The Regulators
Chapter Five
To clear the flashbacks up: For those of you who have stuck with my stories, the best thing I can do to make up for my error is to say pretend like I never said that Jack hadn't had a girlfriend since high school. So sorry about the confusion! This does take place after Jack and Sarah got married, shortly after, and about two years before the crash.
"So if Sawyer didn't kill that guy, who did?" Shannon wondered out loud.
A small group of castaways had huddled together around a small fire Sayid had built. Shannon was clearly worried about her brother being gone so long, and Jack was personally glad that Sayid had suposivley not told Shannon about the attack, because that would've worried her even more, which would've not been good for Shannon's health, and though he knew it sounded selfish, but Jack felt as if the last thing he wanted to do was deal with an asthma attack.
He hadn't known why he had reacted the way he had when he heard the thought of Sawyer murdering somebody. Kate had said maybe it was just a self-conscience way of revenge, but Jack just sat there pretending as though he wasn't listening, drowned in guilt and embarrassment. It was then that he realized a half a dozen pairs of eyes were on him.
"Well the gun had fingerprints on it," said the first thing from Jack's mouth.
"Good," Charlie muttered from beside Sayid, "at least now we know the polar bear didn't do it."
That statement received multiple glares.
"Well this is just way too much fun for me," Charlie said, standing up, "I'm going to go check on Claire."
A few 'goodbyes' were muffled as Charlie left the group, but that didn't change the topic of conversation.
"Dude, Shannon's right," Hurley spoke up, "we're dealing with a hard core murderer here-"
Jack noticed Hurley's voice trail off as his eyes trailed over to Kate, who was paying just about as much interest to the conversation as Jack was, staring at the ground and poking at the sand with a short stick. He shot Hurley a warning glare, and Hurley cleared his throat, continuing.
"And- um- only a few of us here actually know how to use a gun," Hurley went on, "unless..it was suicide."
Sayid picked that moment to look up, and spotted Boone walking alone out of the forest. Exhausted and limping, Boone rubbed his neck with a hand- a bloody hand.
"I don't think it was suicide," Sayid said dryly, watching Boone as he stumbled over the sand dunes to the ocean, where he began to fiercely scrub his hands in the salty water.
Standing up, Sayid didn't notice Shannon's questions below him as he made his way towards the shoreline, sneaking up behind Boone. He was able to stand directly behind Boone for thirty seconds, and the boy never even noticed him there.
"You killed him," Sayid said simply, causing Boone to spin around, staring at him, "you were able to look him in the eye, and pull the trigger.
Boone just continued staring at Sayid, this unexplainable fear in his eyes. Or maybe it was just the fear of being caught.
"You don't know what your talking about," Boone said cooly, trying his best to keep control over his voice.
"What happened out there?" Sayid said, as Boone furiously scratched the blood off his hands.
Grabbing Boone's arm to catch his attention, Sayid was about to repeat his question when Boone answered it for him.
"It wasn't that hard," Boone said, staring Sayid right in the eye.
Sayid was taken aback by this statement, and showed it.
"I served years in the guard, yet every time I had to kill a man, I found myself falling into self pity."
"Yeah?" Boone said, reaching down and letting the water run over his hands one last time, leaving the tide a cool tone of crimson. "Well that's your problem."
(Space)
Back in the circle of castaways, Jack and Kate were both equally withdrawn from the talk around them, though Jack still found himself glancing towards Kate every few seconds. She had seemed more to himself than usual, and other than her usual 'check up' on him that afternoon, had gone out of her way to ignore him.
"Kate," Jack said suddenly, not being able to stop himself, "can I - talk to you for a second?"
"Um.." Kate said, recovering from being startled by his voice, "sure, yeah."
Jack stood up and held a hand out to help up Kate, giving a nod to the group as they left. They now were walking down the shore line, and Jack felt more and more like a kid each moment, realizing he wanted nothing more than to continue this walk forever, hand in hand with Kate, just disappearing into the sunset-
"What was it you wanted?" Kate asked, snapping Jack out of his daze.
"Oh..yeah..right," Jack said, rubbing his sore neck, "has anything been bothering you lately?"
"What do you mean, bothering me?" Kate said, giving a nervous laugh that Jack could see right through, which only scared Jack more.
