Harry had slept unsteadily the night of 'the kisses.' He couldn't believe that someone would invade his space like that or even push there luck.
He was especially unhappy with the fact it was a boy and in all honesty, unhappy that it was anyone at all.
The summer previous, he had decided, that after Cho, it was a better thing to not get involved with anyone. This because Harry knew anyone that came close to him would end up getting hurt, either by him or the Dark Lord.
And this also was partially the reason why he had moved from the confines of Gryffindor, even though he was only next door. The other reasons for his departure was the fact he could never sleep decently because of the nightmares, but also because of Ron's dragon snores and continual sleep talking. There was also the fact he hated being around so many people, the constant stares and whispers. He wasn't really suited for fame and glory however that's what fate had decided should happen to him.
Yes, Harry had become a recluse in his own home, but he liked it. Free to think about the war and the possibility of death.
Another plus side, was he was able to carefully feed his drink habit. Not that it was much of a problem, but Harry did like to drink, because when he did all feelings off loss spiralled into the abyss, and all he was left with was his music and dreams.
XXXXXX
When the time to wake up came, Harry grumbled unsteadily in his bed. He would have slept in, had it not been for another school owl tapping violently on the window, seeing as the poor thing had been soaked to the bone by unsticking snow.
"Alright! Alright!" He screamed through sleepiness, as he walked to the windows in the alcove.
He was nearly to the window, when Harry saw it. The glinting bottle of 'Mort Fire' left on one of the shelves in the alcove.
"One wont matter." He convinced himself, before opening the window for the distraught owl, and settling down for his early morning wake up call and what he once again assumed as bad news.
XXXXX
Across the hall from Harry, a painting of the weird sisters held the entrance to a room occupied by Draco Malfoy.
The boy, pushed away from his housemates and beaten by those he had believed loved him, was currently in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet that was holding his breakfast and dinner from the previous evening.
Draco didn't eat much, but when he did, he felt sick. He had never thought of the continuing battle with food as a problem, however since he had been sick more and more recently, he had noticed lines and creases in places they shouldn't be. His bones were a little more poky than usual, and his hair slightly more straggly.
Draco had also heard a rather persuasive knock at the window, and this jolted himself from his violent bodily actions.
Removing his fingers from his throat, he magically opened the window and waited until he heard the owl flap from his room, before sliding his fingers back down his throat.
He made himself sick once more, before shaking his head, "This has got to stop, Draco."
XXXXX
Further down the hall, behind the painting of the Weaselhog, the sounds of percussion had stopped because inhabitants were still in there bedrooms.
Sasuke and Naruto, the Japanese exchange students that no one knew much about were still asleep, thinking of when death may retrieve them from this impossible, but very real, hell.
For Sasuke, life couldn't be worse. His parents had been savagely killed by part of his own family, his brother to be precise, and he had been forced to move to England, with the idiot Naruto and not too competent combat teacher, Kakashi.
And if life couldn't be worse, he had been sent to Durmstang for a year previous, in which he had been exposed to a world of dark, unlawful people.
This had sent him into a fit of depression. His home, his life, his family, all gone. His thirst for revenge had consumed him whilst at Durmstang, and he had accidentally committed himself to a side of the dark in which not even Voldemort would have believed possible. However, it was Durmstang. Well, Durmstang and Naruto that had gotten him into such mess.
Sasuke relied on his revenge for many things. Motivation to learn well to become one of the highest ranks of Aurora in his home country of Japan, to put up with Naruto and to deal, for as long as possible, with the conditions of England, the last place he ever wanted to be.
Yes, Sasuke relied on his revenge for many things; however he had never thought anyone would rely on his revenge for there own benefit.
Sasuke was quiet, unless there was his drum kit in front of him. He didn't do much, except study and train for the upcoming war. He had a part to play in it seeing as the power given to him in Durmstang would eventually mutilate itself to evil if he didn't use it for good in its early stages of development.
