Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, events and/or places that are recognized as being written and created by J.K. Rowling. J.K. Rowling owns all the characters and places from the Harry Potter books including the ones used in this story.
A/N: A big plate of cookies to the lovely reviewers and readers!! Muah!
And I know I said, "I update every monday night!", but I couldn't get the website to load. A whole night without any Harry Potter fan fiction! 'cries some more' Well, enjoy this chapter!!! :D
&&
"Sit over there, please Tonks."
"Remus," Tonks and Sirius whined in unison.
Remus pulled Sirius into the empty chair next to Tonks. Sirius straightened up in his chair and threw Tonks a 'get-up-now' look, jerking his head back for effect.
"I don't want to get up," Tonks said, ignoring her cousin's attempt at authority. Remus pulled Tonks' chair, with Tonks still in it, out from the table. "Fine! Have your freaky little boys-club meeting! Wankers!"
Tonks spun out of her chair, smacked her head into Remus's chest, then smacked a hysterically laughing Sirius across the head, and then stormed over to the other side of the table.
Remus sat down in the empty chair, and pulled himself quietly and stiffly up to the table.
Sirius brushed his hair off of his shoulder in one overly flourish move. "One, two, thr…"
"Sirius, what do you think your doing?"
"You could've at least waited till I finished the word three."
"Hermione brushed your hair!" Remus's whispered hiss drew an odd stare from the rest of the table, but he tried his best to ignore it.
"She did a pretty good job; a little rough, but I can take it." Sirius winked, for the simple want of seeing the little throbbing vain over Remus's ear to start beating double time.
Remus pressed on the spot in between his eyes, dragging his finger down the length of his nose. "You are thirty-three years old. You should not be getting your hair brushed and your room cleaned for you anymore. Does none of this seem creepy to you?"
Reaching for the potatoes and slopping a huge spoonful onto this plate, Sirius considered stuffing his belly with so much starch and fat thathe wouldexplode in a dramatic explosion therefore giving him a way to avoid having to once again answer any of Remus's questions. He thought them all to be like theoretical needles popping his balloon of fun; and they were annoying him.
"Remus, Moony, my best mate. This would be creepy if I was being serious."
"Are you being serious?"
"Who else am I supposed to be?"
Remus tried to force his smile into an annoyed grimace. "That was never funny, by the way."
Sirius huffed and turned his attention back to his plate. "I need bread. Where's the bread?"
"It's down at the end," Remus sighed. "And don't think that changing the subject is going to make me actually change the subject."
Sitting up straight, Sirius peered past Remus and saw the heart sinking image of an almost empty bread basket in front of Arthur Weasley.
"Arthur," Sirius called. "Can you pass the bread, please?"
"You have a wand!"
"Um, I said please….?"
The bread basket came soaring down the table, accompanied by Mrs. Weasley's scolding "Arthur". Remus caught it just before the basket would have smashed Sirius's eye balls further into their sockets. He looked inside and smiled. "One left," he whispered.
Sirius whimpered.
"Here," Remus laughed, thrusting the basket into Sirius's waiting hands.
"What do you think his problem is?" Sirius asked, flashing his eyes towards Arthur, so that Remus wouldn't miss who he was talking about.
"I should have let that basket hit you," he said, shaking his head. Remus refused, just plain refused, to believe that Sirius was really being that naïve. "It was the sundae I refused to make you, wasn't it?"
"…what?" Sirius asked, after swallowing his mouth full of roll.
"That sundae started this whole thing. Hermione probably heard me refuse to make it for you, with good reason. Then she took the opportunity to one up Ginny. Ginny became enraged, I'm sure, and so began today's 'war of favors'. I should have just made it myself."
Sirius put his arm around Remus, who tried to confusedly pull away. "Don't be upset, Moony! Hermione's sundae was rubbish compared to yours. She didn't even draw Padfoot on the top with the syrup."
"I know you like that," Remus said, before he closed his eyes and threw Sirius off of him. "What am I saying!? That's not the point."
"What is the point, then?"
