Disclaimer: I don't own Billie Letts' "Where the Heart Is", or Joss Whedon's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Rating: This will be rated R! Sorry kiddies, but I like using inappropriate language, and the sex.

Author's Notes: See below.

PS: Hi all!

Chapter Thirty- Saying Sorry

Children like water. Taking care of the combined eighty-five kids of her friends (OK, six including Aurora and the new Harris twins) got Buffy to understand that. They don't like it in a bath sense, because it involves cleaning, but otherwise, it's all good.

So, when children are being tiny little demons who won't sit still for FIVE GOD DAMNED SECONDS . . . put them in the backyard, and give them the hose.

" . . . And you can come inside when it's time for more cake," Buffy finished, shutting the glass door behind the kids, the hose already in Meredith's hands as she ran after Holden and Aurora, tiny Sydney toddling behind her big sister.

Buffy turned around in her kitchen to survey the disaster that was the remnants of Aurora's fifth birthday party. Wads of the Sunnydale Times on the floor, cake under the table, markers and tape attached to places she would never have dreamed of. Sighing, she began to pick the scattered "Finding Nemo" cake plates. Tara and Willow joined in with the cleaning, both picking up the heaps of newspaper (it had been Buffy's intention to keep the mess down, but it backfired).

Only Cordelia stayed out of the tidying. It had only been a month since she grudgingly went to the hospital to deliver her twin baby boys, Keith and Mick Harris.

(Yes, they were named after the Rolling Stones guys.)

(No, Cordelia was on a lot of drugs when the doctor asked what to name the boys, and Xander answered for her.)

(Yes, Xander would be in trouble for the rest of his life.)

So she got to sit all cushy-like in a chair, although both the boys were clamped to her boobs for their 2 PM feeding.

"The funny thing, Cordy," Willow said with a laugh, watching the brunette playing the part of the milking cow, "You get to go through about four times as many parties, so lots and lots of fun for you!"

Cordelia gave the redhead a heinous look. "Fu . . . screw you!"

Laughing, Buffy joined in. "No, she'd have to stop having the kids, and then it'd only be four."

"Screw you both!" Then, an evil gleam appeared in her eyes. "At least I'm not expecting death and disaster within 24 hours . . ."

That suddenly had Buffy sobering. "STOP RIGHT THERE! Don't say anything! No more talking of . . . b-a-d l-u-c-k," she finished with a whisper.

Willow kept laughing. "You can't believe in the superstitious '5' thing anymore, Buffy. Nothing is going to happen."

"Oh, thank you Willow." Buffy threw the collection of used paper plates over her head, then collapsed into a chair. "You've gone ahead and cursed everything."

"I did not."

"Did so! Aurora lost her hair at five weeks. She got lost totally at five months. I was hoping at least a '5' birthday was going to go smooth, that she'd have one normal birthday, but you just had to go and jinx it!"

"You're too paranoid," Cordelia tried to reason. "Just because everything's gone wrong in the past doesn't mean it'll be bad this time."

"Um . . . guys?" Tara interrupted, staring at one of the sheets of crumpled newspaper.

"Yeah, baby?" Willow came up to her from behind, and read what was in Tara's hands. Almost immediately, her face blanched.

Buffy reached for the paper. "What is it?"

Tara swallowed hard. "I guess you really do have bad luck."

POLICE REPORT- July 12th

A man, identified as Liam Metatron, was found unconscious in the Shell Station restroom on 26th and Pine. He apparently collapsed in one of the restroom stalls and was not discovered until late Tuesday.

According to Metatron, who left Colorado two weeks ago, he had been hitchhiking towards southern California to search for his child and the child's mother, whom he had not seen since 1997.

Metatron, who lost his right arm in a train accident, was admitted to Woodburn Hospital and treated for dehydration, exhaustion, and was diagnosed with low-grade Hepatitis C. He remains in stable condition.

The hospital smell, a combination of cleaning solvents and sterile air, assaulted Buffy's nose as she entered through the sliding doors of Woodburn Hospital, located half an hour away from Sunnydale. She walked down the hall, as nurses slowly passed by her. They weren't in a hurry, and a few were cracking jokes while sipping on the obviously gross hospital coffee.

She wished she could be so carefree, but all the joy from the afternoon and Rory's party had quickly faded when Tara showed her the newspaper. At first, she thought it was a mistake. But, what other Liam would be heading in the direction of Sunnydale in search of his missing ex-girlfriend and kid?

Angel was back, and he had been looking for her. Her and Aurora.