Naruto on the other hand was a much more outspoken boy. Like Harry, he had never known his parents, or any family. And as a result of this, Naruto spent most of his time trying to gain attention via pranks or trying to prove himself through the severe mortal combat training that was more necessary in Japan than quidditch because of the increase in dark organisations.
Naruto was a small boy, with bright blue eyes and unruly blonde hair. Very different to the almost black eyed, black haired styled-to-be-unruly Sasuke.
Yes, Naruto was a normal boy, and he accepted everything with a mere shrug of his shoulders, trying to forget all that had happened in the past, mainly blocking out the memories to be safe.
So much kept inside and too much powerful magic for a boy his age, Kakashi, the combat teacher, was more than convinced that this magic would erupt at a time no sooner than the war. And he hoped he could persuade Naruto and Sasuke to use their magic and powers for good.
Both boys however, were filled with love. Time after time, during there training and sessions in Durmstang, they would fight, and make up, simply because they knew a friendship, even only based on this very reason itself, could get you out of a lot of trouble…one day.
XXXXX
Sasuke and Naruto, whilst in there slumber, had both forgotten to open the owl hatch, built into the wall in there room.
More like a letter box that slid in and out of the wall, it provided them with peace, from pesky owls. Much like the ones that had disturbed the blonde boy wonder and his enemy goody-two-shoes.
So, when awake, both boys received letters, that appealed less to them than England itself.
Sasuke was the first to open his, carefully pealing the seal back and looking as if someone had taken a shit right in front of him.
He began to read, before groaning at the familiar handwriting of the headmaster. This was because after so many letters detailing this and that they were fed up of the bother from the man, even though he had best intentions.
Naruto was busy stuffing his face as the dark boy in front of him read, "What is it?" He said through a mouthful of muffin.
"Dumbledore…he wants us to- Oh for fucks sake Naruto, you're such a child!" Sasuke exclaimed, for Naruto had gone to scratch his chest, however had ended up rubbing the muffin all over himself, and the carpet, and was preceding to itch his crotch where the muffin had fallen down, "Anyway… He asked if we would meet him in the hall after dinner tonight."
"Why?" Naruto asked with the demeanour of an eight year old.
"How should I know! If you read your own letter and didn't ask me such childish questions all the time," Sasuke was now storming into his room, "Then maybe you would know! Idiot!" Sasuke's door was slammed shut, leaving a very disgruntled and unhappy Naruto, in his pants, with muffin smudged on him.
"Right Naruto, going for the Har-Mar Superstar look then?" He asked himself, before walking into the bedroom opposite to Sasuke's.
XXXXX
As it was now the Christmas holidays, students were filling out of Hogwarts in a thick line of eagerness. Everyone Harry knew, apart from Draco, were going home, due to parents and family members desperate to see there children, because of the oncoming war.
Harry had decided that it was the only time he was going get peace, before Easter holidays, and so went to lunch to try and get a decent meal in.
On arrival at the Great Hall, he was surprised to see how little students were left at Hogwarts. A few Hufflepuff's, several Ravenclaw's, no Slytherin's, apart from Draco and three, what Harry guessed, first year Gryffindor's.
It was sad to see the Great Hall so empty, especially as he hadn't been down that side of the castle for about two months. The lack of students left an empty feeling in the air, because this also left a lack of magic, and was similar to the feeling Harry usually felt as he returned to the Dursley's. It was for the first 2 years a shock to return to Hogwarts and be greeted by a rush of magic, but this added to the fact that Harry honestly believed he would never be at home, anywhere. And even if he did make it that far in life, excusing the fact that the Dark Lord may just kill Harry when the time comes, how would he cope? He knew deep inside his life wouldn't last long, and terms had been met, deep inside his mind.
Harry sat down at one of the tables, unaware of anything going on around him. Most students had chosen to sit at the top end, by the teachers table, however Harry didn't need the protection of the teachers, he needed something stronger that, and so he chose to sit at the far end.
