(A/N): XD; What is it… April now? (This is officially a post Easter fic! WOO!)

Kwaaah! I'm so sorry for taking so long to update:bowbow: …Truth be told, I just got so wrapped up with school work, personal matters, and whatnot, that I couldn't find the time to finish this! XD Then again, you guys don't wanna hear my pitiful excuses, ne?

Thank you to all reviewers! You have no idea how happy reviews make me!

Ahehehehehe… Uhm… y'know how I said last chapter that this was the finale?

…I lied… again. :dodges tomatoes:

I'm sorry… it's just that I'm constantly getting ideas for this…

…At this rate, this'll most likely be done by Christmas of this year… :bow: I'm terribly sorry!

Now for the officials! So I don't get sued! Tee hee!

Rating: T (for swearing, mild shounen-ai, and violence)
Setting: Pre-Gensoumaden Saiyuki

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki and- according to the law of probability- most likely never will. Phwee… Leave me and my fantasies aloooone!


Hakuryuu's First Christmas

Hakuryuu zipped around the clearing, chirping wildly at the exhilarating feeling that came with flight. Shifting his eyes, he spotted Vixen and Comet galloping through the air after him. The tiny dragon dipped, losing himself in the wind that hugged his body. The two reindeer followed suit, each taking a position on either side of the flight capable lizard. At fist, Hakuryuu wondered exactly how these animals could achieve flight, but quickly lost interest as the prospects of a race welled up in his mind. The reindeer seemed to share the same thought pattern as him, and gladly accepted his eager challenge to a friendly race.

Just ahead of him, Rudolph's red nose blinked, signaling the finish line. Instead of wasting energy flapping, Hakuryuu folded his wings closer to his body, making it as streamlined as possible, and used the momentum from his previous dive to carry him through the air and right past the crimson beacon.

Crimson? Hakuryuu's thoughts diverted to Gojyo. The man with an everlasting smirk. The man kind enough to allow Hakkai into his household after saving his life. Distracted, Hakuryuu forgot the part of flying in which one lands, preferably safely, on the ground. He barely had enough time to prevent himself from colliding headfirst into the sleigh. Turning too late, he rammed sideways into the sleigh's side, a sickening CRACK resonating through the air. He screeched in pain as he slumped to the ground, his wing bent at an odd angle.

Cupid, who was closest to Hakuryuu, trotted over to him, and nudged him gently with his snout. Hakuryuu let out a pained whimper, to which Cupid replied with another gentle nuzzle. The other reindeer soon huddled around the tiny dragon, trying to find ways to help him out of the snow, without inflicting anymore pain on him. However, they were all lacking in one such quality that would be very useful in a time like this.

Hands, plus opposable thumbs.

Because of their lack of hands and thumbs, the reindeer had to make due with their mouths and teeth. With a silent apology, Cupid lifted Hakuryuu off of the ground. Even though pain shot straight through his wing, and throughout his entire body, the dragon tried his very best not to wail. Donner, another one of the reindeer, placed a tiny pillow inside of the sleigh, on which Hakuryuu was placed on. The red-eyed lizard chirped his thanks, even though his near shattered wing still throbbed rather painfully.

And I thought this was supposed to be a humor fic… Hakuryuu thought grimly. …Next time I do a gig for this author, I'm bringing a lawyer.

As Hakuryuu lay his aching head down, he slowly began to drift off to sleep, dreams of sugarplums-Wait a sec.

His tiny head popped up, a sudden thought striking him, the pain momentarily forgotten, What exactly IS a sugarplum? Is it a plum covered with sugar…? Is it candy…? Oh man… I could really go for some candy right now…

As if right on cue, Blitzen, another one of the reindeer, came by sporting a bag full of lollipops, marshmallows and candy canes. There wasn't any chocolate, as that was bad for Hakuryuu's delicate stomach, and would give him a terrible case of tummy troubles.

