"Grey said you wanted ta talk to me?" Jess stepped out from the dining hall doorway and into the courtyard. Willow waited on the grass, a dark red robe shrouding her in shadow.

            "I thought it was time. We've had, what, two weeks since I walked through your, um, walkthrough? Things are jumbled, and that's no good. Plus, Grey's kinda nervous, since nobody's speaking to anybody but him and it's making him nuts."

            "I noticed."

            "Good. So," she paused awkwardly, drawing the syllable out, "here we are. Talking. Which is of the good."

            Jess cocked an eyebrow. "You wanna talk about the other night?"

            "No, but we kinda have to, don't we?"

            "I s'pose we do." She looked the redhead in the eye. "Willow, I would never do those things to Grey. Never again, I guess."

            "Hey, listen, I'm calm Willow about it now. I know you wouldn't on purpose, I mean unless you get mind-controlled again, which, okay, pretty unlikely."

            "But possible."

            "It's possible you'll get turned to the Dark Side again, yeah. But you won't hurt Grey like that ever again."

            "I … I could."

            "No," Willow said firmly, "you couldn't. I won't let you. And we both know who's more powerful." The last sentence came out with a hint of menace.

            "Promise me."

            "What?"

            "Promise me if it happens again, you'll take me out before I get near him."

            "I promise. You won't touch him."

            Jess sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see that. Not one o' my finer moments, I'll tell you."

            The image of Dawn clutching her broken arm flashed in Willow's mind. "Magic can do that. I'm sorry I freaked on you."

            "Don't be," Jess said with a shake of her head. "I'm glad you did. It shows how deeply you love him. He deserves that."

            "I-I know you're still in love with him, too."

            "Don't worry about that. I think I finally realized …" She trailed off, trying to figure out the right phrasing.

            "What?"

            "He's yours. Forever. Not that I would try an' get between you, 'cos I wouldn't, but it would be pointless."

            "Oh." Willow felt a warm tingle inside. Jess knew him as well as anyone; if she said that, it had to be true. Not that I didn't know it, Willow thought, but confirmation is nice. "Well that's good … though not for you."

            "Actually, I feel a little more okay with it since … well, since we saw what we saw. I still miss him, but I want him to be happy. I guess I never believed he would come back to me, and after seein' that again … I get why."

            "Yeah. I am sorry it's so hard."

            Jess shrugged. "It is what it is."

They stared at one another awkwardly for a few moments.

"So I didn't really come out here to talk about that, though. I mean, I'm glad we are, I don't want things all ugly between you and me, since y'know you're kinda Grey's best friend and all. I sorta hoped that we could discuss something else … if you don't mind?"

            "What?"

            "Tara."

            Jess visibly stiffened. "What about Tara?"

            "Well, it's none of my business, I know…"

            "You're right. It isn't." Jess started to walk back into the dining hall, but Willow grabbed her arm.

            "Hey, stop. Okay, I said it's not my business, but I didn't mean it. Tara's my friend, lady, and you're gonna listen to me whether you want to or not, even if I have to whip up a spell to pin you down over here."

            "Willow, I really don't want to talk about Tara."

            "Tough noogies. We're talking." Willow put on her resolve face.

            "Tough noogies?" Jess couldn't help herself. She started laughing.

            "Hey! I'm being serious."

            "Tough noogies? That's hurtin' the gravity of your convictions, hon. Big time hurtin' 'em." She kept laughing, but didn't walk away.

            "You and Tara haven't said boo to each other in weeks. She's miserable and she won't talk to me about it. I wanna know what's going on."

            Jess sat down heavily on one of the stone steps. "D'you ever wish you smoked? 'Cos right now, I really do. Grey has this book, I forget which one, one o' the mysteries, and there's a line in there that goes somethin' like, 'not smoking gains in the area of bein' healthy, but loses a lot in the area of dramatic gestures.' I could use one right now."

            "A cigarette?"

            "A dramatic gesture." She sighed. "Tara an' I aren't talkin', it's true."

            "Duh. Why not?"

