Disclaimer: I don't own Billie Letts' "Where the Heart Is", or Joss Whedon's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What, I can't always have a funny disclaimer, can I? Am I just here as a clown for your amusement? Let's just see who's the clown when you're wearing the funny nose and multicolored wig! Yeah, Bozo, what the fuck are you going to do then?

Rating: This will be rated R! Sorry kiddies, but I like using inappropriate language, and the sex.

Author's Notes: Hi. Please don't throw rotten fruit at me for not posting sooner. What with work, painting both mine and my sister's rooms, going to New York and California for vacation, and finally, getting back to school, I lost my muse. I guess I left her at school, seeing how I found the urge to write today, the first day of school. Blah. Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter, even though there is negative Spuffy-ness, but I hope you like it anyway.

PS: The "Voyager" comment is in honor of my friend, Annaleah, who doesn't read my story. Hmm, why did I put it in then?


Chapter Twenty-Eight- Adjusting, With Pie

In the months that followed, Buffy became skilled in the art of lying.

At least to her friends.

They had all been in a state of shock when they found out Spike was gone. He had left the day after he came home, in the early morning, not bothering to tell anyone. At the airport, he had managed to call Giles, explaining that it was too hard being home, and that he wanted to try a life in London. But that was it. He was gone.

When Tara, Willow, Xander, and Cordelia found out, they immediately called her up and asked what happened. As calmly as she could, Buffy said it was his decision to go, not hers.

She knew she was the reason he left. Buffy wasn't that stupid. Their final conversation had managed to hurt him in ways she couldn't have predicted, but it was all for the best.

Had she lived alone, Buffy would have spent a week on the couch, curled up in a ball in her pajamas as she watched daytime television and ate ice cream, alternating between depression and tears. She'd give up brushing her teeth, washing her hair, and showering.

Because she had to be the grown up and mother, she ignored all of her instincts. Instead, she kept going through the daily routine of caring for Aurora, pretending that all was well with the world.

It didn't stop her from breaking down occasionally. While grocery shopping, she began sobbing uncontrollably in the laundry detergent section. She had to be escorted to her car after Aurora's preschool teacher informed Buffy that her daughter was reading at a sixth-grade level, unheard of for a four-year old. At one point, she stopped going to the library all together, and Willow was put in charge of getting and returning books. But, she wasn't the only Summers feeling shitty.

When Spike moved to London, Aurora not only lost her babysitter, but her best friend, book buddy, and almost-father. He was the only adult to ever take her seriously, to listen to her wild theories and ideas without laughing, and when he would respond, would speak to her as if she wasn't four. Since he left, everything changed around the girl. Instead of going to the library everyday after school, she was sent to the Harris house, which was still fine, but wasn't the same.

When she would later look back on it, Buffy realized that Aurora never had any peculiar habits. When Meredith gave up eating all foods that started with F, and Holden became so scared of animals that he refused to go outside if he saw a bird, Aurora remained almost normal.

Suddenly, when everything changed around her, she snapped. She refused to wear socks, would only eat her meals on the bright yellow plate with sunflowers Buffy found at a garage sale, and threw a fit in her car seat if Buffy drove anywhere near a gas station. And then, there was the cape.

Aurora refused to leave the house without her cape. Actually, the cape was a blue pillowcase that tied around her neck. Buffy indulged her at first, hoping she'd get bored with it, but after two weeks the cape was still there.

"How about we leave the cape at home today, and you can wear this pretty hat, Rory," Buffy proposed, showing her daughter the hat.

To respond, Aurora grabbed the hat, threw it on the ground, and stuck her tongue out at Buffy. That gained her an hour time-out in her room, but she didn't seem the least regretful.

"What the fuck is with the pillowcase," sighed Buffy, sitting in the kitchen with Willow later that night.

The redhead groaned as well. "That ugly, shaggy blue thing? I don't . . ." she trailed off, but then something popped into her mind. "Ooh! Um, that one day I had to pick Rory up from the library, she was wearing it! It was one of Anya's old things, and Spike gave it to her. Called it her superhero cape."

One morning, a letter addressed to Rory came in the mail. The envelope had a coffee cup ring on the back, and the return address had been erased so heavily that it crumpled. Thinking it was a mistake, Buffy opened the letter herself.

Bit-

Make sure you finish "The Secret Garden" as soon as possible, because you need to start "A Christmas Carol" before Thanksgiving. You'll love it, I promise. Also, make sure to add Franz Kafka's "The Metamorphosis" to the list. It's probably too advanced for you, but I know you can get through it.

How's preschool? That little bugger still teasing you?

I'm in London right now. Went and saw the crown jewels yesterday. Remember I showed you a picture of them?

