Title: A Magical Kind of Comedy, Part 2
Author: frkwerewolf
Fandom: Buffy/Harry Potter Crossover
Pairings: Xander/Remus, Andrew/Severus, bits of other pairings (Spike, Ginny?)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A Slayer is activated at Hogwarts and Xander is sent to train her. Of course, Andrew comes along.
Setting: Post-"Chosen", Post-"OotP", Spoilers for Season 5 of Angel
Xander whistled to himself as he exited the training room. He hoped Albus would agree to the field trip. It was difficult to train a Slayer in such a controlled environment, after all.
"Xander?" Remus' voice called from behind him. Xander felt rather stupid, as the simple sound of Remus voice made the day even brighter. Bouncing around, Xander grinned at the werewolf. "I see you're in a good mood."
"Well, I just came up with an excellent idea involving my Slayer and a horde of fresh vampires. Sending a young girl into possible death, what's more to love?" Xander replied.
"Uh, yes, well." Remus chuckled. "I was coming by to ask something of you, if you have the time."
"I have all the time in the world for you." Xander found himself saying. Remus blinked his gold eyes at him. Xander grimaced, but held back the apology threatening at his throat. "Umm, anyway. What's up?"
"I'm planning on a segment for the seventh years on vampires." Remus said. "I was wondering if it would be okay if Andrew summoned one for us."
"Uh, seventh years?" Xander shook his head. "Without Ginny to help with the slayage, I don't think that's a good idea. And heaven forbid I take her away from her precious Potions class. Maybe... Well, maybe we could have a visitor?"
"That shouldn't be a problem." Remus said. "Do you have someone in mind? Another Slayer, perhaps?"
"No, not another Slayer." Xander frowned. "I can't believe I'm suggesting this, but I might be able to get you a vampire. An annoying vampire with a soul, but a vampire none the less."
"Do you think you could? It would be great to present to the class. Hermione has been asking question after question, half of which you can't even find the answers to in books." Remus said, smiling.
"Well, I'd have to fire call him." Xander suddenly grinned. "I can't wait to see his reaction to sticking his head in a fire!"
xxx
"Mr. Wells, is there a particular reason for your standing outside my office door?" Severus asked the strange American. Andrew gazed up at him with watery blue eyes. Sighing, Severus cursed his luck and held the door open for the younger man to enter.
"Umm, I was wondering if I could borrow some... Menshroo Root." Andrew said, bouncing from foot to foot. Severus glided over to his desk, sat down, and narrowed his eyes before replying.
"Mr. Wells-"
"Call me Andrew."
"...Andrew." Severus said, finally giving in to the request the man had made for the past month. "The Menshroo Root is used in love potions and for mind control. Tell me, why would you need such an item?"
"Ummm..." Andrew fidgeted. "I was going to summon a demon?"
"What kind of demon?" Severus asked, making sure not to use his teacher's voice. He had found that Andrew's reaction to the teacher's voice was that of dilated pupils and panting.
"Er..." Andrew looked away, choosing to stare at the collection of vials sitting on Severus' shelves. "A Saltinea demon."
"Which does what, exactly?" Severus raised an eyebrow at the rising blush to Andrew's cheeks.
"Sets off a cloud of pheromones to cause those that breathe it in to fall in love with the first person they see." Andrew mumbled. Severus leaned back in his chair, eyes traveling to the ceiling, as he tried to figure out why Andrew would want to summon such a creature.
xxx
"When I agreed to your wizard connections, I had no idea this is what you meant. I'm not sticking my head into a fireplace, Wesley." The broody voice of the vampire known as Angel said. Xander snickered and shared a look with Remus, before returning his gaze to the blazing fire of Remus' office.
"It will not burn you." Wesley's cultured voice replied.
"I'm not sticking-"
"Will you just shut up and do it, Mr. Forehead?" Xander called out, exasperated. A small pop later and Angel's floating head was glaring at him.
"What do you want, Harris?" Angel asked with a world-weary sigh (patent pending).
"And a big hello to you as well. Angel, I'd like you to meet Remus. He's a teacher here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was wondering if you would like to come visit his class. He teaches hormonal youngsters about dark creatures like yourself." Xander explained, getting right to the point.
"Hogwarts?" Angel frowned.
"A very prestigious magic school in Scotland." Wesley's voice explained.
"What are you doing there?" Angel asked Xander. Xander didn't miss the almost accusing look Angel gave him.
"I'm training a Slayer, Sir Broodiness." Xander replied, rolling his eyes.
"Oh." Angel's head bobbed, as though the vampire was shifting from foot to foot. "Look, I can't come myself, but... Well, there might be someone else I can send."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Wesley's voice inquired.
"Whoa! I'm not letting you send Harmony here. I heard about her working for you. No way." Xander shook his head.
"Who's Harmony?" Remus whispered.
"No, sadly I need her." Angel replied, sighing once more. "I was thinking of someone else. If you promise not to tell Buffy, I can send you Spike."
"He's not going to like this." Wesley's voice pointed out.
"Wait. Spike?" Xander asked. "Spike's dead. Well, more than the usual kind of dead. Remember? Big apocalypse with fireworks and ubervamps and Spike burning to a crisp?"
"Well, much to my own horror, Spike came back. There was this amulet and then Spike appeared." Angel replied in his bored tone. "He was a ghost for a while, then he took this trip through Hell-"
"You really like that place, don't you?"
"And then he got made corporeal." Angel continued, ignoring Xander's jab. "You would think he'd go away, now that he can leave the building. But, no, he stays just for my amusement. I'm fully willing to hand him over to you, however."
"Aren't you just sweet." Xander said snidely, before shrugging. "I'd rather have him than you, anyway."
"Why?" Angel asked, looking frustrated. "What's so great about Spike?"
"Don't stress, Oh Pouty One." Xander grinned. "Send the Big Bad on over."
"If we can find him." Wesley's voice muttered. With that said, Angel's head disappeared with a pop. Xander almost felt like dancing. While he was probably willing to do anything for Remus, if it meant getting that slight twinkle in his eyes, it was great that instead of having Angel come for a visit he was getting Spike. All was right with the world.
"So, who's Spike?" Remus asked, sitting down on his couch. Xander plopped down next to him, causing the werewolf to bounce in his seat.
"A vampire that actually earned his soul." Xander said. "I don't really like him, either, come to think of it, but he's better than Angel. Angel would have bored your students to death talking about how upsetting it was to be a vampire. Spike will go all out with gory details. Might even keep Draco from being snarky for one day."
xxx
"Look, it wasn't really a set plan." Andrew said, after the silence had started to eat away at his conscious.
