Forgetting Remembrance
I wish I could remember. . . .
I didn't pay attention at first, but when I noticed, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I wondered if you noticed, if you did it purposefully, if you just forgot. No matter what your reason was, I couldn't help but think and try to remember.
I wish I could remember. . .
. . .how you felt
Right now, you're listening and talking and sitting. You're listening and talking to that imposter with the same name, but not the same face. You're sitting. On me. I wonder if you were just lazy, or still shocked, or maybe it just didn't bother you as much as me. I didn't think I could be that comfortable as a cold, hard suit of armor. But you're sitting on my lap. And I can't help but wonder what I feel like.
And I can't help but think. . .
. . . what do I feel like
Funny how I've been in this body for awhile now, but I don't know what it's like . . . to be metal. I have a body, but I have no touch. I have no feel. I have no smell Though I have my hearing, everything sounds muffled and has an echo. And all the colors that I see are dull and lifeless. So, I wonder. What I feel like. What I smell like. What the world really sounds like. And what the world really looks like. And I wonder . . .how do I feel to you.
And I can't help but think. . .
what do I feel like . .
. . . to you?
And when I start thinking of how I feel to you, I wonder what you feel like. Are you as warm as you used to be? When we were little, and we used to lay together, when your heart used to thunder in your chest. I've almost forgotten what that feels like, and I begin to doubt that that thunder still exists. The smooth texture of your hair, that as soon as it had the length, you had Winry braid. If it still feels like the silk I remember. But then, I forget what even silk feels like. The tickle of your warm breath as it traveled along the fine hairs of my neck. I've forgotten, and I miss it.
And I can't help but miss. . .
. . . how you felt against me
I've forgotten. Everything. How you feel. How you smell. I try hard to recall these things, and at times I almost remember. I want to feel them again. I want to feel you again. So, I'll hold on to those memories that I try so hard to recall. So, I'll hold on to the promise you made me. And when, I feel like giving up, I'll remember what you feel like. Or, what I like to think you feel like.
Though I've forgotten,
I'll hold on. . .
Just so I can. . .
And if that promise ever comes to pass, I promise myself now, that the first thing I'll do is fly into your arms. And I'll feel. And I'll hear your voice, clear as a bell. And my eyes will take in your smile, your eyes. I'll run my hands through your hair. I'll sniff, my nose in the crook of your neck, taking in your scent. My hands will travel your face, your neck, your back. And I'll etch everything into my memory, so I'll never forget again.
. . . . feel you once again.
And I'll hold on,
Just to hold you once again.
Authors Notes: My inspiration came from the episode, "The Other Brothers Elric" The scene where Ed fell onto Al's lap. I noticed that Ed stayed seated there for awhile, and Al stayed silent. Also, I know this may seem like an Ed+Al pairing, but its really not, although I did want to hint at it a bit. I think the hinting went rather well. I hope you enjoyed this fic and will enjoy the many more to come. R&R!