How did he- Hakuryuu's train of thought began…

I read your mind, silly! By the way, a sugar plum is a type of candy and we do have them here… but it has chocolate in it… sorry!-

…before veering off course to crash into the brick wall known as "HOLY CRAP!".


"Sanzo… I'm hun-"

THWACK!

"WAAAH! Sanzo! What was that for!" Goku sobbed as he clutched his now smarting head.

"For being such a loudmouth." Sanzo replied, putting his fan away who knows where.

"Sanzo… I've been meanin' to ask ya something…" Goku looked up at his keeper, curiosity written all over his youthful face.

"Go ahead…" Sanzo sighed. He had a pretty good idea as to what the brunette was about to ask and picked at his ear with his pinky in exasperation; an old habit he never seemed to be able to get rid of… probably because he was almost always exasperated. Ah well… at least it's not his nose.

"Where do you keep that fan! And your crown! And your glasses… and your gun… and-", Goku belted out in rapid succession, before Sanzo's hand flew up to silence him.

"If I tell you, do you promise to keep quiet?"

Goku nodded eagerly, and whimpered in delight as Sanzo bent to whisper his secret into his ear. The monkey king's golden eyes widened with enlightenment, "Woah… so every fan-girl theory is wrong!"

Sanzo smirked haughtily, "Yeah… as if those bimbos could ever figure it out."

"I dunno… some of them sounded pretty good…" Goku's head tilted to the side in thought, listing all of the theories he had heard over the years.

"…Whatever. Let's just find the stupid dragon." Sanzo trudged along once again, not waiting for Goku to finish his mental list.

"Wait! Sanzo!" Goku snapped out of his brain work and stumbled after the more-or-less Buddhist. "Don't leave me like that!" he breathed once he caught up with Sanzo. He clutched to his arm and squeezed it tight, his bright eyes gazing up at Sanzo with the loving emotion (that's the only way to describe what they felt for each other) they shared.

Sanzo started at the sign of sentiment, and peered into Goku's eyes for a few moments, before finally landing back in reality, "Get off!" he shook Goku off his arm and regained his composure. Any longer and the man may have actually started blushing! Gah, you'll get him next time, Goku! Don't give up! We're rooting for you!

Goku pouted, then sniffed the air. "Oi, Sanzo. I think I smell something…" the youth's nose twitched feverishly, "It smells like… like… like… like… like… li-"

THWACK!

"OW!"

Sanzo, ever the impatient one, walloped Goku over the head with his fan again. "You sound like a goddamn broken record!" he roared. "Just tell me what you smell, so we can get on with this already!"

Goku sniffed again, "Like… SUGARPLUMS!" If the monkey had a tail, it would wag. Probably so much that he'd take off… kind of like a helicopter. Hey! That's not a bad idea! A Goku-copter! Then they could just ride west on that instead of having Hakuryuu turn into the jeep. It would probably be much faster too!

"…What the hell is a sugarplum?" Sanzo asked the saru, his jaw nearly (key word: nearly) dropping in awe at the answer he received.

"Well, the sugarplum is a small candy made from a mélange, or concoction, of dried fruit and other flavorful, although totally optional, toppings such as powdered sugar, pistachios, chocolate or coconut. The original version is said to have come from Portugal, where fresh black figs and cooked green plums are used to create a similar treat. If refrigerated, the sugarplum can last up to a month, and they're very sturdy so you can mail 'em just about anywhere. The most common example of a sugarplum can be seen in "The Nutcracker" in the form of a sugarplum fairy, which were most likely named as such because of their love for sweets." Goku stated in a matter-of-factly tone, grinning the whole time.

"Goku?"

"Yes, Sanzo?"

"What's two plus two?"

"I dunno… why?"

"Nothing." Sanzo kept himself from sighing in relief. Nope, the monkey was not hiding any intelligence from him. He was just well informed in his number one favorite thing in the entire world: food.

