Disclaimer: I don't own Billie Letts' "Where the Heart Is", or Joss Whedon's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What, I can't always have a funny disclaimer, can I? Am I just here as a clown for your amusement? Let's just see who's the clown when you're wearing the funny nose and multicolored wig! Yeah, Bozo, what the fuck are you going to do then?

Rating: This will be rated R! Sorry kiddies, but I like using inappropriate language (and sex, finally).

Author's Notes: Here it is! What everyone's been waiting for! Yes, ladies and germs, we have Spuffiness! All your pleas and threats have led to this chapter. Now, you must understand that this is the first time I have attempted a chapter such as this, so please keep your snarky comments to yourself. If it sucks, it is only because I have never written anything of this nature before. Hope you like, and don't tell me it's really bad!

PS: The WB is evil, and I hope they never have a good series ever ever again.

Dedication: This is for Emma, who beta-ed this for me. She took out the crappy stuff. Thanks babe!


Chapter Twenty-Five- Done Waiting

There were dark circles under her eyes.

When was the last time she actually slept? It seemed like every night she would wake up, in a cold sweat that chilled her body despite the warm blankets she was curled under.

No matter how cheery she acted around her family and friends, she couldn't lie to the mirror. It wouldn't fib.

Blue eyes stared back at her, drained of all color.

They wouldn't shut up. Every time she felt safe, they came back, screaming at her. No more peace.

Outside, she looked like a corpse.

Inside, she was already dead.

Make it all equal. Make it as it should be.

She was tired.

It was time to rest.

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A phone call in the middle of the night is never good.

When Buffy realized the ringing that brought her out of her dream was the phone, a cold chill ran down her spine. The possibilities ran through her head as she hesitantly picked up the receiver.

Xander's been shot.

Tara's been in a car wreck.

Clem, or Giles, had a heart attack.

The cold, tearstained voice on the other end confirmed her worst fear, and Buffy quickly promised to be there before hanging up. In the dark, at three in the morning, Buffy threw on a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt, then went to wake up Willow.

With Aurora, still in her Piglet pajamas, sleeping in her mother's arms, the three went down the stairs, and into Willow's SUV. The car was completely silent, save for Aurora's snoring, as they drove the short distance to the library in the warm, summer evening.

Bathed in the glow of flashing emergency lights, the library had lost all of its tranquil charm. A crowd was already gathered in the front lawn, watching the policemen and paramedics rush into and out of the large building.

Willow pointed Xander out quickly, who was looking for them at the library's entrance. He quickly ushered the three inside.

Xander guided Buffy to the reading room, where Meredith, Holden, and Sydney were fast asleep. She put Aurora down next to the children, covering her with the blankie Meredith was under.

Slowly, she left the room. Over in the corner, Xander, Cordelia, Willow, and Tara were talking quietly, glancing at the cops that passed. Near the stairs, out of the way of the paramedics, were Anya and Giles.

Anya and a cop were deep in conversation; her ability to talk during anything coming in handy, but Giles was sitting defeatedly on the bottom steps of the stairs, wearily resting his head on the banister.

Not wanting to listen to the sorrid details, Buffy snuck over to the stairs. Giles caught her eye, but he only managed a tired nod as she went up.

By the time she got to Drusilla's room, the doctors were already starting to pack up. The police were still there, photographing her doll collection, nightstand, and the bathroom where Drusilla had slit her wrists hours before. Buffy witnessed the paramedics zip up the black bag that contained the girl's cold, lifeless body.

Everyone ignored her as she went inside, but she wasn't looking to talk with anyone in the room.

Save the man sitting on the end of his sister's bed, holding a porcelain doll in his hands.

Buffy sat beside Spike on the bed, watching him as he ran his fingers through the doll's pink silk dress. She recognized the doll as Miss Edith, Drusilla's favorite. She had brought her to Christmas, and used it to teach Aurora how to cradle a baby.

He seemed to sense her presence when she sat down, but didn't make any move to greet her. The two just sat together, not speaking a word.

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"Rory, put your undies on."

Grumbling, Aurora stood on her bed, wrestling with the butterfly panties her mommy handed to her. Her hair was still damp from the bath she had taken.

Buffy combed through the girl's underwear drawer silently for a pair of stockings. There didn't seem to be a single one without a hole in it.

