Spoilers: Post 1x18, Weapons of Class Destruction.
A/N: This story would not leave me alone. It threatened and tortured me for hours until I caved. Here ya go, my first Veronica Mars fanfic. Please let me know if you notice and excruciating errors or if you think the anyone is horrible out of character. There may or may not be a sequel to this...depends on the inspiration to write and what happens in next week's episode. Oh, and italics denotes Veronica's voice overs.
Veronica tossed and turned in her bed, the swishing of her water bed causing her momentary sea sickness. She turned her head to glance at the clock, and sighed as she read the glowing digital numbers. Smoothing her hair back into a sloppy ponytail with her scrunchie from the night stand, she slid out of bed and slipped on her robe. Veronica padded silently down the hallway, and into the kitchen. Heading for the fridge, she sighed again.
That's the problem with having been kissed by your dead best friend's ex-boyfriend while having a current boyfriend at the same time, while simultaneously having your ex-boyfriend/possible half-brother/suspected murderer skip town. It wasn't good for the sleepin'.
She snorted, opened the freezer, and raised her hand to grab the ice cream. Veronica paused, hearing a noise from the porch. Setting the ice cream on the counter, she slowly and quietly picked up one of the larger steak knives out of the rack. Turning towards the front door, she inhaled sharply as a shadow passed across the door. Remembering her father's famous visit from Clarence Weidman, she reached the door, and flung it open, screaming like a banshee and waving the knife. A male voice screamed in reply, and jumped backward.
It took her a second to realized that her visitor was talking to her and not trying to kill her or whatever.
"Woah, Veronica!" Logan exclaimed, shocked by the petite's blonde's abrupt arrival on the porch. He took in her disheveled appearance and the steak knife, and kept talking. "It's me, Ronnie." He said, meeting her equally surprised gaze. The knife lowered as they stared at each other. What had happened between them the day before...she looked away as if remembering it too, and he smirked.
"Damn it Logan!" She exclaimed. "What are doing here? Veronica asked, her tone softer.
"Couldn't sleep...had no where else to go." Logan answered, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking at her sheepishly. She was torn. Sending him away was the rational thing, considering the hour and yesterday's events. She saw something in his eyes...and couldn't quite bring herself to make him leave. Silently she headed back inside, leaving the door open for him to follow. He did so slowly, shutting the door behind him, taking in her apartment as he followed her into the kitchen. She slid the knife back into it's holder and took two spoons from the silverware drawer. Wordlessly, she offered one to him, and opened the previously abandoned carton of ice cream.
"Where's your dad?" Logan asked, dipping his spoon into the carton. He didn't want to come face to face with Keith Mars. Trying to explain why he was visiting with the man's daughter in the middle of the night while she was wearing her pajamas would not be the ideal situation. A surprised look crossed her face.
"Duncan's parents came by earlier." She replied. He stared at her. "I know. They want us...my dad to find Duncan. He's following a lead."
"Does he know where he is?" Logan's tone was full of hope. She knew that after losing Lilly and his mom, Logan needed Duncan.
"Maybe." Veronica answered. He gave her a look. She sighed. "Yesterday, Meg and Duncan sat with me at lunch. Duncan was angry...about me working on Lilly's murder and my files...but I didn't know that then." Her tone was pointed, and he had the good grace to look a little chagrined. "Meg asked about some cases Dad and I are working and I mentioned one where this guy withdrew ten grand and hightailed it to Mexico." She met his gaze slowly, using the spoon to move ice cream around in the carton.
"Duncan took 10 thousand out of the bank, didn't he?" Logan confirmed. She nodded. He looked at her carefully, before reaching out a hand and setting it on top of hers. She pulled away as if she'd been burned. "You didn't know he would actually do that, Ronnie." Logan tried awkwardly to offer some comfort.
"It's Veronica." She reprimanded distractedly, not looking at him.
"You've avoided me pretty well." He threw out there. She glanced up at him.
"Logan...It's not you." She started what promised to be a really awkward conversation.
"It's not?" He asked, traces of his vulnerability showing. He hated that he couldn't hide it from her, and at the same time, was amazed that he felt comfortable enough with her to let it show.
"No, It's Leo." She replied.
"Aw, the deputy who so gallantly ignored my underage drinking." He snarked. A half smile crossed her face.
"The very same." She said. "He's my boyfriend."
"That's crap, and you know it." Logan practically exclaimed, making her jump. He moved around the bar counter to stand in front of her. She moved backward reflexively.
"That's not crap, Logan. He's my boyfriend!" Veronica defended herself.
"You kissed me back." He said, his tone changing as he stared at her.
"What?" She replied, suddenly nervous and unable to look away.
"You kissed me back. If you're so into this Deputy Leo, then why did you kiss me back?" He demanded.
"I d...don't know." She stammered, as he moved closer still.
"Like I said...that's crap." He told her. He stared into her eyes for a moment, and Veronica felt his gaze down into her soul. Damn.
She stopped thinking the moment his lips met hers.
