See first chapter for details.

I am attempting to fix the OOC and the rather…choppy chapters that have been occurring lately. I liked the flow of the earlier chapters better.

A Fate Worse Than Death

Chapter 9

3rd Person:

            Morning saw Seifer and Squall at the coffee table, their usual personalities relatively restored. Squall had been silent since they woke up, refusing to speak to Seifer other than the occasional short sentence.

Seifer, on the other hand, was ignoring the fact that Squall was ignoring him, using the time to hold a DC meeting via computer messaging program.

            Two faces stared out at him from the flickering screen, one a woman with silver hair and a single blood-red eye, the other obscured by an eye patch. She was currently glaring at the screen, but this wasn't unusual.

            The other face was Raijin, dark-haired and handsome; if you liked blank looks. Seifer sat in front of them, arms crossed, and every few seconds he would cast a glance to where Squall sat three feet away, as if to make sure he hadn't run off. If the two people watching him from the computer screen noticed, they didn't say anything.

            "Anyway," Raijin was the speaker, "Me'n Fuj have been doin' our best, ya know? But these kids ain't got no respect for the DC without you, man. I mean, we do all right, but only if we catch 'em screwin' up. When you was around, they coulda sworn that no matter where they was, you'd see 'em, ya know? We need you back Seif, Leonhart or no." He paused, scratching his neck.

            "Actually, now that I think of it, the Lion's got a pretty mean glare. He could help out, maybe. The DC needs all the help it can get with these new kids runnin' around, ya know?" Seifer frowned. Squall? On the Disciplinary Committee? He glanced at the person in question, and was surprised to see grey-blue eyes staring back at him.

            Right. That would be the day. He'd swallow Hyperion if Squall ever voluntarily agreed to join the DC, a group notorious for getting further into people's business than anyone really wanted to. Seifer smirked at the brunette, who only glared and resumed staring at the table, as if expecting it to catch fire. Green eyes returned to the computer screen.

            "Somehow, I just don't see that happening, Raj," He crossed his arms again, looking to Fujin.

            "Well?" Seifer prompted, "any opinions on the current state of the DC?" Silver hair was brushed out of a single eye.

            "BAD," the woman stated in her unusual speech pattern, "NEED SEIFER BACK." The blond laughed.

            "Seems this school just can't run without me," he said, and then turned once again to face Squall.

"Sorry, Squally-boy, but it looks like you're going to have to accompany me for the rounds." A pause, but no response came. Seifer leaned back in the chair, balancing on the back legs.

            "Aww, c'mon. Most people would kill for a spot on the DC, and here you'll get to follow us around all day; no murder involved." Squall only lifted his head, giving Seifer an unreadable expression.

            "Excuse me, while I find a container for my joy," he said finally, his voice flat, and then he resumed staring at the table. The blond leaned back forward, settling the chair on four legs once more.

            "That's the spirit, Leonhart!" he encouraged, and turned to face the small images of his friends that flickered on the screen.

            "FUN," somehow, Fujin managed to convey sarcasm. Raijin shook his head in amazement.

            "I know what you mean, Fuj," he agreed, looking at Seifer, "you've got what? Three months with Leonhart? Must be hell, man."

            Blood on white tile. Frost and diamond tears. Dragging footsteps, choking sobs and blind panic. Squall alone, crying, in the rain and on the floor, on his knees, in front of Seifer. Blue-grey eyes and silver-brown hair, wrapped in pristine bandage and thin white scars.

            "Yeah," his voice was suddenly quiet, "yeah, something like that." Red and brown exchanged worried glances.

            "You all right, man?"

            Heavy weight in his arms. Soft hair on his shoulder, under his fingers. Deep moans and liquid eyes, singing and soft hands. Arms around his in the darkness.

            "I'm fine," Seifer assured them, casting another glance at Squall, who ignored him.

            "Perfectly fine. I just gotta get out more. This whole…scenario is going to drive me crazy. I mean…" he trailed off.

            I haven't had sex in a week. Seifer snorted. He didn't know how much longer he could take this. Raijin grinned.

            "Then you should be happy to know that they're expecting you both back in class in two days." He held up a small slip of paper, squinting at it, "apparently it was gonna be sooner, but somethin' came up. It doesn't say what, though, ya know?" At the table a few feet away, Squall froze, looking up at Seifer with wide eyes. The blond merely waved his hand; don't worry, and the other man relaxed.

