Chapter 3
The rest of the week flew by, and Lily found herself surprised when she woke up on Saturday morning. The days had arrived all too quickly. She had been so caught up in the whirlwind of discovering her feelings for James that the first week of school had rushed by, and now she found herself facing her first date with John.
Most definitely not looked forward to.
She sighed and ignored the jumble of thoughts in her head, all of which gave conflicting views on how to handle her mixed emotions. She lay back and relaxed, tilting her head to the left so that she could look out of the window.
The sky was a beautiful, clear shade of robin's egg blue. From up in Gryffindor tower, that was all that she could see by just looking out from her bed. It made her depressed, really, thinking to herself that the only way that she could look now was down.
Quickly, she swung her long, pale legs out from underneath the covers and placed her elbows on her knees, head on her hands. Feeling lightheaded, she stayed like that for a while, keeping her eyes focused on the bone jutting out both of her knee joints, staring at them, slightly repulsed by the image. Her lips were slightly open, with short, unsteady bursts of breath coming out sporadically. She felt like she was half dead.
Lily knew that if she didn't get moving, she would stay in bed all day. She pushed herself out of the tangle of comforter and sheets and headed for the door, picking up a bathrobe along the way and slipped her feet into some white flip-flops, yawning and scratching her head. She glanced at the clock, reading the time.
8:47
It was late; she had missed breakfast with John. Lily looked around the empty room and grabbed a parchment and quill, writing out a quick message to him.
John,
I'm sorry, but I've woken up only now and need to take a bath. I don't want to keep you waiting; I'll meet you at the Three Broomsticks at 11:30 in Hogsmeade.
Lily
With a quick charm, she sent it flying off for the Great Hall looking for John and grabbed her bag of toiletries. She then walked out the door and down the stairs to the common room, wanting to take a nice bath in the Head's bathroom.
Rushing down the corridor, she reached the Head Girl's bathroom. Muttering the password ("Aquavenous"), she slipped inside the portrait of a siren and let out a soft sigh of appreciation. Now this was luxury.
The bathroom was floored entirely with marble, and the sinks were marble as well. One half of the floor was a full body shower, while the other side had a huge sunken bath with many taps, much like the Prefect's bathroom.
Lily looked from the shower to the bath, unable to decide which to use, before finally settling on the shower. She kicked off her flip-flops and tossed her bathrobe off to the side and wriggled out of her blue, baggy shirt. All she had on now was her light pink boy cut panties, and wearing these, she turned on the shower before turning to look at herself in the full length mirror that stood propped up against the wall.
With her head leaning slightly to the side, she gave herself the once over, starting with her hips, down her legs (not bad, a little wide in the thighs, but nice calves), up to her chest (hopeless, nearly nonexistent), and to her shoulders and neck (slender, nice enough), to her face and hair.
Ah, the hair. Lily had found that her hair both repulsed and drew her in by turns, depending on how she felt. When she was happy, her hair glowed and sparkled vivaciously, and she loved the deep color. When she was depressed or worried or anything besides content, like now, she cursed her hair, feeling as if it were the color of blood, rusty and harsh against the paleness of her unblemished skin. Even when she was tan the rigid difference between her skin and hair was grating to her eyes. She dropped her eyes to her own shoulder, not her reflection, and looked at the hair that fell half way down her chest, thinking, rather morbidly, that it looked as if she were oozing copious amounts of blood from her head.
Disgusted by her own self-pity, she stripped off her underwear and opened the door to the shower, and was at once greeted by a cloud of steam. Smiling at the warm, enveloping feeling, she left the door open so as not to choke on all the thick air and soaked her hair. Sitting down on the floor of the large shower (it must have been the size of at the very least three or four regular sized showers) she brought her knees to her chest and hugged them close, putting her right cheek on the top of her legs. The floor underneath her was rough and made up of many small tiles of rock, placed slightly unevenly. She felt immensely naked because of the vastness of the shower, but the heavy steam managed to keep her warm, like a heavy blanket.
She wasn't sure how long she sat there like that, but it felt comforting, and she didn't want to leave.
It was eleven now, and Lily was finally ready to head out for Hogsmeade. She'd sat in the shower for nearly an hour and a half and had only spent the last fifteen minutes getting dressed. Rather haphazardly, she'd pulled on a pair of over size jeans, her scruffy black studded motorcycle boots underneath and her favorite white t-shirt under old black jacket. She hoped that she didn't look too much like a hobo.
Before heading back out of her dorm again, she looked back around her room, and her eyes lighted on her wallet. Hurriedly, she reached out and grabbed it before racing out and slamming the door shut behind her.
She reached Hogsmeade in twenty minutes, and as she entered the Three Broomsticks, she felt all eyes, at least, all male eyes, turn towards her. It was always like this. Her vivid hair attracted a lot of attention, all of it unwanted. Keeping her head down and eyes averted, she walked towards the bar, occasionally looking up to see if she could spot John.
