Had you fooled didn't I? Thought the previous chapter was the last? Nope its not and neither is this one!

I did a little different this time I took Cruz POV I felt it needed hers too. I don't know if I will do this again or not I just have to see how things go. Bosco's POV is in there two at the end. I just couldn't resist!

The song used in this one is Work by Jimmy Eat World

I didn't mean to cause a rift in them once again, I'm glad that when Bos can't confide in me that he does to her. Im a little hurt though that he can't trust me enough to tell me everything. But what can I expect I haven't exactly been the nicest person. Not like Ms. Perfect. I hated her and yet I envied her because she has had him and will continue to have him, they share a special bond that I cant break I almost did before but some how it build itself back up before I could strike again. That's ok I guess we needed that to happen. We weren't exactly grown up not like now. He's been through so much sometimes I wish I could take away his pain and his fears and fight them so he doesn't have to. That's what makes us human. We are powerless to stop what we have coming to us. Why prolong life if you're just going to die in a few months anyways. Why couldn't I get that through any ones head? Its my choice my right to have the right whether I want to die or prolong it. I bet lots will be happy with the Bitch gone, they can go as they please with not in a care in the world. I know no one is like me and wont get as many people as I did. Why build myself up? Maybe a week or two after my death things will go back normal and I will be forgotten. Who am I kidding a week? I'd give it a couple days' hours even. I'm not well liked and I prefer to keep it that way. Even if it does get lonely.

Two people I have let people in and both times they were out for their own personal gain, well I hurt him but to what extent? He was back acting like friends several months down the road. But I think that was to do with Faith being away he needed to replace her. I was ok with that I really got to know him or what he let me see. But then Faith had to come back and screw that up again. Once she came back he began to hate me just like she did as if he had something to prove to her. I was ok with that because that gave me and Monroe a chance to become friends I was actually starting to let her in. But I guess it wasn't really a friendship now was it? She used me. We are alike in many ways but I would NEVER rat out other cops and look at where that landed me. In jail. I can see why no one wants to go there it's a hellhole. You have to be street smart to be in there. Just once I would like to see either Faith or Monroe put in there for one day see how they would react to it. I'm guessing Faith would become someone's bitch so she didn't get hassled and the Bitch Monroe would try to talk her way out of it. I would like to see that. Talking to someone who's at least weighs a hundred pounds more and about a foot taller than her. That would be some sight.

I am in some way thankful to Faith and her conscience and her wanting to be honest because if it had been anybody else whom I tried to save I bet they would let me rot for all the things I have done. I guess there are some exceptions I know Sully and Davis wouldn't but I couldn't say about Bosco. I had the chance to have something good with him and what did I do? I used and hurt him. The second time? I hurt him by using his brother to get what I wanted and look where that ended up. In the waiting room at the hospital waiting to see how Glenn was after saving my life. It was nice of Davis to come tell us that Wynn was killed. I had respected her; she had experience in areas I didn't. Everyone changed that day I knew how reckless I could be, Faith learned what Bosco's feelings towards her were even if they weren't love it was a kind of friendship that would go on for all time. I have no right to say this but it hurt me to see that he would jump in front of her to save her but I can see where he was coming from I had time to get out of the way being close to the wall. She froze and he knew it. That's what I would like to believe. I think that Davis realized his true feelings for Monroe even if they were short lived. Monroe I couldn't tell you what she learned because I thought I knew her but I don't and never will. I change to Sully now, the wise one I think. I heard about what happened to his wife a couple years back. It was sad so I guess he learned then don't piss off a Russian or a drug lord, the consequences can be life threatening.

I'm sitting here staring out a window waiting for the doctor to tell me the good news or not if the bone marrow actually worked or not. I really don't know if I want it to work its good if that does but I also just want to leave and get away. I still couldn't believe I had decided to get treatment

All I can say
I shouldn't say
Can we take a ride?
Get out of this place
While we still have time
You want to take a ride?
Get out of this place
While we still have time
Yeah - We still have time

They say the third times the charm right? Well this is the third time I have hurt him and a part of me knows he won't becoming back again. It was stupid of me to let him go saying I didn't need him when I needed him the most. Its just all my life I've been on my own pushing everyone away in fear afraid that they would see the real me. Bosco was close to it and I had liked that. But he was gone now gone for good. That's the way it was to be I don't think I could take it knowing how bad he would take my death or the way I hope does. If it were he who was dying I don't know what I would do. He wouldn't show it on the outside but in the inside that's a different story, he's had two almost breakdowns. I fear for him because he actually hasn't said much about how he feels about the whole Mann thing which is just a time bomb waiting to happen. I wish I could be there when that does happen because then I will have something Faith doesn't at least a little bit.

What am I doing sitting here wallowing in self-pity? Why can't I be selfish for once? Why must I always do everything for the better sake of things? I want to be happy and feel loved and I'm not going if I continue to sit here wallowing in self-pity now can I? What am I talking about he hates me again I hurt him again. But why does he always come back like a dog wanting more? I don't know but I just hope he'll come back this time.

I take out my cell from the bedside and turn it on. I know its not supposed to be but they don't know cant hurt them. I dial the familiar numbers that I have imprinted into my brain and got butterflies in my stomach as it rang.

It wasn't Bosco who answered it though some chick who sounded like she was having fun and was perky enough to answer.

"Boscorelli's Phone that came from his pants" I should just hang up now. This was stupid.

Before I could tell her what I wanted some rustling was heard in the background and "Give me my phone" was heard. I didn't want to know what they were doing. I had broken up with him he's already moved on that was good.

"Hello Bosco here" I couldn't say anything everything I had wanted to say wouldn't come out it had left my brain. I just sat there thinking of something to say. I highly doubt he would welcome wonderful weather we are having? This was a mistake and I flipped my phone shut. Uncontrollable hot tears spilled over my eyelids and rolled down my cheeks. I knew then I had lost him forever.

Bosco POV
I was in role call when she called, that new stupid bitch Sgt had answered it and Swersky hid a smile when I actually took the phone back from her. She was in the middle of talking when I got up and left. Something had to be wrong if Ritza was calling me not after what she did. I ran into something and focus on what it was. Faith great! This day was just getting better and better.

"Bos what's wrong?" How could she act like nothing was wrong?

I looked her straight in the eye

"Leave me the hell alone"