            There was a silence, and then Raijin continued.

            "Anyway, me'n Fuj figured that you could come back to the DC now, and then it would be like a sort of slow intro back to school, ya know? One step at a time, like." A pause.

            "Plus we really just need you back, Seif."

            "ASAP." Fujin added. Seifer just nodded, and Squall, who had been watching, rolled his eyes.

            As if he needs any more ego, the brunette told Shiva, who gave a very undignified giggle.

            Isn't that why you like him? Her fingertips danced on the ice, diamond-scaled skin glittering in an unknown light source. Squall narrowed his eyes, wisely choosing to say nothing, and instead turned back to stare at the comfortingly silent table.

            I bet she's not even real, he dug his fingers into his hair, closing his eyes, I bet I'm schizophrenic, and she's my subconscious trying to tell me something I'd rather not admit.

            Squall sighed, and resumed listening to the conversation Seifer was having with his friends.

            "-and Zell keeps getting into fistfights over the hotdogs. It takes both me an' Fuj to get him off of whoever he's attackin', and then it's the same thing the next day, and every fuckin' hour Nida stops by, wantin' to know where you are and if you're mad at him. It's almost like you've died, ya know? I think me'n Fuj are the only students who actually know what's goin' on, and-" across from Raijin, the red eye narrowed.

            "NO."

            "What'dya mean, 'NO'? Someone else know?" Fujin turned, and it was then that Seifer realized they were actually sitting next to each other, but at different computers.

            "ME."

            "I know you know. That's what I said, you'n me-" Raijin looked confused.

            "NO. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME." Seifer could've laughed at the expression on his male friend's face.

            "Oh," It was quiet, and Raijin shifted backwards, almost to the edge of the small picture frame, "Eh…I didn't realize, Fuj." He gave a nervous laugh before casting a panicked glance at Seifer. The blond smirked.

            "Relax, Fu," he told the screen, "it was just a spell mishap thing. I can't get further than five feet from Leonhart or the boy starts choking. Nothing to worry about." The woman frowned.

            "SEIFER NOT HURT?" He held up both hands, as if this were proof of his well-being.

            "Nope, I'm fine. Only thing to worry about is me going insane, which I will if I don't get out soon." Fujin stopped advancing on Raijin to turn back towards the screen. Her frown deepened in uncertainty.

            "OKAY." She said doubtfully, and then gave a curt nod before her image flickered and died. Raijin glanced to his right, where Fujin presumably still was.

            "I'm gonna go now, Seif. Meet us in the Quad [1] in two hours or so, ya know? Don't let Leonhart hold you back; just drag 'im if he don't wanna come." He raised a hand in brief farewell, and then he, too, disappeared, leaving Seifer to stare at a relatively blank computer screen. With a sigh, he reached behind the screen, turning it off, and with a few erratic buzzes the screen went black.

            At the table, Squall turned his head minutely, glancing at Seifer out of the corner of his eye. The blue was shaded; half subdued by steely grey and the shadows of his ragged bangs, but a glimmer was till visible, letting the blonde know that he was being watched. He sighed, running a hand through short, soft hair and the few small strands that always evaded the styling gel before standing and stretching.

            "We don't have to go, if you don't want to," his voice was unusually soft; a tone that few could ever claim to have heard. If Squall noticed, he said nothing; only shifted slightly on the couch, watching the other man with unreadable eyes. Its invitation was not lost on the blonde, who immediately plopped down in the newly vacated seat and stretched his arms over the back of the small couch.

            The smaller man did his best not to shy away.

            I am not that skittish, Squall reprimanded himself.

Behind him, Shiva's nails ran along the ice wall, eliciting a sound like glass bells that echoed outlandishly in his mind. It was oddly soothing, for all that it was an Ice Goddess's escape from boredom, and Squall closed his eyes, leaning back and stretching his legs.

            He could feel the threatening heat of the arm; so close that his skin itched from the sheer thought of contact. It didn't move, however. The hand stayed a mere increment away, and it didn't jump at him, didn't grasp, didn't restrain; only rested harmlessly behind him. Squall leaned back onto it, testing hesitantly, and felt naught but warm skin and comforting weight. The muscles underneath bunched slightly, and fingers grazed the brunette's shoulder, but nothing more.

