Since I'm stuck in bed today, I figured I'd get some writing done, so another quick update. Love the feedback, have to keep it coming, I'll try and R2R up next chapter, but no promises.
Also, selected lyrics come from Donny Osmond, 'Whenever You're In Trouble'
Chapter Nine: Remorse
Sara made her way towards the front desk, coat draped over her arms as she rested one hand on the counter. She smiled easily, though she felt nothing of the sort. "Greg Sanders?" she asked softly.
The receptionist glanced through the papers, nodding. "ICU, third floor," he told her. Sara nodded her thanks, turning towards the elevators. After receiving the news, Sara had gone back to working on what she had started before receiving the page. But she found it hard to work with the thoughts on her mind.
It had been weeks now since they had fought, and it was over a stupid reason. She wished she figured that out sooner. Now anything she said to Greg would more in likely be perceived as pity. Still, she knew what had to be done.
It wasn't a surprise to see the others there, resting in the chairs just outside of the doors. After all, shift had been over for nearly an hour now. Sara had taken her time leaving the lab, still caught in a trance like state. She gave them a short nod as a greeting, taking a seat next to Warrick.
"Any news?" she wondered.
Warrick shook his head. "Nothing yet, Nick's still in with him, and they won't let more than one person in a time right now. They're considering on moving him to a regular hospital room, but aren't sure yet."
Catherine shook her head. "It's sick, he needs all the help he can get, moving him out of ICU would be foolish."
"Yeah," Sara agreed softly. She glanced down at her hands, studying them as though there was nothing better to do.
"I just wish we knew sooner," Warrick whispered, his voice heard to hear. "This seems all too sudden. One day he's there, and all the sudden, this…"
"Hey," Catherine cut him off, "He's not dead yet."
Key word, Sara thought. "There's not much we can do."
"Physically no," Catherine responded. "Emotionally? He needs to know that he's not alone."
Sara nodded, glancing up as the doors opened. Nick shuffled out, head down, hands in his pockets. He smiled grimly at them, sitting down as Catherine scooted over to make room for him.
"Well?" Catherine asked, watching him.
"I convinced him to take the treatment," Nick said softly, running a hand over his face. "He's not happy with me, but he's going to take it."
"It'll buy him some time," Sara confirmed, looking back down at her hands.
"I don't get it," Nick shook his head, "Why didn't he just ask for help? Did he think we would shun him or something?"
"Greg's independent, he's never one to ask for help. I had to practically blackmail him to let me help. "
They all looked up as Grissom walked up. With no more room left to sit down, he just stood next to them, leaning against the wall.
Nick glared up at him, frowning. "You knew about this, didn't you?"
Grissom nodded, not returning his glance.
"And you didn't say anything?" Nick demanded, standing. Catherine grabbed his wrist gently, trying to calm him down.
"Greg didn't want me to say anything," Grissom said lightly.
"So now you do everything your employees ask you to do?"
"Greg's condition was his own concern, he has a right to have a private life Nick. He made it quite clear that he didn't want anyone else to know. I respected his wishes."
Nick shook his head, pulling away from Catherine's hold. "So, Greg is dying, and you don't even think of mentioning it until he's almost dead? How could you do something like that?"
"When you're in that situation Nick, you'll understand," Grissom told him quietly.
"You know what the doctors told me? If I didn't find him when I did, he probably would have died in the bathroom there. With the blood he lost, he was already going into shock. They were able to stabilize him, because I got him in here. Grissom, if I didn't go back to the lab when I did, no one would have found him for several hours."
"There were other people at the lab Nick, we were fortunate you stopped by the bathroom before leaving."
Nick let out a sigh, sitting down. "That's not the point Griss," he glanced back up at his boss. "What I'm trying to say is that we should have known, I mean, with Greg that sick, on his own most of the time, he had no one watching over him. And Greg pushes the limits, we all do. That's nothing new, someone should have been keeping an eye on him."
"I was, Nick," Grissom turned to him. "I kept a close enough eye on him without him or anyone else ever noticing."
"Umm, not to break up you two parents or anything, but can anyone else go see Greg?" Catherine cut in, standing.
Nick nodded, letting out a breath. "Yeah, only one at a time though, they're too busy to deal with several visitors at once. Remember that he is a bit cranky though," he warned.
Catherine nodded, turning to the others, "Anyone want to go in first?"
Warrick shook his head, "I'll let him cool down first, you can have the test run though."
Catherine gave him a flat smile, "Thanks."
"So, how long have you known?" Nick asked, watching Catherine disappear behind the doors.
"About a month," Grissom replied, taking a seat next to Sara.
Nick nodded, not saying anything more. Sara glanced between Grissom and Nick, then back to Warrick before standing. "Watch my stuff okay? I'll be right back."
She made a beeline for the bathrooms, that were down the hallway from where they were sitting. Running the cold water over her hands she splashed several handfuls on her face, closing her eyes as the water ran down her face and arms back into the sink. Somehow she had been able to convince herself that this was still all a bad dream. One that she couldn't wake up from. But with each passing minute, it was clear that it really was happening.
She had to see Greg, had to try and make amends. It was the least she could do, if not for Greg, then for herself. It sounded selfish, she knew that. But she also knew that if she did not, then she would blame herself afterwards for who knew how long. But things were easier said than done.
Reaching over, Sara grabbed several paper towels from the dispenser, running them over her face before crumpling them in her hands. They weren't as soft as the ones she used at home, they were dry and scratchy, and smelled like a hospital. That made sense, on the account she was in one. Throwing them away she leaned against the wall, resting her head against the cool tiles. Letting out a sigh she closed her eyes for a moment, opening them as she studied the room around her.
She stayed like that for some time, before realizing that she had to get going, before the others started to worry about her. Turning back, she glanced into the mirror, pausing for a moment. Shaking her head she left the room, giving the others a small smile before sitting down again.
Catherine had returned, and Sara could assume that Warrick was in visiting him at the moment, since Catherine informed her that Nick and Grissom had already left. "Didn't was you to freak when you came back here and found no one here. That and I didn't want to leave you stuff here alone."
"How long was I in there?" Sara asked, pulling her purse and coat into her lap.
"Half an hour almost, you okay?"
Sara gave a light shrug. "Been better, but I'll live."
Catherine nodded, giving her hand a light squeeze. "Okay, I've got to get home to Lindsey, you take care. Call if you need anything."
Sara nodded as Catherine left, leaning back into the chairs. Half an hour? She had been gone a lot longer than she thought. Several more minutes passed as Warrick came out, taking a seat next to her.
"Hey, thought you got lost in there," he commented.
Sara laughed softly, "Who knows, anything's possible. How is he?"
"Exhausted," Warrick told her quietly. "Drugs are starting to kick in now, he's not very alert. I told him you were coming in though, said he was looking forward to it."
Sara smiled, "That's kind of hard to believe."
"Also told him that you were in a mini skirt," Warrick joked.
"I haven't worn a dress since I was in second grade," Sara laughed.
"He doesn't know that," Warrick smiled. "Go on and see him, visiting hours are almost over. I'll wait for you."
Sara nodded, standing. "You don't have to wait," she added, turning back to him.
"Get going Sara," Warrick pointed to the doors.
"Thanks," she gave him a small smile before pushing the doors open, walking past as the swung shut. Taking a deep breath she came to a stop outside his room, composing herself before walking inside.
TBC