Take "The Scarlet Letter" off your list. I just reread it, and it's not worth your time.

Just wanted to let you know, Rory, that I love you, and I miss you. Sometimes you just have to do weird things.

I've enclosed a five-pound note. That's the queen on it. Doesn't it look nicer than those stupid green dollars?

Also add Jane Austin's "Pride and Prejudice". I don't know why I didn't add that in the beginning.

Spike

P.S.: Tell your mother I hope she is well.

Every week, usually on a Tuesday, a letter from Spike to Aurora would arrive. Usually a short note, with many book additions and subtractions enclosed, would be all. Sometimes, he'd send her a package with rare books, small toys or stuffed animals for her. Rory would snatch up the letters, read them over as many times as she could, and would follow his instructions. Then, she put the letter in a shoebox hidden under her bed.

Buffy would manage to sneak a peek at the note before then. It was always the same, but sometimes she wished he would address part of the letter to her, instead of that stupid postscript he'd always add at the end. Maybe a sentence that said she was right, he was doing well, or that he missed her.

She sure as hell missed him. One evening, while helping Anya clean the Magic Box, she found a note in a stack of papers. It was a telephone number, the name 'Will' written in big letters. Copying the number down on a piece of scrap paper, she hid it in her pocket, and waited until getting home to try it. After the fifth ring, he picked up, muttering "'Ello". Her mind suddenly went blank, and Buffy quickly hung up.

"Well, what were you going to do?" Willow half-yelled at her.

Buffy shrugged. She had admitted her actions, and her true feelings, to Willow, knowing her roommate would be discreet.

"I don't know. I thought-"

"You'd tell him you loved him, and to come home?"

She shook her head. "No, I couldn't do that to him. There's nothing in Sunnydale for him."

After a moment of silence, resolve face firmly placed on, Willow sighed. "Before you go on deciding what he needs, you need to figure out what you want. Once you do that, maybe everything will become clear."


With a big grin spreading towards the corners of her mouth, Buffy stepped away from the kitchen entrance.

"And now, the piece de resistance!"

Willow sauntered in, smiling just as brightly as Buffy, carrying the silver serving platter heaped with steaming slices of turkey. On top of her head, for no apparent reason, she was wearing an oversized cowboy hat.

"Go on! Dig in!" the redhead commanded, setting the tray in the center of Buffy's dining room table.

The guests, impressed by both the Martha Stewart-esque presentation and the apparent growth in their hostess's cooking skills, did just that.

Except Giles.

"I thought the family patriarch was supposed to carve and serve for this ridiculous holiday," he observed from his seat, the pout in his voice very obvious.

Buffy gave him a saucy smile. "Well, certain family patriarchs decided not to host Thanksgiving this year."

"I've hosted it the past bloody three years!'

Rolling her eyes, Buffy passed the gravy to Tara. "You get to be a guest this year, and Willow's the patriarch."

"Why am I the patriarch?" complained Willow.

"Because I was the only one who cooked, and you carried in the turkey."

"And because of your very masculine hat," Anya pointed out, placing olives on her plate.

"I just thought it was cute." Willows lower lip began to quiver as she took the hat off.

Xander turned to Cordelia.

"Five dollars," he demanded from his wife, holding his hand out under her nose.

Rolling her eyes, Cordelia fished into her pants' pocket, and pulled out the bill, stuffing it bitterly into her husband's hand.

"What's with that?" Tara asked halfway through bites.

Cordelia groaned. "Xander bet me that someone would start to cry tonight, seeing how it's Thanksgiving." She obviously didn't find it funny.

Buffy did however, as she passed the fruit salad bowl to the complete stranger sitting next to her.

"Want some, Andrew?"

The blond boy shook his head shyly and went back to piling up his mashed potatoes, trying to stay out of the conversation, and way.

Andrew was the eighteen-year-old relation of Anya's who had been staying in Sunnydale for the past few weeks. No one, except Giles probably, knew how exactly the two were related, or how long the boy was staying. There were no complaints from anyone. The group, as was their nature, took him in without question.

Xander, a bite of half-chewed turkey in him mouth, made a "humph" noise.

"Buffy," he asked, pointing at the remaining turkey slices, "What kind of turkey is this?"

"Turkey turkey," she replied, a little too quickly for everyone seated at the table.

Aurora stood up from her chair, waving her little arm back and forth. "I know! I know!"

Buffy shot her daughter the death glare. "Eat your carrots, Rory!"

"Momma forgotted to take the turkey outta the freezer today! S'not turkey!"

All forks stopped halfway to mouths.

"Buffy, what kind of turkey is this?" Xander repeated slowly.

Her cheeks were burning red. "Tofu turkey from Wal-Mart."

