C H E C K M A TE

by T.a.i.n.e.Dreamz

A/N: this is my first ever fruits basket fic and because I have only ever read voulume 3 of the manga, please expect, me to get some things wrong. Also for the record I am NOT a cutter or am anorexic. Although some of my closest friends are, if you are then tell someone and look for help; also any views expressing disgust on this subject are only used for the story, THEY ARE NOT MY OWN VIEWS ON THE MATTER! Just one more thing I am not sure how to rate this fic so any help to how I should rate it would be helpful and with fanfiction messing about with the ratings I do feel a little lost LOL...but fo now I will rate it R in the old ratings and M in the new ones, if you do not hink this is the right rating please do tell me andI will change it.

Disclaimer: I T.a.i.n.e.Dreamz do not own Fruits baskets characters, but i do own the plot. I am merely borrowing these characters for the use of fanfiction.

!Warning!

This fic contains graphic scences (or what I think is graphic) of Self Harm and a mildhints of anorexia in it. I also will have shouen-ai (BoyxBoy relationships), there will be NO yaoi in this ficthough.If you cannot handle these please stop reading and return to the fanfiction homepage. If you continue on and do read the fic and do not like th scenes in it you have been warned. If you do report me for this I will say that it has been clearly said here what content is in this fic and I will report you to the staff for harrasment.

A/N: Now that that is over with I have only on more thing to say...I LOVE QUICK EDIT! I also want to say now that any characters used in this fic are not actually real people and they are not real, if this does happen I mean you no harm it was not intended also no infraction in any other story is ontended either, if there is an infraction I did not mean for there to be one. Now we can begin.

Chapter 1, the game we all play...

You know sometimes it only felt like a game to him, to watch the blade slice through marred skin, watch the tear he could never cry appear as ruby beads, which shattered and ran down his arms in rivers of crimson, he should have never started, he knows it wont end, he was a man who admired real beauty, destructive or not.

No one had ever seen him like this, they only knew of the happy, perverted Shigure, the Shigure who did every thing wrong and nothing right. Could they never see behind that mask? Could they ever see him crying, did they ever hear his screams…..no, he was become sick of pretending to be the comic relief, the idiot to cheer them all up when they were down. Well where were they when he needed them most? It was becoming harder and harder every day to keep up his façade, even though most of the time he did it out of habit, he did it so they would they would think there was nothing wrong with him……….not even Akito noticed that he was suffering, no no-one ever thought that the 'worthless mutt' was worth they're time. He knew it was true too, he was worthless, he was a mutt, he was a sadistic bastard who's parents had abandoned him like an unwanted pet………..oh wait that's all he ever was…..unwanted.

He sometimes thinks that it would be better to cut too deep so that he could watch his last piece of art dance in tainted blood before he died; no one knew that he drew either and he could draw pretty well but he always thought that they were bad and that he could never do anything right. Dogs are supposed to be man's best friend but what if your not even friends with yourself?

Shigure always knew that he was messed up that he was crazy………but could he help it? To him not being able to feel cold metal in his hand and see the his garnet spheres pool around him was to try to die and be rescued from his suicide, he doesn't think that he would be able to handle the shame and disrespect the other Sohma's had for him already with the embarrassment of a failed suicide on his conscience. If Shigure was going to kill himself he would have to do it right now mistakes, no flaws, his plan had to be perfect.

As if he were in a trance Shigure got up bandaged his wrist and cleared up the blood in the bathroom, hiding his blades behind the toilet and after a quick check in the mirror his façade was back up again, as he walked out of the bathroom ready to face the other members of the household.

Put on your mask

Keep it held high

The masquerade ball

Is held here tonight

Shigure's POV

I walked out of the bathroom down to my study……..yes I Shigure Sohma was going to finish off the novel I was currently writing. I really would off preferred to be an artist, most of the time in my study is spent drawing, they are usually quite scary pictures but I didn't think so……no they aren't scary they were works of art.

