Disclaimer: Why am I so limited as so I always have to begin the chapter with 'Disclaimer'??? Hmm... perhaps because I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. And Zell doesn't either- so he's no help. Sorry this chapter took so long, but wasn't it worth it???



The night had passed while Etta had slept in the tiny quarters under the deck of the small vessel. She was up on board now and the sun was sparkling on the water as the boat skipped along the waves. It was another beautiful day and Etta's spirits matched the mood. She closed her eyes and smiled to herself as the boat rocked and swayed with the water. In a mere hour she would reach the edge of Esthar- of course after that she would have to pay a shuttle car to transport her to Esthar's medical facility and the ride would most likely take twenty minutes or so. But then, then!- she would get to see her baby at last! Etta's jubilation was momentarily disturbed by the realization that she would have to give him up when he was four- there was a rule about adoption in Balamb.

You must first foster a child for one year, but then the child had to go to an adoption agency or orphanage. After another year you could apply to adopt a child. Usually, by the time the year had passed, the fostered child could not be located or had been adopted. Etta thought it was a ridiculous, archaic system desperately in need of change, but there wasn't much that she could do. All the while she had been thinking this, she had also been using the tiny kitchen facility to make a fish sandwich for herself. She wished that the galley was bigger- she would have loved to actually cook something instead of an excuse for an appetizer. She ate slowly, trying to imagine what the baby would look like. Etta imagined a solid baby boy- with swirls of brown hair. Maybe he'd look a little like her. . .

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Heidi stepped off the Horizon bridge onto the familiar pavement of Fisherman's Horizon. The smell of seafood was shocking after she had been away for so long, and suddenly Heidi realized why so many stray cats had clustered there. It turned her stomach now- she had been away too long. But she wished she could have stayed away longer. She wandered along the narrow street seeing people she knew, but barely acknowledging them. She stepped onto the wooden planks that connected the street and the pier and they creaked below her as if greeting her in recognition. She knelt and traced a pattern on the wood with her finger. The wood was rutted and gouged from years of anchors and other fishing tools. A tear slipped from Heidi's eye and slid down her face where it fell with a drip into the water below.

If she had been more careful- watched where she was walking- done something, she'd have a baby and a husband and a family. She heard a heavy step behind her, one she could have recognized anywhere. She turned around and her eyes met the green eyes of Rodney. The first thing Heidi noticed was his hair. Blonde- wispy coming to a spike in the front- it was the same as her baby's. Tears ran freely then, and Rodney caught her up in his arms when she stood. "I heard- what happened and- where's the baby?" He asked. As Heidi looked into his eyes, there was something deep within that made it impossible for her to tell him what she had done. He may not have been anywhere near perfect, but he never would have done something like she had. Heidi heard a voice say "miscarriage," and it took all to long for her to register that the voice was her own.

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Etta had gotten off the boat and taken a shuttle ride so long that she was sure the sun would be setting by the time she arrived at the Medical Center. Etta was now standing in the entrance off to the side observing everyone without attracting attention. She stood there for some time, unsure how to ask for help until a women at the front desk noticed her. The women smiled and kindly asked "May I help you?" Etta had never been anywhere before, in fact she had never even been out of the country of Balamb. It was easy for her to assume that there wasn't much else to the world. But confronted with more people at one time than she had ever seen in her lifetime was awe-inspiring for her. Regardless of this though, she bravely stepped up to the counter.

"The hospital called, they had a baby that needed a foster parent-?" Etta said. The women smiled.

"You must mean Zell," she commented. Zell had been there for almost a week now and had soon become everyone's pet. The entire staff of the hospital had been charmed by the little baby and most of them knew him by name. Etta was a bit perplexed- no one had mentioned the baby's name was Zell, but Etta was looking so forward to seeing her baby that the name sounded like a measure of song or a tambourine. It was truly amazing how much one syllable could turn into a symphony. The women's eyes softened in understanding and she offered to page Doctor Xiam who, she explained, had been Zell's main physician. He would take care of the rest. Etta was back in her thoughts by the time the women's voice came over the loudspeaker, and the two minutes it took for the doctor to make his way to the front desk passed quickly.

Doctor Xiam came up to Etta, introduced himself and smiled at the look of anticipation that was written all over her face. He could see that she would practically explode if she had to wait any longer to see Zell.

"Well, no use in delaying any further, he's on the top floor- level C. I'll be happy to accompany you," he said. Etta smiled widely, showing bright white teeth and looking slightly downward- a tinge embarrassed that her enthusiasm was so obvious. Doctor Xiam smiled politely and walked towards the elevators, leaving Etta to follow in a half-daze. The Doctor stopped in front of a large orange elevator door and pressed the small "up" arrow next to it. He tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the elevator- a slight ding announced it's arrival as the double doors slid open.

"After you," Xiam said as he held the elevator door open for Etta. Butterflies were pounding against the inside of her stomach. She had no idea what she was so nervous about, she was finally realizing her dream- a baby, a family of her own. The elevator dipped slightly as it reached level C and the doors glided apart. They stepped out of the elevator, the doctor's polished black shoes clacking against the linoleum floor. With no hesitation he began walking towards a door near the far end of the hallway leaving Etta to follow wordlessly. Etta's stomach was tied into an internal knot and she tried to calm down, but found it nearly impossible to relax. She felt like she was looking down from the edge of a cliff, knowing that in a moment she would be jumping without a parachute. She was in a sense jumping without a parachute, they had reached the edge of the door Doctor Xiam had opened, and she was standing in the doorway with her eyes shut.

The doctor looked back and saw Mrs. Dincht with her eyes closed. She obviously wasn't taking the steps that would bring her to her baby and Xiam sighed, slightly impatient. He had a lecture on "Exercise, Eating Right, and Why Doing Neither Can Lead to Heart Disease" in ten minutes and if she didn't hurry up. . . Etta opened her eyes and took a deep breath, bracing herself. She took a step, and then another, until she was standing next to Doctor Xiam. She would never, could never forget this minute of time- the first time she set her eyes on the baby- her baby. He was the smallest baby she had ever seen, smaller than most babies his age. He looked ethereal- his skin held a pale yellow color and was so transparent she could see blue veins under the surface. The baby's- Zell's eyes fluttered open and Etta could see that they were a striking blue.

Etta took in a quiet breath and whispered, "He's so beautiful," to no one in particular. Xiam knew this and chose not to answer. Images filled Etta's head, hopeful images of Zell growing up, going off to school, getting married, having kids of his own. Etta smiled lost in her world of dreams for the future. She had loved Zell the second she had seen him and she would never ever let him go. Zell made a curious gurgling noise. "He likes you," Xiam commented with a small smile. Well, Etta liked him too.









Author's Note: I don't really know how babies act/ what they look like so bear with me. If anyone could tell me how to get italics to show up when I upload in Microsoft Word format I'd appreciate it very, very much, and also- Review please, I don't even care if you type the letter "a," it just helps boost my ego. ^-^