Well, here's the part two of 'I never did.'
Checks the calendar Ooh! I'm celebrating my first year anniversary as an authoress on March 25! Rejoice!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed.
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Cagalli POVI was standing here in front of the orphanage Lacus manages, clad in an Orb representatives' uniform.
My head hurts like hell. It has been days since I last slept soundly. Various matters needing my attention were all squeezed this week.
And now, a Friday afternoon, all I could wish for is a nap if only I don't have more important matters to attend.
The important matter I am talking about if a meeting with a special person, Athrun Zala.
Yes, it has been a week since I learned of Athrun's survival. I was so happy that I felt that I was the happiest girl on earth.
But life is not a bed of roses.
Athrun left, Athrun came back, but he was not the same person I knew.
I Never Did
Chapter 2
Forget You
I could never understand the weather.
Whenever I am happy, it is rainy. Whenever I am sad, it is sunny.
It was sunny when my father died. It was raining when I met Athrun.
Maybe the heaven is ridiculing me.
This day, it was unbearably sunny. No clouds were visible except for light strips that are not enough to give shade.
I should be happy this day, shouldn't I? I mean, I am visiting Athrun. Athrun! for goodness sake! Athrun - as in that stupid pilot of Justice who self-destructed his gundam.
He's an idiot. Gundams are hard to make. And yet, he self-destructed his.
I came upon the door of the orphanage. Footsteps were heard upon pushing the doorbell.
The door opened to reveal Lacus, the pink haired songstress, followed by my dear brother, Kira. They gave me a nod and a small smile.
They are pitying me, aren't they?
But why do they need to pity me? Am I not the happiest lady on Earth? Athrun has came back! What more could I ask for?
Kira and Lacus led me to the gardens where Athrun played with the kids.
"Children! Kira-kun is going to bake some cake!" Lacus called. In an instant, the kids hurriedly went to the kitchen followed by Kira.
The songstress faced me and smiled. "Everything will be alright." With that, she left.
I stood at the doorway, motionless, the sound of the swishing leaves filled my ears. Summer really is fast approaching.
"Cagalli-san!" I blinked and glanced at the only person left, Athrun.
He was sitting in the bench, clad in a simple polo shirt and dark pants. His hair was the same: the dark blue strands framed his face well. His emerald eyes were warm and cheerful as he waved at me.
Athrun... why are you doing this to me?
I took a deep breath and placed the happiest smile I could muster. No need to cry over spilled milk, I guess. I forced my legs to move although they felt jelly with fear.
Fear? Where did that came from?
"Lacus said you were visiting today. You were quite early," he spoke gently. I just smiled for I didn't trust my voice. I know my voice would just crack.
Athrun caught a blue haro in his outstretched arm. "I still couldn't believe that I made this thing."
Haro, the infamous symbol of Lacus Clyne.
"You're a coordinator that's why you could do these things," I managed to reply.
He looked at me gently, "Are coordinators and naturals really that different?"
I decided not to reply. Athrun understood and bowed his head.
"Cagalli-san..."
I flinched with his formality. He was not this formal before... why have you changed this much, Athrun?
"Cagalli-san..." he looked at me hesitantly. "Can you tell me about my past?"
I blinked. Maybe I shouldn't have underestimated Athrun. He's smart. I should have known that sooner or later, he would ask about his past.
"W-why d-do you suddenly a-ask?" I croaked out.
He bowed his head. "I tried to ask Lacus or Kira but neither told me what I wanted. They told me about my childhood... but... there's something missing."
"Why do you think so?" I asked although I knew what Athrun was talking about.
"How did we meet in the first place?"
I bit my lip as I tried to stop my tears from falling.
You left, you came back. But now you have amnesia.
He looked at me expecting an answer. I couldn't run away from this, isn't? Taking a deep breath I started my story.
"It was a year ago when it happened... we were stuck in an island in the Pacific Ocean..."
I continued retelling that faithful day. You were there, Athrun. You could never forget that! I thought you were strong... but why are you like this?
That faithful day brought a different chapter in my life. On that day, I met you, Athrun Zala, the man who was able to tame me.
On that island, you took care of me. You could have killed me or even just bounded me and treated me like an enemy, but you never did. You were kind... a trait I never thought a ZAFT soldier would posses.
I am a natural, you are a coordinator. But on that island, we were just teenagers who strived to understand the war.
I still couldn't believe how I managed to fall for you, Athrun Zala. You were my complete opposite. I am quick-tempered, you are cool. Maybe opposites really do attract.