            Blue-grey eyes slowly opened as Squall leaned back forward.

            Seifer was watching him oddly.

            But that brief moment had prompted his decision, and, very slowly, he stood.

            Or he tried to. His leg was asleep, though, so he sat immediately back down, rubbing at the painfully ticklish muscles with a soft hiss. Eventually the stinging numbness subsided, and Squall looked back at Seifer.

            "Are you okay?" the blonde was frowning, his eyes showing confusion and an obvious doubt of the inevitable answer.

            "Yes,"

            Was it a lie, or a very vague affirmation? Seifer wasn't quite sure, but then again he didn't really care, either. So long as there were no more suicide attempts. He crossed his arms, and waited for whatever it was that Squall had wanted to say. It didn't take long.

            "I'll go," pause; a small frown, "with you, I mean. To the Quad…"

 "…I guess." He added after a moment.

            "You guess?" the brunette gave a soft groan.

            "I'm not looking forward to it, but I'll go anyway. Just don't ask why, and don't expect me to talk."

            "Wouldn't dream of it, Squally." Seifer grinned, rising to his feet and waiting for Squall to do the same. After a moment's glare, he did, running a hand through his hair before crossing his arms.

            They then made a quick trip to the bedroom in order to retrieve their gunblades, and then the two walked out of the door, the sharp silver of Revolver resting against fur and leather, and the blue hue of Hyperion held like and extension of Seifer's arm before him, glittering in the dim garden light.

Squall:

            I wasn't sure why I decided to go. Stupidity? A death wish? Momentary insanity?

            No, that wasn't right. Any insanity would be far from temporary. Closer to permanent and very extreme, I would think, but that didn't matter. The important thing was staying close to Seifer, and not choking, and not dying. He didn't seem to remember I existed, which was understandable, so it was mostly up to me to make sure I was within range.

            It was strange, how second-nature that was becoming; wait until Seifer was hungry to eat, wait for him to wake up before I could get out of bed, wait for him to agree to go to the library, wait for him to shut up so that I could think. It was scary, horrifying, even; knowing that when the spell was broken it would feel as if a part of my life was missing.

            Because I had been stuck with him so long. I wouldn't miss him; not in the least. I would be glad when he was gone.

            Wouldn't I?

            A giggle like snowfall in the back of my mind. Shiva.

            I don't know what you find so funny. For some reason, I had a feeling I had done something in the infirmary; something I would regret ever knowing if I found out. I knew, though, due to the same intuition, that Shiva remembered what I did not, and that it was very vital that I discover what it was, sooner or later.

            Preferably later. From the looks of things, it wasn't something I'd be proud of, and my last suicide attempt was far too recent to risk another.

            I sighed.

            Suicide.

            I didn't know why it kept happening. I remembered nothing from that day; only running, running and not stopping, and poison green-brown eyes. I could feel the scars underneath the bandage, but I had not looked at them. To look at them would be to admit that I was weak; to admit that my strength came only from Shiva, and that I was merely a child.

            Yet I loved my scars. They kept me real, kept me bound in my skin, and they would never leave me. Would never fade. They would never leave me alone on a stormy day, tears falling in mockery of the rain; when two Squalls cried their last for the world that hated them so much.

            I was staring at white tile; stationary white tile, and wondering vaguely why I was still breathing. Seifer should have been gone by now.

            "Squall?" Or perhaps I wasn't invisible after all. I frowned.

            "Kindness doesn't suit you," and so it didn't. Seifer was arrogance incarnate; he was beauty and strength and sex all rolled into a person who was very aware of this fact. He was the sort of person who would love someone until the end of time, would never leave them; assuming they were good enough for him.

            I laughed a little, and it tore at my throat, unsuited to this alien action.

            There is no way I'm good enough.

            "Good enough for what?" he asked curiously.

            Huh?

 I guess I didn't realize that I'd said that aloud.

            I blinked, watching him through my hair. The uneven strands hung in front of my eyes like they always did; I made no move to brush them aside, instead learning to look around them. Seifer was watching me, hands in the deep pockets of his trench coat. He was smirking.

            I scowled. He was too annoying for his own good.

            A deep breath, and I started to walk again, hoping he would get the hint. He didn't. Hyne, was this man stupid or something?