Goku grasped Sanzo's wrist, his eyes twinkling, "Can we go get some? Huh, Sanzo?" he nearly begged as his grin ran from one ear to the other.

"No. This is obviously a GET BACK HERE!" Sanzo was about to tell Goku off for falling for something that could be a very obvious, very dangerous trap, but wound up chasing after the monkey instead as he took off without waiting for an answer. Catching up to Goku would prove to be hard work. His speed was remarkable to begin with, and when food was involved, it fell nothing short of extraordinary, only outmatched when Seiten Taisei decided to come out and play… and, thankfully, Sanzo had taken the liberty of duct taping the diadem to Goku's head right before heading out to look for Hakuryuu, so Mr. Taisei wouldn't appear and destroy the whole forest.

Not that that doesn't seem to be such a bad idea right now… Sanzo mused as he ran after the renegade saru. While he ran, the snowfall lessened, allowing him to see clearer. The air itself seemed to warm up as well. …That's odd… stupid monkey… this has to be a trap!

"I'm gonna eatcha! I'm gonna eatcha!" Goku sang as he followed his nose to the tiny delicacies. He saw the ending of the snow as a blessing, and welcomed the air's new warmth. In the joy that came with a potential food overdose, thoughts of sugarplums danced around in his head. Screw the fairies that usually came along with them! You can't eat those! …Or could you?

Sanzo swore he heard a screech when Goku came to a halt at the edge of a clearing. He caught up to him, and placed his hands onto his knees, his breath coming to him in short gasps. He really needed to stop smoking. "What… the hell… were you… thinking?" Sanzo would normally reach for his fan right now, but he didn't have the energy to do so and instead settled for the always fun and relaxing verbal abuse.

Goku was too busy being awestruck to comprehend the monk's rebuking, "Sanzo… what're those?" he pointed to the center of the area, turning his head only to acknowledge Sanzo's presence.

Said monk straightened and gazed towards where Goku was gesturing, expecting something grandiose. His body tensed up, his mind raced through all the possibilities, his breathing quickened…

"…What the hell? There's nothing there, Goku!" Sanzo reached for his fan. Damn the saru for making him excited for nothing!

"What!" Goku turned back to the clearing, "B-but! But, but-OW!" he clutched at his head, glaring maliciously at the retreating fan. You'll get yours fan… you just wait… he silently vowed.

Bwahaha… nothing you can about me you stupid monkey! the fan gloated as it returned to the depths of Sanzo's robe.

Don't call me stupid, you… FAN! Goku defended himself, although rather poorly. Well, we can't really blame him for it. That fan caught him off guard, it did!

Hah! I can't help it if Sanzo loves me more! The fan, now comfortably resting within Sanzo's robes, retorted back in the monkey's mind.

He does not! Goku's eyes narrowed as he tried to stare through Sanzo's robes to where the fan lay dormant.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Sanzo caught Goku focusing intensely on where the fan lay dormant, mistaking it for something quite different, "You disgusting, little pervert!"

"S-Sanzo! It-It's not what you thin-KWAAH!" Goku grabbed at his head, yet again. However, he was thankful that at least this time Sanzo used his fist instead of that blasted paper monstrosity. He sniffed again, the smell of sugarplums still strong, mixed in with something else. "Hmm?"

Goku's trusty nose started twitching again, "I smell something, Sanzo!"

"Not those damn sugarplums again…"

"No! Something else… something like… dragon!" Goku scampered back to the middle of the clearing. "I'm positive about it!"

"…I wasn't aware that dragons had a smell…" Sanzo remarked dryly, following Goku. His lack of enthusiasm was apparent in the way he trudged through the snow. Even though his posture was straight and elegant, one could tell that all he wanted was to lie down in the stupid frozen stuff blanketing the earth and just fall asleep. Who cares about the cold, anyway? Not like you can die from it or anything like that.