"May I join you?" Came the familiar voice he had listened to chatter the previous day. Harry looked up, trying his best to feign a, 'I don't know what happened yesterday because nothing did,' attitude.
"I guess," He shrugged, "Free world!"
"That's untrue and you know it, Potter." Draco said as if no pages in any book were turned, to cause even the tiniest of breezes in his mind. Yes, cynicism came naturally to him.
"How so?" Harry said, a little off guard.
"We learn for such a long time in out life's, to get into a job we hate, we do something 'wrong' then we are better off pigs meat, ect. Look at my father for example? He only, originally, wanted to better himself for his family's benefits. Worked his hands to the bone all his life, and now he hasn't even got a soul." Draco said as he started to sit, all the while never batting an eyelid, completely rehearsed in what he was saying.
"Ok, so it isn't a free world, but you can sit there if you must," Harry said, slightly ruffled. Harry didn't like it, Draco was too calm.
"Are you ok? Harry, I mean… you look kind of, spaced." Draco said, looking round Harry's face with the utmost concern.
"Yeah, are you? You look gaunt and sick! Winter getting to you?" Harry said, smiling wickedly.
"Yeah… Winter…eh, Harry? You know those two exchange students?"
"Yeah, know of them why?"
"Dunno, just both really weird. I don't like them," Draco stated, sticking his nose in the air as he had done too many times to count, "They have secrets, deep dark secrets!"
"Don't we all?" Harry said, reminiscing on his earlier behaviour.
"Yeah, I guess." Was all Draco could say.
XXXXXX
Lunch was eaten quickly, Harry not noticing the little amount of food Draco had let pass his lips, and Draco not noticing the smell of 'Mort Fire' coming from Harry's goblet.
It would have been hard for Draco, seeing as the smell of food would overcome him, begging him to gobble every single mouthful, savour every little bite. However the resistance took up so much energy that eventually the food and food alone became his primary battle, the one thing taking up every single sense he had.
Yes, he watched his food, to see how much was eaten, to see how much he could eat before it became restricting, to see the plate become clearer.
And for Harry, his eyes had become so unfocused that noticing the small amount of food eaten by Draco would have been impossible. And if by some chance he had seen it, he wouldn't have registered it for the forks were too shiny.
XXXX
After lunch, both boys began walking back towards there rooms. Harry found it incredibly difficult to concentrate, seeing as the alcohol was beginning to fade and he was using all his focus to hold on to one little piece of intoxication.
One fact seemed to swarm the brunette's mind, 'It's affecting your liver more than your senses. Problem. Problem. Alcoholi-' Harry shook his head before he could gain hold of the fact, and it floated out of his head like water through a tube.
Draco noticed this and frowned, "What are you doing Potter?" He shook his head very slightly, letting his hair that was nearly below his shoulders sway sweetly.
"Nothing, nothing… Hey, why are you walking this way?" Harry asked, now conscience of there surroundings, as they were about 10 steps from each boys room.
"I live up here now!" Draco said, with the biggest of smiles.
"Yeah? Let me see your room!" Harry said, racing in the completely opposite direction of Draco's room.
"It's this way, idiot." Draco said, pointing towards the painting, in which the skinny young man from the Weird Sisters was dancing.
"No. No way. You have, the Weird Sisters as your entrance? No way…" Harry Trailed off, admiring the painting.
"Yep…" Draco answered, before whispering the password.
Both boys clambered into Draco's room, and Harry immediately dove for the Bass.
"No fucking way man!" Harry screamed, more excitable than a child with sugar abuse, "Dumbledore?" He asked.
"Yeah, I have no idea why he would fit me with a bass, but… it's Dumbledore eh?" Draco asked, staring round his room, avoiding eye contact with Harry.
"Yeah…yeah..." Harry almost whispered, whilst in complete awe of the perfection in front of him.
"I think one of those Chinese kids play drums," Draco said half interested, half bored, "I saw him with his sticks."