"Is that so." Severus replied, raising a dark eyebrow. Andrew sighed dramatically.
"It was more of a back up plan, really. And... I didn't even have a first plan to start from. We are talking a very long time before I even considered the Saltinea demon!" Andrew babbled. "I wasn't really planning on setting him lose in your quarters and then conveniently waiting outside for your exit. Uh. Oops."
"I really do not know what to do about you, Andrew." Severus said slowly, showing no shock at Andrew's words.
"Umm, well, you could go out with me." Andrew suggested, his face blossoming into a bright red.
"Indeed." Severus muttered. "Is that what you want of me?"
"Urgh?" Andrew gulped, his mind flashing with millions of erotic images. Oh, he definitely wanted Severus for more than just dinner.
xxx
"So, I was wondering..." Xander said slowly, looking at Remus through the corner of his eye. "Would you like to come with Ginny and me to go vampire hunting on Halloween? If I can get Albus to agree, that is. If you don't want-"
"Xander." Remus interrupted the start of babble with a smile. "I'd love to, but there's a full moon that weekend."
"Shit." Xander cursed. Remus merely chuckled. Xander blushed slightly, looking down at his feet. The fire crackled pleasantly across the room, the only sound other than their breathing. It was pleasant, really. Xander always enjoyed spending time with Remus, and these quiet surroundings were perfect. Smiling to himself, Xander chose not to speak and simply enjoy the moment.
"Bloody hell!" The livid curse was echoed with a whoosh and pop from the fireplace. Xander groaned softly to himself, before looking over at the newest addition to the room. Spike looked the same: bleached hair, black leather duster, sharp cheekbones, and a sneer. Really, you'd think dying would change a person.
"Welcome to the land of magic, my friend." Xander said in a mystical voice. Spike narrowed his blue eyes.
"You gone off your rocker, mate?" Spike asked, stepping forward. He glanced at Remus, back at Xander, then at the couch. "Ohh, interrupt something, did I? Didn't think you had a beastie kink like Red, but there you have it. Figured if you'd turn to the other side you'd go after something demon-like. Can't get away can you, whelp?"
"Are you planning on shutting up anytime soon?" Xander asked calmly, inwardly grinning at Spike's antics. He hated to admit it, but he had missed the pale vampire.
"Haven't seen you in forever, Harris. Had to catch up with my insult quota." Spike replied.
"I figured Deadboy would be an easy target for you." Xander commented.
"Oh, he is a bloody blast to torment, as you well know." Spike grinned, his teeth flashing. "So, heard you were training a Slayer. What's that like?"
"She's a fiery redhead who enjoys destroying my tables and reading demon porn." Xander said. Remus snickered next to him. "I would report her to her mother, but I don't want Molly down my neck about abusing her poor baby."
"Just direct her attention to something Ron did." Remus said softly.
"I've done that twice already." Xander replied. "I think she's starting to suspect something." Xander suddenly leaped to his feet. "Anyway, Mr. Bloody! Let's take you to meet the Headmaster. He'll probably want to introduce you to people and embarrass you like he did me and Andrew."
"Whoa, Andrew is here?" Spike asked, before groaning dramatically. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but that boy has some issues when it comes to role models."
"Yeah, but I doubt he'll follow you around that much." Xander said. "He's kind of obsessed with the local Batman."
"I think he's there now, actually." Remus added.
"Poor Severus Snape." Xander said, shaking his head.
xxx
"What did you do to him?" Xander hissed, watching as Severus stormed out of the great Hall the next morning. Andrew slid even further into his chair, a grimace on his face. "Andrew... I know that you like the man, but haven't you ever heard the term 'be yourself'?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Andrew mumbled. "Where's Spike?"
"Hiding in the hallway." Xander snickered. "He didn't believe me when I told him the sun in here was magic and not able to burn him."
"I'm going to go to the library." Andrew sighed, standing. "I'm not very hungry."
"He's taking it rough." Remus commented from the other side of Xander.
"I know." Xander poked at his food. "Andrew has problems with his emotions. He tends to get a little.. dependant on them, I suppose is the best way to put it."
"They're opposites, then." Remus commented. "Severus never wants to admit his feelings. He's a little cold. Okay, really cold."
"Yeah." Xander took another stab at his food before feeling Remus' eyes on him. He glanced over, smiled slightly, before once again poking his food. "So... What's up for today's lessons?"
"I'm introducing Spike to the Slytherin and Gryffindor class today." Remus replied. "Would you like to come?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Xander grinned an almost evil grin. Remus shook his head, his lips turning upward slightly.
They quickly made their way to the classroom, meeting Spike along the way and easily beating the students. Remus made sure to go inside and block off all the windows before allowing Spike entrance. The class was now lit up with a few candles, making it look like a stage set in a haunted house. Spike walked along the back wall, poking at a few of Remus' displays. Spike finally looked up when the first group of students entered the classroom.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared at Spike speculatively. Harry and Ron began muttering to each other, and Spike easily heard the phrase 'check out that jacket!' in there somewhere. The bushy-haired girl stared at him with a look of pure awe. Spike felt like he was on display, something he normally would have no problem with. He quickly shuffled over to Xander. "Er, whelp, what's with her?"
"Huh? Oh, she knows you're a vampire." Xander replied, smirking. "Hermione is the Willow of the wizarding world."
"Bloody hell." Spike cursed, then glared at Xander's grinning face. The rest of the class had now arrived and Spike stared at all the teenagers with a slight sneer.
"Everyone," Remus started. "I would like to introduce to you Spike."
"Spike?" A snarky voice asked, before chortling. Spike growled low in his throat and stepped forward, looking for all the world like a true hunter of the night or perhaps hunter of the darkened classroom. Draco looked up at him, hardly impressed. "What kind of name is Spike?"
"Mr. Malfoy, please." Remus interrupted, before turning back to the classroom at large. "Class, Spike is a vampire."
Hermione's hand immediately shot up and began waving in the air. Remus looked skyward, before turning to Spike with a small (and not so innocent) smile. "The floor is yours."
Spike stared at the teenage girl, who looked to be in the throws of a heart attack. Or perhaps an orgasm. He wasn't sure, and the whole experience was making him antsy. He shot a quick glare at Xander, who was giggling next to Remus. Sighing, he turned back to the girl. "Yeah? What is it?"
"How exactly were you turned?" She asked.
"What's your name?" Spike asked in reply.
"Hermione Granger."
