To Love A Jedi

Chapter 8: This Love Can Never Be

Author's Note: Just to let you know, I'll be gone all Spring Break. Sorry, guys!


Leia and I are in Bail Organa's office, now trying to figure our security plans.

"It is obvious that Vader knows you exist. But I do not know if he knows about Leia."

"I've been in danger all my life, I am now worried. But I am worried about her."

Leia doesn't dare speak. She knows that this conversation is serious. Bail looks down at her. "I know you are worried. But I may have an idea. Something that will keep her from the Empire for—"

The door suddenly bursts open. It is Dormé, my faithful handmaiden. "Milady!" She gasps.

I stand up abruptly. "What is it?"

"You're in danger. I just saw them come. They must have just arrived!" She regains her breath. "Stormtroopers!"

I have no time to be shocked. "I have to get out of here!" I cry, but Dormé holds me back.

"You can't! They're almost here!"

Bail looks behind him. "In the closet!" He yells, pushing Leia and I into the dark space beyond that door. With one last look towards the hallway, he shuts us in.

Leia looks at me. "Mummy? What's happening?"

I put a finger to my lips. "Shhhhh!" I tell her.

A moment later, I hear the door burst open. "You." A stormtrooper says. "We have a message for a Bail Organa."

"I am Bail Organa." He replies, trying to keep a hint of surprise in his voice. "What is it you want with me?"

"We have a message for you from Lord Vader."

Vader! Ani! Does he know? I hug Leia tighter, trying to keep my fear to a minimum.

I hear the sound of a holoprojector being turned on. As the message comes on, I hear the sound of heavy breathing. A shiver runs down my spine. As I hug Leia, I can feel her shaking also. She knows of Vader's reputation.

"Bail Organa." A low, voice resonates throughout the room. It is not Ani's voice, but I know the voice of his other side all too well. "You are probably wondering why I sent this garrison down to your peaceful planet."

"Yes, I am wondering." He replies, showing no fear. "To my knowledge, Alderaan has done nothing to be worthy of troops storming our halls. We have paid all taxes, reported all fugitives located on our planet, and even supplied troops for the Imperial Training Academy."

"You have followed all laws that are in place. But this message was not sent about Alderaan. This was sent about a certain fugitive. One that there is reason to believe you may be harboring. The former Senator Amidala."

I take a sharp breath. So he does know I am alive! Leia squeezes my hand.

"You believe I am harboring Senator Amidala?" Bail sounds amused.

"There is no proof, but we do know you were once good friends with the senator."

Bail gave a small laugh. "Yes, we were once good friends, but this was before the Empire. Before the war. Before she made such foolish choices. In my opinion, she brought her fate upon herself. I have no loyalty to her know."

Though I know the words are false, they still give a small sting. It's a good thing he has a background in politics, he is able to lie without being detected. Even from a jedi.

"Though you claim no loyalty, others on this planet might be hiding her. I will send down some troops to look around for her. I assure you they will not kill, unless we find some residence. Our business is deals only with the senator." He puts great emphasis on "senator." I know what this means. He is obsessed with finding me. Why?

My heart drops. I know what he wants. He is looking for my child. And I will know where my "child" is.

"You are to send troops to invade my home?"

"Senator Organa, you misunderstand me. They shall not enter your home, but they shall be placed at the gate. No one can leave or enter without first being cleared by them."

"I see. And how long do you plan to keep this up?"

"Until we find the senator, or we learn new information of her whereabouts."

Bail sighs. "Very well then. Position your men at the gate."

"I am surprised at how quick you are to agree." Vader comments.

"What can I say? I am a politician."

With that, I hear the holoprojector being turned off. The stormtroopers march away. After waiting a few minutes to make sure they are gone, Bail opens the door.

"That was close." I say.

"Too close." He replies.

I stare out the window. "I knew it would never work."

"What?" Bail asks, but he doesn't know of what I am speaking.

"I knew. I knew and I warned him, but he didn't give up. And I couldn't stop myself. I tried, but I should have remained strong…"


After the picnic, we had dinner in the dining room of the resort. It was a time for us both to talk, like we had before. It was also a time to discover many things.

As we ate, Ani started talking about one of his many jedi adventures. "Did I tell you about the time we were chasing space pirates through three systems?"