Or James. Preferably James actually. Because with him, she didn't feel the need to act so terribly fake.
John sat by himself, towards the very back corner of the restaurant. He had seen Lily walk in, and now he waited for a good moment to walk up to her. His eyes were shadowed slightly by the odd lighting, and he decided to wait for a few more minutes before speaking with his girlfriend.
He felt immensely lucky to be going out with Lily, the girl of many of her male classmate's and underclassmen's dreams. It was a large part of the reason why he'd asked her out. He enjoyed the jealous attention he received when he walked down the hall by her side, and he liked the feeling of superiority it gave him.
Yes, it was shallow, but who cared? It wasn't like this was going to last for very long anyways. Once he shagged her, what else would there be to do? Give or take a couple months, but this relationship wouldn't last past March.
He was seventeen for Merlin's sake.
"Lily!"
Quickly, she spun around, recognizing John's voice.
"Hey! My gosh, I'm so sorry for having to change the time to now, but I was so tired that I didn't wake up until nine-ish, and I wanted a long bath, you know?" She looked up at him, a guilty look in her eyes.
This is your boyfriend, remember?«That's alright. But I have to tell you, I've got to go at 12:30; my Quidditch captain scheduled a practice today, and he only told us this morning.» He glanced over at her. «You don't mind, do you?»
Lily shrugged, slightly relieved that she only had to spend an hour with John. Their conversations were becoming increasingly monotonous, filled mostly with the kind of pleasant chatter that was filled with silly details, the kind of information that had no relevance whatsoever.
Inwardly, she sighed, thanking Merlin for Quidditch and the many practices it required.
The Marauders were waiting outside of the Three Broomsticks for Sirius' date Anna to come out of the washroom. It had been an excessively annoying afternoon, mostly spent walking ahead of Sirius and Anna, trying desperately to tune out the inane giggles made by the girl.
James wondered what the hell Sirius was wasting his time with the girl for. James knew that Sirius didn't really like Anna, and it was annoying that Sirius would just date any available girl as long as they were pretty enough.
At least they're available, and not dating someone else.
This thought rang through his head as though it were made by a particularly large bell, pealing out in waves, mocking him.
Don't think about that, he thought to himself. Lily likes you. She'll come around.
Well, speak of the Devil.
Exiting the small bar was Lily. She was walking out right behind John, who was holding the door open for her. She looked marvelously disinterested in whatever he was saying, but turned around and kissed him on the cheek before waving a dismissive hand of goodbye. John then turned and walked away, back up to Hogwarts, while Lily, with her back turned away from James, relaxed. He watched in interest as she slumped her shoulders in apparent relief.
James stalked over, his hands in his jean pockets and for some reason, incredibly nervous.
«Lily.»
The speed with which she turned around was astonishing. When her eyes met his, both of them felt a spark of delight and warmth travel through their bodies.
«What are you doing here?» she asked. Her hair was being pushed away from her face by the wind, her cheeks whipped into a slight pink. Her lips were a deep cherry, and her eyes, so startlingly, arrestingly green, were wide with delight.
He smiled down at her and said, "Right now, I'm here because I want to be with you."
For the past few nights, they had patrolled together, always finishing at the Astronomy tower with rushed- she wasn't sure what actually. Not hugs, that sounded too mundane. Their embraces were more panicked and frenzied than that. Clutching at each other, always, their hands drifting up and down each other's backs, up to their hair, down each others' lower backs and in his case, down to her bottom, softly appreciating and learning each others' bodies without actually doing anything else. However, it seemed much more erotic than sex because it was always done in near silence, with their short, gasping breaths the only noise in the background.
Lily flushed a deeper shade of red, pleasantly surprised by the intimacy of his comment. She whispered, "Do you want to go for a walk?"
His smile widened, his teeth flashing in a beautiful contrast against the relatively tan skin of his face. "Yea, that would be nice." He looked over his shoulder at his friends. "Oy! Sirius! I'm heading off; I'll see you later." Without waiting for a reply he took Lily by the elbow and steered her away towards the road that lead to the Shrieking Shack.
Lily gaped at him in surprise. "Why are you headed this way? This house is haunted-"
James stopped her in the middle of her sentence. "No, it's not. Trust me. But I want to be left alone, and this is the best place to sit by ourselves with no one watching." He turned abruptly into a small clearing in the woods that Lily had not even noticed, and would probably walked right past without knowing where James had disappeared to had he not pulled her in along with him.
He let go of her arm, and shoved his hands back into his pockets, watching her nervously as she looked around.
The small area was surrounded completely by trees, and was well secluded. The leafy foliage that hid the pair was thick and woven together tightly. Lily liked that it was so well hidden. She felt safe here, alone with just James.