I opened up one of the drawers in my desk it was always kept locked so I opened it with my key around my neck. Upon opening the drawer I took out some sheets of paper with detailed drawings on them; I took a look at some of them, pictures of people dying, this girl whom I continually drew as though she was being crucified, being killed by others for something she did mot do. Yes this was these were the pictures of how I truly felt. Picking up a clean sheet of paper I grabbed a pencil and began to draw again.

I don't know when I dosed off but I fell asleep when I was drawing, probably from the lack of blood I suppose. After gathering up my drawings and locking them away, I made my way down to the kitchen to get something to drink.

'Good morning Shigure!' said Tohru, as sweet as she was she does begin to grate on your nerves at that time of the morning, especially after you slept in your office and have not had any caffeine injected into your system yet.

'Morning my dear flower, how are you today?' I asked as sweetly as I could putting on a fake smile. 'I'm okay, but will you stay down for breakfast today? You haven't been eating much recently……' said Tohru as she trailed off 'I'm okay, I have a big deadline coming up soon, so why don't you leave some off your delicious food in the fridge for me….I'm sure I can use the microwave to heat it up later on.' I lied, but I was surprised that she only recently had noticed I hadn't been eating that often, trapping myself in my study or the bathroom for hours so that I wouldn't have to eat. I did have a deadline coming up but it was a month away; even when I did eat with them I would usually throw it up sometime afterwards, that's why I always had my after dinner baths, every one thinks I just like taking baths, I do but it also gives me the time to throw up.

I quickly grabbed the coffee I had just finished making and went off to my study, the only place where I could truly be myself and be the mutt I have always been and cower away like a dog does when it knows it has done something wrong but doesn't want to get hurt for it.

I stumbled a little bit on the way, but decided to cover it up by singing the high school girls song, I actually really hate this song but it has gotten me out of sticky situations before.

Tohru's POV

I watched as Shigure stumbled a bit on his way to his study and tried to mask his slip up by singing, it was obvious to me that he wasn't planning to eat the food I left out for him because I had been finding the meals I had saved for him in the bin when I took the trash out and he also hadn't been coming to eat his meals at the table saying that a deadline was coming up. I really was beginning to worry, his kimono looked very big now on his frame and his face was becoming hollower and paler each day; I have seen on more than one occasion his kimono nearly slipping off his lithe frame and I think I see scars, red angry lines that mar his pale skin. It really makes me worry if I'm either thinking into this too much or if I am right and that Shigure is slowly slipping into depression and none of us have noticed?

I asked Kyo and Yuki about it and they said I was probably just imagining it that I was worrying too much, but this time I feel as though there is something really wrong and we are all to blind to see that he is hurting and it hurts me more than anything else how we all sit back and ignore it………………..

Hatori's POV

After doing the annual check up with Akito I decided to go visit Shigure, I know I haven't visited him in a long time but……I didn't have any other patients today except Akito so I suppose I could visit him.

'You're not planning on seeing that mutt today are you?' Akito asked, this sentence knocked me out of my trial of thought 'Yes I was' I answered back truthfully 'I haven't seen him in a while and I need to do a check up on everyone in that household.

'Your probably right' drawled Akito 'Dogs always need someone to look after them don't they? It's like taking away they're favourite chew toy, they beg and beg at you until you give it back and they get angry at you if you don't. They never repay you for it either' I looked at Akito I had to sadly say that he was right what had Shigure ever done for anyone in the sohma family he only done things for himself and nobody else…..he really was a filthy mongrel.

'Yes but Akito I still have to check up on the other members of the zodiac in his house as well you know….' Muttered Hatori 'Yes I know but if anything is wrong with our dear Shigure will you please bring him back to the main house; I'm beginning to feel a little bored and I do need a plaything.' Akito said as he looked at me as though he were daring me not to bring back Shigure……wait did that mean there was something wrong with Shigure or was I supposed to make something up so he could stay here at the main house so that Akito could torture him……

…..I suppose I would I still remember what happened last time I disobeyed his orders.