"Did it," the girl exclaimed, and began hopping on the bed.

"Aurora Rose Summers, you know the rule." Buffy didn't even have to turn around to know what her daughter was doing.

The squeaking of the bed stopped.

"Go get me your gray dress," instructed the blonde, finally finding a non- holey pair of stockings in the back of the drawer.

The little girl was soon at her side, the small, dark gray dress in her hands. When Buffy had to buy Aurora a dress for Joyce's funeral months ago, she hadn't the heart to buy a black dress. Too depressing for a child.

Helping with the first half of the buttons on her dress, Aurora stopped to play with the necklace her mommy was wearing.

"You look pwetty, Momma," Aurora commented, looking at the black dress and heels Buffy wore.

"Thank you, honey."

Aurora grabbed her stuffed Cookie Monster doll, lying on the floor. "Cookie wants to go wif us."

Buffy smiled a bit. "I don't think Cookie Monsters are allowed in churches."

"That's discwimination!"

Gasping, Buffy stared at her little girl a few seconds before bursting out with laughter. "You're too smart," she exclaimed. "I am banning Spike from letting you read anything else over your age limit!"

There was a long pause as Buffy finished putting Aurora's dress on, the girl poking poor Cookie's eyes.

"Spike's sad," the three-year-old sighed.

Buffy paused. "Yes, he is."

"'Cause Dwusilla goed away?"

"Went away." Buffy had Aurora sit on her bed in order to put on her stockings. "Yes, he's sad because Drusilla went away."

"Where'd she go?"

Pursing her lips, Buffy thought about this. She wasn't particularly a religious person, and neither was Joyce, so the issue of beliefs had never been formally introduced to Aurora.

"Some . . . place where she could rest, and not be sad," explained the blonde, grabbing a nearby brush and running through Aurora's dark locks.

"She was sad a wot, huh?" asked Aurora.

"Mmm-hmm."

Aurora thought about this. "Did she go where Gramma Joyce goed?"

"I think so, Rory."

"And she's not coming back?"

"No, baby."

"Never ever?"

Buffy shook her head. "Nope. But, we're going to miss her a lot, aren't we?"

Very seriously, Aurora nodded in response.

As Buffy stood up, she examined her daughter, making sure that she looked presentable.

"OK, Rory-girl, time to go," Buffy ordered, holding out her hand to the child as they left the room.

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The sun was just setting when Buffy parked the jeep in front of the library. Slowly, she shut off the engine, and grabbed her purse before getting out.

Nearly half of Sunnydale had turned out for Drusilla's memorial service. Most of them had never gotten to know the girl, but in some way, they had become friends with members of her family. At one point, before the minister began speaking, Buffy thought she saw Riley in the back of the church. Just in case it was him, she quickly hid her face.

Drusilla wasn't going to be buried in Sunnydale. She had never become aquatinted with the town, and felt no real connection. Years earlier, she had explained that she would prefer to be taken back home to England, to rest beside her parents in the family plot.

Tomorrow, her body would be flown overseas. Giles, Anya, and Spike would accompany her, and have a proper burial with the rest of their family.

Giles was taking it hard. All throughout the funeral, he had been sobbing. Anya, who had been so strong throughout the ordeal, told Buffy that he blamed himself for her death. He couldn't even stay in the house. He and Anya rented a hotel room the evening Drusilla died, and had been sleeping there ever since.

Xander and Cordelia were hosting a post-service gathering at their house after the funeral. Almost everyone had gone. Except for Buffy. Once the minister was done speaking, Buffy gave Aurora to Willow. She and Tara would take Aurora home after the gathering. Buffy didn't question the addition of Tara, who had been spending a lot of time at the house with Willow.

Of everyone Buffy saw during the service, one particular person was absent. Buffy questioned Anya about it, but she was of no help. So, Buffy was searching for the missing bleached blond.

The front door opened quietly as Buffy slipped inside. All the lights were out, and the police tape that had been strung through the parts of the library had been cleaned up.

"Spike?" Buffy called out. The only response was her echo in the empty building.

Upstairs was just as dark as downstairs, but she knew where to go. When she reached his bedroom door, she knocked softly.

"Come in," the person on the other side quietly whispered.

She turned the handle, and stuck her head into the room.

