See first chapter for details
(I've decided that time has now been completely disregarded. Any inconsistencies will be explained by the simple 'I do not write about days in which nothing happens, so you don't ever hear about them' concept. I would also like to take this time to say the AFI (the band, not the company) rocks. Really.)
Listened to Enya when writing this. It helps with the mood. (Except for the first part).
A Fate Worse Than Death
Chapter 13
3rd Person:
"Holy Hyne!" Selphie screamed, pointing an accusatory finger at Seifer, "You've killed Squall!"
Seifer:
Of all the things Squall could've done, fainting was the least expected. I knew that something was wrong as soon as I told the girl we were dating, because everything suddenly got very cold, as it hadn't in a long time, and the arm across Leonhart's back nearly froze before I jerked it away with a yelp. I had, of course, been joking about the dating thing, but then Squall was mentally incapable of understanding humor, so I should have expected…something. But not fainting.
I didn't expect him to get so freaked out, either. After the cold came even more cold, and he wasn't responding to anyone's voice. Just stood there like a fucking ice sculpture. Then the chicken had the brilliant idea of poking him in the shoulder, which led to a loss of balance on Leonhart's part and a fist to Zell's face on mine. The idiot manage to block it, but I was already too busy picking up Squally-boy to care; pushing the other two out of the way as they tried to do the same. My hands immediately went numb, and I pulled them away. He stirred.
"You okay?" I asked gently, and that's when he fainted. Stared up at me with endless blue eyes, and I expected him to punch me and run, and hoped that he would wrap his arms around me. He did neither.
That was why I was sitting in the middle of the Quad with the Lion in my arms, looking a bit more worried than I would've liked, given my company. Selphie was bouncing around worriedly, shattering glass with her squeals, and had I not had my arms full with the sexiest (excluding me) person in Garden I probably would've summoned Ifrit on her ass. Or something.
Instead I just glared, gathered Squall more securely into my arms, and made for our dorm, ignoring the now-dull pain in my ankle. I was in no mood to put up with his friends at that moment. They, however, seemed to have a different idea. Selphie, frowning, stood in front of me with hands on hips, and despite her small size she managed to look extremely threatening. Zell was behind her, sulking.
"Where do you think you're going, mister?" The brunette asked me, and I had to concentrate on not just kicking her out of the way and leaving. Things like that tended to come back and bite you in the ass. Squall stirred in my arms, and a hand wound itself into my shirt, and I relaxed a bit, not wanting to convey anything but peace.
"I'm taking him back to our room," Despite my (what I hoped to be) nonthreatening expression, she did not seem convinced. Funny, too, because for once I wasn't planning on doing any more than just that.
"..and we're supposed to trust you on that?" Zell this time, frowning, and I was mildly impressed by his apparent concern for Leonhart. Impressed and insanely, possessively jealous.
"Listen, Dincht," Hell if I was gonna be on a first-name basis with a chicken, "Not like it's any of your business, but I don't plan on ever hurting Squall. Ever. So just relax, okay? He's perfectly safe with me." He didn't seem convinced (not like I'd expected him to be), but to my surprise Selphie smiled. She must have ADD or something.
"You really like him, don't you?" Had to give her credit for that one. I didn't really want to answer it, though, even if I knew I probably had to.
"Ah…" I stalled, unconsciously shifting Leonhart in my hold so that he wasn't in such an awkward position. This was rewarded with Squall giving a soft sigh and clutching reflexively at the front of my shirt, and Selphie's smiled widening.
"You know," she continued despite my lack of comprehensible reply, "he really likes you, even if he doesn't show it." She paused, smiled fading, "so you'd better be careful with him. You either devote yourself to him, or you get out now, and never look back. He's fragile, Seifer." Her voice was even now, and flat, and I felt a chill up my spine that could've been from the fading cold or something else entirely. I hadn't really ever thought of my pursuit of Squall in that way, but now that I did…
"I know," I told her, and for once there was no doubt, "I told you he's safe with me, and he is. I don't plan on ever hurting him, and if anyone else tries to I'll kill them." In that moment there was no sound, only silence and the soft whispers of my voice as it faded. It was strange, like a foreshadowing of things to come. But this was no book, no planned story where everything ties in and the ending is absolute no matter what the conclusion.[1] This was real life.
Regardless of this, I was considerably relieved when Selphie spoke again.