            Let's go, I thought impatiently, crossing my arms. The blonde in front me of just mirrored the action, and I felt myself glare. We didn't have time for this. I just wanted to get to the DC meeting, and then get back to our dorm as quickly as possible. But then, Seifer had always been an ass.

            I felt the incredible urge to kill him, mostly caused by the long-unused gunblade in my hand. Bloodlust was an unfamiliar feeling; I was used to the simple acceptance of the fact that to live, others had to die. But Seifer

            Seifer pushed buttons I didn't even know I had. A simple twitch of hips lips could make me hate him, while a mere glance…

            What in Shiva's name was I thinking?

            "DC meeting," I said, my voice a bit shorter than I'd meant it to be. He frowned, but nodded, and I started to walk again, wondering what had gotten into me, and why Shiva wouldn't stop giggling.

Seifer:

            Squall really was a cat.

            The minute we'd walked up to Fuj and Raj, he had crossed his arms and refused to talk. Fujin just ignored him, and Raijin gave up after several attempts to get him to talk.

            It had felt good to get back into the swing of the Disciplinary Committee; I hadn't even realized how much I had missed it. In a matter of seconds I was back to stalking the hallways, searching for one of the many 'repeated offenders' that had shown up in my absence.

            The first were simply a group of new students that were trying to take over the cafeteria. They'd never met me before.

            I smirked.

            And, to be sure, now they wished they'd never had.

            They hadn't even noticed my Squall-shaped shadow; too preoccupied with the gunblade glittering in my fist. So what if weapons weren't allowed? They break the rules, I break the rules, and at least I was doing it to keep others in line.

            The second offenders were a bit tougher to deal with. It was a group I was very well acquainted with; a certain club of near-graduates who seemed to think that they ran Garden, and I'd had to inform them otherwise many times before.

            Fujin and Raijin had been unable to intimidate them in my absence, and they had grown a bit unruly. It was only a matter of minutes before I whipped them back into shape, leaving all but their leader looking for the nearest exit.

            Their leader, on the other hand, was staring at Squall, who was trying his best to hide behind me without making it too obvious as to what he was doing. The punk smirked.

            He smirked!

            Who did this guy think he was; me? I narrowed my eyes, stepping forward and effectively blocking Leonhart from the guy's view. I could practically feel my roommate relax. Seriously screwed up, Squall was. The brown eyes of the club leader glittered maliciously.

            "Is that Leonhart?"

            No, it's a life-size replica I carry around for sexual purposes. Hyne, did this guy have nothing better to do than state the obvious?

            I didn't bother to dignify him with a response, I just rolled my eyes, wondering how he'd even gotten elected as leader.

            "Why is he following you around, Almasy? Did you need backup to take care of me? Oh, I'm flattered." More like flattened. In approximately .02 seconds, or however long it would take me to swing Hyperion at his throat.

            Whoa, Seifer; deep breath. Do not kill your fellow students.

            I was pretty sure that was a rule, right? I mean, it had to be. Right?

            Fuck! What if it wasn't? That would be the loophole from heaven. I was smiling now, and the punk backed up. His face didn't betray fear, only confusion.

            "Listen, Nooj [2]," I told him, idly running a gloved hand down the blue steel of Hyperion, "I don't have time to deal with you and your little card club. I'm getting really bored of kicking your ass every time I see you, so just stop, ok?" That got him riled up. I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears, and he took a faltering step forward.

            I just hoped he had the stupidity to try and hit me. But he didn't. Or maybe he didn't have the courage; either way, his gaze instead locked onto Raijin and Fujin.

            "So, you couldn't handle me yourself, and had to get Big Bad Seifer to protect you?" His laughter was weak, and became weaker when Fujin cocked her head innocently, red gaze betraying the expression.

            "YES," She said simply. I saw Nooj's eyes narrow.

            "Fucking pathetic," but he didn't seem so convinced of it. Raijin laughed.

            "Whatever, man. Seifer's the leader for a reason. We always follow him, ya know." I could see the gears working in the punk's head as he turned next to Squall.

            Leonhart only narrowed his eyes, and I'm pretty sure I was the only one who saw the small shift he made towards me. He was making it really hard not to jump in front of him like some Knight in shining armor, protecting the Ice Prince from unwanted gazes.

            This attraction was becoming ridiculous. Even Squall wasn't that attractive.

