Hey!
YES I PROMISE! THIS WILL BE THE LAST NEW FIC I START! After this one, I'll begin rotating.
Lets see how this goes before we comment anymore.
Now on with the show!
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or Gundam Wing, and right now I'm too lazy to look up who actually does. I'm just stating that it's certainly not me.
Part 2: Knowledge
Standing before a broken mirror, stands two of me.
One was once me, the tsukihime, princess of the moon, looking every bit the royalty that she is, though this is the first time I ever remember seeing her wearing a school uniform. My school uniform… It looks nice on her, and even though she's me, that thought stings a little…
I myself, am naked. Butterflies are all that cover me; magical butterflies that sprang from the broken mirror.
It sounds immodest, standing there naked, especially in front of all my friends, but… somehow, it isn't. And besides, whatever the butterflies can't cover, my hair will, because this is a new body, and my hair is cascading down in falls, no longer in odango's. Just long golden falls… It's darker than Serenity's, but some of her silver has leached into my gold, just as mine has with hers.
Mamo-chan is hovering between us, looking lost. I feel sorry for the poor soul, now that there are two Usako's. Why are there two Usako's? Which one should he comfort? Would one hate him if he went to the other? Which one is the right one? And so he comes to a standstill.
You'd think with the amount of awe the senshi have bestowed upon me, that they'd be thrilled by another hime to worship. But that's just not so… most of them are looking a little shell-shocked, and a couple of them look like they're debating whether to henshin or not.
The darker more sardonic side of my psyche is rather grimly amused by their reaction. Split in two and I'm automatically elevated to 'threat'. How… quaint.
The rest of me can't help but look wearily at them, feeling rather small and timid with so many eyes on me. And there's no mistake that it's me they're looking at. I'm the one that am standing naked. I'm the one that the mirror reacted to. I'm the one that is not their tsukihime, made obvious by my lack of golden crescent. My only saving grace is Pluto, naming me Usagi, and that one name still has enough sway to still their hands.
"What happened?" Mamoru asks, looking rather dazed towards Ami and Pluto.
Ami is the first to open her mouth, she's so used to being the one they ask for help since Pluto so rarely shows up, that it's become an automatic reaction, but she's just as dazed as the rest of them, and after several failed attempts to speak simply squeaks shaking her head, looking to Pluto for answers. This is simply too out of her league.
Setsuna smiles comfortingly to her, but doesn't say anything, simply lifting a finger to her mouth, a sign for silence. Calm crimson eyes then turn to Hotaru, the youngest of us all, who has during this time silently risen and slowly reached out her hand to touch me.
Her touch feels timid, light and slightly hesitant as her fingers slide down my flesh, my muscles slightly trembling as they loose the warmth of the butterflies.
"You're Sailor Moon, aren't you…" she breathes, her big violet eyes wide with wonder as the disturbed butterflies flutter back to my bare skin.
"The thing is, Usagi-chan, that there never was a Sailor Moon in the Silver Millennium. Luna forced you to create an entirely new magical body…"
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and breath out. I can feel the butterflies leaving my body, the soft brush of their wings as they disappear into nothingness, their magical connection severed as their magic returns to me.
A soft wind caresses my skin, creating the illusion of them still being there, but I know that they're gone, just as I know, that I feel, that the wind is wrapping me in clothes, clothes that will sooth my senshi's minds, the smooth weight of a familiar tiara settling on my forehead as my arms are wrapped in long silken gloves.
Opening my eyes, I finally speak for the first time during this meeting, "Yes I am, aren't I?"
Hotaru is smiling at me, as is Pluto. The rest of them are still looking a bit unsure of me, but at least Rei and Haruka don't look homicidal anymore. Mamoru has gone to Serenity, not yet holding her, for fear of mistaken identity, but all the same, it is her he is standing by.
It hurts.
"When Serenity ascended the throne at the age of twenty-two we all knew she would lose her ability to become Sailor Moon, but nobody thought to ask why, or how it happened," Pluto began, keeping eye contact with the senshi until they lowered theirs to the ground before she continued, her eyes boring into mine, as if willing me to understand.