"Japanese Draco," Harry corrected, whilst looking at the blonde who was still standing, as Harry was on the end of the bed, "Japanese! And yeah, they sleep down the hall, I know one of them have drums. Terrible at silencing spells those two…"
Draco smiled, and sat down. His legs got tired after a while of standing up because of the fading muscle.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Harry running his hands over the bass as if stroking a cat.
Draco was staring with a fixed expression at Harry's hands, before his eyes widened, "You paint your nails Potter?" It was true, remnants of black nail polish was still chipped on his fingers, from a few weeks previous.
"Yeah, so what?" Harry asked, slightly offended.
Draco lifted Harry's hand to his face, peering at them. "Not very nice, chipped nail polish…" He slid out.
Harry lifted his focus to Draco's eyes, which looked back at him. Harry smiled, obviously not bothered at the lack of decent nails. In fact he liked the chipped look, less girly in his opinion.
"Draco…" Harry said quietly.
"Yeah?" Draco asked, eyebrows slightly raised.
"Yesterday, what was that about… before you left?" Harry responded softly.
"Well… I…Oh, Harry," Draco was blushing, and it showed against his very pale, worn cheeks. "I…I never kissed anyone before and I wanted to see what its like." Draco lied, he had kissed people, many in fact. Only at Slytherin Parties whilst spin-the-mort-fire bottle game went on.
"Oh…" Harry felt slightly disappointed.
"Oh what Potter?" Draco asked with a little venom in his voice.
"Nothing… nothing." Harry replied.
"Well what Potter, obviously something other wise you wouldn't have given that silly little disappointed 'oh'."
"Who said I was disappointed?" Harry's heart began racing. 'Shit, alcohol affects beginning to rise' he thought.
"Nothing Potter." Draco mocked.
"No tell me, why do you think I was disappointed?" Harry began to stand up but Draco pulled him down.
"Just shut up Potter, or one of us will end up leaving again."
"No Draco, I want to know why you fancy me! What about me is appealing to anyone, except this stupid mask of fame, that has given me more bad than good." Harry was fuming now, he could feel this pent up anger rising inside of him.
"Who, on this planet thinks that me, this scrawny four eyed, scarred boy, is attractive?" At that point Harry threw off his glasses and let them smash on the floor.
"I mean it, I am nothing to be desired." Harry rubbed his eyes, and Draco just sat, watching, understanding the pain but getting rather annoyed at Harry's assumption that Draco had bad taste.
"So, I haven't got a good taste in my men then, Potter?" Draco drawled his eye focus on Harry unmoving.
"Yes!"
"Well that's rubbish, for fucks sake. Cant you see how gorgeous you are every time you look in the mirror?"
Harry stood, against Draco's try's to pull him back down. He turned to face Draco, his back to the door, "Jesus, don't lie to me! I hate it, I really do!"
Draco stood; mad at the name he was just called. "A liar, Potter?"
"Yes!" Harry shouted.
Draco was moving swiftly towards Harry, who was pinned against the door, hand desperately trying to reach the handle.
"Cant you see it? The admirers? The attention? Not just for your mind or fame Harry, but for your looks? You are beautiful… the way you used to glide across that Quidditch pitch… before you gave it up." Draco was close now, very close. "Honestly, what are you Potter? Attention seeker? You don't even have to do anything to be beautiful. It's sickening. Cant you feel it, in your heart Harry?" Draco placed his hand over Harry's quivering chest.
"Cant you see it?"
"No," Harry muttered, before Draco's mouth came to cover his own. Harry pulled away, just as Draco did, the kiss only having lasted a mere few seconds.
"You, taste of Alcohol!" Draco spat, wiping his mouth.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Darling Draco the wonderful. Should I make it minty fresh for you?" Harry sneered before his voice dropped a few subtle notes into 'tone-angry', "Or do you want to violate my space again, for kissing me… a straight guy?"
"That's not the point right now!" Draco had backed away substantially, "You fucking reek of the stuff, and its only one-thirty in the afternoon. What are you doing drinking so early?"