"Right, Herm." Spike said, crossing his arms. "I was turned in the late 1800s. I was a poncy little bugger, let me tell you, and was having a bit of a problem." Spike was hardly planning on telling them about the poetry and Cecily, that was for certain. "Anyway, this beautiful dark goddess approached me. Drusilla was bloody mad, but had this way of speaking that wrapped you around her little finger. So, she seduced me, bit me and then made me drink her blood. I awoke in a coffin, buried six feet under. After clawing and digging my way up, me and her had a spot of fun and shagged under the light of the moon."
"Wow." Ron looked impressed.
"Yeah, it was fun." Spike grinned. Hermione's hand shot up once more. "Yeah?"
"Is it true a vampire can put you under a thrall of some kind?" She asked, quill posed over her sheet of parchment in preparation of notes.
"Well, some can." Spike replied.
"Tell me about it." Xander muttered.
"Hey, yeah, did Xander here ever tell you about meeting Dracula?" Spike sent the brunette a truly evil grin. "Was the prince of darkness' butt-monkey."
"Hey, class, guess where Spike got the name William the Bloody?" Xander said through gritted teeth.
"Tell them about the Praying Mantis, Xander. The one that Willow probably still won't let go?" Spike countered. Xander's eyes narrowed and he took a step forward.
"At least people are attracted to me. They may want to kill me in the process, but at least I'm not dumped by a psycho vampire for a Chaos demon!" Xander growled.
"Guys?" Remus interrupted.
"Geeze, this class is going to the house elves." Draco could be heard muttering. "First this weak excuse of a vampire, what next?"
"Pardon?" Spike turned to the pale blonde. "Did you call me weak?"
"What if I did?" Draco raised his head defiantly. Spike stared at him a moment, before smirking.
"Who would like to hear about how I earned the name Spike?" Spike asked the class at large. He eyes remained on Draco's, ignoring Hermione's hand shooting up in agreement.
xxx
"I think you traumatized them for life, Spike." Xander told the vampire as they entered the Slayer's training room. Ginny was already there, curled up in the corner with another demonology book. Xander was really going to have to talk to Andrew about giving those to her. With the way she had it tilted, he knew very well what she was looking at.
"Wasn't that the point?" Spike looked genuinely shocked at this news. Chuckling, Xander grabbed one of the knives off the wall and threw it at Ginny. The redhead's hand shot up and snatched it out of the air, before turning annoyed brown eyes to Xander.
"You should be happy I wasn't reading McFarland's Book of Demon-Spawn." Ginny told him, standing up and placing her book on the bookshelf.
"Told you." Xander said to Spike. "Demon porn."
"Least she'll be prepared if a Kreelawn demon tried to impregnate her." Spike commented. Ginny walked over to them, standing next to Spike. The short redhead looked up at him with a wicked grin.
"Oh, you mean by imbedding their seed under the skin of your right knee?" She asked. "Followed of course by the ritual orgy."
"That would be the one." Spike replied, looking rather impressed.
"God, your mother is going to kill me." Xander said, shaking his head. Ginny simply grinned and scratch absentmindedly at her arm. "Well, Spike, care to teach Ginny the true meaning of the word vampire?"
"Love to, mate." Spike grinned, before shifting into game face. Ginny stared at him a moment, before breaking out into that wicked grin once more. Then, as they say, the fight was on.
xxx
"I have a plan." Ginny announced. Andrew looked up from the book in his hands. The library was nearly empty, having allowed Andrew the time he needed to mope. Sadly, it was broken by Ginny's sudden appearance.
"Plan?" Andrew asked. Ginny sat down next to him, wincing slightly. "What happened?"
"Hmm? Oh, I had to fight that Spike fellow today." Ginny replied, waving her hand dismissively. "I totally kicked his arse."
"Yeah, right." Andrew said under his breath.
"Heard that." Ginny said. "Now, my plan is about you and Snape."
"Forget it." Andrew said, the sadness evident in his voice. "He doesn't like me. He doesn't want me. It's hopeless. Our love was never meant to be, much like Luke and Leia... Except, well, me and Severus aren't brothers."
"I'm not even going to pretend to understand what you just said." Ginny told him. "Still, I do have a plan. It's not a very good plan, but it's something."
"All right." Andrew sighed. "Let's hear it."
"Okay." Ginny took a deep breath. "Tell him the truth."
"That's your great plan?" Andrew asked, raising an eyebrow. Ginny nodded in reply. "That's the lamest plan I've ever heard!"
"How is it lame?" Ginny asked, looking offended. Andrew briefly thought about how he really didn't want Ginny blowing her fiery redheaded top on him, but choked down his sudden Slayer fear and answered her.
"It has no true plot direction."
"There's a plot?" Ginny looked around the library in confusion. "What plot? Do you want to just get into his knickers, or own his heart? Huh? Well, Blondie?"
"I. Well..." Andrew sputtered. "I want both!"
"Which is only natural for a virginal boy your age, let me assure you." Ginny told him pointedly.
"I'm not a virgin."
"You haven't met my brother Percy, have you?" Ginny asked, before continuing without an answer. "Percy gets twitching like that when we talk about sex around him. As a matter of fact, so does Harry. You'd think the Boy Who Lived would go out and get himself laid, but nope."
"Why don't you twitch?" Andrew asked innocently. Ginny forced down the snicker when she realized how that question could truly be taken. Twitch indeed.
"I don't know." Ginny shrugged. "I think it only works on guys. Or, you know, maybe I'm not a virgin."
"Yeah, right." Andrew snorted.
"What is that suppose to mean?" Ginny asked with a dangerous glare. Andrew's blue eyes widened dramatically, before darting around the room in search of an escape.
"Well, I mean... You're..."
"I'm what?" Ginny's voice sounded like some strange cross between steel and fire. Andrew gulped.
"Uhh... Nothing. Very intelligent and rather sexy for someone that is too young for me." Andrew said quickly.
"That and I'm the wrong gender." Ginny commented, sounding as though she had forgiven him. Andrew sighed in relief.
"Yeah, there is that." He nodded.
"Anyway. Tell Snape the truth." Ginny ordered, standing. "The man was a paranoid Death Eater for a few years, so you can expect him not to believe what is right in front of his face. Just sit him down and explain what you're feeling. Oh, and be sure to tell me everything. I want details."
"What if we end up doing something naughty?" Andrew asked, raising an eyebrow and trying to come off as cool.
"Like I said." Ginny grinned. "Details."
xxx
"Why haven't you gone after the wolf, yet?" Xander sputtered a moment, before sending a glare at the vampire sitting next to him. Spike looked completely innocent, as though such a thing were possible. Spike smiled (More like sneered, Xander observed.) at him, before turning his attention back to the Great Hall.
