My Immortal
Summary: Danny's life becomes impossible knowing he's ruined someone else's life. It's even worse knowing it's his best friend.
Rating: PG-13 for mature themes and language.
Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does. I do not own My Immortal, Evanescence does.
Chapter Five
And it won't leave me alone.
Sam's hand paused a split second before she knocked. The ring Ryan gave her glinted at her in the dim light of the upstairs hall. She drew her hand back and let it fall to her side. She wanted to forgive him, but it was so hard. Every time she thought about all the times he'd put his life on hold, or at risk, for her made her realize how much she was giving up by just letting their friendship fall apart. But then again, if he'd turned on her once, what was to stop him from doing it a second time?
"I can't believe you're giving up that easy," came a scornful voice.
Sam turned and glared at the girl hovering down the hall at the top of the stairs. "You just want me to talk to him so you won't have to."
Jazz shook her head before brushing her hair back behind her shoulder. "I'm worried about you both. I don't know what's going on but it worries me and you two are going to work it out."
Sam regarded her critically for a moment or two. "What if it's not that simple?" She couldn't begin to tell them how complicated it was. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by the squeak of Danny's door opening. She turned and stared at him. He stared back no emotion in his blue eyes. They seemed darker than she remembered but maybe she was imagining it.
Suddenly a hand on her back shoved her towards Danny. She shot Jazz a dirty look. She just turned to them both. "You two are going to go in there and talk. Or Sam can talk and Danny can stay mute, whatever. I just can't live in a house with whatever's going on going on. Now you have fifteen minutes."
Sam was fully prepared to tell Jazz exactly what she could do with her interfering attitude, but suddenly a hand clamped down on her wrist and Danny gently drug her inside his room and shut the door. Sam stood in the middle of her room feeling lost. She didn't know what to say but apparently Danny wanted to talk to her.
She glanced over at him as he dropped onto the edge of the bed.His bangs fell down hiding his eyes.He definitely needed a haircut.Yet, his over-grown bangs seemed to accent his cheekbones. Not that that was hard to do, his cheeks looked terribly sunken in and his jawbone seemed far more prominent than it should.His skin seemed a little more sallow than she remembered.Sam felt her breath catch.Jazz's words echoed in her head.He's stopped eating and sleeping.
She bit her lip.She knew it had to be her that started.But what could she say to the person who she had trusted more than anything in the world, who turned around and betrayed her.She felt stabbed in the back.She knew that he couldn't have been in his right mind but that didn't make it hurt any less. Sam tried her hardest not to blame him. But when she would lie in bed at night all she could think was if he tried harder he could have stopped it.He could have fought back.
He looked up at her at that thought, almost as if he had heard it.He cleared his throat and started to speak. Though the first few words weren't really intelligible, what she did catch we "so sorry."Sam shook her head, cutting him off."I can't talk about it yet."She could hardly believe herself. The past three months, she had imagined up all sorts of ways this conversation could have gone.Now that it was here, she would rather talk about anything but the subject.
His eyes seemed to darken with pain but he nodded.His gaze fell to his lap and hers followed.His hands were resting aimlessly against his knees.She swallowed."When did you start wearing a watch?"Danny lifted his left wrist and stared at it as if he had never seen it before.
"My dad got it for me for my birthday," he replied softly.His voiced sounded hoarse from not being used, as if every word took great effort."I asked for it."
"Oh," she replied."Don't people normally wear watches on the hand they write with?"His head snapped up at that. His gaze seemed much more intent than normal, almost angry.The thought sent a shiver through her.But it wasn't anger; it was more like a guarded look.His jaw was set though and that added to it. "Sorry," Sam amended quickly.
He seemed to visibly relax slightly. "It's okay.It's nothing I can't trust you with."He looked down and his gaze seemed to narrow."You're not the one who did anything wrong."
It was Sam's turn to go rigid."I said I don't want to talk about it."
"Sam, if we both keep this up, we'll never talk about it.I can't stand knowing that your falling asleep down the hall and you still hate me."
Sam swallowed."I don't hate you."
Danny shook his head, a hollow look coming to his eyes."But you can't be in the same room as me?"
"I'm here now, aren't I?"But despite the confidence in her voice, she knew that was what had been going on for the past two days.They hadn't spent more than five minutes in the same room since she arrived.
He shot her an apprehensive glance. "Because my sister made you," he accused.Sam didn't respond.She didn't know how to.He sighed."I know I can't put this into words," he paused.Sam felt the panic bubble up inside her at the prospect of facing this conversation."I'm so sorry it happened, Sam.I would rather have died than hurt you."
Sam willed the tears filling her eyes away, but she knew it was pointless. "Well, you did."
"Don't you think I know that?" He was suddenly on his feet."Don't you think I have to go through every day knowing that?"Sam bit her lip.She wanted to cut him off but didn't dare.
He walked past her and stared out the window.He stood there against the light, just a tense-shouldered silhouette."It'll never happen again."
Sam started at that sentence."What do you mean," she asked dimly.
He spun to face her."It won't happen again.I made sure it wouldn't, Sam. Danny Phantom won't hurt anyone ever again."Her confusion must have showed on his face.He sighed walking back over and falling backwards onto his bed. "Nevermind.You're not ready for this."
Sam felt an indignant feeling swell in her chest."I'm what?"She looked down at him.She couldn't help but notice she could see the bottom few ribs through his shirt.She almost felt sick.She wished she could tell herself she had nothing to do with that but she did.
"Sam, this is my secret.I don't want to burden you with it."
Something inside her snapped at that statement."Burden me?Burden me," she repeated, her voice taking on an almost hysterical edge."I've had to live with the knowledge that my best friend killed my brother and my baby and didn't even care enough to call."
He sat up quickly and his eyes lost focus for a second as if it had hurt tremendously.Sam felt a pang of regret but not enough to make her take back her words."And if I had called, Sam? What would you have done?Hung up the phone on me!I had to sit here for three and a half months dwelling over the fact that I had the blood of three innocent people dripping from my hands! And you want to know something else, Sam?It wasn't my fault!"A dry sob seemed to work its way out."I didn't have any control over it."
Sam just stood drinking in his words, not sure how else to respond.Danny's eyes softened as he seemed to visibly break before her."You've got to believe me," he whispered softly, anguish shining in his blue eyes.
Sam almost cracked.She stepped a few step forward, standing so close she could feel his warm breath against her cheek.In that instant she did the one thing that she could think to do; rammed her fist hard into his stomach.
Danny gasped for breath, doubling over slightly."Sorry," Sam said softly, but without a hint of remorse."I didn't have any control over that."With that, she spun on her heel and ran from the room.
Yay! New chapter I hope you all like it. And about the way I spelled Jazzmine, that's the way it's spelled on the character section at and in all the other Nick things. So, if anyone can show me where it's spelled normal, I'll change it. Sorry if I upset anyone. Here's to my reviewers: Amiee, Zeon of the Twilight Blade x3, The Fuzy Llama, BunnyGirl, august x2, kitty00240, pnktears, autumngold, Hwoarangsguardie, Dannys-Ghostly-Girl, Fox of Light, DarkPunkGirl, Spice of Life, Cat o'thWind, osparrow x2, cheerin4danny, Ryo's destiny, RainbowSerenity, Mrs. Granger-Weasley x2, WormmonABC, Janus-Wolf, Moody Maud, Sakura Scout, The Good Girl, Wind91Rider, AngeloflLight x2, MayB, Kagome51, and Chibi Millenia Phantom. You guys are so cool I don't know what to do to thank you...