"Of course they do! Everything has a smell!" Goku sniffed the air again, "Wait a sec! There's not only dragon… but something else…" he dropped to his hands and knees and sniffed around on the ground. Like a dog.

"There's nothing here, Goku." Sanzo rolled his eyes again, trying to cover up his intention of tying a leash and collar on Goku right then and there. Go hidden meanings! Woo!

The monkey king popped up from the ground, his eyes set at the far edge of the area, "THERE!" he charged towards it, tiny hearts popped out of his eyes, and snow flew everywhere, kicked up by his feet.

Sanzo stood in the center, smirking as he watched Goku's antics. …Stupid chimp… his smirk turned into a gentle smile as he ruminated on the way Goku was able to be pleased by the simplest things. Sure, the saru was growing up, and quickly, but he still had a naiveté about him that made him just so damn lovable. Not that Sanzo loved him in any way of course. No sir. There's no room for love in that miniature stone heart replica of his. Or so he says.

His smile wouldn't last too long, when it turned into another near jaw drop as Goku was suddenly slammed backwards into the snow, as if he rammed into a solid wall of absolute nothing. A giant sleigh materialized out of thin air in a flurry of sparkles, surrounded by 9 deer-like things, one of which had a giant red nose. A familiar, silvery reptilian face peered out of the sleigh, a long tail behind it wagging back and forth with pure joy.

"Kyuu!"


Hakkai coughed.

Gojyo smoked.

Hakkai coughed again, throwing a glance over to the kappa.

Gojyo didn't take the hint and continued to smoke.

Hakkai finally resorted to "accidentally" stepping on the kappa's foot, which caused Gojyo's nervous system to perform a completely natural, but still fairly miraculous chain of events. First, the flesh and bone in his foot would absorb the force of the blow, then the nerve endings in said foot would send the message of pain in the form of electrical signals at a top speed of a hundred miles per hour throughout the map of nerves in his body, finally winding up at his brain. This brain would receive the message, register it as acute pain, and then relay the message to two different body parts. For one, his foot, which would jerk back, and finally, his mouth which would open really wide and…

"Gods, Hakkai! What the hell was that for!" Gojyo's cigarette dropped into the snow, snuffed out immediately. A soft hiss reached both kappa and demon's keen ears, and the stink of tobacco smoke increased briefly, before dissipating entirely.

"You know how I feel about your smoking, Gojyo." Hakkai smiled sweetly. A warning that if Gojyo dared to light another cancer stick, he would receive a nice pop in the head and, depending on how PMS-y Hakkai felt, another to the groin.

The red-head smirked, "You should be kind to smokers, Hakkai." he paused dramatically, "We don't really have a lot of time left."

Hakkai gave a warm pat to Gojyo's shoulder, and smiled genuinely, "Now now, let's not think cynically, hmm?"

Gojyo just continued to smirk, kicking at the snow with his foot, "This shit ain't disappearin' anytime soon…"

"Which is why we need to find Hakuryuu as fast as we can." Hakkai's marching tempo stepped up, puffs of snow flying from his legs.

Gojyo's nigh permanent smirk only increased in size and love as he watched the brunette demon's face set in determination. Even though he didn't seem the type, with his gentle demeanor and all, once Hakkai had his mind set on a goal, he'd do everything in his power (and he has a lot of power) to achieve it.

"Hey… the snow's stopped falling." Hakkai's smile broadened and he turned to face Gojyo. At that moment, a gust of wind blew his over cloak to the side. The soft brown material swayed in the wind, and fine, white powder lifted from the earth, flurrying around his figure like an aura mirroring the gentleness of the youkai's personality. His monocle glimmered in the soft moonlight, accompanied by the gentle sparkle of his emerald tinted eyes.

If Gojyo still had the cigarette in between his lips, it would have dropped to the ground in complete awe.

Hakkai stood completely still, the wind still blowing. His theme music started to play in the background, the soft piano chords only adding to the atmosphere.

