THE SOUND OF MAGIC

By: Slytherin-Chica687

Disclaimer: The Sound of Music belongs to Oscar Hammerstein II and Richard Rogers.

Harry Potter, characters, and all related indicia are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers Co.

A/n: Quick note here. I had to replace nuns with professors but since I didn't have enough female professors, I had to substitute one with a male. Please don't flame and enjoy!

BTW: (SI) Singing and (SP) Spoken)

Scene 2: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Camera zooms into a corridor inside of Hogwarts, We see the Headmistress Professor McGonagall, along with Professor Snape and Professor Sprout walking alongside her. They seem troubled. Then Professor Trelawney approaches.

Trelawney: "Headmistress?"

McGonagall: "Yes, Sibyl?"

Trelawney: "I can't find her anywhere, no one can!"

McGonagall: "Hermione?"

Trelawney: "She's missing from the school grounds again."

Snape: "Maybe we should tie a leash around her neck."

Sprout: "Have you tried near the Forbidden Forest? You know how much she loves the creatures."

Trelawney: "I have looked all over the place, in all of the typical places."

McGonagall: "Sibyl, considering that it's Hermione, I recommend you search in somewhere atypical."

Trelawney nods and walks away. The three professors cross the courtyard.

Snape: "Well, Minerva, I hope this new infringement concludes whatever uncertainties you may still have about Hermione's future here."

McGonagall: "I always try to keep assurance in my doubts, Snape."

Sprout: "After all, the root of a female Mandrake is just as powerful!"

Snape: "We are not talking Mandrake, male or female, Sprout. Of all the candidates for the Transfiguration Professor position I would say that Hermione is the least fitting-"

McGonagall: (steps in between them) "Children, children."

McGonagall sees several Professors gathered, staring at them, puzzled.

McGonagall: "...er, we were speculating about the qualifications of some of our apprentices. The Potions Master and the Herbology Professor were trying to help me by expressing opposite points of view. Tell me, Madam Pomfrey what do you think of ... Hermione?"

Madam Pomfrey: "She's a brilliant girl ... some of the time."

McGonagall: "Madam Hooch?"

Madam Hooch: "It's awfully easy to like Hermione ... except when it's, uh,
difficult."

McGonagall: "And you, Professor Sinistra?"

Professor Sinistra: "Oh, I adore her greatly. But she always seems to be in
trouble, doesn't she?"

Snape: "Exactly what I say!
(SI) She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee, her dress has got a tear."

Sinistra: (SI) "She waltzes on her way to class, and whistles on the stair."

Snape: (SI) "And underneath her cloak, she has curlers in her hair."

Madam Pomfrey: (SI) "I've even heard her singing in the hallways"

Madam Hooch: (SI) "She's always late for meetings"

Sinistra: (SI) "But her penitence is real"

Snape: (SI) "She's always late for everything"

Madam Pomfrey: (SI) "Except for every meal"

Snape: (SI) "I hate to have to say it, but I very firmly feel…"

Snape, Madam Hooch, Sinistra, Madam Pomfrey: (sings)

"Hermione's not an asset to this school!"

Sprout: (SI) "I'd like to say a word in her behalf"

McGonagall: (SP) "Then say it, Holly."

Sprout: (SI) "Hermione makes me…laugh"

Snape scowls. McGonagall smiles.

McGonagall: (SI) "How do you solve a problem like Hermione? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?"

Sprout: (SI) "How do you find a word that means Hermione?"

Madam Pomfrey: (SI) "A flibbertigibbet!"

Sinistra: (SI) "A will-o'-the wisp!"

Snape: (SI) "A clown!"

McGonagall: (SI) "Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her, many a thing she ought to understand"

Snape: (SI) "But how do you make her stay, and listen to all you say?"

McGonagall: (SI) "How do you keep a wave upon the sand?"

Sprout: (SI) "Oh, how do you solve a problem like Hermione?"

McGonagall: (SI) "How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?"

Sinistra: (SI) "When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused, and I never know exactly where I am"

Madam Hooch: (SI) "Unpredictable as weather"

Madam Pomfrey: (SI) "She's as flighty as a feather"

Sprout: (SI) "She's a darling!"

Snape: (SI) "She's a demon!"

Sprout: (SI) "She's a lamb!"

Sinistra: (SI) "She'd outpester any pest, drive a hornet from its nest."

Madam Hooch: (SI) "She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl"

Sprout: (SI) "She is gentle! She is wild!"

Madam Pomfrey: (SI) "She's a riddle! She's a child!"

Snape: (SI) "She's a headache!"

Sprout: (SI) "She's an angel!"

McGonagall: (SI) "She's a girl!"

The teachers gaze heavenward.

Professors: (SI) "How do you solve a problem like Hermione? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Hermione? A flibbertijibbet!"

Sprout: (SI) "A will-o'-the wisp!"

Snape: (SI) "A clown!"

Professors: (SI) "Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her, many a thing she ought to understand."

McGonagall: (SI) "But how do you make her stay"

Snape: (SI) "And listen to all you say?"

Sprout: (SI) "How do you keep a wave upon the sand?"

Professors: (SI) "Oh, how do you solve a problem like Hermione?"

A door slams. Footsteps, running. Hermione races headlong into the courtyard, runs straight past teacher, then stopsdead when shenoticed them. She rolls her eyes helplessly and walks into the corridor.

Professors: (SI) "How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?"

A/N: What do ya think? Please R&R!

Fact #2: Hermione's Middle name is Jane, while Ron's is Bilius, named after his uncle, who died after seeing a grim!

Later all--

Slytherin-Chica687