Disclaimer: I do not own the Potter boy or the blonde-boy-beautiful. Or anything Harry Potter for that matter.
a/n: Set in SIXTH year, ooc, beautiful, gorgeous.
Draco Malfoy was, messy, to say the least. With his father a soulless vegetable and his mother a well known call girl, Draco had lost the respect of the house elves and so, he really wasn't as clean and well looked after as he once was.
His hair hadn't been cut in some while and his lame attempt at straightening the locks magically, failed, so they hung distastefully to his shoulders. His robes were wrinkled and in parts too big or too small.
He had also lost the respect of his house mates, and the whole school. With no power left he had nothing to threaten Hogwarts with. So yes, it was true; Draco Malfoy had fallen from grace. His misfortune evident behind his un-focusing grey eyes, which screamed reckless innocence.
But not only had Draco Malfoy had fallen from grace and lost his family, (also having to spend the summer before sixth year with squib relatives.) he was prone to receiving taunts and beatings from people he thought he could trust. Just one action out of place and he would end up in the hospital wing.
This forced Draco to reconsider his past actions, and the one thing that stung more than anything was the loss of respect from someone he new he might need, in the coming years, with the Dark Lord gaining bucket loads of power by the hour.
And even though Harry Potter had put his father in Azkaban, Draco knew that it was for the greater good, because Draco knew that with his father soulless, there was less of a chance that Voldemort could penetrate the walls of Hogwarts. Draco wouldn't succumb to the Death Eaters and with his father gone there would be no way of talking Draco, the one they all expected to naturally be dark, into becoming evil. And this meant that Harry had saved a part of Hogwarts, now that Draco couldn't be pawned off.
Harry had also saved a part of Draco, because even though the taunts and beatings from his house mates could be brutal, the raping and emotional abuse from Draco's father was fatal. After each dose of mental, physical or sexual abuse from Lucius, Draco would punish himself, for being such a horrid little boy.
So in short, Draco had fucked up, this because he had ruined the one chance of having Harry's respect.
But Draco wouldn't tell anyone that he was grateful towards Harry for the sentencing of the lifeless puppy dog that so faithfully walked at Voldemort's heals, not that he had anyone to tell. No, instead he pretended not to notice anyone, just walked around, adopting the air and look of someone who can't connect with reality.
Draco had been trained to be tough from birth. To expect the best, in every situation, but to understand the worst of any situation, to be prepared for that happeneing.
So he wasn't really surprised at the fact he lost everything, except his innocence, because of Malfoy pride.
And the Malfoy pride that had been instilled in him, meant he kept his head up at the worst of times.
Draco had an inkling from about the age of eight, that the he would end up with out inheritance, without his parents and without friends. This was because a house elf that despite the ways of living her people were accustomed to, she rebelled and spoke true to Draco, giving him titbits of advice that she new, one day, he would need.
"You better be nice, Mr. Draco sir, you know what happens to horrible people don't you?" And Draco would nod, because when he was naughty or horrible at home, Lucius would get angry and abusive, "so remember Draco, stay pure inside, keep your head up at the worst of times, and when you need saving, Search for someone that needs saving just as bad."
Melva, managed to get away from the Malfoy Manor, shortly before the condemning of Lucius Malfoy. She fled, against all principles and rules laid on her, for being a house elf. She never was happy with conforminity, she was rebellious.
But her words were true to Draco, and he was beginning to understand them fluently, as he got older.
And I guess that's why he was huddled on the stair case outside Gryffindor tower, late one December night, hoping to find the savoir of the wizarding world.
"You will need that Harry Potter, one day, Sir. Don't you forget that!"
XXXXXX
If it was up to Harry, he would be just the average Hogwarts schoolboy, however the strain of the war and deaths of students and teachers, put a divide in what was a normal Hogwarts school boy.
On the one had, normal was someone with courage, someone to have, most likely, fought in one of the many battles that had raged through Britain, and a whole toll of dead friends but despite this, would keep there heads up and a smile on there face.