It had taken Spike about a day to get over his fear of the Great Hall's magical ceiling. Once he had realized the sun was not going to burn him up, he spent nearly every moment there. Now, after a week of living at Hogwarts, Spike was starting to stick his nose into other people's business. Xander had a funny feeling that was why Spike had originally hung out with the Scoobies to begin with, in order to have easy access to the grape vine. He really was a social vampire.
Xander chose not to answer Spike's question. It wasn't that he didn't want to come right out and tackle Remus to the ground. It was a nice prospect, but Remus was much too kind to embarrass that way. Even if his blush was the most adorable thing Xander had ever seen. Xander turned back to Albus, who had just sat down next to him. He had received permission to take Ginny and Spike to the nearest muggle town for slaying, now he was just working on getting Albus to agree on something else.
Xander was, of course, interrupted once again by Spike. "Hey, whelp."
"What?" Xander snapped.
"I thought the reds and the greens hated each other." Spike commented, gesturing towards the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables. Ginny's red head could be seen from the teacher's table. The girl was in the midst of arguing with some poor soul. At the Slytherin table, Draco Malfoy was looking overly smug about something.
"They do." Xander agreed. "Why?"
"That dragon boy... What's his name?"
"Draco."
"Right, Draco. Well, he came into the room about four minutes ago." Spike said. He pointed at a shy looking boy at the Gryffindor table that Xander identified as Neville. "That kid right there?"
"Neville."
"Yeah, right. Whatever. Anyway, he came in about a minute before Draco." Spike said, whispering like a teenage girl in high school.
"Yeah? So." Xander mumbled through a mouth full of roast beef.
"They smell-"
"You can smell them from here?" Xander interrupted, his eyes shocked.
"Yeah, I can smell them from here. Bloody hell. I normally wouldn't notice, but they smell the same." Spike hissed out of annoyance.
"How?"
"If you would bloody well shut up, I'd be able to continue and therefore answer your questions." Spike growled.
"Fine. Go on ahead."
"Git." Spike muttered before continuing. "They smell like sex."
"What?" Xander stared at Neville, then at Draco. "Yeah, right. Draco hates Neville."
"I don't care, all I know is they smell like each other and like sex." Spike nodded. "A lot of sex."
"So, you are implying that a shy kid from Gryffindor is having an affair with the Prince of Slytherin?" Xander asked.
"Exactly." Spike replied, before gulping down the cup of blood that had suddenly appeared before his plate. Xander didn't want to know how the house elves were dealing with getting blood for the new resident vampire. He also didn't want to know how they knew that Spike was sitting in that particular spot.
"Well, it makes sense." Xander suddenly commented. "Draco has been a lot nicer the past few days."
"Yeah. Finally getting laid can do that to a teenager." Spike nodded, licking his red lips. Spike grinned over at him. "So. When are you going to get the wolf?"
"I'm not going to get him." Xander insisted. "I don't get anyone. I'm going let Remus come to me."
"Yeah, and get blue balls in the process." Spike replied.
"Shut up." Xander glared. Though, Spike did have a slight point. This waiting was hard.
xxx
"Okay." Andrew stated. He took a deep breath, let it out, and then repeated the process. "Okay."
"Is there a particular reason you wished to speak with me?" Severus asked, his eyes narrowed. Andrew took a breath, let it out, and then repeated the process. "Andrew?"
"Okay."
"Mr. Wells!"
"Okay!" Andrew exclaimed. "I-I wanted to talk to you about... Well, us."
"Us." Severus repeated.
"Well, yeah." Andrew fidgeted, then began talking at a very fast speed. "Okay. This is how it goes. When I first met you I thought you were so cool. You were calm and collected and looked really sexy in that black robe combination. So, I kind of had a crush on you. I think you knew that, at least I thought you did. Ginny said that you were kind of clueless about stuff like that so maybe you didn't? Anyway, so then I came here and I kind of got to know you, at least I think I know you."
"I highly doubt you know me." Severus calmly replied, despite the look of shock on his face. He hadn't realized how much Andrew could actually talk.
"Well..." Andrew gave him a shaky smile before continuing. "I know that you like the color black, and not just because it makes you look dominating. I know that you like honey in your green tea. I know that you feel like you have to repent for all the stupid things you did when you were younger. I know you care about your students, though you will never let them realize it. I know that you like to read. I know that while you desire the DADA teaching position, you will always love potion making."
"I think you have made your point, Andrew." Severus told him, his voice oddly soft.
"Actually, I haven't." Andrew took a deep breath. "The things is, I keep learning all these things about you and all it does is make me want to learn more. You are... You're something. I can't describe it. I just want to be with you. I like you. And, well, I'm going to shut up now because I'm starting to babble and I don't babble very well."
"A-"
"You know what?" Andrew interrupted. "Why don't I just leave? I mean, I told you how I felt and I meant it. But, let me give you some time to think about it, okay? And... I need to go. I have lessons for Ginny I need to prepare."
With that said, Andrew quickly darted out of the room, shutting the office door on his way. The darkness of the dungeon engulfed him. Taking a deep breath, he quickly tried to compose himself. Pushing the thoughts of Severus completely out of his mind, he made for Ginny's training room. Upon entering the large room, he found Ginny once again raiding his demonology books.
"What are you doing?" Ginny just and spun around to stare at him sheepishly. There was a book dangling from her hand. Andrew held out his own hand, palm up, and waited patiently for Ginny to place her stolen book into his hand. He looked at the title, forced down a coughing fit, before turning a glare at the young Slayer.
"What?" Ginny asked, pure innocence. Andrew didn't believe in that look for a second.
"I would ask what you wanted Heinerfield's Reproductive Demon Encyclopedia for, but I don't think I want to know." Andrew replied, before bouncing around her and replacing the book to it's natural spot.
"Oh, was that what that was?" Ginny asked, attempting to sound shocked. Andrew shot her a look, before sighing and sitting down in the nearest chair. Ginny watched him a moment, before bounding over and sitting at his feet. Looking up at him, she gave him the sort of look that made him feel like she was looming over him, despite being on the floor. "Okay, what happened?"
"Nothing." Andrew muttered, crossing his arms in an obvious pout.
"Ah, so that's it." Ginny nodded. "Give Snape time. He has to process what you've said to him."
"I'm never going to live this day down." Andrew said mournfully.
"Don't be so dramatic." Ginny ordered. Sighing, Andrew obeyed.
xxx
"I am brilliant." Xander announced, entering Remus' office. The werewolf looked up from his paperwork, amusement dancing in his eyes as Xander grinned back at him.
"And what, do tell, caused this realization?" Remus asked, leaning back in his chair. Xander walked over and leaned against his desk at a very close range. At one time, this would of made Remus very uncomfortable, but for some reason it no longer did.
