A/N: Just so you know, 2 people write this. That was random. Anyway, the really big plot is in the next chapter. We don't own the Smallville characters.

Lex, The Pretty Pretty Princess

The power had been out for almost 4 hours. Clark sat on a folding chair and thought of his near brush with death. Not only had the power gone out, the cell phones didn't seem to work either. The school had gotten new electronic doors that could only lock when the one and only button on the one and only remote was pressed. The principle had the remote, but couldn't find it for the life of him. Clark had tried to open the doors, and even a few windows, but someone had nailed strips of kryptonite to the walls near them. Each time he would've surely died if his parents hadn't been there. There were a few emergency lights on in the cafeteria where the dance was held.

Clark had spent the first two hours avoiding Chloe, until she had finally fallen asleep in a folding chair. Lex and gotten bored about 3 and a half hours ago and had a soda chugging contest. Lex won by one cup. Final scores: Lex, 846 cups of soda. Jonathan, 845. Boosted by their abnormally high sugar level, they were now having a break dancing contest. Lex was starting.

"Go Luthor! Go Luthor! Go, go! Go Luthor!" Lex sang as he danced. His scores were up. 0 read the first one. 0.then the final score went up. 1. Jonathan started. He sang a similar, er…melody, but used Kent in place of Luthor. Clark inched his chair away from his friend and father. Jonathan's scores went up. 0,0,2.

"IN YOUR FACE, LUTHOR!" Yelled Jonathan with a maniacal laugh.

"Come on, dear." Martha sighed, dragging Jonathan away. One tranquilizer shot later, Jonathan was out cold in a folding chair. Clark stood up and milled around aimlessly, observing the shine of his shoes. They were so shiny he could see his reflection.

"Hmmm, I don't look too bad," he thought. "I mean, look at my finely chiseled chin, and my glittering blue eyes…" He went on for a few minutes, then realized he was talking out loud. He backed away from the crowd which was watching him. Now was a good time to look for Lex. Clark spotted Lex next to the punch bowl, talking to the hot new teacher, Ms. Collins. Just to make sure, Clark eavesdropped onto the conversation.

"So, Lorelei, do you want to go out Friday night?" asked Lex, trying to look like he was hot my slicking back his …um…head, I guess. He doesn't have any hair. This was a good time to cut in.

"Come on, Lex." Clark whisper shouted. "Lex! That is way too wrong for a PG rated story! I mean, your engaged! About to be married! And besides, she's 23. Like, ewww! Are you gonna be a good boy, or will you have to go into the isolation chamber?"

"NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! NOT THE ISOLATION CHAMBER! ANYTHING BUT THAT! NOOOO!" Lex ran away crying like a sissy school girl.

"What's wrong with Lex?" Whitney asked as he walked up to Clark.

"He's going through a over caffeinated –wedding jitters- middle age crisis thingy."

"Oh. Well anyway. I'm really bored. I found the game Pretty Pretty Princess in the football room. Not like us manly football players play it! I mean, were pretty sure, I mean positive, of our masculinity. But, I'm pretty bored. Do you wanna play it?"

Clark cringed at the thought. How could he be bored with a girlfriend like Lana?

"OH! OH! I LOVE THAT GAME! I ALWAYS BEAT MY DAD! LET ME PLAY!" Lex screamed, darting to the crowd and hopping up and down enthusiastically. Everyone stared.

"Um…I thought you said Man-Eating Malevolent Princess game." Said Lex, looking embarrassed. Clark smiled. He and Pete were much more manly than the football players. They had stopped playing Pretty Pretty Princess a whole week ago. Suddenly, the intercom buzzed and a raspy voice floated through the air.

"I'm coming in 2 hours…"