"Well, the sub point is that Sirius Black should not get a sundae made for him simply because he's too lazy to make it for himself." Sirius dropped his mouth in mock offence. "The real point is that…"
"He's just having fun, Remus!"
Remus and Sirius turned their attention to the red faced Tonks sitting in front of them. "It's not like he can go on actual dates with them."
"Yes I can!"
"Where?" Tonks asked, sarcastically. "The basement or the kitchen?"
Sirius sat back, folding his arms across his chest. He shook his head, letting his long hair fall like a drape over his face. "I don't even want to look at you," he said, from behind his mask.
Continuing to stare at Tonks, Remus tried to hide his look of disappointment. "Do you really approve of Sirius' behavior?"
Tonks tilted her head to the side, invisible gears working hard in her brain as she thought of what exactly her answer to that question should be. She longed for something clever to spill out of her mouth. "What's wrong with being interested in a younger woman, Remus?" She went with the obvious, but refused to let her embarrassment show.
Bringing his glass up to his mouth, Sirius cleared his throat. "Don't answer that Moony," he whispered, with glass between his lips.
Remus blinked, propped his elbows on the table, remembered his manners, removed his elbows, and blinked again. "They're not just young woman; they're students. There is indeed something very wrong with the whole situation."
A napkin flew from Tonks' hand down on her plate, and she was up in one, almost, elegant movement. "There is nothing wrong with it, Remus," Tonks shouted for the whole room to hear, before apparating the hell out of there.
"What's her problem?"
"I don't know. What kind of flowers should I get for Ginny and Hermione?"
Remus was staring ahead at the spot that Tonks just occupied, only half listening to other voices. "What?" he asked, before it dawned. "WHAT!? Sirius how are you going to obtain flowers?"
"Buy them." Remus brought his face directly up to Sirius'. "I mean, steal them from next door." Remus squinted his eyes and raised his left eyebrow. "I mean make Mundungus steal them from next door," Sirius mumbled, backing up from Remus's squinty face.
Remus shook his head and forked a carrot. "I probably should apologize to Tonks…for upsetting her?"
Shrugging, Sirius motioned for Mundungus to come over to him.
Remus resigned. He looked down at the end of the table. His eyes rested on Hermione. She was sitting in between two, now, empty chairs, swirling a mix of potatoes and half eaten meat around her dish; her head rested on her elbow, and a look of disappointment and frustration pasted on her face.
"I would give Hermione gardenias," Remus said, dragging his gaze from her. "But you should give her a Begonia; they mean beware."
"Funny."
&&
The creaking of long silent mattress springs was the only sound Sirius ever wanted to hear again. He pulled his shirt off, and sank into his bed. Eyes all ready half closed, and longing for the sweet relief of sleep.
First he had to sit through the scolding ramblings of Remus, and then he had to sit through the smug ramblings of Severus Snape at the impromptu meeting that was called directly after dinner.
And the only thing he learned is that Snape has the largest and ugliest pimple-mole-skin clump on the side of his neck; the sight causing Sirius to almost regurgitate his dinner.
Sirius relaxed his body and buried his face into the bottom of his pillow.
His mind started to drift off, when another sound besides Buckbeak's heavy breathing hit his ears.
"Ginny! Why are you making me do this?"
"Shh! You wanted to come; I didn't make you do anything."
"Well, someone had to -CREAK- oh no!"
Sirius shifted so that his ears weren't covered by his pillow. Suddenly curiosity had taken the place of exhaustion. He could hear the soft padding once again start up. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or yell at them. But then he remembered that he's Sirius Black, not Remus Lupin.
-CREAK-
"Watch where you step, with those giant feet."
"Excuse me," Hermione huffed, forgetting to whisper. Sirius pretended to grunt in his sleep, causing both girls to squeak and, by the sound, leap towards the dark corner.
"Buckbeak isn't over here, is he?"
"Yes, he is. That settles it then; let's turn back."
As if to say 'I'm waaayyy over here', Buckbeak snapped his claws. Sirius tried not to laugh.
"Nice try."
The two pairs of footsteps grew louder, as they stalked closer and closer to Sirius, who was biting his lower lip, making his eyes stay shut, and wishing that he knew what he sounded like when he was asleep.