"I had a wonderful dessert with Albus this afternoon." Xander told him. "We talked about Ginny's progress and a bunch of other things that really did not make sense. Does that man always offer lemon drops? He should discover the wonders of other non-witchy candies. At the rate he's swallowing these things, it's no wonder he's as wrinkly as he is."
"Er, well." Remus really had nothing to say about that little tangent. Xander blinked at him a moment, looking rather baffled himself.
"Anyway!" Xander shook his head, erasing all thoughts of lemon drops. "So, I brought up that little thing that Ginny had been complaining about..."
"Merlin." Remus raised his eyes to the ceiling. "The dance thing, I presume?"
"Oh, you mean the one where Hogwarts hasn't had a dance since the Yule Ball?" Xander asked. "Yup, that would be the one."
"Let me guess." Remus replied. "Albus thought it was a fantastic idea."
"Well, gee, how did you know that?" Xander pouted. "He already told you, didn't he?"
"No, I just assumed that was the cause of your perky little mood." Remus smiled. "So, when will this hormonal episode happen, and will I have to help chaperone?"
"First of all, it's going to be a spring dance, which gives us adult-like people a few months to figure out how to properly arrange the decorations in order to lower the amount of hiding spaces." Xander told him. Remus raised a perfect eyebrow at this statement. "What? Didn't you ever drag your date into one of the nooks and/or crannies in order to participate in naughty touching?"
"Not that I could recall."
"Oh. You were one of those." Xander nodded. "That's okay, so was I. I just watched all the other dates sneak out of the gym to do that which is unspeakable."
"You had such a sad, traumatic childhood." Remus teased lightly.
"I did, didn't I?"
"God, will you two just stop and bloody well shag, all ready!" Spike's voice ordered from the hallway, where Spike was obviously listening. Both Xander and Remus blushed heavily.
xxx
"Where's Mini-Red?" Spike asked, his voice impatient. Xander looked at his watch, the bag at his feet (which carried a nice variety of weapons), and then down the hallway.
"I don't know. She should of been here twenty minutes ago." Xander replied. "God, was this what we put Giles through all the time?"
"Nah, you did worse to that poor bloke." Spike told him, tapping his foot. "So... Shagged the wolf yet?"
"You have spent the past two and a half weeks asking me that." Xander informed him. "We are off to slay demons and vampires in the big city of... Well, actually, I can't remember the city's name, but we just might die. So, let me tell you this, despite these harsh terms, I won't kiss and tell."
"There's been kissing?" Spike asked. He sounded excited at the prospect, which scared Xander even more than usual. Which, now that he thought about it, was probably the point.
"Just shut up, Spike." Xander ordered.
"Oh, come on!" Spike literally wined.
"Are you okay?" Xander asked, eyeing the vampire. Spike really was acting more perky and was, well, happier than usual. It was unnerving. "Do you need to lay down? Take a nap? Do you have a fever?"
"Aww, you really do care." Spike grinned.
"Okay!" Xander exclaimed, yelling at anyone who could hear. "Who drugged the resident vampire?"
"Oh, please." Spike scoffed. "After getting stoned at Woodstock and then trying to have sex with that Janis Joplin chick, I wouldn't touch the stuff. That was one scary woman, let me tell you."
"What?" Xander stared at him. "Spike, Janis Joplin wasn't at Woodstock."
"She wasn't?"
"No. She was just at the after party." Xander informed him, using the wonderful knowledge he had received from hours of watching VH1's Behind the Music.
"Huh." Spike looked slightly perturbed. "Who was that woman, then?"
"I really don't care." Xander replied.
"So..." Spike glanced around the hall. "Where's Mini-Red?"
"Sorry I'm late." Ginny said, having just came from around the corner. She was panting slightly, clutching a bag in her hands. "I was in the dungeons. Andrew was having another panic attack."
"What about this time?" Xander asked, handing his bag of weapons to the girl. She took them, giving him a small glare for making her carry everything. It wasn't like she was the only one with super strength around here. Though, by the look of serene pleasure that was flitting around Spike's face, she wasn't sure she wanted the vampire in charge of the pointy objects.
"Snape slammed the door in his face." Ginny replied as they exited Hogwarts and made their way across the grounds and toward Hogsmeade. "He hasn't talked to Andrew once since Andrew gave his little speech."
"Well, it's not everyday you get told by an annoying blonde that they are in love with you." Xander told her.
"True." Ginny nodded her agreement, before stepping closer to Xander. "What's with Tall and Stupid?"
"Heard that, pet." Spike said, shooting them a grin.
"Yeah, I don't know what his deal is." Xander replied, not trying to lower his voice at all. Spike shot him a glare, which wasn't at all up to his normal standards. "It's almost like he's... Umm, never-"
"Getting laid?" Ginny asked bluntly. "Yeah, I know." They both watched in amazement as Spike tripped over his own feet at those words, before sending them a look of annoyance. "Yeah, he's definitely getting some. Lucky vampire."
"Ginny!" Both men looked at her aghast. With a smirk, the redheaded Slayer bounded ahead of them, a chuckle echoing in the air.
xxx
The city of Dundee was bigger than Sunnydale, but smaller than London. Yet, despite the size difference, it's cemeteries had nothing on a nice Sunnydale cemetery. In fact, after nearly three hours of waiting, Xander finally allowed Spike to hunt down the demon part of town in order to get Ginny some proper training. Maybe they should of just scouted the Forbidden Forrest instead?
"Right, this place sucks." Spike announced some time later.
"You mean to tell me there are no vampires in this place?" Xander asked in shock. Ginny sat on the road-side curb near them, tossing a stake in the air.
"No, there are vampires..." Spike trailed off.
"And?"
"And I talked to a few..." With this, Spike looked rather disgusted.
"What did they say?" Xander asked, cursing his curiosity.
"Apparently there is a new trend in town with the local vamps." Spike sighed. "You know, back in my day a vampire was respected! We were cruel and dangerous!" Spike crossed his arms and glared at the direction he had just came from. "I think we should send Mini-Red after them, just on principle."
"Why?"
"It seems the locals have found that eating humans just aren't worth the trouble." Spike grounded out. "It's cruel and unusual punishment."
"You mean to tell me the vampires of Dundee, Scotland, don't drink human blood?" Xander asked in amazement.
"Not at all." Spike dropped down next to Ginny, looking for all the world like he was pouting, though Xander couldn't even begin to explain why. "When I asked, they looked at me like I was some bloody child molester. Then, I got the bloody lecture about it being Halloween and vampires are suppose to take the day off and all that rot. Then, they offered to take me to their farm and try out some fresh equine blood. Equine!"