"It's just that you've been-"
"Not as worried?" Kate guessed with a chuckle. "I'm guessing you're the exact opposite."
"Kate-" Jack said, stopping and turning Kate towards him.
Unable to find the words to continue, Kate bit her lip, and began.
"Um..Michael told me and Sawyer earlier that the raft was finished," Kate said in a quiet voice.
"I know," Jack said, now just more confused, "he told me earlier. They're leaving in about an hour. We're going to gather to see them off soon."
"No- that's not it," Kate said, shaking her head as her voice began shaking.
"Kate, what's wrong?" Jack asked in concerned, worried that maybe she was sick.
"I'm- I'm going with them."
Kate wasn't able to look Jack in the eye, or anywhere near him, as she said it, settling for a grain of sand on the ground as she felt her voice break, and she could feel the hurt that Jack was feeling at that moment.
"I- I don't understand," Jack finally brought himself to say, his tone rich with pain.
"Charlie and Claire are staying here for the baby," Kate said barely above a whisper, "and he offered me the extra seat."
"But-" Jack said, feeling weaker than ever..
Kate seemed to be the only thing on the island that made him feel human. She reminded him of who he used to be- pretty much who he was now- and that there was a change in the future of everyone. It was like some weird kind of hope mixed with fate that kept him up late at nights, little did she know, and now he wondered if he was about to be stood up at his last chance of- well- happiness.
"Why you?" He forced himself to finish.
"Jack-" Kate began, reaching out to touch his arm, but he jerked away.
"No," he said, more forcefully than he meant to, "I want to know. Is it because of me?"
"No," Kate said with a dry life, "I don't think we're even near the stage of this being because of you. Of anything, it's for you."
"For me?"
"You have to go through so much in one day and I know that I can't even begin to understand that," Kate explained, "and we both know because of- recent events- that things are going to be different now, and I don't want to take the chance of endangering someone else's health for my own..interest."
She hated the last word that she used, knowing that Jack was much more than an 'interest' and the 'recent events' weren't that recent anymore, but that didn't mean that history didn't have the chance of repeating itself. Not that she didn't want that, she just knew it probably wasn't what either of them should be concentrating on at the moment.
"Oh, I'm an interest now?" Jack said, forcing himself to attempt to joke, which made Kate smile at the slightest, and he returned it to her.
"But that's not the only reason," Kate continued quickly.
Jack looked down at her, smile and all trace of amusement gone, waiting for her to go on.
"If they get out there, and let's say they actually find someone," Kate said, "and we get rescued, you and I both know I'll have no where to go but back to jail."
"I won't let that happen," Jack said, though he knew Kate was right.
He had just never wanted to face the truth before.
"But if I go with them, I have a chance of escaping," Kate said, her voice softening a bit, "I dunno, maybe we'll be lucky and find some foreign country."
"You're just planning on- running," Jack said, already worried for Kate, trying to make her way in a country she didn't even know.
Kate offered him another small smile, and looked up at him.
"That's how I got here," she reminded him.
"Hey, Freckles!" A cheerful voice from a few yards away called.
Both Jack and Kate groaned at the site of Sawyer watching them, and then looked back up at each other, both knowing that this was goodbye. Neither wanted to say anything as they head distant sounds of a crowd forming on the edge of the waters. Finally, Kate made the first move by surprising Jack, lifting herself up a little and kissing Jack on the lips, quickly. Jack had wanted it to last an eternity(Sawyer could wait) but Kate obviously had other plans.
"I'll never forget you," Kate said, her voice breaking and tears developing in her eyes, "just promise me that you won't beat yourself up to badly."
"I- won't," Jack heard himself say in some different world.
It was all too unreal for him. A year ago today he was a working guy, making great pay, who had a father by his side everyday(though sometimes not his side). His mother was proud of him, or at least acted that way, and he was respected by mostly all of his coworkers. Now his father was dead, his mother was angry with him, he had no job, and was forced to play hero to forty-five plane crash survivors who really knew nothing about each other. He didn't understand it. He didn't want to understand it.
Next thing he knew Kate was trailing her hand down his arms, and gave him a sad smile as she wiped tears from her eyes and then turned, running back to Sawyer.