Uncomfortable silence ensued until Tara spoke up.

"W-well," she stuttered, unsure of what to say, "It's a barbaric tradition to slaughter an animal just because this stupid, politically-influenced, Native American slaughter disguised as a holiday . . . thing tells us to do so! Besides . . . mmmm, tofu. I love . . . tofu!"

Again, Xander turned to Cordelia, grinning once again. "Someone screamed," he commented, waiting as the brunette grumbled, pulled out another five dollar bill, and put it in his hand.

"Why the hell are you betting with Cordy on this stuff?" Willow asked.

"It's easy money, seeing that's how all family holidays are spent." Cordelia answered for Xander, before bursting into giggles.

At least it broke the tension, and dinner resumed with the eating of yams and fake-turkey.

Before dessert was served, Giles stood up, wine glass in hand.

"Even though my position of patriarch has been unceremoniously taken away this year-" he paused, managing to glare at a snickering Buffy, "I would like to make the traditional toast.

"It has been a very . . . complex year for us all. We have lost a few members of our makeshift family, but we have also gained a few other additions as well, what with Andrew and Cordelia having twins in June."

"Don't remind us!" groaned Cordelia and Xander at the same time. They were still recovering from the shock.

"But, through it all," Giles continued, "I've known that I could always depend on this very wonderful group. Except for William, who doesn't have the bloody decency to fly in for Thanksgiving even though his poor uncle, who raised him without complaint, called him constantly for a week. 'Sorry, Rupes, but I've got other plans'! I guess the next time I'll be seeing you is when you're at my funeral, waiting for the will to be read-"

"Digressing, honey," interrupted Anya.

"What I'm attempting to say is . . . I've spent most of my life planning on being alone. Before I moved here, took on Will and Drusilla, and met all of you, I was content to be by myself. It's taken me a long time to realize that I don't want that anymore. There is especially one person here I don't want to be parted from.

"Anya." Slowly lowering to his knee, Giles pulled a small, black box out of his pocket. "I don't know how I survived before you walked into the library all those years ago, asking if I had a payphone. I don't know what I would do if you weren't beside me. You've made my life whole, and I'm grateful with every fiber of my being. It's a silly life, but it's whole. Would you give me the honor of . . . would you marry me?"

Anya took exactly sixty-three seconds to gaze blankly at the ring inside the box, her mouth hanging open. That is, until she began to bounce excitedly in her chair, squealing at the sight of the ring inside the black box.

"Oh God! YES! Yes, I will!" she screamed in a high pitched voice, as Giles slipped the platinum and diamond band on her ring finger.

Buffy, Tara, and Willow grabbed their napkins to wipe the few tears sprouting from their eyes while Cordelia, too hormonal to care, used the back of her hand.

There was a sniffling sound coming from Buffy's right, and she suppressed a smile to see Andrew also crying.

"You happy?" she asked the boy.

He nodded. "It's kinda like the early seasons of "Voyager". Those few moments when B'Elanna and Tom would quit fighting, and you could see that they really cared . . ." Andrew could see that Buffy had no idea what he was talking about. "I'm happy."

"Thought this would never happen, would it Will?" Xander joked, nudging the redhead. But she had been lost in her thoughts, and snapped out of it quite shockingly.

"I'M GAY!"

Her shout silenced the room, as her cheeks became the same color as her hair.

"Sorry," she apologized, "I'm not trying to take away the attention, or ruin the holidays. But I haven't thought of a good time to say this, and I guess now would be OK, instead of having a meeting like I had thought of before, but then you'd think that I was in trouble, like I was doing drugs or was getting arrested for kiddie porn-"

"Rambling, Will," Buffy interjected.

"Yeah, sorry. Again." Sighing, Willow began to play with her napkin. "Giles was right about this year being complex. Bad things happened, but good things have too. I got to find out that I felt differently about one of my best friends. That it wasn't just friendship. So, I guess I'm gay. Or lesbian. With Tara. Tara and I are gay together or . . . how do you explain it?" she asked Tara.

Smiling, and also trying not to blush, Tara leaned across the table. "Just say we're in love," whispered the brunette.

"Yeah, we're in love," Willow giggled. "And you don't have to like it, but we'd both like it if you accepted it."

Reaching for the bottle of wine, Giles cleared his throat. "Does anyone else have some announcements to share before we start with the pie?"

"My front tooth is wiggly," Meredith offered, her mouth full of potatoes.

"Very good? Anything else?"

Cordelia raised her hand, a smile on her face. "Xander owes me twenty bucks. I saw this coming two months ago."

Xander didn't reply, except to grumble as he threw a wadded twenty-dollar bill in Cordelia's direction.


