Chapter 6: Commemoration



Lexa Pierce sat next to Jesse Kilmartin in the medbay. They were working from here, rather than from the computer desk, so Jesse could keep an eye on Dan. During a pause in her work, while the computer was running a search, she took a moment to look over at Jesse.

Hey I see the trees are green again
Maybe this time around you'll set the trend
Today's the day you make your mark I'm sure
But if you don't, if you don't, then try the next door

They had discovered the list of mutants in Dr. Jacobs' study a half an hour ago. Now they were working on tracking them down. But something had changed in Jesse's demeanor the moment he had read the list.

But I (but I), can't stop you
There you go again
Falling like a star
Sinking like a stone
Watching as the world you're in
Now takes its toll

"Jesse? Is something wrong?" His gloomy silence was starting to bother her.

Brush the dust off it's dawn again my friend
Next time you'll get it
Next time you'll make amends
Tomorrow's children will need a light to shine the way
Without you, without you, who will tell them to stay?


"Hmm?" Jesse looked up, clearly distracted. "No, no. Have you found an address for Rachel Solstrom yet?" The question was asked absently. His unfocused gaze had returned to the computer screen.

Cause you are
Falling like a star
Sinking like a stone
Watching as the world you're in now

Slowly takes its toll

I don't think you know

I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

But you try, but you try, but you try

"Yeah. She goes by the name Reyna Jones and lives in San Francisco." Lexa paused a moment before finally deciding that the direct approach was best. "Jesse, what the hell is going on with you?"

Jesse seemed to snap out of his stupor at her harsh tone. He looked up at her, a bit surprised. "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean?" Ever since we found the list you've been in this funk. You've been silent as a clam and bite my head off if I ask a question more than one sentence long. I may be your girlfriend, but that doesn't mean I have to take it when you're acting like an asshole."

Jesse smiled at Lexa's reference to their relationship and blunt appraisal of his behavior. But it didn't reach his eyes and Lexa wanted to know why. "I'm sorry, Lex. I don't suppose I could get away with saying I'm just tired?"

Lexa crossed her arms beneath her breasts and increased the intensity of her stare. Obviously she wanted a better explanation.

He turned back to his computer, entering a few keystrokes, and for a moment she thought he was going to ignore her. She felt her temper rise.

To her surprise, though, he reached for the back of her chair and dragged it closer to his own station. It caught her by surprise, and it took a moment for her to regain her balance as the chair rolled to a stop. It helped that Jesse had his arm around her shoulder, and when the movement stopped, she let herself savor the warmth of his body next to hers.

"I want to show you something. Whether you tell the others is up to you, but I don't think they need this right now." He pointed to the screen. "There were 12 mutants in Jacobs' group. We've just put Tyrone and Dan into the underground. These four," he said as he pointed to the names, "were already in the underground when this whole thing started. You've managed to track down Rachel and Liang, and I have the address for Anton. That's nine. But these three –" he indicated the last three names on the list " – are dead."

Lexa looked at his eyes, trying to gauge his response. "Is that what's bothering you? That we couldn't save Ariah and these other two?"

"Sort of," he replied, his eyes distant. "Yeah, it bothered me that we couldn't save Ariah. Rick Tamazuki was killed in a bar fight five years ago. There was nothing I could do about that. There was nothing I could do about the third death either."

Lexa consulted the list. "Peter Holecker?"

Jesse nodded. "He was the mutant killed in the accident I told you about earlier, the one after which they put custom governors in all the subjects. He was a friend of mine. I guess seeing his name again brought back some old memories." His eyes were vacant for a moment as he mind briefly returned to the events from years ago, but then turned his gaze back to Lexa, wondering about her reaction.

Lexa looked confused. "Where did you meet him?" she asked softly. "I thought you said you never made any friends at school."

"I didn't meet him at school. Peter was a telepath. I met him in Genomex. We came in on the same day, and somehow he established a connection between us. We could speak telepathically to each other. There was a connection between us that was always open, even when we were asleep. I don't know how. Maybe he didn't have a governor, or it didn't work or something. We would talk to each other, and tell each other stories. We figured out that we were in the same room together. He could see a calendar and a clock. That's how I kept track of time for the first six months or so. We kept each other sane in that place." He chuckled. "We used to play chess with each other in our heads when things got bad. But then one day Harrison took me off to one of his little tests. It was a bad one, and when I woke up the connection was gone. Peter was gone." Jesse paused taking a deep breath, making sure his body could handle the flood of emotion before. "I've never told anyone else about Peter." He cleared his throat. "Later I heard Jacobs tell Harrison that Peter had gone bezerk during a test and killed some of his assistants before trying to escape. He said that they had to kill him."