"No." I replied, wanting to hear something new.

"Well, we were chasing them, and eventually they landed on Sullust. It was a mad chase through a rough town until we ended up in a factory. When we got to them, we went into aggressive negotiations."

I stared. " 'Aggressive negotiations'? What's that?"

He grinned. "Negotiations with a lightsaber."

I couldn't help but smile and laugh. I was about to bite into a pear, but suddenly it floated away from me! I looked up, and I saw Anakin moving it towards him. It landed neatly on his plate. "If Master Obi-Wan caught me doing this, he'd be very grumpy." I wondered why. I guessed jedi weren't supposed to use their powers for anything but protecting the galaxy. He sliced a piece off, and then floated it towards me. I caught it and took a bite.

"Speaking of Obi-Wan," I asked. "Have you heard from him?"

He shook his head. "No, why?"

"I…I was just wondering…how long you need to protect me." I said this very fast.

"Don't worry Padmé," He said. "Obi-Wan takes a long time investigating things. I don't know how long I'm here, but I'm not leaving anytime soon."

I lowered my head. "Oh…good." I was not worried about him leaving. I was worried about my feelings, our feelings…and what would happen if we went on like this. Something told me that our mutual attraction was dangerous.

After dinner, we went to the sitting room. A fire was lit, and it was warm. I could leave off the coat of my dress. When I took it off, Anakin stared. At my breasts. I looked down. I had forgotten I had chosen to wear such a…tiny outfit. I had been okay with it for dinner, but now…I felt naked.

We sat on the couch and thought of things to say. I kept my gaze away from Anakin, knowing what I would have to say to him. He stared at me, and then he began, "From the moment I met you, not a day has gone by since I haven't thought of you."

I knew where he was going. Oh, no! I thought.

He continued. "And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony." He moved closer, I tried to back away. "The closer I get to you, the worse it gets." He paused. "The thought of not being with you…I can't breathe."

Please, stop this Ani! I cried out silently. You know we can't!

His eyes met mine. "I'm haunted by the kiss you should never have given me." I knew he was feeling what I felt too. He felt danger also. "My heart is beating, hoping that the kiss will not become a scar." He moved closer, trying to woo me. I did not feel comfortable. I moved away. He knew the danger, but he was thrilled by it.

Ani decided to end his romantic speech. "You are in my very soul, tormenting me. What can I do? I will do anything you ask." He gave me a look that made me know what he wanted me to ask. He wanted me to ask him to love me. Though I had no control over my feelings, my head could win this argument.

"We can't." I said quietly. "We can't, it's just not possible."

He would not give up. "Anything is possible, Padmé, listen to me."

I could bear it no longer. "No, you listen!" I stood up. "We live in a real world, come back to it! You're starting to become a jedi, I'm…I'm a senator." Our love was impossible, I finally realized.

Ani pretended that he didn't care, but I could tell something was speaking to him, as it did me.

"If you follow your thoughts to conclusion, it will take us to a place we cannot go, regardless of the way we feel about each other."

With that, Ani perked up. "Then you do feel something!"

I put my foot down. "I will not let you give up your future for me."

He also stood up, to come closer towards me. "You are asking me to be rational. I know that is something I cannot do. Believe me, I wish that I could just wish away me feelings, but I can't."

We were both young, and in love, but I was older. It was up to me to be the more mature one, the more responsible one. "I will not give in to this."

Ani looked sad, and he walked away, disappointed. He suddenly stopped when he got an idea. "Well, you know, it wouldn't have to be that way." He turned to me. "We could keep it a secret."

That thought had crossed my mind, but I could not allow this to continue. My head told me to ignore my heart. That is what I had to do. "We'd be living a lie. One we couldn't keep even if we wanted to. I couldn't do that. Could you, Anakin? Could you live like that?"

For one wild moment, I thought he was going to say "Yes". But the he looked down. "You're right. It would destroy us."


He was right. I was right. Living like that would destroy us. As it did. I should have been strong, but my heart won over my head. And we tried to live in secret. But we failed. We failed miserably. And this time, this life, thus is the consequence.
Author's Note: Okay, I always thought that Anakin sounded like he had been reading a tad bit too many love poems in that scene. It seemed a bit out-of-character to me. Or maybe seeing Anakin act like some sappy love poet was too big a shock.