"As Saturn said, Queen Selene did tamper with fate when she used the Silver Crystal. Serenity was destined to die that day, but she didn't, instead she was sent into the future."
In the background you could see Serenity shiver at that piece of knowledge as Pluto told it. But then again, so did I… after all, we're the same person… I would have died as well…
"When Usagi was born, she was born outside of fate, because she was depraved of her original destiny when the crystal swept her from her death; thus everything she touches, everything she's connected to, is affected by her presence, because she is beyond the scheme of life."
"Usagi-chan, have you ever heard of the butterfly effect?" Pluto interrupted herself, causing both me, the senshi and the… loving couple… to jump at the sudden change of topic.
I have not heard of this famous theory, and judging from the looks of the others, neither have most of them. This is an excellent place for Ami to redeem herself.
"It's the chaos-theory, a theory many scientist have debated about throughout the years: 'A butterfly flapping its wing in one part of the world may change the weather patterns in another.' The point of it is that a tiny flap of a wing may orchestrate a tornado, that if the butterfly had not flapped its wings, would never have happened."
"Correct," Pluto nods, making Ami beam with pride.
Tapping her time-staff against floor, making her seem oddly nervous, a very disturbing thought, she looks me in the eye, "You are a butterfly, Usagi…"
Oh…
"And Serenity is not."
Even I can hear the heartache in Setsuna-san's words. And that does bring some comfort as all my dreams fall to pieces.
And it all makes sense now. Because I am a butterfly, all the monsters have come my way; because everything I touch turns to chaos. That's why all the attacks stayed in Tokyo, when Metallia would have been much smarter to attack elsewhere. That's why I always stumbled into their plots, however well they're hidden. Because of chaos.
"Together you and Serenity make Tsukino Usagi, and your life has been as normal as it could be till now, because it's not as strong when you are joined. When you hit puberty the chaos activated, bringing Luna and your magical powers. But the chaos also brought the awakening of your past life, a life where you were not a butterfly, and therefore limited the amount of chaos surrounding you and Tokyo. But you can't escape chaos, even bonded with Serenity; you saw it getting worse; and it will keep growing stronger the longer you stay in one place."
I don't want to believe this. It's too much. I don't want to be a butterfly. There has to be a way out of this…
"W-whose body am I in then?"
"That's the magical body you created. Sailor Moon's."
"S-so this body's not real?"
I'm a ghost! I don't have a proper body anymore! Is nobody as horrified as I am!
Ami actually speaks to me this time, instead of gawking at me like the rest of them.
"No, no, Usagi-chan! Think of it this way: Every senshi has two bodies, one normal body, the one we use for daily life, and then the magical body, that we use to fight with. Both bodies are a part of us, proper flesh and blood, but the magical one is… enhanced… a warriors body. When we get hurt in battle, we dehenshin, and while we reside in our other body, the magical one heals."
"Then why did I get this body?"
I don't want to be magic! Serenity was the magical one! All I wanted to be was normal! NORMAL!
When I fall to the ground, very much like a sack of potatoes, Pluto pulls the big one on all of us. I've always known that Pluto can be motherly; hell, I've seen her with Chibiusa; Chibiusa, I'm not going to be her mother, am I?
As I fall apart on the ground, she sits down beside me, hugging my back, rubbing soothing circles as I cry.
"Sssh…" she croons softly, stroking my hair, "You were born with Serenity's soul, Usagi-chan. Your normal body is part Serenity. Serenity was never a butterfly, and the only body she could reside in when you split apart was that body over there. Sailor Moon however, didn't exist when Serenity lived; she's pure you, a pure butterfly, and that's why you are special."
I am no longer Serenity, that's what they've been telling me. As kindly as they're telling me this, that's at the heart of it. Being Serenity was the only reason I was among the senshi, because I was their tsukihime.
Now I may still hold her memories and all the knowledge she contained, knowledge that was unleashed when we separated, but I am no longer the tsukihime. My friends are going to leave me…
How ironic… I got my wish: a chance to quit the Sailor Senshi. After all, that's what I've been whining about all these years I've been fighting. And now my chance is here, all I have to do is give up all my friends and my fiancé, to forget my future daughter and the man I love with all my heart. And I don't have any choice but to take it and watch the person that is me, and yet is not me, have all the things I've fought for these two years for free.