            "It's … complicated. Sort of. I dunno. I guess 'cause I'm not talkin' to her." A maelstrom of thoughts had passed through Jess's head since she left Tara's room. She couldn't talk to anyone about them, not even Grey, because she didn't know anyone who might understand.

            Except Willow.

            But she and the redhead hadn't ever been on the best of terms. An' even now, this is a wee bit personal to be droppin' on a girl ya hardly know, she thought.

            "You have to promise me that this stays here, with us. You can't go tellin' Tara any of it, or even that we talked. Otherwise, I won't say anythin'."

            "You want me to lie? To Tara? 'Cuz I'm really not so good at that."

            "Just don't bring it up. You said she wasn't talkin' about me."

            "I'm not so good at that, either. Really. I'm not trying to … I'd like to help, but I don't want to accidentally mush everything up."

            "We're not talkin'. It's pretty well mushed, yeah?"

            "Oh. Good point."

            "So, will you not tell? Even if she figures somethin's goin' on?"

            "Alright. My lips are sealed." Willow paused for a second. "Except they aren't, because I couldn't breathe if they were. But I won't say that stuff."

            Jess laughed. She could see why Grey liked this girl. "Alright, then." She turned serious again. "Can I ask a personal question?"

            "Umm, I thought we were talking about you?"

            "We are. Can I?"

            "Okay?"

            "The first time you kissed Tara, how did it happen?"

            Willow's eyes went wide. "Whoa. That is personal. Um… well … it just sort of happened. We were in her room, messing with this aura reading spell, and we messed it up a little, and then I kinda fell over on top of her, and it … well, y'know, it happened."

            "Did the room get all still, like when you're about to kiss a boy for the first time?"

            "Uh, well … the first time I kissed Oz, the room didn't go all still. Of course, we were outside, and I kinda did it on the run. With Xander and Tara … yeah, it was sort of like that. Like the room suddenly zoomed in on us. Grey and I had a moment like that, too, but we didn't kiss. Wait … did you and Tara kiss?"

            Jess shook her head, refusing to look at Willow.

            "Then why did you ask?"

            "I … I went to her room after I left Grey's. On the day of the magic lesson?" Willow nodded. "I was really upset, but she hugged me and made me feel so much better, and then I realized how close we were, and … zoom. It was like the room froze."

            "And then?"

            "I freaked. Took off. Haven't spoken ten words to her since."

            "What does that have to do with kissing anyone?"

            "If she had been a boy … I would have kissed her."

            "Oh. But she's not a boy."

            "An' I didn't kiss her."

            "Did you want to?"

            "Honest? I don't know. Which is a little weird for someone whose answer should be no."

            Willow took a few seconds to gather her thoughts, trying to remember how she had felt about kissing Tara. Mostly she had been nervous; Jess seemed more mixed up than that, and she wanted to steer her towards Tara carefully.

            "Why are you ambivalent?"

            Jess looked at her hands. "Once again, needin' the dramatic gesture. I guess … I mean, I like boys. No problem with 'em. Definitely satisfied by 'em. At least the one I've been with." Willow gulped. "I'm sorry, is this … too much?"

            "No no no, I want to help you. It's just a little weird for me. Keep going, though, because I understand where you're at. Really, I do," she said with a half-smile. "It's confusing."

            "Yeah. Tell me about it. So anyway, I was happy where I was at. Then here comes Tara, an' we're great friends. I had a lot o' fun with her this summer, an' I know she's got the lesbian thing happenin', which is cool with me. I didn't really think much about it, ta tell you the truth. I was havin' a good time with her, an' she's a good person."

            "She's amazing," Willow agreed.

            "I guess I knew she wanted me, even though she never said it. You can always tell, y'know? But I ignored it, 'cos I was thinkin' about Grey, an' she spent all summer talkin' to me about that, helpin' me deal with it."

            "What does Grey think about this?"

            "I don't know," Jess said ruefully, "I haven't asked him."

            "Maybe you should. He knows you pretty well."