On the other, it was someone who had lost everything, didn't say much, and kept them selves to there selves, embursing there selves in books and study, to forget there problems.
And there was students that still had everything in the world, family, friends, homes, love. These were far and few between, but such people did exist.
Harry wasn't sure which category he fitted into, he was told he was courageous, but didn't belive it, preferring the reality that he was guilted into fighting for the light.
He wasn't sure that he was happy either, the one thing that brought him comfort from the truth of many dead associates and family, was music. Harry could listen to music for hours, making shows in his head to fit certain songs.
So in this respect, he kept him self to his self despite the fame and 'popularity', however he always kept his head up high, desperate to prove nothing had affected him on a large scale.
Also, Harry Potter, wasn't the type of boy to break the rules anymore, he didn't really wander the halls, or sneak into Hogsmeade. In fact, he rarely left Hogwarts, and when he was at Hogwarts he was either in his bedroom or lessons. He very rarely went to eat, having mastered the art of sweet talking the elves to bring his dinner to his room.
His room was a private one, given to him by Dumbledore, to help aide sleep. This was because of the ever looming war and Ron's snores, and the general troubles of being a teenage boy meant he found it hard to sleep, at the best of times.
In his own room he could do what he wanted, when he wanted, without being disturbed.
The room's entrance was right next to the common room entrance for the Gryffindor's, and was spacious, with a sitting room built into an alcove and an ensuite bathroom.
It kept Harry's troubled thoughts clear and that was all that mattered.
XXXXXX
Harry was leaving the Gryffindor common room late one December night eager to get into his room and sleep after the most harrowing study session with Hermione. He loved her to pieces, but hated her when she nearly came all over textbooks.
Some people like bondage, Hermione is into studying.
And after he had spent a few hours with her, he left, tired and desperate to listen to music on his birthday present from Dumbledore. An anti electric stereo system that had speakers all over his room, allowing music to be heard everywhere.
But as he climbed out of the portrait hole and turned left he tripped over a large figured huddled to the wall, resulting in blacking out, and falling into a very euphoric sleep.
XXXXXXX
Both the Boy-wonder and Boy-beautiful were both now asleep on the ever changing stairs that donned Hogwarts. Draco had fallen asleep due to exhaustion from many nights of tears and laying, afraid of sleeping in case he could never wake up due to death by a Slytherin. The hours he spent ignoring every Gryffindor that passed and holding back tears had gotten to him, roughly 40 minutes before Harry tripped over him and passed out.
Harry had an arm over Draco, who was peacefully snoring. How it happened, no one would have guessed. Why it happened was a mystery.
The dawn came quicker than expected, and peeves had a nice way of waking both boys up.
A splash of water on each boy did the trick beautifully, allowing some insults to be thrown each way.
"What the fuck are you doing Potter?" Draco snarled as he saw the arm holding him close.
"Ewwww" Harry proclaimed his disgust at holding the blonde boy obvious and apprant to anyone that care to listen in..
The silence ran through them, as they stared at each other, waiting for either to start a fight. But in all honesty neither had the energy, Harry was still slightly out of it due to his concussion, which he quickly took care of with his wand, and Draco because that's how he always felt.
XXXXXX
It was several minutes later, when Draco began to blush. This was evident to Harry, who began to feel slightly weird and unusual at even a hint of un-negative emotion from Draco.
Yes a blush could be negative, but it could also be positive, making it neutral.
And this slightly scared Harry, as he continued to watch, careful of turning his back in case Draco pounced on him.
But nothing happened and they continued to stare.
"I'm leaving!" Disgusted at himself for holding the blonde, and as Harry stood up, beginning to climb the stairs, further up into the castle, Draco panicked, afraid of being alone.
"Where!" He squeaked eyes wide as he raced to catch up with the brunette.
"Away… from this," Harry made a crude gesture with his hands, "I don't want people asking questions, Draco, I want to be left alone, to my own thoughts, with my own mind and the people inside of it!"
Draco slunk back a bit, unhappy to be spoken to like an annoyance, but he couldn't help understand what Harry meant, he had felt the same until now.