I was happy when you returned my feelings. For the first time, I realized that I am really a lady: a lady capable of finding her prince charming... only that you rode a gundam instead of a horse.
As I finished my story, he went quiet.
You look so innocent. You're eyes are in peace. Your gentle features never gave a hint on all the things you have suffered during the war. You are happy now. Is this the effect of not knowing all your sufferings? Is this what amnesia gave you?
If it is, then it is better this way.
At least you are not suffering anymore. No more reminiscences of all the people you have killed. No more memories of all the people you have lost.
But you are not fair, Athrun. You took all the responsibilities. How could you plan to die without me? How come you're the only one who lost his memory?
I am still wondering why I have this memories. I should have persisted on staying with Athrun. If I did survive, then I could have also lost my memories.
Isn't better that way? At least I will not suffer. I should have forgotten all about you, Athrun. Maybe life would be better that way.
Athrun suddenly looked up and asked, "How did I end having amnesia?"
I bowed my head, my blonde locks covered my eyes a silent tears poured. I coughed a little to regain my composure. "It was because of Genesis..."
Sometimes I wonder how life could have turned out if the war didn't ensue. Maybe I haven't met Athrun. Maybe I'm still self-centered. Maybe I'm still that spoiled tomboyish princess.
What could have happened if Athrun didn't have amnesia? Will we live happily ever after like in fairy tales? Will you really be my prince charming that will save me from all these miseries?
You don't know the pain, Athrun. You don't experience the pain of having the person you ever loved stay beside you only to know that he couldn't remember you at all.
But you don't need to remember me, just staying beside me is enough.
Asking for your memories to come back is already too much. What is important is that you are alive. You still have time to acquire new memories.
But you could never rebuild the special memories that we had.
"Athrun, I want you to make new memories... happy memories."
He looked at me quizzically and so I continued. "You may never recover your memories, right? So just make new ones, okay? I want you to promise me that."
"You'll help me, right?"
Athrun... why are you making this hard for me?
I smiled bitterly, "I will, of course."
I could help you gain new memories, Athrun... but only as friends.
We could never restore the relationship we had.
I opened my bag and fished a white envelope. With a shaking hand, I gave it to Athrun. He took it curiously and read it silently.
He was surprised after reading the letter, "You are going to be married to Yuna Roma Seirin tomorrow!"
"Yes..."
Athrun smiled happily. "That's quite sudden but it is okay. Best Wishes, then!"
I could feel my heart being torn into pieces as you smiled. How could you smile, Athrun?
I couldn't take it anymore. "How could you smile, Athrun?" I whispered bitterly. I faced him, my tears flowed freely. "Are you happy that I am going to be married to someone other than you? For goodness gracious! This is no joke, Athrun! I am going to be Mrs. Seirin tomorrow! and yet you are happy! How could you do this to me!"
I started hitting him but he was stronger than me. In a few seconds he caught both my wrists.
"Let me go! I said let me go!"
"Cagalli-san, you're hurting yourself! Please stop!"
"LET GO OF ME!"
He suddenly pulled me into his embrace, my tears soaked his shirt. I cried uncontrollably. Athrun, how could you do this to me? Why are you doing this to me?
"You said you'll protect me... you said you loved me! But how could you do this to me, Athrun!"
"Cagalli-san! Please stop!"
"Why are you letting me go...?"
When I realized how much I loved Athrun, I dreamed of being wedded to him. I imagined him to wear a tuxedo and I will wear a beautiful green gown. I imagined that the church will be decorated with beautiful flowers and that all my friends would be our witnesses.
But everything will remain a dream.
I should have known that he will not stop me from marrying Yuna, he forgot me already, isn't? I should have known that he'll never love me the same way he did before.
I could never understand the weather.
It will definitely be sunny tomorrow especially now that I have decided: I am going to marry Yuna for Orb and forget everything about Athrun for myself.
+To be Continued...+
So what do you think? Please review!
If you want to criticize, please be kind enough.
I'm still not sure whether I'll end this happily or not. What do you think? Angst is good for your health, you know. sees the raised eyebrows of the readers. Okay... maybe for me only... hehehehe
Yuna Roma Seirin - He's from Gundam Seed Destiny. Yuna is the fiancé of Cagalli. His motive for marrying Cagalli has something to do with Orb and the alliance. (I'm quite confused with this... so if anyone would be kind, please explain this more! please!) Athrun doesn't like him, of course. In episode 13, Cagalli decided to marry him. I'll leave it to you to discover what happened next.
Ja!
miriae
