Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, one do you really think this wouldn't be an episode? and two, there would be a lot more EdXRoy.
Author's Note: This idea came from reading A superdooper happy funtastic week, by Harada Risa.
Thank you Harada Risa for the review.
Um, if I manage to put in any pairings, RoyXEd (definitely), AlXHawkeye (possibly)
This is a crack fic.
I'll
Be Fuhrer
Chapter
Two: March Sporks, March!
Roy ran into a supply closet, leaving boxes and boxes of sporks to clutter the hallway. He had found the cafeteria's spork supply and had added that to his mountains of half spoon/half fork utensils.
Jean Havoc navigated down the hallway, dodging boxes of sporks wondering if there was something up. He was walking by the supply closet when he heard shouting and banging noises. Having a very dirty mind, Jean Havoc did something he shouldn't have.
He opened the door.
Inside was Roy Mustang wearing a toilet paper banner across his chest and a crown made out of dried cafeteria slop. The worst, though, was that he had made himself a diaper out of coffee filters and was wearing it, mercifully, over his uniform pants.
As the others before him, Havoc retreated to the safety of the office. He started walking faster when Roy shouted, "EUREKA!"
Roy walked back to the cafeteria, dragging his boxes of sporks behind him. How was he able to drag seven boxes of sporks, a full can of purple paint, and a set of paint brushes? The world may never know.
Roy began drawing a large transmutation circle on the cafeteria floor using the purple paint and paint brushes. After he was finished, he decided he was thirsty.
Cafeteria Kitchen
After Roy came in and stole all of the sporks, the cafeteria staff decided to make lots of coffee, since they figured they'd have to make a lot of orders for sporks and wait all night to get the emergency supply.
However, they didn't plan on fueling Roy's insanity even more.
Roy came in, after finishing his circle, and grabbed the industrial sized coffee maker that the kitchen staff was using to make coffee. All of the cooks took one look at Roy's outfit and they left the kitchen in fear. Roy grabbed a bag of sugar and poured it in the large pot of coffee.
He than drank another industrial sized pot of coffee.
A half hour later
The paint was dry, Roy's coffee had been drank, and now he was pouring over a million sporks onto the transmutation circle. Standing back from his work he smiled evilly. He placed his hands on the circle and activated it. The sporks began to morph.
"LIVE MY ARMY! LIVE!" he shouted, laughing manically. "MUHAHAHAHAHA!"
The sporks began to rise from the floor. On two legs they stood. Their legs came out of the handle and the round pronged part became their heads.
"MUHAHAHAHA!" he laughed. "NOW MY SPORK ARMY, WE WILL MAKE ME FUHRER!"
"..." the sporks said, but got into columns and rows and brigades and armies.
Chapter End
Roy is on an agenda now. He has a purpose. And there is nothing worst then a hyper person with a purpose.