"Good!" She bounced, stepping out of my way with a flourish, "Because if you do, you'll regret it. I promise."
There was that fucking ominous feeling again.
3rd Person:
Seifer was really not looking forward to school the next day, and he had a nagging feeling that Squall wasn't either. However, due to the fact that the brunette was still draped limply in his arms, this could not be confirmed, but it hardly mattered.
Upon getting rid of Selphie and Zell, the blonde had taken the fastest route to the dorms, ignoring the girls that attempted to flirt with him in what was becoming a habitual way. Were they always this stupid? Had they absolutely no regard for the fact that he was carrying someone who would most definitely not put up with being carried under normal circumstances? He bit back a growl as yet another small group tried to pull him aside, a raven-haired beauty he sort-of recognized trying to claim inefficiency in gunblading techniques.
Unable to run a hand through his hair in frustration, Seifer settled for glaring as he paused his hurried gait.
"Well, no fuck you're inefficient," he ground out, becoming even more annoyed at the sight of her obviously-feigned hurt expression, "you aren't studying the gunblade. Honestly, if you're trying to get my attention, at least be intelligent about it." This didn't seem to dissuade the girl, through, and she took a slow step forward, hips swinging in a way that would definitely have gotten his attention, had Squall not shifted the slightest bit, evoking the need for Seifer to adjust his grip lest the other boy be uncomfortable.
"I don't think you heard me properly, Seify," the girl purred, and Seifer winced at both the lecherous tone and the nickname. Dark chocolate slanted in an eye-catching smile. Green eyes were focused on Squall, ignoring the woman in front of them, who didn't seem to notice.
"I said I needed help practicing my…gunblading techniques." This was accompanied by a blatantly obvious once-over of his lower regions, to which Seifer rolled his eyes.
"I don't have time for this," he spat, and then he resumed the fast-paced (if still a bit unsteady) walk to his dorm. Girls were really, really annoying.
Squall:
Was it weird, to be conscious in unconsciousness? Perhaps I was just waking up. After all, though my vision remained dark, I could make out faint voices from somewhere beyond me, dulled by the pounding of blood in my ears. Touch was muffled, thick, like my limbs were swollen, and my pulse was heavy and monotonous, beating almost painfully under my skin. I could feel cloth against my fingers, and I clutched it at, seeking an anchor in the bewildering darkness. I wasn't sure if my fingers responded or not, but I felt better.
I wondered if it was Seifer that I grasped at. I could feel something restraining me, but the burning feeling wasn't there, and that rarely happened with anyone but him. Then suddenly there was another beat outside of my heart, clicking painfully in my ears.
Footsteps. I realized; I was moving. Or, more likely, Seifer was moving. I hated being carried.
For some reason, my body decided that it wanted to walk by itself, and though I still couldn't see, I felt my feet hit the floor, and there was a muffled noise from Seifer. My muscles weren't quite working, though, and little white stars were beginning to dance in the darkness, slowly growing bigger until the inky blackness was banished, leaving me disoriented and half-strewn on the floor.
Seifer was looking down at me with a single raised eyebrow, and I blinked rapidly as blood flow grew normal, leaving me feeling a bit dizzy and sick. It was then that I realized I had a death grip on his arm, and that it was the only thing holding me upright, seeing as my feet had forgotten how to gain traction on floors.
My breathing was heavy, labored, and for a moment I wondered how the hell I had gotten here.
Then I remembered. Everything. Anger bubbled inside my chest, but it was weak and soon faded. I didn't have the energy for anger, for hate. I was so tired. A sigh escaped my lips, and I attempted to pull myself upright, using Seifer's arm as a lever.
It wasn't working very well until he helped me, steadying the uncontrollable sway of my body with his, and he wrapped an anchoring arm around me. Thankfully, he didn't say anything about me fainting or something equally embarrassing, and only ran a gentile hand through my hair.
"I'm sorry," His voice was low, unexpected, and I froze, nearly falling over in surprise (or possibly lack of blood to my legs). Seifer never apologized for anything. Not seriously, anyway. Especially something that he would usually have considered so trivial. I tried not to let my eyes widen in shock as I gazed at him, and to my great astonishment he didn't just stop there.
"About what I said, I mean," he wasn't looking at me, instead focused on something I couldn't see, and his face was a pale pink, almost undetectable. He was blushing? What the fuck? I thought I was going to faint again.
