Some Interesting Matches
Chapter 8: A Dating Disaster
A/N: OK, applause please, this has got to be my longest chapter I've ever written! Enjoy!
When Harry walked into the Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom, he looked around for Ron. When he couldn't find him, he took a seat beside Seamus. He would have sat beside Dean, but he was sitting beside Parvati. (A/N: The room was arranged with desks in pairs).
Hmm… it was as if everyone had been pairing off lately. Hey, even Ron had landed himself a girlfriend!
"OK, everyone. Welcome to Defense Against The Dark Arts –" Lockhart broke off as Ron, Hermione, and Neville entered the room.
"Because it is my first day, I will allow tardies," Lockhart continued with a flourish of his robes as he walked from side to side.
Harry tuned him out as he watched Lavender beckon Hermione over, an anxious look in her eyes. When Hermione sat down next to Lavender, Ron and Neville took the last remaining pair of desks.
Lockhart droned on, and Harry tuned him back in. "We will be beginning our unit with flotbourishes, continuing on to…"
Harry sighed. Borrrrrrring. If only Ginny were in this class, he thought to himself.
In the back of the room unheard by Lockhart, Neville told Ron his dilemma. "Well, you've come to the right man," Ron told Neville superiorly. (A/N: Since when does Ron refer to himself as a man?!)
"I'll give you some pointers that'll make her like you in no time…" Neville nodded his head eagerly.
"First of all, let her know who's boss. The man, not the woman. You're the alpha dog, and she's the…" Ron racked his brain, searching for the right word. What do they call in-superior female dogs? "and she's… not," he finished lamely.
"Women like it when the man takes control. Make sure she has absolutely no part in the decision making. Also… put some cologne or after-shave or something on. Women love men who smell good." He thought for a few minutes, sucking on his quill.
"And tell her all the good things about you. Just kind of mention things every once and a while. That'll impress her. And… one last thing. Keep mentioning Cedric and how sorry you are about what happened and what a great guy he was. That'll show her that you're thoughtful and compassionate. Women love sensitive men."
Neville nodded again. "Ok… I think I've got it all. Thanks for –" Both boys jumped as the bell rang. Class had just flown by. And all Lockhart had was talk.
Neville picked up his books and walked quickly up to the Gryffindor Tower. He only had about five minutes to get ready for his meeting with Cho!
Neville frantically looked around the boy's dormitory for some cologne. Finally, he spotted a bottle lying on Ron's trunk. Ron won't mind if I use a little, he reasoned as he spritzed himself all over.
Unfortunately, Neville failed to notice the Christmas tag attached to it that read, "To Hermione".
Four and a half minutes later, Neville sat in the library waiting for Cho. Finally, Cho arrived, looking flushed but gorgeous (of course).
"Thanks so much for doing this, Neville. I really appreciate – hey – what's that smell?" Cho breathed in deeply and wound up coughing. "It smells like… flowers. Too – cough – many flowers."
Neville gasped as he realized the smell was him! So that explained the cloud of flowery smell that had been following him around. "Uh… it must be the new scent the library's trying out. Supposed to… uh… help you learn or something." (A/N: Of all the lame excuses. Ron would die. Although he isn't much better…)
"Oh," Cho shrugged. "All it makes me do is cough. But anyway… I'm really having trouble with Chapter Four –"
Neville cut her off in his macho-man voice: "We'll start on Chapter One."
"But Chapter One's easy! I need help on Chapter –"
Neville cut her off again, this time even more firmly. "We'll start on Chapter One." Cho fell silent and opened her Herbology book. Neville grinned with excitement. Ok, so maybe the cologne was a bit much, but Ron's method seemed to be working now.
"Read the first paragraph silently. By the way, I got this question correct before anyone else," Neville told her, trying to worm a little of his accomplishments into the conversation.
"Good for you," Cho muttered sarcastically. Neville missed the sarcasm and grinned even wider. How could he ever thank Ron?
Cho finished reading the first paragraph and told Neville what it meant. It was correct, of course. How could anyone get anything from the first chapter wrong?
"Ok, I did it. But Neville, I have a test on Chapter Four tomorrow and I really don't understand it –"
Neville cut her off yet again. "No! First we'll do Chapter One, then Chapter Two, then Chapter Three, and then we'll do Chapter Four."
"But that doesn't make any sense! I understand Chapter's One through Three!" retaliated Cho.
"Just – do it. I'm your tutor, not the other way around." Neville ordered her. When Cho sighed deeply and got to work on the second paragraph, Neville almost leaped for joy. Ron had been right! This new macho-power thing was great!
But Neville tried not to sound too joyous as he said, "I'm sorry about Cedric. He was a great guy." Cho stiffened at Neville's comment.
"Please. I don't want to talk about it."
"It's okay to miss him – we all do."
Cho was obviously livid by now. Who would have known the sweet-faced little Neville boy would turn out to be such a bossy, arrogant, insensitive idiot? She thought furiously.
"I said I don't want to talk about it." Cho repeated angrily.
"It's ok, Cho. He would have wanted you to talk about it. He always –"
"I SAID I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I don't need tutoring, not with you!"
Cho quickly gathered her books and ran out of the room, leaving a dumbfounded Neville.
A/N: Aw… how sad. Poor Neville. He just doesn't get it. Guess that's what you get for taking advice from Ron. (Lily's comment: Ron has the emotional depth of a teaspoon!) But we all still love him. And Neville. Yeah, I know, I said Neville's predicament would get better soon. But I also said EVENTUALLY. As in, within the next 5 or 6 chapters.
Also, as of now, I'm at 56 reviews! Thank you guys so much! And, Augurey, notice I reviewed 2 of your stories: read the Innocent Eyes review especially. To the rest of you: I try to read at least one of everyone's stories. But don't worry if I haven't gotten to you yet. It's probably because your stories are so bad they don't deserve a review! Kidding! But... if you'd like me to read some of your stories and I haven't yet, let me know. Please, though, CHECK first.
But remember, when you review my story, please try to keep it about my story. You can thank me for reviewing you or ask me to, but please don't let that be all you say.
And one last reviewer comment:
Alli-baby: Thank you so much for your onslaught (did I spell that right?) of reviews. Feel free to do it again. And again and again and again! Also, I reviewed one or two (I can't remember how many) of your stories.
See everyone next time!