"Does it matter?" Harry pushed out, running his hands through his hair.
"Yes! Of course it does!" Draco shouted.
"Why, master of such fucking greatness?" Harry did a little skip.
"Because it means your alcoholic!" The Slytherin shrieked.
"Whatever Draco, you know nothing about me!"
"I know an alcoholic when I smell fresh alcohol on there breath at one-thirty in the afternoon… and its not a social event!" Draco turned away, unable to look at the distraught look on the dark haired boy in front of him.
"Fine, I shall leave your highnesses quarters… get back to your perfect world then!"
Harry turned to leave, again. "No…"
"Why not Malfoy? What's the problem with me leaving now?" Harry said this with more desperation, to having being made to face up to reality.
"Because if you leave now, then you walk away from your problems."
"You're my problem Malfoy…"
"Yes, but at least I'm not killing you, like the alcohol will. Even though killing you is against my best intentions!"
"Fuck off…"
"No, it's my room Potter." Draco radiated.
"Fine… I wi-"
"NO!" Draco screeched.
"Well what am I supposed to do?"
Draco moved a little closer, his eyes stuck on Harry's once again. He smiled, his facial expressions softening, and Harry once again backed away.
"Just kiss me then…"
"What?" Harry stuttered slightly.
Draco was closer now, "Kiss me… at least with me your safe!" He began to push Harry against the wall.
"I said… I said…" Harry was nervous, "I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" And that was when Harry launched the first punch, which landed right in the middle of Draco's neck.
Draco stumbled back, shocked at the violent outbreak, but his courage and dignity was soon recovered and he went for Harry with such force, that as his pounce landed on Harry, they both crashed to the ground and began to try to gain the upper hand of the fight.
Punch after punch was thrown, all aims were forgotten; they were both desperate to loose each ounce of anger as quickly as possible.
"Fuck you Malfoy…" Harry said through struggling to pin Draco to the floor.
"Any day…" This earned Draco another punch, somewhere on his body.
And Harry did earn the upper hand, as he soon had Draco pinned tightly beneath him.
"You are an arsehole!" Harry said breathlessly.
"Yes, but you are a drunk, at least I'm charming when I am arsehole!" Draco smirked, which made Harry push him into the stone floor more.
"I. Am. Not. A. Drunk!" Harry's angry face came closer to Draco's, his slightly unfocused eyes trying to search for the blonde's weaknesses.
"Ok, so you're not a drunk, but you have a problem…"
"Shut up!"
"No!"
"Why not…" Raised eyebrows.
"Because I hate the silence between us." The answer was simple.
"Kissing me made me silent…" It was simply stated.
"No… because then your body was talking…"
"How?" Harry began to get confused.
"Because, when I kissed you, your body reacted and I can feel it."
"I am not gay, Malfoy."
"So? You liked those little moments didn't you? To be thoughtless, and wanted, and needed. You like it because you knew that those few seconds meant you were safe, from judgement and unkindness." Draco looked deep and soft at Harry, trying to gain an understanding on the way the dark haired boy was looking at him.
Yes, Harry had stopped staring, and his gaze now let Draco that truth was being told.
"And not only that. It meant you weren't so alone, in just those few seconds," Draco smiled, "One thing we have in common, Harry. We both hate being alone."
Harry's stomach was violent with adrenalin, he felt compelled to do something, anything, he was hyper with something he didn't quite understand, "Well lets not be so alone then…"
And he leaned into Draco, and kissed him, as angel would a lover. Draco quickly responded, pulling out of Harry's now not so tight grip, and running his hands over the boys' back, in a way that made him tingle.
The kiss deepened, and Harry rolled off of Draco, and onto the cold of the floor. He winced noticeably, and Draco stood, and pulled Harry towards his bed.
Harry stood in front of him for a few minutes, unsure of going on, but the beauty and recklessness of the blonde compelled him too.
He pulled off his clothes and did the same to the blonde, slowly, sensually, heightening all feeling. They kissed a few more times, before Harry stood up and got under the covers, greeted by kisses and touches from the now very excited blonde.