I stood up and with a short bow I left the room deep in thought.

Akito's POV

They were all so gullible….I could nearly laugh but I was excited to see if he brought Shigure back or not….I would be interesting if he did because then that would mean I was right with something being wrong with him and I could always use it against him.

Sometimes I really loved being head of the family…..

Shigure's POV

It was nearing one o'clock in the day and since the other members of the household were at school Shigure took this as another chance to cut; but first he had to throw out that food Tohru had left for him in the kitchen.

I looked in the fridge, seeing as it would be the most likely place that she would put it and saw the little package, I picked it up and threw it in the bin; it's not that I don't like Tohru's cooking, she really is a good cook….it's just I haven't been feeling too hungry as of late. I decided to get some coffee to drink, and I could have my favourite type of coffee, black coffee….when everyone else was here I'd would have to take tea but when they weren't here…..well lets just say it was one off the guilty little pleasures I gave myself.

After finishing up in the kitchen I went to the bathroom and got out my blades and some fresh bandages. After checking last nights fresh cut and giving it a clean dressing I just realised that my hands had been shaking ever since Tohru said to me that morning that I hadn't been eating a lot recently, I hope she doesn't notice because I know that somehow she will find a way to beat herself up over this.

I slip off my kimono and stare at myself in the full length mirror in the bathroom, angry red lines cris crossed over one another; some where a few months old, others were nearly a year old but most of them had been very recent. My ribs were visible, each bone jutting out like it was not supposed to and on my back I could feel every bone in my spine and they also jutted out at wrong angles, some people eat more when they feel depressed but I actually eat less.

I don't know why but the urge to cut over every little thing came up for him more often and he hated the feeling. When he needed to cut he would start off to find that he had an itch underneath his skin, one of those itches that only a blade can scratch, if I don't get to cut then I get this queasy feeling and begin to feel nauseous, next I begin to feel cold and begin to shake and have never went past that because the pain was too much to bare.

I began to run the blade down my arm, it was one of my razor blades I ended up taking a razor apart so I could just get the single blades, they cut so much better than a knife, I just leaned hard enough to leave a thin red line after the blade but not strong enough to cut it. Then I pressed down harder whilst moving the blade up and down my arm, it opened the skin, my flesh parting like the red sea, ironic that that sea was not red and the one is but that sea is dead. That's why they call it the Dead Sea; I guess it does make sense; anything that sees that its different makes them want to taste it and ends up being killed by it.

It was a lot like when I cut except instead of dying from tasting it, I found a strange solace in it and the addiction soon became obsession and even though my obsession will eventually turn to death I didn't really care, why? I didn't care because I knew nobody else would that's why, even though my obsession was making me cut deeper each time, I didn't feel it because the emotional pain inside him was so much stronger than the physical pain he felt on the outside. I was so wrapped up in my emotional pain that I didn't even here the doorbell ring and the door being knocked, all I felt was the gentle kiss of death on my arm, that feeling assured me that it wouldn't be long now until I could finally mean death and when I did I would accept it with open arms……….

As if waking out a deep slumber Shigure heard the door ringing and someone pounding on the door; he suddenly realised he wouldn't have time clean up so he quickly hid his blades, wiped up the blood that had fell onto the floor and through on his kimono. He was suddenly thanking the gods that he chose to wear a black kimono today, because whoever was at the door would not be able to see his blood on the kimono.

As I walked to the door I was straightening out my hair and putting up my façade again……as I got to the door I saw the last person I wanted to see…...Hatori. Just great, just fucking great I thought Hatori had to come the day when I hadn't bandaged up my arm; the only reason he every came here was because he wanted to give us a check-up. I have to admit to myself I had been purposely going out the days he was coming over for a check-up because I knew that he would see the scars; I'd been doing it for a year now he usually came once every two weeks for a check-up but he wasn't here last week and I wasn't expecting him to come till next week.