            "And you?" Nooj took a step towards Leonhart, malice written in the lines of his face. To his credit, my roommate didn't move; didn't flinch. He just stood there, a statue of black leather and slate blue eyes, ragged silver-brown hair falling haphazardly over his features, shading ivory skin.

            Okay, so maybe Squall was that attractive. Maybe more than just that attractive. He was beautiful. Completely beautiful. Nevertheless, I was pretty sure he'd hate me forever if I kissed him right there, so I refocused my attention on Nooj.

            Nooj, Seifer. Nooj. Not Squall.

            Right.

            I crossed my arms, realizing that Nooj was now barely three feet from Squall, a look like a wolf hunting its prey on his face.

            "Why are you following him around, Lion? Everyone knows that you're enemies. Rivals. You hate each other." A moment of exaggerated thought, and boots clicked once more on the mosaic that was Balamb's floor. He was only two feet from Squall, yet Leonhart didn't move.

            Was he smiling?

            "Perhaps there is something everyone," he indicated to the returning club members, scattered about the halls like wary deer, "should know?" A hand was placed on black leather, and I expected a flinch, at the very least. But there was nothing.

            Jealousy.

            I hated that more than anything. Why should Squall only react negatively to me? Was I that horrible? Was even Nooj allowed to touch him?

            "Maybe," It was a stage whisper now, a mockery of secrecy, "you should all leave right now, before someone," The hand on Leonhart's shoulder tightened threateningly, and I saw dark fingers grasp at the sword that was Nooj's weapon. I wanted to hurt him. Badly.

            "Gets hurt."

            No one saw Squall move, least of all Nooj. There was simply a flicker of black and the squeak of leather, and one of Leonhart's hands was wrapped around the punk's throat. I felt my eyes widen, ad saw Nooj's do the same. Apparently the Lion was fond of Haste.

            Squall tossed his hair back, uncovering his shaded eyes, and his fingers tightened.

            The club leader choked slightly, his own hands coming up to grasp at the leather-clad fist at his throat.

            It suddenly got very cold, and Squall scowled.

            "Don't threaten me. My reasons are my business. Not yours." Brown eyes bulged in dark skin, and with a small jerk, as if stuck, Leonhart withdrew his hand. I blinked.

            Blue painted Nooj's dark skin, wrapping around his throat in five long bars, the edges tinged with white. It was a handprint.

            No one said anything for a long moment, staring either at the print or at Squall. Gasping breaths echoed eerily in the too-cold halls, clouding like silver mist in front of stricken lips. It was a few minutes before Nooj got his lungs working again.

            "What-" It was halted, punctured with inconsistent breathing. A dark hand flew to the still-blue skin, feeling the frozen flesh tenderly. Green flowered at his fingertips, a small sparkling of emeralds and Phoenix eyes, settling into the skin and leaving a smell of mint and cool water behind. Ice faded, breathing eased.

            "That isn't pos…how?" footsteps skittered backwards, away from Squall, who was hidden beneath his hair again. His arms were crossed, and he turned his head away, scowling. Then Nooj halted, drawing himself upright as he glared at Leonhart. My fist clenched around Hyperion.

            "You'll regret that, Lion. I don't know what's going on here, but I will find out. Whatever your secret…whatever is wrong with you…wrong with your skin, I'll find out." He hissed, low and dangerous and not at al joking. Squall didn't seem impressed.

            "Whatever." He replied, and fell silent again, ignoring the world.

            Nooj took this opportunity to stalk away, followed by a very surprised card club.

            "Uh," I said observantly, and behind me Raijin snorted.

            "No shit." He agreed, "We could really use Leonhart on the DC." But Squall's frown only deepened.

            "No thanks," He turned away from us all, arms curling tightly into each other. The cold faded from the halls.

            "So who's hungry?" This was all way too fucking weird. Squall? Threatening people? I guess I didn't know him as well as I thought. It had certainly surprised Nooj as well.

            Lions were like that, though; sleeping most of the time, but Hyne save you if you woke one up at the wrong time.

            "ME." Silver hair fluttered in the corner of my eye as Fujin glanced at Squall.

            "Me, also. I'm dyin' of hunger, ya know?" Raijin turned to look at Squall, too. I think that after that, Leonhart would always be considered a member of the Disciplinary Committee, no matter how fervently he denied it.

