered agitated to himself.
Dear Cassandra,
I love you, that is undeniable. Why have you left me? Do you love me no more? Have your love died, so rapidly? My heart, my soul burns of aching, of loss of you, why have you left me? Do you hate me? Why have you not chosen me? Why, why, why? Have you learned that the love you felt for me, the passion you had wanted to express to me when we would meet again, is nothing in the cold, hard, and heartless reality? I want to meet up with you before your marriage, I want you to look me in the eye, and tell me that I am not the one you love? I want you for what is real, not like Ronan, who wants you because you were supposed to marry me... Whatever you do, don't deny me yourself, if you still feel it. You must now know that you are not holding my ring for me, but for yourself. Keep it, please. Take it, and remember I am as the ring; I love you, I am yours to take, so I beg you to take me. I beg you, love me. Please? If not, then the sun will never rise again, in my heart. Me, I will vanish if you forsake me. God, Cassandra, I love you with all my heart, body and soul, you make my world go round. When I am on the battle field, and feeling worse than ever, you are the one I think of, for only you can bring me my oh-so needed light. Why have you gone so courtly with me in you last letter? What have I done to deserve my world's light go away from me and leave me in the fearsome darkness, where I cannot breath, or smell, or touch, or see, or sense, or hear. That's the place where forsaken men and women are. Will you lead me there? Or have you already...? Have you led us to the cliff and pushed me over the side, and left without another glance at my impact-body? Will you leave me to my doom on the battle field, where I cannot defend myself, and am scared of every vibration in the unidentified ground, having to live the rest of my lightless life in the shadows, do I deserve darkness and despair? Have you chosen another than me, to hurt me? Are you even still innocent? Has he shared his great gift with you already? Have you both touched a sheet together? It would not surprise me. I suppose that for him 'There are resources in everything'. I love you, please reply me as quickly as possible.
I love you,
Vladislaus.
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He liked what he had written, Gabriel. He red it through one last time before he would put into an envelope and send it with the outgoing post.
Dear Cassandra
How to say this in proper words, I am not sure I am able of that. You may take this as an intrusion on your personal behalf, and that is why I am asking you to bear with me, and make friendship with me. Please understand my regret of my action that night. I truly, honestly had not expected it to happen. I thought I too was in love with you, when all I want now is your friendship, for I have a feeling that it might turn into something good, and happy. And if you express liking for my idea of friendship, I must ask what is wrong between you and Vlad? It does not feel right, this argument. I am, however, happy on your behalf, about your engagement with Ronan Kaylan. I mean it in sincerity, and I am too afraid of what will become of Vlad if he knew that I think it probably is better for you. He has not been happy lately, perhaps sensing the way the wind went, but was too stubborn to follow his intuition. I regret any hurt you feel, for I think that deep down inside of me, I love you in a friendly way, and I care for both you and Vlad. I give my regards to you, and Ronan, and may your future be bright, if you refuse my friend-offering.
Gabriel Van Helsing.
He picked the enveloped letter up and went to package office and put it down as a special delivery for 'Van Helsing', which ensured him it would be sent at least the day after.
A/N: now, R&R!