"I mean, I ah…I didn't mean to upset you. So…sorry." He still wasn't looking at me, and I blinked, trying to process the fact that this could very well be the end of the world. There was no earthquake, though; no rain of fire or blood, and nothing turned to ash[2]. There was only Seifer, not looking at me, and the semi-empty hallway leading to our dorm. I was struck by the realization that I should probably say something.
"That's okay, I don't really have a problem with being your boyfriend."
…
Fuck.
Why did I say that? What the hell was I thinking?
I know what I was thinking. I was suicidal; that is what I was thinking. Why else would I say something so stupid? I should just go stab myself in the throat with my gunblade.
Was that Shiva laughing?
With an inward groan, I ignored the light sound of bells in the back of my mind, focusing instead on Seifer, who was looking just about as surprised as I felt.
"Really?" he asked, and I detected the smallest amount of some unknown emotion in his voice. I bit my lip.
No, not really. I was joking! Ha! Ha!
"Yeah. Really."
Oh, holy fucking Hyne. I should really just go stab myself in the head. I was never going to live this down. Seifer was going to laugh, and the rest of my life would be made a living hell, until I died, and then it'd be a non-living hell.
But then there were arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and lips upon my own, and I dug my hands into his shirt and opened my mouth, pushing closer.
Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing.
Wait…no. No, it was. It was a very bad thing. A very, very…
Hands under my shirt, gliding up the planes of my back, and I sighed blissfully as Seifer managed to open our door while simultaneously sucking on my collarbone. My own hands began to trace the smooth definitions of his stomach, pushing upwards…
Argh! No! This was bad! Bad and…
My jacket came off, followed by my shirt, and the brief glimpse of bandaged flesh was ignored as Seifer was kissing a path down my chest, soft touches like butterfly wings on my stomach, and I groaned and pulled him back to my lips, eyelids fluttering in ecstasy as he buried his hands in my hair, tugging gently. A tongue tracing my lips, teeth pressing against the soft flesh, and then he was back to biting at my neck, hands massaging my hips. Fire jolted through my body, and my breath hitched, and I felt the pressure in my lower stomach that confirmed my impending doom. But it was a good sort of doom.
Fuck. What was I doing? Doom is bad. Always bad. Just look where that stupid Doom spell got me!
…on the floor with Seifer pressing kisses against my skin, hands massaging gently until I was pretty sure I couldn't move even if I had wanted to.
Which I didn't.
So maybe Doom could be good. But even so, I was pretty sure I wasn't ready for the next step, and my pants were already slipping lower and lower due to my squirming, stretched over my protruding hipbones, which Seifer was currently sucking on.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck fuck fuck fuck that felt good. Regardless, we had to stop.
"Nngh…" I told him, tugging weakly on the arms that were still wound around my body. He glanced up, and despite my complete lack of use of an actual language, he seemed to understand. Giving my right hipbone a fleeting bite, he licked a path up my stomach, pausing to dip into my belly button.
My breath hitched, and my entire upper body jerked a bit, my fingers tightening around Seifer's arm as the fire in my veins burned anew. I was very definitely aroused now, but I didn't want to do anything about it at the moment. Instead, I focused on Seifer, who looked as if he was going to do it again.
"No," it was breathy, weaker than I wanted to admit, and I tugged on his upper arm before he could complete my undoing. A single golden eyebrow was raised, but he gave a brief nod and sat back, gazing down at where I was strewn on the floor.
Nothing was said for a few moments, and he simply watched me, eyes lingering on my face and chest and hips. A small smirk appeared when he caught sight of the way my pants currently seemed to be…falling up, but he didn't say anything, and instead reached out to skim a hand over my stomach and chest. I could see the glimmer of old scars stretched over my skin. Some were from battles and such, but most were self-inflicted, and Seifer seemed to realize this as he touched them, eyes softening from hard-edged jade to the liquid depth of emerald pools.
It was then that I remembered how I hated to be stared at and squirmed a bit, bringing his eyes to my face.