Lily turned back to James again, feeling his eyes on her. She trained her eyes on his lips, then up his nose to his eyes, and then back down to his lips again.
She hadn't kissed him yet. She'd been much too terrified to do so, partly because if she did so, it would be like she was admitting that this whole terrible mess was really happening. She was really cheating on her boyfriend, something that she wanted to avoid, and simultaneously, wanted to do very, very badly.
But now, looking at him standing across from him, she knew that she wanted, more than anything, to kiss him. Lily wanted James to know that she wanted him.
Walking slowly, crossing the distance between them cautiously, she approached him, twisting her fingers nervously in front of her chest.
They were only a few inches apart now, half a foot at the most. She could smell him, that distinctly strong scent: not sharp, but solid, crisp, and cool, evoking a feeling almost as if she were running her hands over a smooth piece of flint under the shade of a tree. She could picture herself, when she was so close beside him, breathing in his smell, in a place that was exotic, perhaps under a waterfall. She trembled now, thinking about that. She was going crazy, and it was because of him.
I don't mind then, if he's the reason why I'm losing my mind.
Slowly, with trembling fingers she placed her arms around his neck. James didn't move; he let her do what she wanted. When he stayed still, she moved her arms still closer around him and reached up, with her head to the right of his. Tilting her head over so that she could see his neck, she found herself presented, merely an inch away, with an expanse of his tantalizing, warm skin. Without further hesitation, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his neck, just a simple, delicate kiss, her lips against his skin, and kept them there for a moment before pulling away.
She was gasping, and so was he. He had his arms around her waist, his hands on her lower back.
Remember this. Remember this moment. Think about how this feels.
The air around her face was cool and refreshing, she felt light and slightly invigorated by the feeling of his skin. Her head was spinning with pleasure and she felt as if she might faint. The smells around her had also become more poignant; everything around her had changed. Her senses had been heightened exponentially.
Leaning back in she kissed his neck again. And again.
They could take this slowly because they had all the time in the world. They could savor this, and take the kind of pleasure in it that neither of them had had before.
It felt good to be alive.
James couldn't believe it. Despite the many other heated kisses he'd shared with girls, none were on par with this simple kiss, just her lips against his neck. It was barely even a real kiss, and yet it meant so much more.
He could hardly breath; this was Lily, the one he'd wanted for years.
She was kissing his neck more deeply now, slowly, painfully, and he couldn't bare to not kiss her himself.
His breaths were harsh, and he willed himself to move. He moved his hands up her back to shoulders to her neck, where he carefully tilted her head up to him.
There was no pause. He leaned his head forward and down; the gentle pressure of her lips was agonizing. He pulled back again, before dropping a kiss onto her forehead, making a line down to her temple, and from there he started down her cheekbone. Once done that, he kissed her brow bone, placing his hands over her cheeks and his thumbs on either side of her nose.
He left his lips there, breathing against her skin, just appreciating their closeness.
His last kiss he saved, knowing not to spend it freely, and to use it wisely. He kissed her on the mouth again, softly and slowly, savoring it as he would an especially sweet strawberry.
They stayed that way for a long time, venturing into each other's hearts and souls.
Review Responses:
Boy-Crazy Bookworm: Hi, thanks for the review, I've updated, had a bit of trouble, sorry!
Mrsjesspotter: Thanks! That's very nice of you. I'm going to put Ch. 4 up before the week is through, I think. I have the idea in my head now, so the rest is easy.
Celina Black: Ah! I've read the Shopaholic series, but not Can You Keep a Secret? Ermmm I can't understand your email addy. You just leave it at "" and I don't know which server to email you at!
Daman5: haha, thanks for the advice with the squiggles; I used a dash for the breaks. Merci, merci!
Hpjsr: Fantastic review, thanks so much. Um, the whole awkward thing was the most fun to write because it happens to me SO OFTEN. Haha, yea, good fun.
Alex C. Potter: James got a kiss this time! But it's not all going to be fairy tales…bum bum bum
Miss Confidante: Thanks for the John comment, and here's my reasoning behind his lack of development:
Lily doesn't care for him, and she doesn't bother to get to know him as anything other than a face. He's not a nice guy, and part of why he is going out with her was explained here, and the rest is coming up!
Greengrl: Yup, yup, yup! It's far from realistic, setting-wise, but feelings are the same in everyone! Haha, well they finally kissed! It was actually tres difficult for me to write…not sure why, though.
BubbleAngel: This is an interesting comment, because everyone else seems to think that it's moving nice and slow! Please explain. If it's because of Lily's change of feelings, you'll notice that in the first chapter I mentioned that she had already changed most of her feelings for James, and that she thought him nice and mature.
PalinPotter: Haha, don't worry, I'm continuing!
Jkreviewer: Thanks for the help, I'll check out that story, thanks!