(Space)
"So how'd he take it?" Sawyer asked curiously as kate approached him.
"Um..not well," Kate said as she reached Sawyer.
She had forced herself to stop crying, but that didn't mean her voice still didn't break with every word, and she felt her shoulders shake like mad as she forced herself to turn and follow Sawyer's eyes to where Jack was now standing on the shore, looking like a lost puppy with sad eyes that sat hollow in tired pupils as he stared out to sea.
"He'll get over it," Sawyer assured, shrugging the situation off, "he'll be fine."
Kate didn't respond as she continued staring at Jack, hating herself more and more each moment. No, Jack wouldn't be fine. He wouldn't get over it, and he wouldn't hold back from beating himself up. God how could she of been so stupid?
"You want to go pack?" Sawyer said, watching as Kate nodded, and bit her lip.
And even as she walked away, she regretted her decision with every step, and wanted nothing more but to tare away from Sawyer, and run back to Jack, throwing herself into his arm, kissing him until the need for oxygen suffocated them. But still, she couldn't bring herself to do it, and went on, though knowing that the moment she stepped on that raft she'd never be happy again.
(Space)
Jack entered his home- Sarah's home- their home after a long day of work. Two patients in fifteen hours called for overtime, and with his father standing beside him, eyes following Jack like a hawk, it hadn't been an easy day. Of course, when was it ever now? From the moment Sarah had told Jack the news(well the moment he regained conscious), hundreds of thoughts floated around his head all day, raging from what to name the baby to would he be able to finance his child's education. The first thing Sarah did after telling Jack was check on his life insurance, and he was surprised to find out that if he were to be shot in the chest that very moment, the government could care less. Now, with Sarah's pregnancy going on five months, all of that was taken care of with help from Jack's unexceptionally supportive father.
"Sarah?" Jack called after pocketing the house keys. "Hey- I got dinner. I hope your in the mood for Chinese, they already have my order memorized by now, so that was easiest-"
When he received now answer, Jack's eyebrows cocked in worry, the first thought that something had happened without his knowledge. Making his way into the marble based kitchen, Jack set the groceries down on a new glass table, and noticing a note beside where he had chosen to lay them down. He picked up the note and read it carefully, and it wasn't long before tears formed in his eyes..
(Space)
Jack spotted his father at the end of a dark hospital hallway. Christian stood holding a clipboard, signing some last minutes papers as he leaned against the wall. Running, Jack had reached him in moments, and grabbed his shoulders, pushing his father back against the brick wall behind him.
"What the hell-" Christian said, dropping the clipboard before seeing who it was, "what do you think you're doing?"
"You knew!" Jack yelled, shaking the man in front of him, not caring who he was. "You knew and you never told me!"
"I didn't tell you what?" Christian said between gritted teeth, holding himself against his sons restrains.
Jack looked his father in the eyes and saw that he really had no clue what was going on. Christian took this time to shove Jack off of him, sending his son stumbling back just as a nurse walked by, shocked at the scene. Christian waved her off, and took his son by the shoulders, sitting him down.
(Space)
A janitor slow moved by a little ways down where the hall met the lobby of the hospital, leaving streaks of wax lining the floor, sending a shine throughout the room, all the way to where Jack now sat against the wall with his father.
"I just don't understand it," Jack said, lifting his head from his hands, looking at his father, who he knew was wishing for nothing more than a glass of beer, but still was taking the time to sit with his son as he dwell in self-pity, an affection that Jack wasn't used to. "How could the baby not be mine?"
"I don't think I have to tell you that one," Christian said, picking at a piece of scared skin and then flicking it into the cracked tiles of the hospital floor.
"I thought she loved me," Jack said sadly, "I just- never saw it coming."
"Neither did I," Christian admitted, but when Jack looked up to him, he wasn't sure if Christian was talking about Jack, or a personal experience, which bothered him. "Do you want to go get something to eat? I know you don't drink, but-"
"No," Jack said shaking his head, "I could probably use one tonight."
Jack sighed as he stood up, and then reached out a hand to help his father, who was at least thirty years older than he, and way too overworked, a trait that had the tendency to run in the family. Once standing, they both dropped hands, and Christian gazed in sorrow at his son who stood before him, staring down, concentrating on the floor.