"A lot of scars," he whispered softly, so completely unSeiferlike that it caught me off guard. I frowned a bit and averted my gaze. A lot of memories, too, but those faded as Shiva took them. Scars didn't fade, not really. True scars are eternal. This way, I'd be reminded, even as I forgot. I sighed, and looked back to the man above me. He probably wouldn't see it like that, but then I didn't blame him. These were my almost-deaths. I hated them, even as I loved them, but the love I felt for them was twisted. I didn't mind if Seifer hated them, just so long as he didn't hate me as well.
Hands continued to trace the silvery marks, dipping into the hollows beneath my ribcage and the curves of my chest and stomach. They skimmed up to my collarbone, resting gently on Griever, and he tapped the frozen roar before moving to rest his hand next to my head. His knees were on either side of my waist, and he brought his other arm to rest opposite it's counterpart before sliding slowly to his elbows.
Lips touched mine again, and all memories of not wanting this were banished as I wound my arms around his. It was slower, now; more chaste, and then he pulled back again, sitting next to me as he looked around our dorm. I sighed, reached out and wound my fingers into his shirt and dragged myself half into his lap, letting my still-weak body (both from fainting and the recent events) flop sideways against his chest. His right arm wrapped itself around my still-unclothed torso.
"Are you hungry?" he asked suddenly, and I looked down.
"After I take a shower," I was still very aware of my current state of arousal, and apparently so was Seifer, because he grinned.
"You seem to be doing that an awful lot lately," he teased, eyes following my own, "but I guess I just have that effect on you." I rolled my eyes and used his shoulder to push myself to my feet.
"Fuck you," I retorted, glaring, and Seifer stared up at me a moment, eyes following the pale planes of my body.
"Don't I wish," he mumbled, and then dragged himself to his feet next to me.
"But, hell, now that we're an item I guess I won't be wishing for long," this was accompanied by a lecherous wink, and I sighed and punched him.
"Ow! Fuck! I thought you were tired, Leonhart!" he whined, rubbing his arm, and I couldn't help but smile.
"I am," I informed him, "now shut up and follow me to the bathroom or I'll do it again." Green eyes narrowed, but he didn't object, and stayed as far away from me as the limit would allow as we walked to the bathroom. Once inside, he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall in an obvious sulk.
He was still like that when I came out, though a bit less sulky, and when he persisted even after I'd finished towel-drying my hair[3] I frowned. He didn't notice.
After several more minutes of this, I rolled my eyes and retrieved my pants, pulling them on under the towel. The towel was then folded over the drying rack, and running a hand through my half-dry hair I stepped next to Seifer, looking up at him.
He ignored me, staring at the mirror, and I sighed and leaned my forehead against his chest. When there was no response I frowned. Glancing up at him, I jumped a bit when I felt fingers ghosting along my back, and unconsciously leaned into the touch. He finally looked down at me.
"You even have scars on your back," he stated, and I turned to follow his gaze in the mirror. My reflection stared back at me, pale against Seifer's, and I saw silver scars stretched over my back in the mirror, like pair of twisted wings.
"Yeah," I confirmed, and left it at that. I didn't want to talk about that past right now, in which I'd mutilated every surface available, hoping that maybe then I'd be beyond help. Maybe then I'd die.
My arms tightened reflexively around Seifer, and I felt the hand on my back slip into my hair, caressing my scalp and turning all of my muscles to water.
"Hungry, now?" he asked, apparently sensing my unwillingness to talk, and I nodded, trying to ignore the fact that I had completely forgotten why I hadn't wanted this before.
End Chapter 13
[1]Actually, I lied. It kinda is.
[2]And 50 Cent still sucks. *cough*
[3]He doesn't comb it, except on rare occasions.
Yes, the whole make-out thing was abrupt, but it had been so long. And I was bored. I'm thinking I'll have somewhere around twenty chapters in this thing. Also, for anyone wondering…uh…I've no idea how much time has passed, but it hardly matters. You'll see what I mean later on.
And I love you all *big tears in eyes*. You each deserve personal thanks, but you've no idea how long that would take, and I have homework that needs to be done.
As for the poll, the results are:
You pronounce it 'Sai-fur', or something very close to that, mostly because Balinese no Neko gave such a completely professional explanation that even if she were wrong I'd still believe her.
I'm still pronouncing it 'Say-fur', though, because old habits die hard, and I wouldn't want to kill him, anyway. ^_^
And Alance? You're a psychic. I'm serious. I was halfway through the scene when I read the reviews, and was all 'holy shit!' So, yeah. I want to marry all of you.
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