"Heh, minna… a-at least I d-don't have to worry about d-dying, and my parents n-not finding out. I can spend more time with them now, ne?"
The stony eyed look they all share, though some of them are crying, lets me know I've forgotten something.
"…it will keep growing stronger the longer you stay in one place."
"I… can't stay here, can I…?"
"Oh, Usagi-chan, we were hoping we were wrong," my first senshi-friend, Ami, weeps, "It'll only get worse, until the chaos-effect ends."
And that's not until I die… I am going to be doomed into an endless wander, leaving all that I know; my friends, my family, my… the senshi, I'm never going to see them again, too busy fleeing the chaos that I bring.
"Serenity is also you, and they are her family as well. She'll," Michiru catches herself, trying to soften the blow, "We'll watch over them for you…"
"Can't I stay?" I'm desperate. Worse than not being normal, I don't want to be alone! Give me a million talking cats, a dozen future progeny, a hundred youma dancing the conga naked, just don't leave me alone…!
"This world has had it's struggles. Now is time for peace. A few years from now, Crystal Tokyo will be erected, but the work begins now… You can't stay, Usagi-chan. However much we love you, you simply can't stay."
"Where will I go? To where can I go?"
"To another world…"
After Usagi left, the other senshi bombarded Pluto with questions. After all, she was always the one that knew the most; and though they had all stood together when Usagi had been banished, they had all loved her dearly.
"Why did she have to leave!"
"Where did you send her!"
"What kind of world could possibly benefit from a butterfly!"
"Will she be happy!"
"Will she survive!"
Tugging on Pluto's skirt, little Hotaru added her thoughts to the mayhem, slight voice trembling: "Will we ever see Usa-chan again?"
Sad, crimson eyes looked back down.
"No, we'll never see her again."
Violet eyes teared up, "Where did she go?"
A small smile broke out on Pluto's face then, and her eyes glowed bright.
"The only place where she could find happiness…"
And through it all, Mamoru and Serenity stood together…
Praeceps:
Well, I hope that clears it up a bit more for you guys…
For anyone that's interested, I'm following the pattern of the manga Sailor Moon mostly. They actually let you know a bit more about the future in that than the anime, though they never did come up with a reasonable approach to why Serenity lost the ability to become SM. It always bugged me, so this is MY solution.
I'm actually surprised that no one but 'Gackt Camui Loves You' wanted to know what 'Yami no Hikari' and 'Hanasu na Unmei' meant, since I didn't put up any translation… Now, I'm certainly no expert on Japanese, and I'm the first to admit that, but if I did it correctly they should mean something like this:
'Yami no Hikari'—'Light in the darkness' '(light)Ray of the darkness'
'Hanasu na Unmei'—'A release from destiny/fate' (Hanasu does mean to talk, but it's also the dictionary form of 'hanase' which means to release
If you haven't guessed it yet, she's been sent to the Gundam universe. Next chapter won't have any Usagi, but I'll be being a real bitch to poor Heero, and letting you know what's happened over there.
Oh, by the way, was delighted by the amount of reviews I received, would it be too much to hope for the same kind of response with this chapter? I just loved all the insightful comments you people spouted and am now seriously curious to hear more!
One last note, I'd like to hear what you think of this fic (don't all authors, eh?), and point out beforehand that complaints about OOC-ness and pairings will be ignored. It's going to be a Usa/Heero pairing, but to be honest I thought that was a bit obvious from how I wrote the summary (oh well)…
Thank you for your attention.
Oh! And any spelling mistakes can be blamed on incompetent English teachers, and/or my spell-check program, because I, myself, am PERFECT! ;-P (and when I say I am perfect, I MEAN perfect. My daddy said so ;-P )
If you have any questions about the story that you find unclear, I will do my best to answer them, as long as I deem them of no harm to my present plot-line. I really appreciate all your ramblings (not in any way meant as insulting, just clearing that up), and might use some for inspiration if permitted, but for now I have my own agenda.
-
Well that was all, for today at least, toodles! ;-D