It was every bit a searing and shocking as it had been the day before. She couldn't keep herself from responding, forgetting about everything for a moment. Leo...Duncan...Lilly.
Lilly.
She practically jumped out of his arms, and she couldn't meet his eyes. His questioning and confused gaze still penetrated, even though she wasn't looking. Logan moved to pull her back into his arms, and she jumped backward to avoid him.
"Why don't you tell me what this is really about." He said, looking at her.
"It's about Lilly." Her voice was whisper quiet. "It's about how you've hated me since she died...since I sided with my dad, and not you."
"I don't hate you." His voice was even quieter than hers.
"Then why would you...God, Logan, you started all those horrible rumors about me, and you took a tire iron to my car. What else am I supposed to think?"
"I was angry." Logan shuffled his feet.
"Clearly." She replied, an edge in her tone.
I'm so confused. What the hell is wrong with me?
"I took my anger out on you...maybe even blamed you for it...but I wasn't angry at you." He hesitatingly explained.
"You coulda fooled me, Logan." She snapped. She sighed. "Look, I've a right to know why you took it out on me. Who were you really angry at?" Veronica stared at him expectantly. He didn't answer. She glared at him.
"Lilly, all right!" Logan exclaimed. Her mouth was gaping open. Logan was angry with Lilly? "She just...she died and she left me alone. Once she was gone, there was no one." He said, his despair apparent. His eyes met hers again. "Why did she leave me?" He asked.
"She didn't want to leave you, Logan." Veronica was near tears. "She didn't want to leave any of us. It's why I have to find out who really killed her."
"I get that now." He told her. "Beyond that...I think Lilly would be...happy for us...Where ever she is, she'd be happy to see us together."
"Is that what you want?" Veronica asked. She pinched her arm. Ouch. I'm not dreaming. Logan Echolls really just told me that Lilly would want us to be together. Nine months ago we couldn't be in the same room together, but now...
Her answer was a kiss. Veronica broke it off a second time.
"You've got to stop doing that." She sputtered, looking up at him.
"Why?" He asked, with a bit of a smirk. Because I can't think when you do that. She couldn't say that out loud, but it seemed that no answer was required as he kept talking. "There's just something about you, Veronica Mars." He said, smiling. "You've gotten under my skin, Ronnie." His tone was soft. He pulled her back into his embrace.
What does a girl say to something like that?
"It's Veronica." She replied somewhat dazed. He smiled again, and then kissed her lightly.
"Ronnie." It was a playful, insistent whisper.
"Veron..." He cut her off with another kiss, this one deep and intense. She didn't notice when her robe puddled on the floor around her feet, but when Logan's hand became fascinated with the exposed midriff her camisole top didn't cover, fear washed over her like someone had dumped a bucket of ice cold water on her head. She tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let her this time. His mouth left heres, and settled in the crook of her neck. "Logan...Logan, stop." Veronica said, gently trying to separate herself from him. He didn't seem to hear her. "Logan, Stop!" She exclaimed louder, pushing him away roughly. He looked confused, and she didn't blame him.
How do I tell him? Tell him that kissing is ok, but anything more than that is likely to send me into a catatonic tailspin? That even though I don't remember the night some one stole what was left of my innocence, I can't bear the thought of any one...How do I tell him that someone raped me?
She heard him inhale loudly, and met his gaze. Petrified, she realized that her normally internal monologue had just become dialogue. Damn. She'd said that out loud.
It was a moment before either of them could speak.
"Please don't tell anyone." She whispered, ashamed that someone knew her terrible secret.
"No, I won't..." He assured her. "Why..." Logan paused. "Why didn't you report it?"
"You mean take my walk of shame down to the police station, and ask the newly appointed Sheriff to find out who..." Her voice cracked, and she looked up at Logan, tears in her eyes. "I did." She took a shaky breath. "He told me to go see the Wizard."
She jumped when Logan punched the wall, leaving a small hole. He waved his sore hand for a second as she stared at him. Shaking her head, she reached into the freezer and took out an ice pack. Taking his sore hand silently, she pressed the ice pack on it. She was so focused on ignoring her response to touching his hand that she almost missed it.
"I'm sorry." He said quietly, his eye finding hers again. She couldn't understand how he could break down all her carefully crafted walls with just a look. "The ice cream's melting." Logan changed the subject and she smiled gratefully. Leaving him to hold the ice pack on his own, she put the carton of ice cream back into the freezer, and picked her robe up from it's puddle on the floor.
"I should go." He said, setting the ice pack down on the counter. She nodded, and followed him to the door. He kissed her lightly, and then smiled. Opening the door, he crossed the threshold and turned back to her. "I'll see you tomorrow, Veronica."
"Ronnie." She replied, smiling back. His grin was nearly blinding. She watched as Logan disappeared into the shadows of night, and shut the door behind him. Sighing, she leaned against for a just a second.
What the hell had just happened here?
Shaking her head, Veronica walked back to her bedroom, and slipped back into bed. It was amazing how quickly sleep came this time.