The nurse at the front desk hesitated a second before telling Buffy where his room was, until Buffy explained that they were family. Well, in a way, sort of.

Buffy rode the elevator to the fifth floor, turned left, and went down the hall, searching for room 5-15.

Sure, of course he'd be in a five room, stupid bastard, she thought to herself as she knocked twice, then entered the room.

It was a small, bare room, painted that annoying shade of taupe psychologist think calms people. Of course, these shrinks didn't have to deal with confronting their ex for the first time in five (Again?) years.

He was sleeping in the only bed in the room, dead to the world thanks to heavy amounts of medication. Buffy was shocked to see how horrible he looked. Angel had been so good looking, tall and muscular. He was an amazingly gorgeous site, enough to make any girl weep for joy. All that was left of him was a skeletal frame, held only together by skin, which was straining in order to keep his body intact. His thick brown hair, which he had taken such great pride in, was shortened in an extreme crew cut. It even looked like he was bald in parts of his scalp.

Terrified, she turned around, choking back her desire to sob. She did not want to be here, or to do this. All she wanted was to run away and forget about Angel for the rest of her life.

Angel's breathing, which had been slow and even, suddenly picked up, culminating in a gasp.

"I DON'T HEAR IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Suddenly, he sat up in bed. The veins in his neck, which were noticeable through his translucent skin, stood out as he screamed. Buffy backed up against the wall, holding her purse in front of her for protection in case he was manic.

The rage left him bit by bit, and he lowered himself on to the pillow in a snail-like pace, the opposite of his horrifying spectacle. His eyes also seemed to clear up out of the delusion as he stared about the room, exhausted from his display.

His gaze crossed over Buffy smoothly, as if he didn't see her. It took him a moment before he realized that he was not alone in the room, and then went back to her, staring like he had no idea who she was. She lowered her purse at the same rate recognition sparked in his once-brown orbs, which had dimmed with years of heavy drinking and personal destruction.

"B-b . . ." He stuttered with the words, unable to put them on his tongue. "B-Buffy?"

It was with an innocent amazement that he gazed at her, and Buffy felt as awkward as the first time he looked at her. But that time, he had only been thinking lustful thoughts.

Her first instinct was to take her purse, chuck it at his stupid head, then beat him to death with a blunt object so he could understand how miserable he made her. But, she was a mature adult now, and couldn't let emotions take her over.

"Angel." It was a civil enough greeting, but the ice in her voice was palpable to anyone listening.

"I . . . you're really here?" He propped himself up on his elbow, and the effort was obviously straining, and Buffy had to hold herself back from helping him.

"I should ask what the fuck you're doing here. You gonna let me know?"

She waited for an answer, but he was oblivious to the question, shaking his head as he repeated over and over, "Amazing." While he had been gone, he had developed a slight accent; a soft drawl that managed to slur syllables together. What in the hell had Angel been doing?

"Angel," she repeated, waiting for him to look back at her. "Why are you here?"

"I came to find you."

"Where were you planning to look?" She asked, the ice in her voice cracking.

Confused, he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't . . . um, I was gonna start-"

"You thought that I'd still be at the Wal-Mart, waiting in the parking lot?" Tears formed in the corners of her eyes. "You're late, you stupid fucking bastard," she whispered.

"Buffy, I just wanted to see you. You, and the baby."

His words were pure and without intention, but they backfired when she murderously glared at him.

"The baby?"

Worried, his face dropped. "There was a baby, wasn't there? Nothing happened to it?"

She took pity on his distress. "The baby's fine."

"Was it a girl or boy? Whad ja name it?" He fired off the questions, energy suddenly appearing from nowhere.

"It was a girl, I named her Aurora. Aurora Rose Summers. And if you try to take her away, I will find you, take you to the middle of some forest, and do such horrible things to your body they'd throw me in prison for years!"

"What?" he yelled.

"You've always managed to steal everything important to me, it'd only make sense that you'd run away with the one thing I love most in this world!"

The face, that anger that had at times both frightened and aroused Buffy long ago, was back as he straightened himself out on the bed.

"Exactly how am I supposed to do that?" he shot back at her. "How am I supposed to run away with her when I can barely pick her up!"

He waived his right arm at her, a little stump barely peaking out of the sleeve of his blue hospital gown. The end was covered in a sterile, white bandage.

She had forgotten about his arm. The newspaper had mentioned an accident with his arm, and she felt a little bad for forgetting it.

Sighing, Angel turned away from her, looking out the half-open window. The sun was starting to set, and he let the light from it bathe his face, closing his eyes in the warmth.

