Well what can I say? Not much except who's songs I used. You may have already guessed what the first song is: Here Without You by Three Doors Down, the second bolded words are My Immortal by Evanescence, and so is the third, then we go back to Here Without you then back to My Immortal, then the last one is Vermillion Pt 2 by Slipknot. I'm sorry that this is short compared to my last one but its just a little tie up thing that I have to do before my last chapter. I almost forgot I never posted who the songs were in Chapter 8. The songs were Making Memories of Us and Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban.


You have been dead just over three months and everyday I wake up screaming your name. A new dream haunts me now. You are at the end of a hallway and surround by bright lights and I try to reach you but you just look at me and turn away walking farther towards the bright lights. I wake up in a sweat everyday now. Its not getting any easier to face these days without you.

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that i saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And i don't think i can look at this the same
But all these miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

Every one is nice to me as if they know I have lost something. I just wish they would stop I don't need their help; I need you but I can never have you again. Some times when I am alone I swear I can hear your voice calling out to me but I know its not. I visit your tomb everyday and place a single peach rose against it. Do you feel me there?

People were shocked when they saw your tombstone well not the actual tombstone just the name. Martiza Cruz-Boscorelli. I know you wanted to keep our marriage a secret but I couldn't just knowing that you were my wife brought me something I cant describe. People a hundred years from now on will know that you and I were married.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I don't know how much more I can take. The need to be with you and to see you over power me sometimes and the pictures aren't enough anymore. I need something more. Something more real.

But you still have
All of me

If you were here I know what you would say. Time to move on but I cant let go. Maybe because I know that once I let go I can never go back and I don't want that. I even bought your shampoo and wash your pillow in it so it will still smell like you. I haven't moved anything of your yet, I cant bring myself to do it. I look at your shampoo everyday when I go in for a shower but I never touch it, because if I do you wouldn't be the last one to touch it. I know this seems corny but all of this I feel still plays the illusion that you are here.

Everything i know,and anywhere i go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

Will this ever get any easier? I don't know, I'm not sure if I want it too because that means that I have gotten over you and I don't ever want to that.

I am at your grave again tonight just staring at your grave knowing that you are buried beneath where I stand. I feel closer to you here.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Faith has even tried to comfort me but it feels wrong. I don't know how it just does. I don't think theirs anyone out there that can help me this is why I have to do it on my own.

She is everything to me
The unrequited dream
A song that no one sings
The unattainable, She's a myth that I have to believe in
All I need to make it real is one more reason
I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sad.