"They have a farm?" Ginny asked.
"Yeah. They raise goats, pigs, cows, horses, and hamsters." Spike replied.
"Hamsters?" Ginny's eyes widened at the thought.
"Don't ask." Xander advised.
"Can we go?" Spike suddenly asked. "I have others things I could be doing than wasting my Halloween on you lot."
"Aww, don't you like us anymore?" Ginny asked, sticking out her lower lip. Spike rolled his eyes in reply. "Eh, you just want to get back to whoever it is you're shagging."
"I'm not bloody well shagging anyone." Spike denied, though the lie was evident on his face.
"Sure you're not." Ginny replied, standing. "Come on, Watcher of mine, let's just do a quick sweep then go back to Hogwarts."
"The girl with the plan." Xander grinned. They continued on through the next cemetery, until Ginny suddenly stopped and scratched at her arm. "What is it?"
"There is something..." Ginny trailed off, her eyes darting around.
The creature came out of nowhere, tackling Xander to the ground with it's bulky body. Xander squealed in a masculine way, batting at the demon as he tried to scramble out of the way. Ginny stared down at the demon and her Watcher, a look of pure shock on her face. Spike was leaning against the nearest tombstone, looking for all the world like he wished he had a bag of popcorn to finish the evening with.
"Xander!" Ginny hissed, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him to his feet. The demon lay on the ground for a moment, it's fat body rolling around in an attempt to get to it's feet. After a second it succeeded, glaring at them and standing in a familiar battle stance. Ginny turned to Xander, her eyes dancing. "That's a Glor'ton demon! I read about them in that one book you locked up on me."
"And?" Xander asked. "Kill it!"
"Huh? Oh, right!" Ginny scrambled for their bag of goodies, pulling out a large axe.
As she turned, gripping the axe in preparation for battle, a loud battle cry could be heard from the other side of the cemetery. Spike cursed behind them, and Xander and Ginny watched in amazement as a group of four vampires charged the demon. The fight was quick and bloody, and soon their demon was a dead pile of goo. The vampires clapped each other on the shoulders for a job well done, then turned to them with wide smiles. The leader, at least Xander thought he was a leader at first, stepped forward.
"Like, dude!" The vampire exclaimed, sounding like he had just spent the past two hours smoking weed and eating Cheetos. "It's the Slayer! How cool is this, guys! It's the Slayer!"
"My goodness." Another vampire said in awe, his voice soft and stereotypically British. "This is amazing. Utterly amazing. Do tell, young miss, how long have you been a Slayer?"
"Umm, around four months." Ginny replied. She looked at Xander, her eyes searching for an explanation on why these creatures weren't attacking them. Xander shrugged.
"It is a pleasure to meet you." The British vampire greeted, bowing slightly. Xander could hear Spike snorting behind them.
"Like, it's the blonde dude!" The stoned vampire exclaimed, pointing at Spike. "Like, man, did you get fed? We so could have given you some of that equine blood we were telling you about."
"No, that's okay." Spike replied, scowling.
"I do say!" The British man exclaimed, poking the gooey demon in the side with his foot. "How are we to dispose of this creature?"
"Oh, bloody hell." Spike muttered. "Where did this guy get turned?"
"Man, that's so nasty!" The other replied, before kneeling down and touching the goo with his finger. "Like, dudes! Check this out! It's like a jelly."
"It does have a strange composition." The British one commented. "Young Slayer, what do you believe it to be?"
"It's a Glor'ton." Ginny told him. "So, uhh, you guys don't eat humans?"
"My goodness, no!" The British man looked offended.
"Yeah, we are total vegetarians." The stoner explained.
"Umm, vegetarians don't eat anything from an animal." Xander pointed out.
"Oh, that's right." The stoner looked momentarily confused. "Well, then we're animaltarians!"
"That is not a word." The British vampire told him. The other two vampires nodded their heads in agreement. Xander glanced nervously at those two. They were twin girls and looked disturbingly like the two ghost girls on The Shining. Xander suspected at any moment they would be asking him to go play with them.
"Well, I think we should be going." Xander pointed out.
"Thanks for... Uhh... The slay." Ginny said, blinking in confusion. The Brit grinned in reply, reaching out to shake her hand. Ginny did so, before turning to stare with wide eyes at Xander when the vampire didn't try to ambush her at all.
"Man, it was so cool." The stoner pushed his long hair behind his ears and nodded. "That big thing was all 'no!' and we were all 'die!'. Righteous."
"Umm, yeah." Xander and Ginny waved goodbye, before following Spike out of the cemetery. They couldn't help but glance back every once in a while to see the group of vampires gather around the dead demon. At the last glance, the stoner was pulling out a small joint and lighting it.
xxx
"Well?" Andrew asked, jumping out of his seat as they entered the training room. "You're back early! How was it? Did Ginny kill anything?"
"Ummm..." Ginny trailed off, once again getting that look of confusion on her face.
"We met some vampires." Xander started.
"Oh! Did Ginny get them?" Andrew asked, bouncing around them to grab their bag of weapons.
"Not exactly." Xander shook his head.
"Bunch of bloody psychos." Spike muttered. "Should be ashamed to call themselves vampires."
"Yeah, they were... Eccentric." Xander concluded.
"That's all?" Andrew asked, disappointed.
"Uhh, Ginny will tell you about it in the morning."
"I will?" Ginny asked, before sighing. "Yeah, okay. I will. Hell, I'll tell you now. Want to sneak into the kitchens with me and raid the Halloween Feast leftovers?"
The two walked out of the room, leaving Spike and Xander standing there. Spike had a vaguely frustrated look on his face, like he had ran into a group of annoying vampires . Oh, well, hey. They had ran into a group of annoying vampires.
"I suppose I could go visit Remus." Xander commented.
"Full moon." Spike pointed out, glancing at the clock on the wall impatiently.
"Yeah, but he takes this potion so he's like a big Remus-Wolf." Xander said, grinning despite himself.
"You have fun. I got to go." Spike replied.
"Oh my god." Xander intercepted him. "You are getting laid!"
"I am-" Spike paused, before rolling his eyes. "What's it to ya?"
"Who is it?" Xander asked.
"Look, whelp." Spike growled. "I was in a good mood earlier, but not now. I need sex. You are interrupting me from getting sex."
"Oh, right." Xander nodded, before winking at Spike. Spike groaned in annoyance as he left the room. Xander stood there a moment, before walking out after him. He knew Spike could sense him following him, but the vampire didn't say anything. Xander followed him down into the dungeons and to the door to Spike's room. Finally, Spike turned and looked at him.
"May I help you?" Spike asked.
