Chapter X: Confusion
Elerrina gasped as Glorfindel kissed her for the second time. The first kiss was light and sweet, but this one was intense, full of passion. She was surprised and afraid, unsure of how to respond to him. She had never been kissed by an ellon before, let alone by a high lord of Rivendell! She began to tremble, and she pulled away from him. She looked into his eyes, surprise and confusion shining in her own. His eyes were filled with disappointment and something akin to regret. She began to rise, but he captured her hand.
"Elerrina, I—"
She gently pulled her hand free and rose. "I have to go," she whispered.
"Elerrina, please stay."
She glanced at him. His eyes were pleading with her, begging her to stay, yet she could not. "I… I have to go," she stammered.
She turned and quickly walked away, leaving a very confused and dejected Glorfindel behind. The moment she was out of his sight, she broke into a run, and did not stop until she had reached her home. She ran inside and slumped against the door, her heart threatening to leap from her chest. I am sorry, Glorfindel.
Glorfindel's heart sank as he watched Elerrina walk away. He had frightened her, and that made him feel wretched and low. He should not have kissed her like that. Will she ever speak to me again?
He sighed as his gaze fell upon her painting. He picked it up and studied it intently. It was ruined, that was for certain, but he could steel discern some of the scene. Elerrina had been painting a maiden, elleth or human he did not know, for too much of the scene was destroyed. Yet the maiden's eyes were still visible, strangely untouched by the damage. Her eyes were an intense, fiery blue, and they possessed such hardness and emptiness that it hurt to look into them. Yet they were also filled with a hidden pain, a pain so deep that it seemed to be unending. Who is this maiden?
He sighed. He would return this painting to Elerrina, and he would apologize for kissing her without her permission. He hoped she would speak to him, for he had something that he desperately wanted to ask her.
Elerrina could no longer stand to sit in her house, wondering about Glorfindel and the kiss, so she decided to take a walk to clear her mind. She walked slowly, her heart heavy. I should not have left him like that. Will he ever speak to me again? She frowned as she heard several elleths speaking nearby. She froze as she realized what they were discussing.
"Why does Glorfindel waste his time with that scribe?" one asked. "She is not worthy of his attention."
"Why do you say such things, Finvelin? Glorfindel can consort with whomever he wishes. Besides, she seems to be very kind."
Finvelin laughed. "Alphiel , have you not seen her? She obviously spends no time on her appearance, for her hands and clothes are always covered in ink and paint! He is merely toying with her. Perhaps when he is finished, he will spend his time with me, for she certainly does not deserve him."
Elerrina turned and hurried back to her home. She could not stand to listen to that horrible elleth any longer. But was she right? Is he toying with me? Is he only using my feelings for his own amusement? The very thought of such brought hot tears to her eyes, and she quickened her pace towards her home. She entered the house and ran into the bedchamber. She sank onto the bed and allowed her silent tears to fall.
Glorfindel arrived at Elerrina's home and paused before the door. I hope that she will speak with me. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. After several moments, it opened, and Elerrina appeared. Surprise crossed her fair face as she looked at him. Glorfindel studied her in concern. She seemed upset, and her eyes were slightly red-rimmed. Had she been crying? He sighed heavily. I hope that I am not the cause of her tears. He reached out and handed her the painting.
"I thought you might want this," he said softly.
She took the painting and set it inside the door. "Thank you," she mumbled.
An uncomfortable silence passed between them for a few moments before Glorfindel finally spoke.
"I wish to speak with you, Elerrina, if you will permit me."
She nodded slightly and motioned him inside. She sat on her couch, and he sat beside her. He looked at her for a moment before he began.
"I apologize, Elerrina. I should not have kissed you without you permitting me to do so."
She did not say anything for a few moments, and Glorfindel wondered if she ever would. Perhaps she does not wish to forgive me. She suddenly began to speak, but nothing could have prepared him for what she was about to say.
"Are you toying with me, Glorfindel?"
"What?" he asked in confusion.
She looked into his eyes, her own full of pain. "Are you only using my feelings for your amusement?"
"No! Of course not! Why would you think such a thing?" he asked in shock.
She lowered her eyes, refusing to meet his. "I overheard several elleths speaking, and they said as much."
He reached out and took her hands. "Elerrina, look at me." She slowly raised her eyes to his.
"I alone choose who and what I want, and what I want is you. Those elleths could spend months on their appearances, yet they still would not be as beautiful as you are. Nor could they ever be as kind, or sweet, or intelligent as you are. All pale in comparison to you, Elerrina." He smiled at her. "I would court you, Elerrina, if you will permit me."
Elerrina stared at Glorfindel in shock. He wishes to court me? She looked into his eyes. They were so full of hope… and something else. Something that she was afraid to see. She smiled at him.
"Yes, Glorfindel. You may."
He grinned at her and squeezed her hands. "Will you dine with me this eve?"
She nodded, and he smiled. He rose and went to the door, her following close behind. He turned and grinned at her. "I will see you tonight, Elerrina."
He moved to leave, but she touched his arm. He turned around, and Elerrina smiled at him. She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. She could feel his surprise, but he soon wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. After a long moment, she drew back and smiled into his eyes.
"I will see you tonight, Glorfindel."
He nodded and grinned at her. Elerrina watched him as he walked away. She closed the door and leaned against it. She knew that she was losing her heart to Glorfindel, and that thought frightened and excited her. She smiled. Tonight could not come soon enough.