"Yeah? Want to be alone?" Draco asked with an innocence that was sickening.
"Yes… now will you just leave me?"
"Harry…" Draco squeaked out.
"What Draco. Honestly, you're acting like a girl!" Harry smiled at this; Draco really was acting like a little girl.
"I don't care… I'm... I mean… I don't want to be alone. I'm always alone. Cant I just walk with you?" The blonde paused walking a bit, afraid of the answer he knew was pursed on Harry's lips.
"NO! Draco, honestly, don't you get it? I want to be alone, I never leave my common room on Saturdays… or weekends… or holidays for that matter !And now I have, I want to spend as much of it in peace as possible," Harry sighed, not wanting to sound too rude, "Cant you go and find some of your Slytherin friends to play with?"
"What friends…?" Draco asked meekly, before turning around and walking away from the direction Harry was walking in.
The utter simplicity of Draco's answer made Harry stop and turn around. He looked upon the small blonde, afraid of any more emotion that may be shown that he might have to deal with. Instead Draco's face was hidden from his and body language showed nothing.
The blonde was merely walking away, untidy robes trailing behind him.
"I really am a git…" Harry said, hopefully loud enough that the blonde would hear.
"Yeah, so was I… but I am trying to change…"
Draco turned around, halfway down the staircase, trying desperately not to look like the prat he was the year previous. He pursed his lips slightly, eyes narrowing.
Draco began to walk back up the steps towards Harry, trying in earnst to look innocent, instead of the mortified look that donned his face when he woke up.
"I'm going to go" Harry paused as if thinking, "… I don't know actually I didn't have anywhere planned…"
"Well it is… what time is it?" Draco asked through a small victory smile, as he looked around desperately trying to notice the time on any wall possible.
But Harry was quick witted, so he pulled out his wand and transfigured Draco into a clock, with a sad face, noted the time and burst into a fit of laughter.
It took a while for Draco to be turned back, because Harry would keep laughing.
XXXXXX
"You really are a git!" Draco said the second he had become human again, "I feel all wound up!"
"Probably PMS," Harry said in tune with his earlier comment to Draco being a girl.
"What?" The blonde asked, confused, stepping up to Harry as if to talk some sense into the dark haired boy.
Draco was a lot closer now… Harry could see different etchings on the blonde's face. A few scars on his chin, the slight misshapen nose, possibly from previous breakage, a scar from a split lip.
Still, he was still Draco-the-boy-beautiful.
And Harry could be comfortable admitting it too. He knew how to appreciate the beauty in others.
Draco obviously caught onto what the Gryffindor was looking at, because he glanced down, frowning, his head tipped slightly to the right.
"Don't…" Harry nervously exclaimed, "I didn't mean to… I didn't want you to… Oh man! I mean, your beauti-" Harry cut himself off at his stupidity; he didn't want anyone thinking he was gay. It was hard enough as it was, seeing as Gryffindor quidditch players had a bit of reputation, "I'm sorry…" Harry said, as he too looked away nervously.
"I think the old staff common room would be good to go to, no one is going to be there, because, the staff have a better one, and… if my clock side is correct its 6:30 on a Saturday morning! Draco said, As if a teacher himself.
"Ok, fine. As long as it is warm!" Harry demanded, glad that Draco had over looked his comment.
XXXXXXX
The walk to the common room, took some effort, seeing as both boys muscles were aching from the previous nights sleep. But they managed it, only taking twice the time they should have.
"It is a beautiful morning," Draco said, smiling at the sky out of the window, whilst his hair fell back drooping down his shoulders. He was sitting with his legs tucked under him, on the fitted in widnow seats that looked over the lake.
"Yep!" Harry added, smiling at how Draco looked so peaceful.
Silence began to run through the small, round room of the common room. It was very bright inside, with candles and widows that let in as much of the morning light as possible.
Harry began to look around uncomfortably, trying to find something to say, however Draco beat him to the quick.
"What music you like, Harry?" Draco asked out of the blue, hoping Harry wouldn't give him the wizard coated version of his preference in music.
