Title: Armageddon HP Style

Author: Jennifer

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or any original dialogue from the movie Armageddon.

Chapter 3: Training

General Abbott spoke to William Artel. "If you're trying to make me feel better about this, give it up."

"To tell you the truth, I'm kind of encouraged," said William. "This guy Oliver has been playing sports all his life and would make a great leader on the mission."

"But look at Draco Malfoy. He's been getting into trouble all his life. Don't you think he's gonna somehow screw up the mission?"

"Draco may be a troublemaker, but he's very intelligent."

"So am I, and I'm not so confident. We spend $250 billion dollars a year and here's what we come out with: the fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun!"

Harry approached the two conversing men. William turned to him. "So what's the verdict?"

"They'll go," Harry said. "But they've made a few requests."

"Such as?"

"Such as…Draco would like to be Head Boy of the Slytherin house at his school. Um, Oliver wants to be put on a professional Quidditch team, and Ron wants to own a Wal-Mart here in the United States."

"Sure," said William. "I think we can uh…handle…some of that. Get ready, because your training begins in a while. Well, first the physicals."

"Okay," answered Harry, walking away.

2 ½ Hours Later

"Well," the doctor said to Draco, "your triglycerides are way high, and your bad cholesterol is shockingly bad."

"Bullshit!" yelled Draco.

"Okay, okay, okay!" Harry answered, trying to calm him down. "Let's not have an aneurysm."

"Fail, fail, fail!" the doctor said as he went through each health report.

"Can they physically survive the trip? That's all I need to know," William said.

"Personally," the doctor said sarcastically, "I don't know how they survived the tests."

Author's Note: Okay, I had no bloody idea how to go into detail about the physicals! So please, if anyone has any suggestions, don't hesitate to post them!

Thanks!

Skibbles