Having never been in his room before, Buffy didn't know what it would look like. It had been decorated simplistically; the walls painted a dark gray tone. As she had expected, most of his furniture was black. Even the sheets on his bed. Again, she wasn't surprised to find a large bookshelf off in the corner, stuffed to the top with various novels and hardbound books. The piles of laundry on the floor equaled the piles of books.

Spike sat on the end of his bed, his back facing the door as he stared out the window, dressed in slacks and a white button-up shirt. Flung to his side was his jacket and tie.

Patiently, Buffy waited for him to turn around, which he did ever so slowly.

"Hey," he sighed, his puffy, red eyes locking with hers. The dark shadow of stubble had consumed his jaw. "How'd you find me?"

Buffy smiled. "Used my super powers of getting in a car and driving to the most obviously place."

"Knew I should've hid in a cave." A tiny grin quickly appeared, and disappeared, on his face. "How was it?"

Walking into the dark room, Buffy sat beside him on the bed, moving aside the coat and tie. "Well, Willow and Cordelia managed not to argue, and Xander didn't set anything on fire . . . well, except Clem's car . . ." She paused. "It was really nice. Missed you."

"Yeah, well . . ." Groaning, he dug the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"Just couldn't do it?"

He shook his head in response. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry."

Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy saw something pink lying on his nightstand. Miss Edith.

"What are you doing here?" she asked the doll, picking her up.

She barely caught the choked response from the man next to her.

"Couldn't leave her alone."

Placing the doll back on the nightstand, Buffy scooted closer to Spike, wrapping her arms around him. He was starting to shake.

"Gave her that bloody thing the day she came back from the hospital after her accident," he cried, "And I told her that I would never let her get hurt again!"

"Spike-"

"No!" he snapped. "I didn't keep my promise! She was hurting, and I didn't see it!"

Without thinking, Buffy pulled herself into his lap, holding him as he sobbed loudly.

"This wasn't your fault. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself," she explained, running her hands soothingly up and down his back.

They stayed like this until he slowly began to calm down. When he stopped shaking, Buffy removed her hands and placed them behind his head, beginning to pepper his face with soft kisses.

His face was damp from his tears, so Buffy stopped momentarily and used her thumbs to wipe the moisture away. So in the moment of comforting, she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his mouth, one that lasted longer than expected.

Oh! Bad! her mind scolded as she quickly pulled away. Wide, blue eyes stared into her own green, his mouth hanging slightly open.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, ducking her head down. She felt so stupid, getting carried away.

But, she suddenly felt fingers weave into her hair, tilting her face back up. The look on his face sucked the oxygen from her lungs. He was staring at her so passionately, so intensely, and so hungrily, she became a bit frightened.

Before she could speak, he pulled her to him, crashing his lips on hers. After a moment of incredible shock for the woman, instinct took over. She responded, opening her mouth slightly to let his tongue in, moaning when it entered and lightly caressed hers.

Their mouths danced as she tugged and pulled at his shirt while he tangled his fingers into her long, blonde hair. Suddenly, the need for air became too much for Buffy, and she pulled away, only to gasp when Spike began to nibble along the line of her jaw.

"Spike!" she whimpered, trying to think straight while he snaked a hand under her dress. "M-maybe we s-s-shouldn't . . . Oh GOD!"

And then, she was lying on the bed, wondering how she got on her back, and why she wasn't wearing her dress anymore.

"You think too much, Summers," he muttered with a smirk, before leaning in once more to kiss her, all the while struggling to undo the clasp of her bra.

OK, shouldn't be doing this! Shit, he's a really great kisser . . . Oh, NO! No, this is very of the bad! He needs to stop! He needs to . . .

Buffy shot straight up, her mind suddenly becoming clear.

"Whazza matter?" Spike asked, who halted his actions on her left breast.

She pulled herself up, and grabbed the collar of his shirt.

"Too. Many. Fucking. Clothes." She growled, hastily undoing his shirt buttons. That became an obstacle after the first three buttons, so she settled for pulling the article of clothing over his head, and pushing him roughly down to the bed.

After years of knowing him, Buffy would never admit to finding him at all attractive. No matter how persistently her friends asked her, they'd have to resort to torture for her to say the words. But, seeing him lying on the bed, his smooth, pale skin set off against his hard body, his blond hair disheveled and sticking up on end as he gaped at her, she wondered why she hadn't jumped him sooner.