Until the pianist hit a sharp instead of a flat, ruining the song and totally killing Gojyo's pleasant, near heavenly mood.

"Damn you!" Gojyo roared as he launched shakujyo's blade, shattering both piano and pianist into a million, trillion, bazillion pieces. Huzzah for senseless, uncensored violence!

Hakkai snapped out of his pretty-boy trance, and looked around sheepishly, "My… that certainly was… random." he chuckled. "Wonder what that was about…"

"I believe it's called a plot device, my dear Hakkai." Gojyo lit another cigarette, wary of the distance between Hakkai's foot and his own.

"Well… it certainly wasn't a very good one, now was it?" the green-eyed youkai mused.

"Nope. It most certainly was not." Gojyo took another long, almost exaggerated, drag of the cigarette, and exhaled, the smoke of burning tobacco (along with some fairly hazardous chemicals) curling around his head, "You'd think by now she'd given up…"

Suddenly, the wind died, and all was eerily silent. This newfound tranquility of the forest provided better conditions for the demon and water sprite's highly attuned senses to pinpoint the location of their lost lizard, while the authoress tried in vain to distract both reader and character from her weak, insomnia induced plot devices.

In the silence, a far off, "Kyuu!" echoed off the distant trees. A normal human wouldn't be able to hear the obscure chirp, even in the dead silence of the still woods. However, our heroes aren't exactly normal (neither physically nor mentally). Or human for that matter.

The two antenna like hair strands poking from the top of Gojyo's head perked up, then twitched, seeming to communicate with each other. Hakkai caught the slight movements out of the corner of his eye, and stared transfixed until the two strands of "hair" finished their "conversation". When Gojyo finally spoke, probably after receiving the message from his antenna, Hakkai couldn't even register the speech.

"Hey, 'kai… Didja just hear that?" Gojyo tried to make eye contact with the youkai, but twas in vain as Hakkai stared transfixed at the top of his head. "Hakkai?"

"…Antennae…"

"Hakkai!"

"Oh!" Hakkai started, then suddenly became very interested in some lint on his cloak. After a few moments of lint purging, he made eye contact with the hanyou, "Terribly sorry, Gojyo. What did you say?"

Gojyo glanced nervously at Hakkai. It was perfectly natural for him to space out once in a while (Especially when it rained), but during a mission as important to him as this, Gojyo couldn't help but feel just a smidgeon of worry, "I asked you if you heard that."

"Heard what?" Hakkai's head tilted inquisitively.

"Kyuu!"

"That."

"What?"

"Kyuu!"

"That!"

"Oh. Well… of course I did." Hakkai gave Gojyo a look of innocence, "Who wouldn't notice the sound of a-" Time stopped as realization slapped Hakkai yet again, leaving a very nasty bruise, and an apparent concussion as Hakkai felt himself tumble into a world of inky darkness and muffled silence.

"Hakkai!"


Hakkai's heavy lids opened slowly. His vision swam, and his head throbbed. Hesitantly, he brought himself to a sitting position, grimacing the whole time.

"About time you got up!" exclaimed Realization, its face adorned with scorn.

"I-I'm sorry…" Hakkai bowed his head, but not before rubbing his left temple first, "Did you really have to hit me, though?"

At this, Realization scoffed, "Oh please. You just wait until later on in this abomination of a fan fiction. I'm really gonna mess you up, yo!"

"I beg your pardon?"

Realization resisted the urge to hit the poor man again, and instead cut straight to the point, "Alright. Here's how everything's going down right now." it tossed a pad and pencil to the youkai before continuing, "Right now, you're in what's known as 'filler'. This usually happens when an author(ess) can't figure out what to do next, and instead tries to buy time." Realization paused and glanced at Hakkai quickly.

Hakkai, always the model student, wrote vehemently, clinging to Realization's every word.