            "Nah, that would be too weird. For everyone, me included. I also don't wanna … I don't have a whole lot else goin' on now, romance-wise. Tara and I're on the way to being great friends – I don't want to screw that up when I don't even know what's goin' on in my own head." Jess looked up at her and frowned. "Everything got all arseways pretty quick, dinnit?"

            "Uh huh," Willow said, chewing on a stray strand of her hair as she thought it out.. "So you want, what, some sage-like advice? Keeping in mind that sage-like and Willow are two concepts where the twain don't much meet."

            "That's not what Grey says. But yeah, please?"

            "Okay … I think you should just be her friend and see what happens. If that's what you're looking for, and I know how it might or might not be, since I've been known to catch the alternative lifestyle train myself, but anyway … if it's what you're looking for, it'll just happen. It did for me and Tara, and believe me I wasn't looking that way. If it's not, you'll stay good friends." The redhead shrugged, thinking of Xander. "I've been there, too."

            "So ya want me to jus' wander up to her and say 'Hey' after avoiding her for two weeks?"

            "Ummm … yeah?" Willow said with a few rapid nods.

            Jess shook her head, wishing one last time that she had a cigarette to flick into the distance.

            The knock brought Tara out of her grading reverie.

            "It's open," she called, laying her pen down in the middle of the stack of essays.

            Jess stepped through the door, her face creased with anxiety. "Hey."

            "H-hey."

            "Okay if I come in?" Tara nodded; Jess stepped further into the room. "Been awhile, huh?"

            "Y-yeah, w-well we've been busy with stuff. Class stuff."

            "I heard you an' Willow have your big teaching display next week."

Tara smiled tentatively, "Uh huh. Giles wants us to show it to all the houses at once, so W-will and I have been working pretty hard. Y-you?"

            "Ah, the usual. Dumbledore and I've been sifting my memories, tryin' to get a line on Voldemort's location."

            "No luck?"

            "None. I'm startin' to think he somehow bound that knowledge to the spell Willow broke in my head las' spring."

            "I've never heard of that."

            Jess shrugged, "Me either, but that guy can do things no one else's even thought of. I wouldn't be surprised."

            "Th-that wouldn't be good."

            "No." The conversation flagged and Jess started edging for the door. "So, listen, I know you've got lots to grade. All the Gryfs are up in arms. I'll leave you to it, I guess."

            As she reached for the door knob, Tara called out, "W-wait, Jess, it's o-okay. I'm almost done. I w-wanted to talk to you, anyway."

            "You did?"

            Tara took a deep breath. She had been rehearsing this all week, and spoke slowly to avoid stuttering. "Uh huh. About the other day. I … I hope you're not mad at me."

            "Mad? Why would I be mad? I'm the one who waltzed out without any sort o' explainin' an' then avoided you completely."

            "I think the a-avoiding was a little more mutual than that. I just wasn't … amn't? aren't? … sure what I did and I didn't want to make things worse."

            Jess looked her in the eye. She knew what Tara assumed had prompted her to leave, and she wasn't wrong. Despite that, Jess wasn't ready to deal with it. She also didn't want to make a mistake and sever things with Tara. She knew how skittish the girl could be, and how confused she was herself.

            So she stalled.

            "You didn't do anything, hon. Honest. I was just really embarrassed by the whole thing and … ashamed, I guess. That stuff I did doesn't sit too well, as you probably guessed."

            "I can imagine," Tara said with a nod, relieved that the moment she had felt between them had only been on her end. She hated the thought of scaring Jess off with her feelings, even if it was now pretty obvious that Tara had no chance of winning her heart. Better to be her friend, Tara thought, than to lose her altogether. "Y-you don't have to be embarrassed, though. Everybody's probably told you this, but it wasn't your fault."

            "Maybe. Maybe not. It was my fault that we stopped talkin', though. I'm sorry for that."

            "It's okay. Just, in the future?" Jess nodded. "Remember that I'm your friend, and you don't need to be embarrassed about that stuff. I kn-know what you did. It doesn't matter. I'm your friend regardless."

            "That's … Tara, thanks." Jess smiled. "I don't know what else to say."

            The blonde girl smiled back.

            "Don't say anything, j-just as l-long as you don't forget."