"Jack, I can't tell you how sorry I am," Christian said sincerely, "but I don't want to think that this is your fault. This was Sarah's choice, and you don't deserve any of it."
"Thanks," Jack said, sniffling and embarrassed to not only be a grown man crying, but a grown man crying in front of his father, "you know what? Can I skip out on dinner tonight? I think I just want to go back to the house, figure out where I want to go from here."
"Sure," Christian nodded, but when Jack went silent again, he wasn't sure what to do or how to react, so he did it the only way he knew, embracing his son in a hug as he cried softly, knowing that it was all Jack could do, and he knew that he'd stick through with him, just as he promised.
(Space)
The raft was fading out into the distance, becoming nothing more than a tiny dot in the sun. Jack hadn't gone to see the castaways off, but as Charlie passed by, told him to send his regards. He hadn't moved a muscle sense Kate had kissed him, but instead had just stood there, wondering why the universe chose to treat him like this. Did he not deserve to be happy? Was that what the crash was trying to tell him?
Jack remembered how he felt the week following the night Sarah had left him, leaving only a note. He moped around the house until forcing himself to go to bed around midnight, only to lie awake, staring at the empty space in the bed beside him until sleep overcame him in the early ours of dawn. His father would call at six-thirty asking him where he was, and Jack would then stay an extra two or three hours at work to make up for the few minutes he missed that morning. The dinner set with his father was never made up, and the bartender that tended a bar only ten minutes from the hospital(the same bar he knew his father went to) came to know him as the guy who came in every night to stare at beer glasses. He never once drank a sip.
He was beginning to wonder it he'd become like that now that Kate was gone, and decided that he had every right to be. Jack was considering how selfish that was when he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. He was reaching up to it, part of him expecting it to be Kate, who had somehow come back to tell him that she was sorry, and maybe more, when he realized that it was Sayid who was behind him. Turning, Jack faced him, waiting for Sayid to say something.
"She'll be okay," Sayid told him.
"I know," Jack said, nodding and looking down to the ground.
"Besides," Sayid continued, "she has Sawyer to look out for her."
Jack snorted, knowing how ironic that was, but didn't say anything else.
"Boone was wanting to tell you something," Sayid continued a few moments later, "he's back at the caves, if this isn't a bad time."
Glancing once more out to sea, Jack saw no trace of the raft, or any sign that it had ever excised. He shook his head.
"No," he said, "it's a good time."
"Good," Sayid said and turned towards the path to the caves, assuming Jack was following him when really Jack had stopped, taking one last look out into the darkening waters, "Jack?"
"Yeah, "Jack said, shaking himself out of it, "I'm coming."
Jack took one final look back out to sea, and then turn back, heading to catch up with Sayid, telling himself that if he could get through it once, he could get through it again, and that he knew somewhere, his father was still out there. On his side.
Author's Note: THE END! I know, all these cheesy endings! Aren't they wonderful? Sorry for the extremely depressing ending, and I'm sorry to say that it will stay that way until the end. I'd like to thank everyone and anyone who reviewed. Yall rock!
Next fic 'A Bend In the Road':
Life doesn't suit to well with Jack after the raft sails, but life is good when the five sailors return- or so thought. Now Jack must race against time to save a certain castaway, which will be hard when the only person that's there to keep you sane is, well..Sawyer..
FYI, the title of the next fic comes from a Nicholas Sparks book 'A Bend In the Road'. Very good book by the way, if you like romantic novels. Also, I don't have any flashbacks from anybody planned for my next fic, and may not have some. The ending of this next fic will be two or three chapters. My goal right now is to make you cry all through the ending, and I was hoping to get some tears shed through that ending right there..muhaha..evil, aren't I? I dunno, I might continue the Jack flashbacks, though that will be a little too much. I could have Sawyer, but don't really have an idea for his, or I could have multiple..hm..
And don't worry, you'll find out what happened with Sarah and the baby in the sequel to the next fic..Jack doesn't know, so don't ask him!
Crazyhorsegirl88: Or should we say, bunny? Lol! Poor Jack..it's not his fault he's allergic!
Well, thanks again, and I'll hopefully see you then!
(no rhyme meant there)
Next fic should be up soon, so..
Until next time..
October Sky