Crawling up the length of his body, and stopping briefly to undo his fly and push his pants down, she once again attacked his mouth, her hands roaming over every inch of his body. His hands also began to explore, mirroring her own actions, but it wasn't enough for the two.

Their gaze locked, and without asking or giving permission, they joined together. With a rhythm as steady as a heartbeat, they began to move, their focus on each other never breaking. Soon, Buffy fell over the edge, and Spike followed her. Locking hands, their screams echoed in the empty building.

And, then it was done, and Buffy suddenly felt very tired. The events of the past few days had caught up with her, and she neglected to consider what she had done, unprotected, with her best friend. Collapsing on top of him, sleep hit her hard. So exhausted, she slipped away as she snuggled into him, resting her head on his bare chest. As her eyes shut, she thought she felt him release her hands, covering her with a sheet before wrapping his arm around her body. It would take her days to determine if what he whispered next was real, or simply a beautiful dream.

"Been waiting three years to say this, Buffy. I love you."
Comedia- I'm planning as many people as possible, seeing how I'm a sociopath (see, that's psych learning! I'm so smart). Trying to help? Oh, please, you couldn't help a mime out of a plastic bag! Wow . . . don't know where that came from? Anyway, I'll see you in a bit! And, I don't wrestle, I fucking beat bitches up!

Nimacu- Well, thank you darling. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Sokkerblondie005- Oh, I bet you like this chapter! You're probably in the process of sending me some death threat-ish review, all about how much Spike sucks, and how Angel is the best. Sticks and stones, honey, sticks and stones. I haven't seen "The Next of Kin" because I watch good movies. Kidding. No, Lorne was not a demon, because there are no demons in this world. C'mon, bring on the nasty review! I'll be waiting!

Chrestomanci- You get one review for your two, seeing how lazy I am. Yes, Lorne is from Pylea, I don't care what you say about Willow, and Angel is such a bastard. Does that cover it? Well, I have a story for you: Once upon a time, there was this girl named Cathy. She was not really nice, and hit little children in the head with nickels. Then, one day, the cops came and took her to jail. The end. Good story, huh? Love you much!

Zanthinegirl- Sorry about that mistake. That was my assumption, but I'm neither a doctor nor have I had children. I hope. Anyway, glad you liked, and keep reading.

Lurking-in-the-shadows- Don't worry, Angel will feel very guilty about what he does to Buffy (SPOILER) if he can feel! Ha, just got you hooked, didn't I? Well, read to find out what the fuck I was talking about, because I sure as hell don't.

Mita427- You approve of my Angel butt-fucking? Oh, thank the lord! I was so scared that you would find my writing pathetic and childlike . . . nah, I lie. I care about as much as I do for the WB, now that they took Angel off the air. I have, actually, played the penis game, you stupid whore. I used to play it in the cafeteria of my high school, until a teacher told me to shut the fuck up, or else she'd go 16th Century on my ass. I told the bitch to step off, then I capped her in the ass. Love ya!

Randy Braden- Sorry if I came off a little hostile too. Didn't mean to. God, I love Seth Green so much, especially as the "homeboy" in Can't Hardly Wait. He is so brilliant. I just happen to like WT more than WO. How about WOT for compromise? Nah, that's just downright scary. Keep reading, and I'll promise to be good later on.

Imzadi- Why did Lorne kill Lindsey? That was such a shock! I bet you were screaming at the TV like a mad girl. Anyway, I think Lindsey is gone for good in this story as well. No legal work is needed, except for Angel's lame attempt to get his songs back. But, Lindsey would win that case, and that can't happen. So, Lindsey will just live in Los Angeles with Lilah, winning cases and screwing Lilah. The day after I finish this story, I'll post another MRV chapter. I promise on my BtVS season six copy, which will soon be mine.

Celestria16- I was gonna begin this reply with a note saying my LJ link was posted on my author page, but you found it without me, you smart girl! I've been checking out yours too, and you're nutso with the graphics, but it's funny! Angel knows he has a child. He was just shocked that this memory came back to him. It's so sad, but he needs to be kicked in the balls a little more. Well, tah tah.