'Hatori! How long has it been since I last saw you my dear friend!' I shouted joyfully; I did sometimes go during weekdays to visit Hatori, although I always made sure he wasn't in his office so he couldn't give me a check-up. Though I must say it's nearly been a month since I last saw him.

'Shigure it's been a while, can I come in sorry I had to come here today for a check-up but I couldn't come during the weekend so I came today and anyway you haven't been checked up for over a year.' Said Hatori happily 'Yeah sure come on in….' I said as I scratched behind my neck…..how the hell was I supposed to get out of this?

I watched as Hatori went and sat down on the near the table in the living room so not knowing what to do I asked him a question 'Tori-san do you want some tea?' 'Yes' he replied 'and could you bring some sake in?' he asked So I went into the kitchen and got the things whilst thinking to my self I wonder how much sake it will take to make him drunk? Of course I didn't dwell on the thought too long as I brought put the sake and some green tea.

I gave Hatori his cup of tea and held onto mine as I set down the sake on the table. As soon as I set it down though he grabbed it saying we must make a toast because I haven't had a check-up in a long time, three guesses why and the first two don't count.

Hatori picked up the bottle of sake and poured generous amounts in each cup and handed me my cup back and we made the toast; but while I was drinking the tea that was laced with sake I suddenly felt sick, I didn't understand why though, I used to have a very strong metabolism to alcoholic drinks but I guess I hadn't had any since a year ago…that might be the reason I thought.

When I took another drink for my glass I began to feel light headed and I could feel a headache coming on, I was about to say that I didn't feel too well to Hatori as I beginning to stand up; all I remember is clutching my head and then darkness caressing my mind as I was swept into an unconscious state.

Hatori's POV

I had a bad feeling ever since I entered the house, ever since Shigure opened the door for the matter, usually he's really quick to open the door, but I just guessed he was in the bathroom.

When Shigure had opened the door he looked pale and very frail, as though a gentle zephyr would knock him over. I knew back then that I immediately took back everything I said to Akito he wasn't well but I knew I would still have to bring him. He was quite clumsy today as well today; his usual natural grace was missing and his movements were sluggish.

While he was getting the drinks it had struck me I hadn't given him a check-up in over a year……that's why I said for him to bring in the sake. After putting the sake in our drinks and making the toast, when Shigure took a drink he looked as though he was going to throw up and then when he took another sip of the drink he began to stand up and mutter something but I didn't have time to catch it, because all of a sudden Shigure clutched his head and collapsed. I knew immediately the alcohol had something to do with his fainting but he usually had quite a strong metabolism…so it did confuse me a bit.

As I got up to see what was wrong or if Shigure was doing this to get out of his check-up, yes he has done this before, I walked over to him and nudged him slightly on the shoulder, when he didn't wake up I was worried it was the first time ever I had since Shigure faint, so of course I was worried so I quickly flipped him over to the recovery position to make sure he could throw up if need be and realised something…..Shigure was very light to push into the recovery position or either I was getting stronger which I highly doubt so I went for the former and this really got me worrying; but the thing that scared me most was when I lifted my hand away from his arm……my hand was covered in a thick red substance…it was also on the floor where Shigure previously lay; I think I shocked myself slightly when I realised this was Shigure's blood……on my hand, on the floor and can I say there was a lot of blood……he obviously didn't cut it on the way down so……I held my breath as I began to lift up the sleeve of Shigure's kimono and nearly threw up at what I saw…..

A/N: Ohhh don't ya just love cliffies? LOL! Now all I have to do is start on the next chapter remember feedback + me more updates! I can handle critisim but if you flame me you have been warned of this content remember and if it is a flame on my writing skills I shall take your flames to cook my marshmallows with.