Hey everyone!!  Sorry to leave you hanging for so long, I just finished 2 of my finals, phew!  Thanks all for reviewing!  I really appreciate it.  Lani-Anela, I read your story Esca Fantasy, GREAT WORK!  Unfortunately I haven't played the FF8 game yet, but I love the way you've described the characters.  Can't wait for an update!  Rina, I have started reading your Emerald Eyed Goddess, and even though I am not a huge H/D fan, your story is original, and very well written.  I'll be sure to finish reading it soon!  Gwydion…this chapter is dedicated to you!!  (for those of you who haven't read my other reviews, Gwydion is my sister!)  You have been so helpful with this story, and if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have found Escaflowne! (or my love for anime, for that matter!)  Reviewers, PLEASE check out her awesome fan art website (you can find the address in her bio) and her stories New Year, and Prequel to New Year (read them in that order, they are in the Digimon section).  So, to my sis, the Queen of Angst, this one's for you!

                                                                                                ***Esca-lover

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            Hitomi,                                                                                    April 13, 1992

            I can't believe it.  I'm scared.  I don't know what to do.  Please help me.  It's my dad, Hitomi…my dad…he…well let me start at the beginning.

            For the past few months my dad has been having really bad migraines.  We didn't think anything of it, and just said it was because of all the stress at work and stuff.  Lately though, they had been really bad, and the aspirin wasn't working anymore.  So, my parents scheduled to meet with a doctor sometime next week but…it wasn't soon enough…Yesterday my dad collapsed.  I remember everything so clearly…He had been standing by the fridge, drinking milk from the carton…Mom teased him and laughed…she loves him so much.  He just made a funny face at her, and kept drinking.  All of a sudden, I saw the milk carton fall and its contents spill all over the floor.  My dad was holding his head, shaking, and then he just collapsed.  I just sat there while my mom screamed.  Folken ran into the room and started yelling.  'What happened, what happened,' he said over and over.  All my mom could do was sob.  Merle had been in the kitchen and was now crying.  There was so much noise…I couldn't take it.  I had to get out of there.  I ran.  I ran away from it all…the noise, the crying, the yelling, the milk spilling all over the place, the image of my dad lying on the floor …everything.  I was so confused.  How could this happen?  My family was finally starting to spend time together.  Was my father going to die?  What would we do?  Would we have enough money to get by?  Would Folken have to quit school to take care of us?  Why….why…why…that word repeated in my head as I ran.  Hitomi, you asked if boys cry a while back.  Yes, they do.  I found myself standing in the park. It was dark out as I stumbled and reached for a nearby bench.  I sat down…and I cried.  I let everything go.  I just wanted everything to go back to normal.  About fifteen minutes later, I saw my brother running towards me.  He'd been looking for me.  At first I thought he was going to yell at me for running away, but he just walked up and sat next to me.  I couldn't look at him, I didn't want him to know I had been crying…Suddenly I felt him hug me.  It was so strange, but it felt good.  I didn't feel so alone.  He started shaking when I realized he had been crying too.  'I'm only 16,' he said.  'What am I supposed to do…I'm scared Van.'  I'd never seen Folken worried before, he was usually so strong and responsible.  Now, he was just as frightened as I was.  I hugged him back and told him we'd work it out together, and that whatever happened he would always have me.  I think it made him feel better because he looked at me and actually smiled through his tears.  The funny thing was, I smiled right back. 

            My dad was rushed to the hospital, and the doctors discovered that he has a small tumor in his brain.  They said there were treatments for it, and that he had a good chance of recovering if he was strong.  He will be going into surgery in a few days after they run some tests.  My family got to see him later that night.  He looked alright, but tired.  Mom said he would be staying at the hospital until the doctors figured everything out. I went over to my dad and just hugged him.  'Van, you didn't think I would leave you guys all alone, did you?', he whispered as he hugged me back.  It felt so good to hear him say that, Hitomi. 

Thanks for listening to me.  I feel a little better after writing all of this.  I'll keep you posted about his condition.  Please write back soon, your letters always seem to cheer me up.

                                                                                    Your friend,

                                                                                                Van

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Dear Van,                                                                    April 25, 1992

I wrote back as quick as I could.  I'm so sorry about your dad.  My family will be praying for him.  I'm just glad that the doctors have some idea as to what's going on.  It's always really scary when someone close to you gets sick like that.  My uncle had a tumor in his throat once.  At the time, I didn't really understand what that meant.  Then one day he came to visit and all I could do was stare.  I felt horrible.  It was bulging out of his neck…I wanted to cry.  He looked so tired.  My parents talked with him about his condition, but it just made me even more upset.  Suddenly, my uncle lifted my chin with his hand and said 'Hitomi, I'm strong.  I'm a fighter.  Don't cry for me, I'll be alright, you'll see.'  He smiled at me and all the worries and sadness I had vanished.  A few months later, my uncle was miraculously healed.  The doctors couldn't explain it, but the tumor was gone!  He's still living today, and visits from time to time.  Believe in your father, Van.  I'm sure he's a fighter too.  Everything will work out, I'm sure of it. 

In biology the other day, we dissected frogs.  It was so gross!!!  All of the boys had a lot of fun cutting it up, but I was horrified.  Ya, it was already dead, but still!  Kari's frog had an egg sac in it…it was sooooo wrong!  How could they do that, take momma frogs so we can cut them up for no reason!  What's worse, I found out that we have to dissect clams, worms, and crawfish next!  I REALLY hate this class now.  How come boys like doing that kinda stuff?  I'll never understand it.

Kari has a boyfriend now.  It's so strange.  His name is Gaddes.  I don't know him very well, but he seems nice.  The thing is, every time I want to hang out with her, HE has to come too.  It makes me feel like a third wheel, ya know? I saw them holding hands yesterday and all of a sudden I felt sick.  What was happening to our friendship?  Did Kari like spending time with this boy better then me? I realize now what I have been feeling…jealousy.  Is it wrong that I'm jealous of my friends' happiness?  Maybe that's not the only thing bothering me…I've never had a boyfriend before.  The thing is I've never really wanted one until now.  Is that a bad thing?  To want a boyfriend?  Ever since Kari has been hanging out with Gaddes, I've felt really lonely.  Maybe that's why I feel like I need a man.  What about you, Van?  Have you ever felt like you needed a girlfriend?  I guess I should just talk to Kari about my feelings.  Hopefully she'll understand why I've been sorta mad at her lately. 

Well Van, I'm going to go.  I hope you're feeling better, and next time I hear from you I'll be expecting good news!  Write back please!

                                                                        Praying for you and your family,

                                                                                                Hitomi

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There ya go everyone!!  I hope you liked it, even if it was a little darker then usual.  Please take the time to review!  They really brighten my day;)  Good luck with finals everyone, God Bless!