"Explain to me why we're –CREAK- in here."
"I just want to see…" Ginny's voice trailed off.
"See what?" Hermione hissed and Sirius thought.
Then a light shined in Sirius's mind. A young, obviously hormonal, girl is sneaking into his bedroom late at night to see something; what could that be, besides….Yikes.
"Ginny!"
"What?" Ginny asked in a giggly whisper.
"You can't…peak at him! It's, it's just not right, at all!"
Panicking, Sirius could only think of pretending to have some kind of horror filled night terror that would wake him up screaming, and sending the girls in a run from his room. He was just about to start moaning about Dementors, when someone knocked loudly on his door.
"Wha?" Sirius shouted, pretending to spring out of a deep sleep.
"Move!"
"Sirius," said the nervous voice of Ron. "Sirius, are you sleeping?"
"Not anymore, Ron," Sirius said, making his voice sound rather annoyed, when in reality he was completely relieved. "Come in."
Ron gingerly walked across the room and sat on Sirius' bed, inches away from the crouched and huddled bodies of his sister and best friend.
"Is something wrong?" Sirius asked, sitting up.
"I just…I just wanted to tell you….that….um…I wanted to tell you that I-"
"Sirius?"
Ron stopped talking immediately and snapped off of Sirius' bed. Sirius could hear him swallowing loudly and rubbing his palms together. Peering through the relative darkness, Sirius just made out the form of his cousin moving closer to his bed.
"Sirius," Tonks said, and then her eyes fell on the nervous looking Ron. She cocked an eyebrow at Sirius, and made a motion like she was going to walk away slowly.
"Welcome to the party," Sirius said, forgetting the no one but he knew about the peeping toms in the corner. "I mean, sit; what's troubling you?"
Tonks and Ron shared a long look. "Well, I just, I just wanted to tell you, um…"
"Someone better tell me something now, before I ignore the lot of you and go back to sleep."
Tonks and Ron looked at each other again. Tonks smiled and Ron nodded and Sirius had no idea what was going on.
"I just wanted to know, actually, if Remus has ever had any sort of non platonic feelings towards people like me; you know, woman?" Tonks asked.
Sirius laughed; curled into his lap and vibrating. "Of course he does, Tonks! In fact I think he might have a thing for Herm…you." Sirius quickly looked at Ron, praying that he didn't hear the almost slip. Luckily, Ron was beaming at Tonks and didn't seem to notice.
"Hmm," was all Tonks said. Sirius was thankful that Tonks spared him from the insane giddy ramblings that he assumed was going on in her head at the moment.
"He can't fancy her!"
"What was that?" Tonks and Ron said together.
There was a high pitched squeak and Sirius' heart started beating triple time. "Buckbeak," Sirius stated, before another knock came from his door.
"Sirius, can I come in?"
Sirius rolled his eyes and fell back against his pillows. "Yes," he shouted.
In one second, Tonks slid herself under Sirius' bed, coughing slightly with the inhale of fresh dust. Ron took on a fake cough to mask hers.
"Ron, is everything all right?" Remus asked, with a curious look at Ron, who nodded in between his coughing theatrics.
"Sit, Remus. Talk; but you better actually say something."
Remus sat down slowly. The mattress creaked under the new weight, also emitting a strange high pitched gasping sound. "Sirius, I tried to talk to Tonks, and she ignored me. I think she might…fancy me, and I need you to help me, politely, tell her that I'm not-"
"Ready for a surprise birthday party! Ron, lights! Tonks you were supposed to pop out from under the bed."
"It's not my birthday," Remus said, confused and suddenly startled by Tonks, who rose from under the bed sending Sirius a murderous look.
"Of course it isn't," Sirius exclaimed, refusing to look at Tonks. "Well, then I bid you all a good night!" Sirius curled under his blanked and clasped his eyes shut.
Ron laughed because he didn't know what else to do, and left; followed by a stomping, embarrassed Tonks. Remus stared at the curled up, pretending to be asleep Sirius for a while, before he to left the room.
"Come on, Hermione," Ginny whispered, with disappointment. "He's wearing pants."