"All sorts, when I am back with the Dursley's, during the summer, I will spend hours just listening to the radi-" Harry cut off, unsure if Draco would understand.
"Yes, yes, radio. I'm not a complete idiot Harry. I… I spent last summer with distant relatives of mine... squibs actually. They prefer muggle life to Wizard. So I learnt a lot about certain muggle aspects of life. The radio and television being some of them!" Draco giggled, apparent he had one up on Harry. This, because Harry wouldn't be able to be condescending whilst explaining what a radio was.
"So what music do you like then?" Harry asked simply.
"Bands, mainly. Um… Razorlight? Kings of Leon? Know them Harry?"
"Yup!" Harry Simply stated.
"Bet you don't!" Draco giggled, trying to get a friendly rise out of Potter.
Harry turned to face the door of the common room, which was slightly ajar, imminent he would not loose any race that the blonde was against him in.
"Accio Guitar and amp, Portable cd player and cd case." Harry turned around and stuck a tongue out at the blonde, who scowled back.
The items Harry had requested came threw quickly, shining in the mornings light. The sun was glowing as if summer, even though it was December.
"You know what this is, Draco?" Harry asked, as he picked up his bright, hulk green guitar.
Draco laughed, obviously un-offended at the patronizing tone placed upon him. "You know what this is, Harry?" He asked whilst giving him the middle finger, "Sit and swivel, bitch"
Both boys laughed, as Harry began to set up his guitar and amp, he was whispering spells and incantations on all the items that he had summoned.
"I thought these things didn't work in Hogwarts, magical interfering something or other?" Draco asked.
Harry continued to mutter his spells, before turning to Draco, "Ahh," He held up his wand, "But I am magic!" More giggles…
Harry began strumming on his guitar, trying to place the song in his head, but he couldn't quite get what he was trying to play.
"What are you doing you idiot?" Draco asked softly.
"Trying to place this bar of music I have in my head," Harry smiled and winked at Draco, "Why don't I play something by Blondie, just for you?" He smiled as Draco looked bemused.
"Ill sing, you follow ok?"
Harry nodded as Draco smiled, placing the own rhythm in his mind.
Harry waited, eager to see the abilities of the blonde, who had so openly refused choir second year.
" 'Under my thumb..'" Draco started…
"Nope! Don't know it well enough!" Harry stated, slightly panicked.
"Um, ok, how about 'Rip it Up' by Razorlight?" Draco asked, slightly peeved.
"Yep… everyone knows it, it's so… over played!"
"Fine, something else then! What do you want to play!"
"How about we listen to music, people will be getting up soon enough, and I would rather avoid everyone" Harry said, shivering at the thought of being hunted down by anyone. Everyone was so worried about him and the sudden closeness of war.
"Yep!" Draco replied, copying Harry's one word answers.
Within ten minutes, the boys were in Harry's room and the room was set under a silencing charm and the doors were firmly locked.
Both boys clambered onto Harry's sofa that was sat in a large alcove, with floor to ceiling windows, which looked over the quidditch pitch, set several steps down from Harry's own room.. They put the music on loud, drowning out all inhibitions about what each other was doing as to why they were hanging out with someone they had so openly disliked all those years previous.
XXXXXX
" 'You with your switchblade posse.. Ill get my guns from the south…'" Both boys sung in unison, happy to be slightly free of the restrictions of Hogwarts even though the one class they had today was growing closer.
And as the song ended, so did the boys high, from music.
"Christmas holidays start tomorrow," Draco stated, "You going home?"
"This is home," Harry emphasized… "I mean, yeah… I would rather be here."
"Me too…" Draco looked towards Harry's bed.
"You here then?" Harry asked slightly confused.
"Yeah! Unfortunately! I would rather be somewhere warm, with no magic, just me and my thoughts… and music!" Draco smiled at his thoughts.
"What?" Harry offendidly asked, "No me?" He mock-frowned.
"Of course you, Harry!" Draco smiled at him, intensely adding more emotions to the small room they were in.
