Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, one do you really think this wouldn't be an episode? and two, there would be a lot more EdXRoy.

SPECIAL CHAPTER DISCLAIMER: I do not, I repeat, I do not own "Holiday" which is by Greenday.

Author's Note: This idea came from reading A superdooper happy funtastic week, by Harada Risa.

Thanks Harada Risa, FiReChAoS347, Madam Midnight, kori hime, crazgrl017, Shale 101, A Mid-Boss named Malik, Chaos of Hearts, Aseret Kitsune, Yuki/Inuyasha/YamiLover, Dragons Maiden, and Aysha's Damn Username.

Dragons Maiden: blush Did I really do that? looks up definition Plowed but left unseeded during a growing season. blink That is far from what I met, but since it is a word, my beta coughSpellcheckercough didn't catch it. I'm sorry. I'll probably change it later, if I wasn't so lazy.

I've been asked to do one of these stories with an insane Ed. I've also been asked about miniskirts. This is my answer:

SEQUEL IN THE WORKS. TWT five years after this one. Ed will be 21. Ed will be drunk. The title will be I Bet. IT WILL BE ROYXED, this one is no pairing.

This is a crack fic.

WARNING: SINCE THE SINS AND SCAR ARE IN THIS, THERE ARE SOME MINOR, (SOME NOT SO) SPOILERS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Info from http / www . fullmetalalchemist . info / character3 . html Spoiler warnings.


I'll Be Fuhrer

Chapter Four: Karaoke From HELL

The very insane colonel and commander-in-chief of the armed sporks strode into Central. By now, word had spread that the colonel of Eastern Headquarters had lost his mind from drinking too much coffee and was now heading for Central HQ with the goal of taking it over by organizing a military coup using an army of transmuted sporks. So of course, everyone had been ordered to set up millions of port o' potties and that coffee was illegal for the time being.

Roy went into the grocery store, he was hungry and a bit thirsty. Walking down the aisle, followed by his most loyal sporks, General Spock, General Egghead, and General Porcupine, he grabbed whatever looked appetizing. That was until he walked down the coffee aisle. Everything clattered to the floor as he looked at all of the coffee in the aisle. Sure it wasn't made, but he'd heard the beans were even better than the drink.

He walked up to a can of coffee grounds and opened it. Tipping his head back he poured the grounds directly into his mouth, this did not help his sanity any.


Meanwhile

Maes, Alexander, Heymans, Jean, Maria, Vato, Kain, Denny, Sheska, Riza, Edward, and Alphonse walked into Central.

"Great," Denny said, "we lost him."

"Well, we do know his goal," Riza said.

"But can we beat him there?" Kain said.

"He'll probably stop somewhere for more coffee, like he did leaving East City," Edward said.

"But how do we know that?" Alexander said.

"He walked clear across the country in five days," Maes began. "He's probably hungry and thirsty. He'll probably raid a restaurant, a coffee house, a liquor store, a grocery store, or some poor private citizen's pantry."

"My money's on the grocery store," Maria said.

"Why?" Jean asked.

"Because he's leaving that one and we are standing amidst an army of sporks who are stabbing our ankles," Sheska answered, pointing.

Sure enough Roy stepped out of the grocery store, now swinging a bottle in a paper bag. With him were three sporks, Envy, Lust, Gluttony, and Scar, the latter four seemed to be both drunk and high.


Earlier, at the Grocery Store

Roy had finished up about ten cans when he heard someone singing:

"Hear the sound of the falling rain
Coming down like an Armageddon flame"

Another voice joined in and what sounded like someone using their stomach as a drum started beating.

"The shame
The ones who died without a name
Hear the dogs howling out of key"

Yet another voice, Scar's, joined the duet.

"To a hymn called "Faith and Misery"
And bleed the company lost the war today"

Roy decided to find these singers and joined at that point.

"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On Holiday"

Roy found the sins Envy and Lust with arms around Scar singing while Gluttony beat his stomach like a drum. So this is what the villans did on their off time?

"Hear the drum pounding out of time
Another protester has crossed the line
To find the money's on the other side
Can I get another AMEN?

Roy wrapped an arm around Envy's shoulder shouting and singing with them.

"There's a flag wrapped around a score of men
A gag
A plastic bag on a monument"

Lust passed a bottle to Roy, who promptly washed down all the coffee with...a Starbucks Frappuccino.

"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday"

They seemed to have an unspoken agreement that Roy would solo here and he took it after Envy said, "The representative of California has the floor"

"Zieg heil to the president gasman
Bombs away is your punishment
Pulverize the Eiffel Towers
Who Critize your Government"

On "gasman" "punishment" "Towers" and "Government" the other three had shouted the words.

"Bang Bang goes the broken glass
Kill all the fags that don't agree
Trials by fire setting fire
Is not a way that's meant for me"

At the word fire Roy snapped his fingers setting fire to the store manager who was coming to the cash register they had migrated to. The microphone was one and their voices were carrying throughout the store through the P.A. system.

"Just cause-just cause-because were Outlaws YEAH!"

The other three rejoined him at this point to finish the song as the manger pushed the quintet out the door.

"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
This is our lives on holiday"

With one last shove the quintet were out the door swinging bottles in paper bags and singing like drunk sailors.


End Chapter

End note: I found out that zieg heil is German for hesitated safely on http / www . freetranslation . com / Just a little information.

Next chapter: Who is more insane? The fuhrer? Or Roy?