            He apparently realized this, as well. The slender shoulders shrugged, and his hands fell to his sides as he faced us.

            "Whatever." He confirmed.

3rd Person:

            In less than ten minutes, the four stood in the cafeteria, trays in hand. Raijin had piled his high with strange mixtures of what appeared to be eggs and jello; a special request he had made to the chef. Fujin had a sandwich, her single red eye watching her friend's food wobble warily. Seifer had gotten a rare hotdog.

            Squall had an apple, which he rolled between his hands as they waited. The blonde looked over his shoulder at the other man.

            "You need to eat more," he stated, and the brunette frowned.

            "I don't get very hungry,"

            "I'm surprised you don't faint every two seconds, if that is what you eat. Here." A tray was shoved into reluctant hands, bearing a sandwich, pudding, and a hot dog. The apple was plucked out of Squall's fingers and piled on the tray with everything else. He scowled.

            "I'm not going to eat it," somehow he managed to make it sound completely unchildish, more of a resigned admittance than a blind stubbornness. Seifer turned, glaring down at the shorter man with emerald eyes.

            "Yes, you are."

            There was no response, at the risk of regressing back to when he was six. Instead, Squall sighed, shifting uneasily on his feet as he looked away.

            What is he; my mother? A sharp pang of memory, faded and forgotten and blurred by tears. Squall had no mother. No family. No one had really ever made sure he had eaten right, leading to his rather thin, if still moderately healthy, frame. The brunette almost smiled, lips twitching slightly in resistance to the foreign movement.

            Okay. I'll eat it. But just this once.

            It was nice to have someone almost care. Even if it was just Seifer on a power trip, it was better than nothing.

            The blonde watched indecision play over the younger man's face, before blue-grey eyes swept up from where they stared at the floor, meeting his own.

            "Fine," he said, picking up a water bottle near the end of the line before turning to wait for the others. Seifer blinked in surprise.

            Had Squall just obeyed him?

            He just stood there for a second, doing his best not to stare, until he realized he was holding up Fujin. It was never good to delay Fujin.

            So Seifer moved, standing next to Squall until his other friends were done, and then led the way to a table by the window; where he usually sat. The brunette slid into the booth next to him, a bit closer than the size of the seat dictated. He chose not to say anything, instead enjoying the apparent lack of the usual flightiness that was Squall.

~*~*~

            Squall was halfway through the hotdog when the lights went out.

            Thunder rumbled ominously overhead, lightning flickering in erratic imitations of the power it had stolen from Garden. Rain beat a constant tattoo on the windows, distorting blonde and brunette reflections.

            Seifer balked at the crashing sound, sighing discontentedly.

            "Just what we need," he grumbled to no one in particular, and sighed. He could see the landscape dark with water through the glass, and in the distance the bolts of white light illuminated a rocky plateau, worn with long battles.

            Then something tugged at his mind, and he turned to see Squall standing at the edge of the limit, looking at Seifer with something akin to urgency in his eyes. The brunette shifted anxiously, and as soon as he knew the other man was paying attention, he beckoned.

            "I want to go outside," he said softly, and the blonde's eyes widened.

            "In this? Are you fucking insane?"

            Blue eyes narrowed.

            "Maybe."

            Seifer groaned, standing despite his reluctance to leave.

            "I didn't mean it like that-"

            "I know," Squall interrupted, "Can we go?" He was almost…excited. His blue eyes were bright, his skin flushed as he watched the rain. The other man sighed, shrugging.

            "Fine. But if I get sick, I'm blaming you." He stepped grudgingly out of the booth, standing next to Squall.

            "Whatever," the brunette replied, and began to walk quickly towards the door. Seifer hurried to catch up, barely within five feet.

            In a matter of minutes they were outside, climbing up the hillside. Seifer hunched in his trench coat next to Squall, his strides long and hurried in order to keep up.

            "Fucking worst time to get in the mood for a nature walk," he muttered, "In the middle of a damn rainstorm-" He stopped when his rival did, looking around. They were at the plateau, the very place where this whole thing had started. Squall stood a few feet away, his face turned up to the sky.

            He was smiling.

            Seifer blinked.

            Squall.

            Rainstorms.

            Scars, lightening, and thunder.

            It all fit, all ran together like so many memories, front to back and round again. Everything was tied together, everything connected. Seifer gave a low laugh.