Harry moved back a little to look at Draco, studying him in the cold light that was floating through the windows. He looked so angelic, so elven, so innocent.
"Draco… tell me something about you."
"Like?" He asked sceptically.
"Like, what do you like, who do you like, what are your hopes, fears, dreams, tell me… I want to know!" Harry demanded, putting it on to sound girly.
After snorting, Draco opened his mouth to reply. He cocked his head to his side and bit the inside of his lip, "Well, My likes are music, rock preferably. Movies, comedy is the best. Coke, beaches, quidditch, green, oranges, cinnamon.
My dislikes are, women who think they know it all, (pansy!), my father, death, hate, pain, Slytherin, ghosts, nails, magic, no magic, no food and homophobes.
My dreams are to find someone to care and love me, even if that is just a friend. I fear death, incredibly! And I guess… my biggest hope has always been to be loved… in some shape or form…
I sound so idiotic don't I!" Draco blushed, afraid he had made a fool out of himself!
But Harry didn't say anything. Instead he kept on looking, eyes slightly narrowed, careful that he wasn't mistaking this person for someone else.
Draco Malfoy… Afraid of… Anything.
Draco Malfoy, alone.
Draco Malfoy, something other that just that 'death eater's' son.
"I want to be your friend." Harry stated, out of the blue.
"Thank you." Was all Draco could muster.
"I… ImsorryIwassuchaprickdownstairesearlier-" –sharp intake of breath- "ItsjustIdothinkyoubeautiful butnotcauseim…. You know… gay."
"So what if you were gay? I am!" Draco stated.
"You are! Wicked!" Harry smiled.
"What? Why wicked!" Draco asked, slightly worried.
"Well, first I thought you were jealous, then just weird, then I though you possible might want me… and now I do!"
"What are you on about Potter!" Draco asked, backing away slightly.
"When you used to stare at my arse all the time in quidditch!" Harry Giggled. "Just made me feel good knowing you wanted me, someone did!"
Draco blushed before laughing his embarrassment off. Yes it's true, he had stared, frequently!
"I… I don't know what to say.."
"Well admit it, come on! You wanted me!"
Before Harry knew it, he was pounced on by Draco, who had him pinned against the arm of the sofa, his smirking face set downward upon him.
"Maybe I still do?" Draco half asked, "Maybe, i'm so tempted to get you into bed right now, Potter. Maybe, just maybe, your what i'm looking for…"
"You… ya wha-" Harry asked, slightly worried about the situation he had found himself in.
And as if Draco could see the sheer worry within Harry's green eyes, he backed away, towards the door…
The song in the room played softly, 'I think I'm falling…' and Draco seemed to be moving in time to the beat, his actions slow in Harry's bewildered eyes.
"Draco, wait… I mean, I'm sorry." Harry ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at it as he pulled him hands away. He looked towards the floor, scared of a possible reaction from the figure in front of him, who looked as if he didn't know whether to move forwards or backwards.
"Please don't go…"
"I… I'm sorry Harry." Draco was now too looking at the floor, leaning with his back against the round walls of the alcove.
"Its ok, I know you were joking… were you not?" Harry asked, kidding himself as to the confusion in the room.
Draco quickly paced the room towards Harry. He sat back on the sofa and looked directly at him.
"That's the thing, Harry, I'm not joking…" Harry looked away, unable to face the confession, "I mean, its not just you, I mean, well yes it is, but I am gay… I think. And well, I don't know whether its just having you show me affection and friendship in the hours we have been here that has made me seriously consider whether… I like you in more ways than one."
Harry was now looking at Draco, his head tipped to the side as he did so, his elbows rested on his knees, and his fingers twined together.
"I…wow… I am speechless, I don't think anyone has shown such an interest that was believable… but Draco-" Harry was cut off by the sudden lurch of the blonde next to him, his lips aiming to press against Harry's.
And because of the sudden action, the Gryffindor was unable to move for a few seconds, until eventually it was Draco that pulled away.
"I'm not gay…" and the sentence couldn't be finished properly, or heard by anyone. For Draco had shot out of the bedroom like a bat out of hell.