Lexa could hear the thickness of his voice. His eyes sparkled with unshed tears and she could see that he was fighting them back. She'd known Jesse for more than a year, yet she couldn't remember a time when he'd been this close to tears in front of her. There had been several times when he had comforted her when her emotions had driven her to tears, and it was time for her to return the favor. Rising from her chair, she sat on his lap and put her arms around his neck. He seemed to resist at first, but soon his arms were around her, holding her tight while he cried. She ran one hand through his hair and the other along his back and whispered comforting nonsense in his ear. She sent him comfort and strength. It was an amazing feeling for her, too, as she herself was comforted and amazed by the fact that her presence alone could reassure another person.

After a few minutes the sobs subsided and he pulled back, lifting one hand to his eyes to wipe the lingering tears. "Oh," he said, collecting himself, avoiding her gaze. "I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be," she said, running her fingers down the side of his face. They came to rest on his chin, which she lifted so he was forced to look into her eyes. "I'm glad you told me. It couldn't have been good for you to keep something so important to you bottled up for so long."

Jesse's eyes searched hers for a few moments before he spoke. "Thank you," he said reverently, placing a light, poignant kiss on her lips. They stayed that way, foreheads touching for several more moments, neither wanting to let go quite yet.

Finally Jesse lifted his head and gave a soft laugh. "I'm not sorry I told you, but this actually isn't what I meant to show you."

"What did you mean to show me?" Reluctantly, she moved back to her own chair, but kept contact with Jesse, letting her hand rest on his thigh.

"That was the list of mutants in Jacobs' original group. But that project was shut down more than seven years ago, a few months after the accident. But three years ago, Jacobs tried to resurrect the project. This – " Jesse pressed a few keys "– is a list of the mutants he wanted to recruit. All of them psionics, all of them which – with a little training from him – could potentially kill from a distance and without a trace."

"There has to be two dozen names."

"Yup. But this is the big one." He pointed to a name two-thirds down the list.

"Emma DeLauro," she breathed. Her mind worked, and she understood why Jesse hadn't wanted her to tell the others. "That's why Genomex was after her three years ago. They wanted her for this program."

Jesse nodded. "And if they hadn't been after her, Mutant X would never have searched for her, she never would have become a part of Mutant X and we never would have known her. It's kind of disturbing to find out that one of the most evil men in the world is the reason you met one of your best friends."

"But that's life. The only reason I met you was because the Dominion sent me to infiltrate Mutant X. The only reason you met Shalimar was because Harrison was holding you captive." She took both of his hands in hers. "You remember when you were shot a few months ago and you started telling me about that book, "Sophie's World?"

He nodded. He remembered the time well. It was hard to forget being invaded by a bullet when you were supposed to be invulnerable to them. He also remembered that time well because of her visits.

"You told me that all the bad that happens to you balances out on the big karmic scales. And that if you were experiencing a lot of bad, someone somewhere else was experiencing a lot of good. This is kind of the same thing. Good and bad things happen together."

He raised a hand to her face, reveling in the feel of her soft skin, in the fact that she loved him. "You know, you're getting really good at this philosopher stuff. Maybe you should become a psychiatrist," he joked.

She slapped his chest, feigning indignation. "You better not tell anyone else." He feigned injury, but drew her close for a kiss.

"Unnghhhh."

They broke the kiss when they heard the groan behind them. They had both forgotten that they were in the medbay and, though unconscious, Dan was still in the room.

Jesse moved to his patient's side. "Dan? Can you hear me?"

Dan groaned again, his eyes fluttering open. "What hit me?"

"A bullet, but you're okay now. You should be up and moving around in another hour or so. We're going to put you into the mutant underground with Tyrone. We're going to make sure that you're safe. I promise."


AN: This chapter is a bit of a songfic at the beginning. I don't own the song, which is "Lucky You" by LostProphets, from the Spider-Man 2 OST.