One day Harry, Ron and Hermione were walking alongCodsvill beach, suddenly Ron started dribbling and stared off into space.
"What's up?" Harry asked in his geeky voice.
"Hermione, will you go out with me?" Ron asked.
Hermione said yes and they went on ahead without Harry.
Secretly Harry was in love with Hermione because she was a geek just like him and Ron was just, Ron.
Harry went off to the local DIY store and bought himself a chainsaw mohwahahahahaha!
He caught up with Ron and Hermione, who were kissing wildly.
Harry ran up to Ron and sliced him up into squares, blood splattered all over Hermione, who was screaming like a baby.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She screamed, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"
Harry just laughed as he rubbed the blood and guts into the sand, in doing this he turned it a nice red that went with the shoes he was wearing.
Hermione was crying her heart out, physically, and I o mean physically because at that moment her heart popped out her mouth on the beach, then with out warning a crab ate it and did a little dance.
Harry then proposed to Hermione, who said yes because she and only she knew she had no heart to give to him, as the crab had eaten it.
TWO YEARS LATER.
Hermione was cooking tea for her, baby Tom and Harry when there was a knock at the door, Hermione answered it. It was the police.
"Hello I'm inspector Cheeze are you the Hermione Potter?" The inspector asked.
Hermione said she was.
"Well I've come to arrest your husband Harry Potter for the death of Ron and Voldermort; they were good men all sliced into square. Sniff." The inspector wiped hi nose on the rug. (Voldermort had been his sister's lover once.)
Well at then Harry walked in at that moment, the inspector arrested him and was taken to Coldberri Prison because Coldberri was his home town, (if you didn't know that!)
Anyway Hermione decided she secretly loved Draco, so she phoned him up and married him straightaway.
She was into polygamy.
But since she hadn't divorced Harry everyone thought she was a mad cow that loved evil spuds.
FIVE YEARS LATER.
Harry was rotting in jail.
Hermione was a mother of six.
Draco was a father of five.
(Hint: it does make sense since Tom was Harry's son, get it?)
Dumbledore had been promoted fish of the year.
ISN'T LIFE ODD?
TWENTY YEARS LATER.
Harry was now forty five.
He was still in prison.
Hermione was a mother of thirty six, and never visited him.
She was now married to Remus Lupin, who was a father of seven.
She had also been married to Neville, Snape, Dumbledore, and Barliman Butterbur who wasn't even in Harry Potter.
Suddenly Sirius came back to life and visited Harry.
"Why you little farthead! How could you! You knew I was in love with Madam Rosemerta. And then you marry her! I hate you! Prepare to die!"
Harry hadn't seen Madam Rosemerta for thirty years, and had hated her very much.
"I didn't!" he cried.
Sirius took no notice. "Don't lie to me!" Sirius turned into a bulldog and ripped Harry's throat out.
Boo hoo.
(Oh well! Who cares.)
Fifty Years later.
Hermione was ninety five and on her deathbed. She had all her five hundred and fifty two children around her. (Including Tom.)
She also had all her surviving husbands 56.
WOW.
Ok I'm going now I'm bored of writing, mmmm squid and jelly on toast! Yum yum.
Love a random girl. (a.k.a Clemmy.)