Realization picked up where it last left off, "Alright, so right now as I speak, your kappa buddy is carryin' ya to safety. In an overdone plot convenience, this just happens to be the clearing that the rest of your homies are chillaxin' at."

Without making a sound, Hakkai raised his hand.

"What's up?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt… but my what are doing what?" Hakkai blinked again, unused to Realization's lingo.

Realization rolled its eyes, "Where the rest of your group is hanging out." It translated.

"Ah. Okay." Hakkai smiled and returned to note taking.

Realization checked its wristwatch, "Aw crap. Listen, I've gotta make this quick. I have about twenty artists and authors to get through…" Realization sighed dreamily. It oh so loved to pop up in front of authors, writers, actors and singers, making its target aware of their lack of talent and hope for the future. This usually lead to the disbanding of singing groups, and/or suicides of many a bohemian. "Anyway, at this clearing, you're gonna find a few other surprises… let's see what else… Oh! The kappa loves you, you flippin' numbass. Make sure you work on that."

After crossing the final "t", Hakkai looked up at Realization, "Anything else?"

Realization pondered the question for a second, "Ah! Yes! You have to wake up now!" And with that, Realization snapped its fingers, flinging Hakkai back to reality.


"Hakkai! Shit man… are you okay?" Gojyo's concern was a lance of clarity that pierced through Hakkai's ringing ears, and straightened his jumbled thoughts. In these thoughts, echoed the remnants of Realization's words.

"…The kappa loves you, you flippin' numbass. Make sure you work on that."

Hakkai murmured, "Gojyo… I know this may be sudden… but… here goes!" without opening his eyes, Hakkai lifted himself from the ground, his neck outstretched and his lips pursed. He found his target, and with his eyes still closed, gave it the wettest kiss he'd ever given anyone in either of his lives. Once he was finally fulfilled, he plopped back to the ground, a content smile making its way across his face…

"Eeew! Sanzo! He… he… kissed me!" a voice that sounded very much like Goku's echoed throughout Hakkai's ears.

Oh. Dear. God.

"S-Sanzo? What do I do…?"

"Just back away." Sanzo advised, "And try not to make any sudden movements. It seems that he's highly unstable right now…"

Now, that was really uncalled for… Hakkai thought with contempt.

"Uhm… Hakkai?" Gojyo's voice rolled in like waves on the shoreline, "Are you okay?"

The demon in question moaned, gingerly bringing a hand to his throbbing temple. "…What happened?" he managed to whisper.

"You got walloped pretty good." Gojyo replied.

"…With what?" Hakkai blinked multiple times, trying to rid the sudden appearance of Gojyo triplets.

"A rock." the Gojyo on the right responded.

"Oh… that's nice." Hakkai sighed, "Any luck with finding Hakuryuu?"

"Kyuu!" the cheerful chirrup uplifted Hakkai's spirits, and he grinned.

Sanzo, not wanting to burst Hakkai's bubble, but did so anyway, snorted, "You should be much more concerned about who threw that rock." His cool amethyst eyes stared into Hakkai's. However, his usual steely glare was gone, replaced with the tiniest smidgeon of concern.

"…And why's that, Sanzo?" Hakkai questioned, his head cleared up enough for intelligent thought.

"…Because we have a lot of candidates." Sanzo's gaze shifted to the perimeter of trees, and he shifted uneasily. Covertly yes, but there still lingered that hint of uneasiness. Anything that made the great Genjo Sanzo uneasy, was enough to put Hakkai on edge.

Said youkai sat up slowly, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Sharp demon senses picked up the presence of quite the quantity of unfriendly auras.

His confession to Gojyo would have to wait, again.

Right now, they had bigger problems.


(A/N) …4270 words in this chapter alone. 4270 words! That's nine pages! NINE!

…What have I done…?

Conclusion. Next chapter. No ifs, ands, or buts about it! I SWEAR!

Ja!

Sheepi