"I'm not here to take . . . Aurora. God, that's an absolutely beautiful name." He looked back at Buffy, something small glittering in his eyes. "Do you have a picture of her? I know that you probably don't want to . . . but, I've thought about her constantly for the past few years, and I just want to know if I've pictured her right."

It was that look in his eyes, a fragility she never thought could exist in him, that began to thaw her protective shield. She took her wallet out of her purse, and removed the small photo of Aurora that she showed everyone, and put it in Angel's outstretched hand.

A tear trickled down his cheek as he memorized the picture. It was Buffy's favorite. Aurora had been running around the yard, her superhero cape billowing behind her. Then, she had stopped, and ran over to Buffy's rose tree, and leaned over to sniff one of the blooming blossoms. Buffy had caught that moment, Rory leaning over to catch a whiff of the perfume, the sunlight glowing through her unbrushed chocolate-brown hair.

"She gorgeous," he whispered, still studying the picture. "She looks just like you."

Blushing, Buffy searched again in her wallet, looking for any picture of the girl and handing them to Angel. "Here's a few more of her," she explained, "But I like that one the best."

He went through the small pile of photos slowly, getting a glimpse into the life Buffy had accidentally fallen into, while Buffy explained the situation and other people in them. The ages varied, from the baby picture the hospital had taken of her, to only a month ago. Some were from holidays, the little girl dressed up and shining brightly into the camera. A few were candid shots from around the house; her playing in the backyard, taking a bath, or getting breakfast all over her face.

And in a good majority, Aurora was with her family. All of the kids in their bathing suits eating ice cream, chocolate dripping down their smiling faces. Aurora helping Willow open up her birthday present, Willow's head thrown back with laughter. Aurora wearing Xander's police hat and shooting him with a Nerf gun. Joyce rocking baby Aurora to sleep. Tara and Cordelia painting Aurora's face for Halloween. Anya and Giles making Christmas dinner while Aurora stole bits of the cranberry sauce.

While she had said the rose tree one was the one she adored, Buffy realized she had another favorite as she pulled it out. She had forgotten all about it, and smiled at the memory of it. She had taken it when Rory was three, right after Joyce had died. Out of nowhere, Spike decided to stay with them for the next few days, so Buffy could get on her feet. She had gone out one evening to get Chinese takeout, but had been delayed longer because the order had gotten lost. When she got home, Spike had fallen asleep with Aurora on the couch, the tiny girl curled up next to him as he held her. Buffy snuck away, got out her camera, and took the picture. No one but her knew she had the picture.

"I want to tell you something," Angel suddenly said, breaking Buffy out of her daydream.

"What?"

He sighed. "I lied."

She was confused, and he read the confusion off her expression.

"Our last day together," he explained, "I lied about feeling the baby kick. My life has been all about making the good moments into shit. Did you know that I wrote a song? Well, it doesn't belong to me anymore because I threw it away. That's all I've done with these last five years. Now you, you have a great life, and you have Aurora, the beautiful little girl I threw away because I'm an idiot.

"When I left you behind, I guess I was in denial or something. I didn't want to be a father and be responsible, but now I see that it was the biggest mistake of my life. That lie managed to destroy my life, and I'm going to regret it until I die. Saying sorry is about all I can do, even though it doesn't fix anything and I don't want you to forgive me. I'm sorry. I felt Aurora kick, and I lied to you. I'm very sorry.

"You only get one chance to say you're sorry, Buffy, and if you don't take it, it'll be gone forever."

Hi everyone. It's time for me to say I'm sorry. These past few months have been completely exhausting, and I haven't been able to find the time to write, much less read fan fiction.

I feel so deprived!

I've gotten all the notes from concerned people, and everything is fine with me. Just count up my lack of updates and all to laziness and other time commitments. I'd rather you pick the latter one, but it's more realistic to go with the first one.

As for the rest of this story, I have 1 and ½ chapters archived. The final chapter is just waiting to be written, and I think I can pop it out this weekend, and save the updates for all next week. This story has taken a ridiculous amount of time, and I apologize for it.

I'm not sure what's going to happen with "Most Rare Vision". For the longest time, I just haven't been inspired to write any more for it. I'm going to try, truthfully I am, but sometimes the muses wander away.

Due to the fact that it's been a while, I'm not going to respond to reviews this post like I normally do. Please don't think that I don't love you! I love all of you. The fact is, if I don't post now, I'm not sure I'll do it.

Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, and the three others to follow, because . . . well, I just hope you all do.

Kisses,

Lily-bug!