Like Wildfire

By Ellie J.

Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda. Not mine. Blah, blah, blah. Don't sue.

A/N: Wow. 60 reviews. Thanks.

Part 6: Crazy Carrie

I look at the mirror and adjust my cleavage to its best advantage. I look good if I do say so myself. My zebra print stretchy top and black mini skirt are emphasizing all of the right curves. Today is the day. It's the day where I go and finally get some Luke Lovin'.

I have wanted Luke "Butch" Danes since I was fourteen and first became friends with Liz. I remember going to her house to hang out just on the off chance that I would see him walking in from track practice. Sometimes I would pretend to leave after he came in so that I could climb the tree outside of his window and watch him get undressed. All I can say is that teenaged Luke had the finest ass in Stars Hollow, and from what I could tell during Fiddler, he still does.

I wasn't the only one of Liz's friends who had a crush on Luke. He was (and is) so quietly intense. We couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have all of that energy focused on you while you were making out in the back of a car. We all decided back then and there that Luke would definitely take good care of a woman.

Liz would get sick of all of us asking questions about him and what he was like and the kind of girls that he dated. She would leave the room and tell us to call her when we were done talking about the probable sexual prowess of her brother. These absences provided us with the opportunity to take turns sneaking into his bedroom to steal stuff. I personally had three pairs of boxers, an old school ID, a bottle of his cologne and a comb with some strands of hair in it.

We may all have had crushes on him, but I was the only one with guts enough to do anything about it. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was after the Homecoming game and I followed Luke behind the bleachers. He had been drinking during the game and had gone back there to take a quick leak. Luke had just zipped up his pants when I called out his name. He turned around and looked a little confused to see me there, but that didn't stop me. I went right up to him, grabbed him and gave him a big kiss. He responded! I know he responded for a second before he pushed me away and ran back out to the field. For one brief second I was the focus of all of that intensity and it was fabulous. Afterwards he pretended that it never happened, but I knew differently.

I've fantasized about him over the years, and I believe that now is my best opportunity to finally finish what we started back behind the bleachers. There's nothing stopping us. My husband knows that I don't believe in monogamy, and Luke is no longer seeing that ditzy bulimic, Lorelai Gilmore. (I've seen her eat. She's got to have some sort of eating disorder). Everyone in town thinks that he's grumpy because he misses that skinny little airhead. Please. He's just used to regularly getting some action, and is responding to being cut off cold turkey. Anyone would be grouchy under those circumstances.

That Lorelai Gilmore! She ruined my plan to 'comfort' Luke during the play. He was the whole reason I volunteered to direct the stupid thing! Like I would willingly spend that much time with so many third graders. I tried to talk to him during rehearsals, but his little assistants never left his side. I thought that I would have my chance during the actual play, but Ms. Gilmore - the little attention hog - ruined that plan with her presence.

Today is different though. My sources tell me that Luke has reached the breaking point. His sexual frustration is so bad that he's literally throwing people out of his diner. My plan is to go into the diner, walk up to him and tell him that I know he has an itch and that I'm willing to scratch it. No strings. Then that's it. I get a full day of Luke pounding out his sexual frustrations. Yummy.

I finish inspecting my reflection and spray perfume on some of my hot spots. It's time for me to go. I smile the entire drive to the diner just thinking about the day I have planned.

I first notice that something is wrong as I walk up to the diner. There are people in it. According to my sources – except for that freak, Kirk – Lukes was empty all yesterday evening. But I look in the windows and I see at least four couples happily eating.

I walk into the diner and the first thing I see is Kirk yelling at the top of his voice, "Spread the word! Luke Danes and Lorelai Gilmore have reconciled! Return your ribbons here!"

Disappointment is too weak a word to describe the emotion that flows through me. I grit my teeth to keep myself from screaming out in aggravation. Luke looks up from his counter and sees me. His eyes widen a bit and he calls out to that little Asian waitress of his that he's going in the back.

I just stand there frozen in frustration until a voice brings me back to reality.

"Can I help you?" It's the waitress.

"No," I answer her, as calmly as I can. I turn around and exit the diner and walk back to my car. Damn it! Now I'm the one who has an itch that needs to be scratched. I take a deep breath. I suppose I could always surprise my husband at work. He's always good for a quickie. It won't be a very good quickie, but it's better than nothing. I look longingly at the diner. Someday, I tell myself. Someday.

A/N: I don't actually think that Luke responded to Carrie at Homecoming. I think that she's crazy - hence the nickname Crazy Carrie. Next up: Richard.