XXXXXX
Each slow rhythmic movement from Harry was bringing Draco the edge of sanity. They both felt there bodies threatening to orgasm, the affects were eyes tightly shut and quivering in every direction.
Ecstasy, that's how Harry felt and as he moved slow and sensually, Draco felt love on a level never felt by him before. Melva was right, he needed him, and he needed this feeling.
Draco held Harry close, wanting this feeling to last forever, this first touch, this first time.
He had cracked Harry, and Harry and cracked him.
"You're so beautiful Harry…" Draco whispered, and Harry caught his mouth in a kiss, before replying the same.
Draco stared at Harry, noticing beads of sweat and teeth marks all over the Brunette's body. He stared; he couldn't help but stare at the form that was so sweetly making love to the him. And he wanted it, for the first time ever, he wanted to be doing this. His body, his senses, his mind, they all wanted one thing; Harry.
"I…I'm coming…" Harry moaned, and the words seemed to sink Draco into euphoria, as he too came with the Brunette.
XXXXX
Breathless, both boys held each other tightly, relishing in the headiness that came after sex. The tingling feeling from there first escapade had not yet subsided, and neither boy had regained sensible thinking.
Draco's mind and heart was going a million miles per hour, as he imagined him and Harry, together in bed again, openly together, holding hands, kissing between class, holding each other at night.
Harry was slowly losing his satisfaction, and was replacing it with guilt, for he knew he had to leave, soon. What had he done? Because just as a song fades, so did Harry's feelings.
However he didn't want to be rude. Any opportunity to leave, any, and he would take it. But not until the opportunity arouse would he walk out on the blonde.
"I'm hungry," Draco said breathlessly.
Harry's ears pricked up, "Ill go get you food," He said eagerly.
Draco smiled, was Harry really willing to get him food, to fill the empty shell in front of him? But he didn't want that, he would so much rather fall asleep in the arms of an ex-rival. "No, no, don't worry, just stay here!"
"No, its ok, I know where to go." Harry began to get up, but Draco just pulled him down, once again. "No! I… its no problem."
Draco smiled; happy he wanted to do that for him, so he let Harry get dressed and begin to walk out of the door.
"How are you going to be able to see?" Draco asked, as he remembered the smashed glasses.
"Oculus Repairum." Harry said whilst looking at the mess on the floor.
His glasses mended themselves quickly, and he picked them up and placed them on his face, "Wandless Magic?" Draco gasped.
But Harry had already left the room.
XXXXXX
Draco stayed in bed, awaiting the return of Harry with a demeanour of much anxiousness, and sat up excitedly when the portrait hole slowly opened.
"Didn't know you knew my password Potter." Draco sneered sexily, however he quickly changed his attitude when a small but confident house elf strode in.
"I'm sorry sir; Mr. Potter is indisposed at the moment, but asked me to bring you these." And with that, the house elf quickly shot out of the room.
Hovering in the air was a tray the contained sandwiches and a glass of apple juice, "Accio tray!" Draco demanded, slightly displeased with Harry and the impolite elf.
The tray floated over and placed itself graciously on the bed next to Draco, where Harry had laid a while previously, "Compensating yourself with food now are we?" Draco asked to his absent lover.
The sandwiches were Draco's favourite, chicken and pumpkin seed, and he waffled them eagerly and the apple juice went down in much favour, because it reminded him as a child, on a lazy summer's day with Melva.
And Draco ate, so glad to be refuelling his body properly for the first time in weeks, the food being a lot better to run on than the power potions he had so greedily made and consumed, just to get through, even on the brink of death.
But now he had a reason to live… Harry, and so the sandwiches were eaten with no thought as to making himself sick, once again, after eating.
When Draco finished the last bite, he saw the note place under the plate. He opened it, knowing full well it was from Harry, and he smirked inside at the thought of an apology for not being there.
However, reality has a way of being very cruel.