            "Looks like we're back at the beginning," he sighed, and next to him, Squall opened his eyes, looking at the landscape.

            The land was shedding every color but grey, washed away by the rain. Everything was dull, everything lifeless, except for Seifer; a god of golden and green, glaring at him through the storm.

            There was a moment of stillness, when even the thunder stopped, and Squall took faltering step forward. The blonde's eyes narrowed.

            "We should go in, Leonhart," Lightning was a distant illumination, highlighting pale yellow hair and emerald eyes. The brunette just stared at him from beneath soaked bangs a look of stricken realization on his features.

            Seifer cocked his head, stepping forward and leaning down a bit, looking into eyes that reflected a storm.

            "Are you okay?" It was quiet, concerned, and Squall opened his mouth as if to answer the older man.

            But, instead, he kissed him.

            It was then, with arms wrapped around broad shoulders, that the brunette realized the truth, the truth about everything that had happened; everything that he remembered, and even some things he didn't.

            Before he met Seifer, everything had been perfect. He had been nearly invisible; he had been ignored by everyone, and left alone to be alone, as he wanted. But then Sis left, and Seifer appeared, both on the same rainy day.

            He should have hated the rain for that, but he didn't. He loved rainstorms. There was something about the wildness of it all, the complete uncontrollability, that lured him. The same something that Seifer possessed.

            I guess perfect wasn't really perfect, Squall mused, listening to the distant rumble of thunder, and the very close rumble of Seifer's heart. There was something missing; something wrong. I just never realized it. But Shiva knew it, she knew something didn't fit.

            After Seifer came, everything was different. He was in the spotlight, always being picked on. And now, being forced to spend every second with him.

            He had been happy being unseen, but now…now he was happy, too.

            Different wasn't so different, after all.

            Squall pushed closer, wanting to feel the thunder of this new heartbeat. His arms tightened around the warm body, frozen inside by ice and rainwater. He was melting, though, slowly melting in the heat of this dream, despite the storm around him.

            Let the rain fall, he thought, So long as it doesn't wake me up.

            "Squall?"

            I'll be there in a second, just let me dream for a few more minutes. This is so…nice.

            Breath on his face, close and warm and all too real. Blue-grey eyes shot open, to stare into green.

            He wasn't dreaming.

            Oh, fuck! What am I thinking?!

            Squall pushed away, his breath ragged, quick with panic. He stumbled away from Seifer, avoiding the other's gaze.

            What had he done?

            "Squall?" The blonde took a step towards him, hand outstretched.

            He's going to hit me.

            The brunette wanted to scream, to cry, as he fell to his knees, hands buried in his hair.

            What had he done?

            His eyes widened as the other man came closer, footsteps crunching on the familiar battleground.

What had he been thinking? Kissing Seifer?

You love him.

The answer was sharp, icy, a glittering echo from behind diamond walls. She was smiling comfortingly, reaching for him with slender blue hands. Squall grasped at them, reveling in the detachment they brought.

Love?

He felt his body curl around itself on the wet earth, burying his head in his knees as he struggled with this revelation.

Then, pressure on his shoulder. A hand. Deep tan and strong; Seifer's hand.

No!

Squall surged to his feet, knocking the hand away.

Thunder echoed above him, and lightening flickered in his eyes, and he stared for a moment at the blonde, confusion on his features.

Then he turned, and ran.

End Chapter 9       

Finally. And Argh! That took even longer than the last chapter. Hrn. At least it's lengthy. And I was making Paella, so I have an excuse.

The end was confusing, I know, but hopefully it will make more sense when I add Seifer's perspective. I am dissatisfied with the second half of this chapter, now, though the first part is okay.

[1] Was there a Quad? I can't really remember the name of the place where they were supposed to have the festival.

[2] Nooj = bad. I don't like Nooj. He was deceptive and not as pretty as Baralai. Why did I give the sphere to him? Why?

I know Seifer and Sis didn't appear and leave on the same day, but I made it like that for the story.

You've got no idea how many grammatical and spelling errors typing Raijin's speech causes. It's like Christmas or something.

I love you all to itty-bitty bite-sized pieces! You make me happy, and are my inspiration. ^_^ I am so glad you like this fan fiction. (Unless you don't, which begs the question; why did you make it to chapter 9?)

Read?

Review!