Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own ff8, and once again, thanks to all that have reviewed and stuck with the story and thank Harps for the lack of grammar mistakes, actually dubbing someone "Official Beta Reader" seemed to have helped. Oh- I get it! Beta! You see, every writer reads their own writing first, so the writer would be the Alpha Reader... and then the first person who reads it, sort of the second-in-command, or what not, is the *Beta* Reader!!! Yeah!
~"Zell, I'm sorry, I don't know how to explain, but we don't have a choice. . ."
"No! Stay with yoo! I Stay! Stay!"
"But you can't. . ."~
Etta was at a loss for ways to explain to Zell that he had to go to an orphanage. She'd tried explaining that she had no control over the situation, but he just cheerfully stated that he didn't have to go, he'd just stay. She tried and tried, but with every attempt her reasons were getting weaker and weaker, until even she wasn't sure she understood the reasons anymore, they were all just a lot of legalities and red tape. Hyne condemn red tape, it was now the bane of Etta's existence. Apparently, it was the bane of Gella's existence as well, the little girl had not taken the news that her best friend had to go away very well. She had turned an unnatural shade of pink and her breath had come in short gasps, and then finally she'd screamed and cried until she didn't have any air or tears left in her.
The Shyms tried to keep Gella away from Zell as much as possible after that, to try and get her used to not having him around, and they tried cajoling and coddling her into becoming friends with Camellia Ketter, who lived across the street, but the attempts backfired. It became so that Gella and Zell were practically attached at the hip, the more that the Shyms discouraged contact with Zell, the more time Gella would want to spend with him. Finally, Mabel and Keagan gave up, and let Gella be the judge of how she should go about separating herself from Zell. Needless to say, she didn't actually separate herself from Zell at all, she clung on and spent every minute possible in his company so that she would at least have the memories when he was gone. But that didn't change the fact that he would be gone. Not necessarily gone forever, but there was always the possibility that he might be adopted by someone, and in all probability, if that occurred, she'd never see him again.
The news wasn't easy on Zell, either. Ever since Etta had told Zell that he would be leaving almost as soon as he turned four, Zell had woken up shrieking with nightmares each night. Etta or Evan would rush up to his bedroom to wake him up, go back downstairs to get him a glass of water, then sit on the edge of the bed and listen to Zell babble until he felt reassured enough to be left alone, or until he ran out of steam and fell back asleep mid-sentence. The Dinchts were getting quite a bit of exercise this way, with all of the trips up and down the steps. It was heartbreaking for them, not being able to change or avert the situation. They were helpless, there was nothing that they could do, and they knew it.
In addition to the nightmares, during the day Zell had become needy and afraid of being without the company of someone. No longer would he be content to sit in his room and scribble in his coloring books. Instead he would track his ma down, trying to help, but usually ending up being a nuisance in whatever task she was doing. Etta couldn't fault him for it, though, because she was just as bad, she would sometimes creep up to his bedroom at night, and stare at the fragile little form veiled by the darkness and his blanket, just to make sure that he was still there, that he wasn't gone yet. Between the Dinchts and the Shyms, about five percent of Balamb's population was in turmoil.
At last the three of them, Etta, Evan, and Gella, came up with an idea to take their minds off the impending doom of Zell's departure. They could make something for him, something that he could carry around with him that would comfort him whenever he was lonely or frightened. Gella insisted that it absolutely must be fish-shaped, and Etta and Evan agreed, the fish motif would at least remind Zell of Balamb. Evan carved the fish out of wood in his spare time, and gave it a very sleek look by adding unexpected ornamentation. Every minute spent carving, he thought of Zell, and the three years worth of memories that Zell had given him and Etta. Even if Zell was adopted by someone else, the whole experience would be worth it, just for those three years.
Gella's part in the project came with the next step. Under the careful guidance of Mrs. Dincht, she painted the fish in four different stripes of colors. A cheery spring green the color of a bright leaf, an equally cheery violet, poppy red, and tangerine. The lines might not have been exactly straight, and there may have been smudged finger prints of green in the orange, but it was a true effort from the heart, and that made it possible for any flaws to be overlooked. As if the fish design itself wasn't enough to remind Zell of Balamb, Etta's part in the undertaking was to carefully paint in bold black letters, "HOME." Zell cried when presented with the gift, but he slept with it under his pillow and carried it with him in his pocket wherever he went and through whatever he did during the day. The year passed all too quickly after that, the only notable event being the accidental education of Zell by Evan regarding one or two choice words that Etta dearly hoped he would forget before his stay at the orphanage.
March 16, and the Dinchts were poised on the thin line between anxiety and insanity. Zell's suitcase had been packed already, and a small bundles of simple letters that Zell could read if he became lonely had been slipped into it by Etta, when Zell's back had been turned.
"Ma?" Zell asked hesitantly as he crawled into his bed.
"Yes, Zell?" Etta responded, pulling the comforter up to Zell's chin. His hands gripped the edge of the blanket as if he was drowning and it was a piece of driftwood.
"Yoo still love me?" Zell's eyes were wide with trepidation, waiting expectantly and desperately for an answer. Etta almost laughed at ridiculous nature of the question, of course she loved him, but realized that Zell would take the laughter as a 'no,' so she stifled the chuckle.
"Always. I will always love you, Zell." She assured him firmly, tweaking his nose and giving him a kiss goodnight before flipping the light switch.
