SPECIAL DISCLAIMER: In addition to not owning TP's stuff, I also don't own Peeps… or Wonder Woman, 'cause I don't think I wrote that in the last chapter…
ALSO: Has anyone noticed how they're cracking down on grammar and stuff here? I can't type three exclamation points next to each other or an exclamation and a question mark or... And the little star things don't work... wait, did they ever work?
Reviewer Answers:
Lady Leah of Chaos: Alanna really is fun to bash!
Lady Kaia: You read this in the middle of class! Where do you go to school? I wanna go there!
Lylei: Yay for Author Alert! And I'm not surprised you forgot about this fic… I forget about most fics unless there's a really good one that the author updates on a lot.
Amaya Sakura: Ooh, an original… What's it about?
wild black fire: Every time I type your name Word wants to capitalize it… Oh, well… Anyway, hope you like this new chapter. I churned it out randomly while listening to my sister's hip hop itunes songs and occasionally blasting 1985 and Vacation out of the speakers.
maliaphire: Ha! You know what? I completely forgot about my birthday! It's the 29th, thanks for asking!
Tiffy: hilarious if illogical… that review stuck in my mind for some reason… it sounds really cute… I don't know, I'm crazy… don't listen to my ramblings… hehehe…
Chapter 8 Part 2: Devilish Secrets
To continue from last time:
Owen: Oo! I have an idea! I do, I do! Pick me, please pick me! I have a really good idea!
Writer: Yes, Owen?
Owen: Let's put him on trial, so he has to tell us all his dirty secrets!
Neal: Excellent idea, Owen, my boy!
Kel: I believe that's the smartest thing you've ever said!
Numair: And that's not saying much…
Owen: Hey!
Writer: Hush, everyone! I will now do something that has never been done before in the history of Tortallan Court! I shall poof in the courtroom! OOOOOOO, AAAHHHHHH!
Alanna: I don't think you know how to do your ooh's right.
Writer: Shut up! Everybody watch as the courtroom comes to you!
Courtroom is poofed in.
Alanna: Wow… That was only the stupidest thing I've ever seen.
Writer: Hmph!
Neal: Okay, time to persecu—er—prosecute Joren.
Owen: Hehehe… Ya ha ha ha… lightning flash
Joren: What the hell? I thought you were supposed to be jolly.
Owen: Yes, but today I get to be jolly evil, right Neal?
Neal: Um, evil doesn't really work for you, Owen.
Joren: See? Told you so.
Owen: Oh yeah? Well… runs over to phone booth Watch this! spins around in phone booth and pops out in a devil costume Ya ha ha ha!
Joren: Hehehe… You look really cute.
Kel: Hehehehe… Yeah, all pudgy and like… like…
Neal: Like a big red marsmallow Peep devil! erupts into laughter
Owen: Wah! I want to be evil! Evil, evil, EVIL! I WANT MY MOMMY! runs off
Writer: Okay… Well, then.
Joren: Yeah, I think I'll just go home now…
Alanna: Hell no! You ain't goin' nowhere! We need to know more about Wonder Joren!
Numair: Yeah, what goes on in that head of yours, Jorey?
Kel: Maybe we could save you…
Alanna: Forget saving him! We just want to laugh at him!
Neal: So, Joren, what did you dream about last night?
Joren: This is ridiculous! And I don't have dreams… OF ANY SORT!
Alanna: Right… and I'm a Mithran priest.
Neal: Why don't you tell us about your little dreams, Joren?
Alanna: Yeah, Jorey, tell us all about them.
Joren: Hell no!
Numair: Ooh, ooh! Let me do a spell on him, please! It'll be so much fun!
Kel: You guys…
Alanna: Good idea, Numair!
Kel: …you can't just look in someone's head…
Alanna: Hey, Neal… Can we legally do a spell on him?
Kel: …even if it is Joren…
Neal: Hmm… There's nothing that would directly allow us to do it, but let me look in my Book of Tortallan Law and Court and Other Stuff.
Kel: …it's just morally wrong…
Neal: Here we go. We expect him of treason, so a truth spell is allowed. Go ahead Numair!
Kel: …and I'm afraid that I can't just let you…
Numair: casts spell Joren, what were you doing dreaming about Kel naked last night!
Kel: WHAT! Let me at that sick bastard. I'm gonna f#&# beat him to a pulp!
Joren: I was… meep!... I was… argh! I was dreaming about how sexy she looked in that armor the other day!
Kel: Ahhhhh! I'm gonna kill him!
Alanna: Hehehehehe… Hahahaha!
Numair: Okay… Well, we know Joren has a thing for lady knights…
Joren: Ugh! Lady Knights? No way! Lady Alanna is uglier than a horse's ass!
Alanna: Let me at that bastard!
Joren: No, it was Kel's hair. So… sexy!
Numair: You think that Kel's short, unevenly chopped, plain, straight, dull brown hair is SEXY!
Kel: Hey… My hair isn't unevenly chopped!
Joren: Well, yeah.
Numair: Do you think that my hair is sexy?
Joren: Eh… Let me feel it… Hmm… Not bad, but it's got a bit too much gel in it… I like things natural.
Numair: Sniff, sniff… That is natural! breaks down sobbing
Daine: Oh, look! Now you've gone and made him cry! I hate men who cry!
Numair: Wah!
Daine: Numy, just ask him another embarrassing question. It'll make you feel better and hopefully get you to stop crying.
Numair: Okay… Joren, what's your deepest, darkest secret?
Joren: No way!
Numair: You have to say! There's a truth spell on you, remember?
Joren: No, I can't say it! Not in front of… HER!
Alanna: Ooh! It involves a Her!
Kel: If this one involves me too, I'm really gonna kick his tiny little ass!
Joren: No, it's…
Alanna: Yes…
Joren: It's…
Alanna: Yes…
Joren: Will you stop saying yes?
Alanna: No…
Joren: Okay, I have something to confess!
Neal: Out with it!
Joren: I… am… in love with…
Alanna: WHO? WHO? WHO?
Joren: THIS FLOWER! breaks down sobbing Aw, she's so beautiful… Look at that petal! JUST LOOK AT IT!
Kel: Okay, I think he's finally gone off the deep end.
Alanna: Yeah, I don't even see a flower.
Neal: I think he's talking about that purple Wakeflower.
Numair: Oo! Wakeflower? Where!
Daine: No, bad Numy! No! Neal, why'd you have to say Wakeflower!
Numair: Wakeflower? WAKEFLOWER! Me want Wakeflower! charges Joren
Joren: No! It's mine! My flower! they start wrestling
Alanna: Boy, men sure are smart!
Joren and Numair wrestle some more and roll over the wakeflower
Joren: Now look what you've done! You killed it! My baby! My poor sweet flower-wower! Crushed in the prime of her life! Wah!
Numair: Sheesh, get a grip! It was only a flower!
Joren: Only a flower? ONLY A FLOWER? Joren charges Numair and they wrestle again
Writer: Okay, well, this looks like it might get messy, so I'm gonna poof now! Bye!
