Notes to the WonderfulReviewers (I only got 4 new ones??)
ed: christine, right?
amaya: glad you like it... the next chapter will hopefully be a LOT more like the first
LandUnderWave: I don't know... I've only read those books a couple of times... We'll see...
Dom's Lover: Yes, making people outraged is fun and I'm glad you liked my Angry Alanna... Here's Dom and Neal... and a few other people... hehehe, I couldn't resist adding them in...
Chapter 6: The Trial of Keladry of Mindelan
Writer: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and welcome to jollyrancher-j2k's random courtroom in which no two trials are the same, but all start and end the same way. Today, for fun, we will have Neal be the prosecutor… laughs evilly… That'll certainly liven things up a bit… Anyway, let us commence with the now-famous poof!
Everyone is now-famously poofed in.
Writer: Let's see… Keladry, take center stage and we will begin.
Kel: What did I do wrong? Oh, I hope you don't think I did something wrong. I could never live with myself knowing that you didn't trust me. You do trust me, don't you, Your Honor. Oh I hope you trust me…
Writer: Yeah, sure. So… I will now give Neal this scroll so he can read off the charges. Sir Nealan, if you would?
Neal: Opens scroll. Of course… ummm…
Writer: Generally reading involves gazing analytically at the paper in front of you…
Neal: Yes, right.
Writer: The charges?
Neal: Yes, of course, the charges… The charges are… are… meep!
Writer: Meep? What's meep?
Neal: Sorry, a bit of a voice disfunction there. Actually, can I go outside for a bit of fresh air… just for a moment?
Writer: No, I think you should read the charges first.
Neal: Well, is that really necessary? Why don't we just pass the scroll around… please? Whispers to Writer: Dom's a really fast runner and I'll need the head start!
Kel: Is there a problem, Your Honor? I would be ever so helpful if you needed help. Do you need any help?
Writer: No, Barbie, I'm fine.
Kel: Okay, if you're sure.
Writer: I am. Neal! Stop trying to sneak out and read the d!!! charges!!!
Neal: The accused is… charged with… cheating on her present sexual partner… with another man… whose name is… well… umm…
Dom: She cheated on me?! Who? With who? I'll tear the limbs from the man who did it! I swear I'll get him and I'll rip his skin off. I'll flay him with my bare hands!!!
Neal: Now, Dom do you really want to…
Writer: I agree with Dom. The man that did this should be stripped,drawn and quartered. Shame on him for messing with his brother… or in this case, his cousin.
Dom: What?! Which cousin? Was it Ernie? If it was I swear… Or was it Bert?! I knew he was shifty the moment I laid my eyes on his white turtleneck, multicolored sweater vest, and his yellow pointy head! Plus, he lives on Sesame Street… the name just screams villain!
Writer: Neal… Tell us who it was.
Neal: It was... erm… umm…uhh…mmmm…mmm…mmm…
Dom: Neal, I have to know! Tell me!!!
Neal: It was me! Goodbye.
Neal tries to run, but is unable to move because the Writer is as powerful as a god.
Dom: Youyouyouyouyouyou…
Neal: Meep!
Kel: Oh, Dommy… I would never do anything to hurt you. I love you. You are so beautiful… to me… can't you see? Dommy poo, don't be angry. I only did it to make me happy so I would give you better sex…
Dom: You HAD to sleep with him to sleep with me?!
Kel: Well… Neal and a few other… people.
Dom: What?!
Neal: You cheated on me too?!
Kel: I wasn't cheating on anyone. I was just giving you all some happiness.
Dom: Oh, so now you think you're Santa Claus, delivering presents to all the little boys and girls?
Kel: Oh, no… I wasn't giving away presents… I was giving away myself… and Dommy Poo, it's not like you own me.
Dom: Own you?! You think I have to own a girl before she stops screwing me over?!
Neal: Excuse me, but I think we're missing the most important thing here… She cheated on ME while cheating on you.
Writer: Yeah, who else did you invite into your bed, Kel?
Kel: Just people who looked like they needed cheering up.
Numair: Yeah, she cheered me up REALLY well!
Jon: Hey, there were moments when she cheered me so much…
Writer: OK, OK! No details people… This is supposed to be a PG fic… I hope the rating is still okay after this chapter.
Dom: You slept with NUMAIR AND DOM?!!!
Kel: Yes…
Numair: Actually, we just did it a couple of times… She said she had to go back to your room to cheer you up, so there was no time for sleeping.
Writer: Does PG not mean ANYTHING to you, Numy?
Numair: No, we don't have movies here, so…
Dom: Oh, can it, you black mage person! What am I going to do? Oh, Kel…
Neal: Hey, Kel, are we still on for tomorrow night?
Kel: Of course, Nealy… Anything to cheer up my best friend!
Writer: Actually, Kel, you won't be going anywhere for a while. Technically, you admitted that the charges are true, so I'm going to have to poof you into jail.
Kel: Whatever makes you happy, Your Honor. Say, you look so glum… Do you want to come by my cell later so I can cheer you up?
Writer: I am NOT going to even pretend I heard what you just said! Goodbye Kel!
Kel is poofed to a jail cell. Then, without saying anything, the Writer poofs away the other people.
Writer: I would have said something, but I can tell that Dom, Numair, Jon and Neal would have started saying things that were DEFINITELY NOT PG.
A/N: The last few chapters have been getting really bad lately, so I'm going to try making the next chapter much more random. Also, I am thinking about changing the rating so that I don't have to cover up swearing and stop characters from talking about their love lives, etc. What do you think?