"I thought I would come inside and visit for a while." Xander replied, grinning. Spike's eyes narrowed. "No, really. And, you know, wouldn't mind meeting whoever it is that's got you all happy and giggly as of late." Spike growled under his breath. "Come on!"
"Fine." Spike snapped, jerking his door open and allowing Xander entrance.
"So, who are you hiding in... here..." Xander trailed off when he caught sight of the short person sitting on Spike's sofa. "Huh... That's unexpected."
"Hey." The person greeted. Xander turned to Spike.
"You're having sex with him?" Xander asked, shock written on his face. "Since when? And since when has he been back and in the picture? What's going on-"
"Oh, shut up." Spike growled, before sauntering over and sitting down on the sofa.
"Spike!" Xander exclaimed. "You're having sex with Oz!"
"What do you know." Oz commented, glancing at Spike with an expression that could be considered amusement. After a moment of staring, Xander finally rolled his eyes and sat down on the nearest available surface.
"Still controlling the wolf, huh?" Xander asked, trying to ignore Spike's hand wandering across Oz's thigh.
"Well, it is the full moon." Oz pointed out.
"Yeah, why aren't you off shagging your wolf?" Spike asked, his voice filled with accusation. Xander almost felt guilty for interrupting Spike's good time. Almost.
"So, where and when did you guys get together?" Xander asked, ignoring the pouting vampire.
"I was hanging out in L.A." Oz replied, and left it at that. Xander turned to Spike, hoping the vampire would stop looking at Oz's crotch long enough to answer.
"Bloody hell." Spike cursed. "I met him at a pub, we got drunk and spent a wild night clawing and screwing each other. Things sort of progressed from there."
"Why does that not surprise me?" Xander asked. Oz shrugged in replied, seemingly unaffected by Spike nibbling on his ear. "Right... I'm going to go visit my werewolf now. Uhh, and Oz? Feel free to visit us sometime. You don't have to hibernate in Spike's room."
"Totally." Was Oz's reply.
xxx
Xander was never an animal person. He had a goldfish once when he was little, but it died within the first week. When he had became possessed by the hyena, it only proved to strengthen the subtle desire to separate man from beast. That is, until he got to actually cuddle up with a full grown werewolf. Sure, werewolves weren't exactly animals per say, but they were beastly in nature.
When Xander had first entered Remus' rooms, he had been greeted with a growl. That, of course, wasn't something he was too worried about, because the moment the door was shut Remus had tackled him to the ground and licked his face. For an overgrown, slightly ill-proportioned dog, Remus had wonderful coordination. By the time Xander was able to stand up, he was covered in slobber and harmless scratches from their rough housing.
Panting slightly, Xander slumped down onto the couch. He raised his arm, giving Remus the room to crawl up next to him. The werewolf curled up against his side, resting his head on Xander's thigh. Smiling, Xander placed his hand on Remus' head, combing his finger's through the werewolf's soft fur.
"Well, looks like it's just you and me, fuzzy-butt." Xander told Remus. Remus gazed up at him with amber eyes. "My educational field trip went down the drain. Spike is having sex with another werewolf. You'll probably meet him tomorrow, if he's decided to leave Spike's room. Spike's lucky. Even if he doesn't realize it. As long as there are no skanky girl werewolves around, Spike will have Oz's full attention. Which actually works pretty well for Spike's ego."
Xander sighed. "Yeah, he's lucky. You know, Remus, I like you. And I don't just mean in the way that makes you my best friend, which I'm starting to think you are. It's like you're... Someone special and you're just for me, even if neither one of us realize it. I'm making absolutely no sense. Sorry." Xander yawned widely, his eyes trying to flutter closed. "I guess we should get some... Sleep..."
Remus had woken up next to someone after a full moon more often than some would think. As a teenager, he had the other Marauders to keep him company and as he got older there was Sirius. From the age of seventeen on up until he was about twenty-one, he hadn't gone a single full moon without Sirius by his side. After Sirius escaped Azkaban, it was the same. Then, Sirius had died and Remus was alone once again. So it was a shock when he awoke that morning with a warm body next to his own.
He could feel fingers carding through his hair. A voice was mumbling something in it's owner's sleep. He was perfectly content to go back to sleep, when the scent of wood and musk hit his nose. Blinking open his eyes, he found himself curled up naked on the couch, a fully dressed Xander as his pillow.
Remus didn't feel as shocked or uncomfortable as he probably should of. Feeling some unease at how content he was to cuddle up to Xander, he quickly went to his bedroom to dress. Taking a deep breath, Remus pulled on his robes and returned to the living room. Xander had curled up in a fetal position, still mumbling under his breath. It wasn't a loud sort of talking, more like a constant noise in the background that made you want to go back to sleep. Or hug someone. Remus didn't feel quite ready to do that, so he grabbed his briefcase and left for his classroom.
xxx
"What would a Potions Master want for Christmas?" Andrew asked the next morning.
"Ummm." Xander tilted his head in thought, chewing his piece of toast slowly. He turned to Remus. "I don't know. What do you think?"
"What Severus wants for Christmas?" Remus asked. "I have no desire to learn that."
"True." Xander looked past Remus. "What do you think, Spike?"
"Should I bloody care?" Spike snapped.
"Sheesh." Xander muttered. "Someone didn't get laid last night."
"For your information, I didn't." Spike growled. "Oz spent the rest of the night talking, if you can bloody well believe it."
"I wouldn't think that would stop you." Xander commented.
"Normally, it wouldn't." Spike replied. "But it's Oz. I was stunned. It's all your fault, you know."
"How is it my fault?" Xander asked.
"You guys!" Andrew whined. They ignored him, in favor of their argument.
"Memory lane, whelp." Spike said.
"Awww." Xander batted his eyelashes. "Did your little wolfie spend all night talking about another man? Poor little vampire, so miss treated!"
"Better bloody believe it." Spike muttered, before taking a gulp of his blood.
"Come on, you guys." Andrew interrupted. "I really need to come up with something to buy Severus for Christmas. I have no idea what he would need. Should I buy him potion materials? A book? What should I do?"
"Andrew, Christmas is nearly two months away." Xander told him. "You'll think of something. Hell, by then Severus might give into your seduction and tell you himself."
"You think?" Andrew perked up. His eyes developed a familiar glassy look as his mind wandered. Rolling his eyes, Xander turned back to Remus.
"Huh." A voice said, stopping their conversation before it could begin. Xander looked back and broke into a wide smile.
"Oz! It's Oz!" Xander bounced to his feet and threw an arm over Oz's shoulders. Oz had a vague look of amusement on his face, his eyes darting between the Great Hall's ceiling, Spike, and sometimes to Remus. "Decide to leave the horrors of Spike's dungeon room?"