Celestria-17- Calm down on the drugs, honey! Don't expect the makeup sex anytime soon, if there even is going to be any. (Cue the "duh duh DUH" music) Nah, just kidding. Or am I?

Kori Hime- It's OK to feel sorry for Angel. It's not his fault he's a prick. And don't pout, even though there wasn't a Spike appearance in this chapter. Stupid flamers. Need to get hit in the . . . well, I'll let you decide.

Mita427- "Sweet, dumb ass country prick"? I like it! Probably the reason Angel sings country music is because he's stupid. And a "poofter". If you don't like it that there was no Spikey-ness in this chapter, you can pretend there was. Or, you can say sexily until you go to the bad, or good considering how you look at it, good place.

Tobert- Sorry for getting your hopes up, but no Spuffy. And probably no Spuffy next chapter. Please don't hurt me . . .

Wolf116- I can't kill Angel, because I need him in a few chapters. Not for a romance thing, because . . . ew? Yeah, flames are just stupid, especially when they aren't signed. It's kinda cowardly. But, I've gotten you to join the "I Hate Angel" bandwagon for this story, so hurrah!

Imzadi- It's really hard to pretend that Angel has a good singing voice. Remember Angel and Conner's special Jasmine-rendition of "Mandy"? That one had me cringing for at least a week. Oh, and the standing ovation? Thank you very much. Keep it coming, if you please. Kidding.

Psychovampgurl- Well, now that I think about it, we should get Sigfried and Roy to also play, because we'd get a lot of publicity because Roy got chewed on by his tiger. It'd be like a reunion, and we could have them donate a tiger to attack the many Pro-Homework people we can expect on the other side of the street. I guess, at present count, I have about five chapters left. Seeing how I'm back in school, the chappies will come quicker. Love ya too!

Lovefromthefire- Oh god! I didn't think about that! Sorry to everyone who had the slightest thought that Giles and Buffy were going to hook up. I mean . . . sick! After "Tabula Rasa", I became a Giles/Anya shipper, at least when she wasn't with Xander. Poor Giles needs some lovin' too, even if he is kinda old.

Karmawiccan- "Finally" !?! You make it sound like it's been forever! Well, it has been forever, but that's beside the point. You wanna join the "I Hate Angel" club for this story? It's five dollars. But, be warned, I hope to make him at least tolerable soon, and the money is non-refundable. Waiting sucks, I know, but I have everything planned out, and I swear you are going to love it.

Lurking-in-the-shadows- Poop on Angel! Or, I should say, fuck him up his ass! (Pardon my French) Angel doesn't deserve sympathy, unless he says he's sorry. And buys her flowers. And a house. And a yacht. And sacrifices his life to give her money. I like the "pleasant cream filled chocolate bunny moments" idea. But, just the term. Not the actual practice of it, because it can become too messy.

Chrestomanci- Here is what I say to you: Whatever. Whatever. I do what I want. Come on over and punch me, for all I care. I'm rubber, and you are glue. Whatever you say . . . does something else to you and karma comes in and . . . yeah, that's it! Kisses!

Iselyn- Personally, Angel just needs to be hated, especially when he's in his brooding state. He was OK on his own show, but that was because he wasn't "Buffy's Romantic Guy". Except, we got Riley, who was 100 worse. Oh, and thanks for your anti-flame-girl speech. She's quite special.

Amy- Um, please don't die. That would be sad. But thank you very much for the compliments. It gives me "pleasant cream filled chocolate bunny" feelings.

Sokkerblondie005- Well, Buffy would have gotten with Spike even if she hadn't died. They were on the slow road to a relationship. Her death only managed to twist her feelings into a search for comfort and escape. Is that philosophical enough for you, bi-atch? HUH? Oh yeah, Angel is in touch with his feminine side, ever time he . . . well, you can fill that in. How should I finish this bitch slap? WORD! Love ya!

Mari- Wow! I'm not a god! Don't look to me to fulfill your wants! Just be calm, and serene, and have nasty, dirty Spuffy fantasies every night before you go to bed.

SunnyD- Do you love me enough to buy me a pony? Kidding. This is kinda weird, because I had just gotten done re-reading "Twilight" when I got your review. Very exciting! But thank you very much.

Mac- I don't know whether to say "Thank you" or "How rude" (think Stephanie from "Full House"). The comments about the drug flashbacks, hack writer, and "desperate for the storyline" kinda put me off at first, then I realized you were congratulating me. Yeah, I'm not too good with the spelling, and I obviously don't have a beta, but I'm not doing this to get published. If I were, I'd be whoring a lot more. Also, as you can see, I like responding to reviews. This is to let everyone know that I did read the reviews, and I understand the feedback. But, anyway, thanks for the review, and I hope you like the story as I start to end it.