"Thought it was time." Oz replied.
"I suppose we will need more room." Remus commented, pulling out his wand. The teacher's table stretched and another chair popped up between Remus and Spike. Oz sat down in it, looking down to find another plate appearing.
"Huh." Oz said again.
"Bloody nuisance." Spike complained. "Can't you shut up for two seconds?"
Oz merely smiled back at Spike.
xxx
"You will not believe it!" Ginny exclaimed as she threw the door to her training room open. She barely registered the four people watching her as she tossed her books onto the finally rebuilt table. "I can't believe it! I'm... I'm very shocked by this."
"Heavens, that must be some kind of news if you aren't blabbing it out to the nearest living thing." Xander teased. Ginny shot him a dirty look, before noticing the new guy. She looked Oz up and down, scratched at her arm, glanced at Spike, scratched again, and then sat down with a humph. "Problems, Slayer dearest?"
"Neville." Ginny spit out.
"That blonde kid you're always protecting?" Xander asked.
"Yeah." Ginny sighed. "He told me something this morning and I'm a little... Stressed from the news."
"What did he say?" Andrew asked, sitting down next to her and handing her a large demonology book with a ribbon marking a page. Ginny took it and opened it at the marked page before answering.
"He's dating the sleaziest ferret I have ever met." Ginny growled, eyes narrowed. The growl sounded oddly familiar, causing Xander to send Spike a disapproving look. The vampire preened like a proud father. "Stupid Draco Malfoy."
"You mean they are dating?" Xander asked in shock.
"You knew?" Ginny asked, glaring.
"Well, Spike"
"What? Spike!" Ginny exclaimed. Spike looked at his feet, then at the wall past Ginny's head.
"Well, they did smell like each other." Spike mumbled.
"What's the big deal?" Andrew asked.
"Malfoy is... He's just cruel." Ginny replied. "If he hurts Neville in any way, I swear..."
"You'll kick his arse." Spike finished. Ginny nodded firmly. Xander shook his head with a sigh and turned to Oz, who was silent as usual.
"Do you see what I have to deal with?" Xander asked.
"They are strangely alike." Oz commented. "Almost..."
"Like they are related?" Xander suggested. Oz nodded. "Yeah, I've thought of that. You should meet her mother. Scary woman. Love her to death, but she is scary when she wants to be. Speaking of which, it's time for me to write out my newest report to the dear Mrs. Weasley."
"Yes, and Ginny needs to study." Andrew said, giving them a stern glare.
"All right, shutting up now." Xander rolled his eyes.
"Andrew, this is boring." Ginny complained a few minutes later. "The pictures are hardly worth looking at."
"Just because it doesn't show the demon's... Hardware doesn't mean it's a bad book." Andrew told her, frowning.
"Whatever." Ginny mumbled. She was quiet a moment, taking every few second to glance at Oz and Spike. The 'new' couple was in the corner making out. After a few glances, Ginny sighed.
"What?" Andrew asked, looking up from inspecting Ginny's potion book.
"Do they have to do that?" Ginny whispered, gesturing at Spike, who was sticking his tongue into Oz's mouth.
"Well, they are... Oddly cute like that." Andrew said, frowning slightly. "What's the problem?"
"I don't know." Ginny said, her face falling into a pout that wasn't a normal expression for her. Ginny was either happy, angry, or sarcastic. The latter being the most common. To see her mildly depressed made Andrew scoot closer, throwing an arm over her shoulder. "Oh, stop."
"Why? You're obviously bothered by something." Andrew replied. "Is it Neville? Oh gosh, did you have a crush on him? Honey, I'm so-"
"A crush?" Ginny exclaimed. "On Neville! No way. Neville's like... A buddy. It's... Different than that. Maybe it's a crush, but not on anyone you really know."
"Hmmm..." Andrew looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, if you want to tell me, feel free."
"Yeah, I will." Ginny muttered, turning back to her book.
xxx
"Where's Ginny?" Andrew asked later on that week.
"Huh?" Xander yawned. He glanced at the clock, which read past midnight. With a sigh, he closed his Watcher's journal. "Ginny's in the Forbidden Forrest."
"What?" Andrew exclaimed. "But it's... Forbidden!"
"Yeah, I'm aware of that." Xander replied. "Albus gave her permission. She has to get patrolling in sooner or later. After that horrid experience in Dundee, well, I think the forest is her best bet. They have all sorts of things in there for her to battle it out with."
"I suppose..."
"Don't worry about her." Xander told him. "She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Besides, she seems a little down as of late. Beating the crap out of something will do her some good. At least, it always helped Buffy."
"Something is definitely going on with her." Andrew nodded. "She won't bug me about Severus anymore and every time she sees Spike and Oz together she sighs and gets this sad look on her face. I don't like Ginny sad. It's scary."
"You think she's having guy problems?" Xander asked. "I don't think I'm capable of dealing with that sort of thing."
"Maybe we should just watch her." Andrew nodded. "Yeah, watcher her. We're Watchers, it's what we do... Okay, it's what you do."
"You're saying we should spy on Ginny?" Xander asked, eyes wide. "Do you realize what she'll do to us when she finds out?"
"Beat us, then tear out our spleens?" Andrew suggested.
"Most likely." Xander agreed. "...Okay, let's do it."
Tracking Ginny down and following her on a day to day basis turned out to be easier than Xander thought. Perhaps it was because neither him nor Andrew set off the Slayer vibe. Thus, Xander and Andrew began following Ginny in-between classes. They watched her during lunch, and then after classes. Spike thought they had both gone insane, and insisted that when Ginny found out they were dead men. He simply asked that he would get to be present during the decapitation that would no doubt happen.
After two weeks of smooth detective work, they started seeing a trend in Ginny's behavior. Apparently, it all came down to one person. This person, however, was hard to decipher. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were always together. It was strange, and while Spike insisted naughtier things, Xander was vaguely reminded of Buffy, Willow, and him.
Xander knew Ginny wasn't getting all weepy about her brother, so Ron was out. That left Harry and Hermione. It was here that Xander and Andrew's investigative opinions started to differ. Xander insisted it was Harry that had Ginny all mopey and avoidant. Andrew claimed it to be Hermione. Spike said both, and Oz merely shrugged. When Xander finally got around to asking Remus, the werewolf announced that both were likely candidates for Ginny's affections and then left it at that.
By the time November came to an end, Xander was obsessed with Ginny's romantic life. Thankfully, Remus found this oddly endearing, so he didn't feel so guilty about ignoring his crush.
