Letting It Out

Juliette walked into the bathroom. She locked the door behind her and turned on the fan. She had tears in her eyes as she bent over the toilet.


Daisy and the rest of the group chatted as they walked to class. Only Annie wasn't social.

Daisy went to slap Ezra at an inappropriate joke he had told them. They laughed as she ran after him.

"Get back here, you wimp!"

"Me a wimp, nah!" Ezra smiled, playfully. Annie watched, wondering when the last time she had been happy was and wishing she could be happy again.


Juliette played with her lunch, not very hungry, and she just didn't want to mess up her body even more by getting big. She took a small bite so no one would bug her about eating.

Sighing she glanced around the table. Almost everyone was eating and chatting. Annie was the only one besides her self. Jules wondered why Annie didn't eat. Annie had told everyone that she didn't think she was fat, but maybe she said that to get everyone off her back. Even though everyone asked her why she didn't eat if it wasn't that.

She turned to Auggie, just admiring him. She was happy to have someone love her and not think she was stupid for being bulimic or for cutting her self. She was also happy to have friends like Daisy and Shelby, even if they got on her nerves sometimes.


"Jules, you have a phone call, honey," Sophie announced as she walked into the dorm.

"Ok, hold on." She finished her sentence and went to the office.

"Hello?" She said into the phone.

"Hi, Mom. How's it going?" She asked and waited for an answer.

"Oh, so have you . . . have you found out what it is yet?'

'Yeah, I'm overwhelmed with joy Mom. I'm happy for you." She put on a fake smile, even though her mom couldn't see it.

"Okay Mom. Bye." She hung the phone up. A tear escaped her eye.

"I'm going to have a baby brother," she whispered, "A perfect baby brother." More tears escaped her.


Shelby glanced up as Juliette came back in.

"Who was it?" She asked, not noticing the look on her face.

"Something wrong?" Annie asked. The other two then noticed something was up.

"What is it, Jules?" Questioned Daisy, as she walked up to her.

"It's a boy," She mumbled, head down.

"What? A boy?" Shelby came up to her as well. Annie stayed back, not sure of what she should do.

"Yes, she's . . . she's having a perfect baby boy!" Juliette yelled and ran from the dorm.

"Jules wait!" Daisy went after her. Shelby grabbed her coat and started to go to.

"Is she going to be okay?" Shelby turned to Annie.

"Stop acting like you care and shut up." She left.


The Cliffhangers sat on the green grass together. Auggie was cuddling sorrowful Juliette and Annie sat at least two meters from all of them.

Peter and Sophie strolled over for group session. Before sitting, Peter squeezed Jules' shoulder in comfort. She weakly smiled at him.

"Everybody good this evening?" He asked. No one nodded: all concerned for Juliette. He looked in Annie's direction. She fiddled with her hands nervously, wearing a blank expression and staring at the ground infront of her.

"Why don't you come closer? You'll hear me better." He suggested to her. She looked at him without moving her head.

"A few feet will do. Come on closer." Annie got up, moving closer, but over to the side. Still a ways away from the group.

"Would you like to move closer?" He asked. She didn't answer or move.

"You don't have to, just making sure." He then turned his attention to the rest of the group.

"Tell me the name of the song you have picked, who sings it, and why you chose it. Auggie you first."

"I picked 'Baby its You' by Aaron Carter and I chose it because it explains my relationship with Jules." He hugs her closely.

"You all didn't pick a song on your relationships, did you? If you all did, then you'll all have to pick another song. It's supposed to be about you."

"You said something that relates to us," Ezra reminded.

"Yes, maybe I did, but I don't want all of you singing about relationships."

"I didn't," Daisy said.

"Okay, I'll decide if you guys need to change your songs when I everyone has told me what they have picked. Auggie I need a copy of you lyrics." Auggie handed him a piece paper.

"Juliette, what's your song?" Peter asked gently. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

"Let me see your lyrics." He took it opening it.

"'Shadow' by Ashlee Simpson. You can tell me why later.'

'Shelby, your turn."

"'Everything' by Alanis Morisette and I chose it because everyone I told my past has stuck around."

"I chose 'Reason' by Hoobastank because I've found a reason to live; Shelby," Scott answered.

"Daisy, your up."

"I chose 'More to Life' by Stacie Orrico because my life is a constant question of what life has in store for me."

"'Somehow Someday' by Nickelback because life is going to fine one of these days," Said Ezra.

"Annie, what you pick?" Peter asked. She didn't say anything. Instead, she stood up and strolled to him, handing him a folded paper. She went back and sat.

"I would like you to state what you picked Annie. I'm not going to say it for you."

"'Stand' by Jewel."

"And why?"

"Cause life is never what it seems," Annie whispered. Peter nodded.

"I'm going to let you all have a break, so you can go off to your dorms."


The two girls sat with Juliette, hugging her. Annie glanced at them once in a while, wishing she could help, but knowing no one wanted it and that she didn't belong with them. She wished that she had a good enough friend to hug when she felt down.

"Sorry, Jules, but I promised, well not really promised, but any way, I have to help Sophie with some stuff. Will you be all right?" Daisy asked. She nodded. Daisy gave her a bear hug before leaving.

"I'm going to go talk with Auggie, Shelby. Thanks for being here for me."

"It's all right. Hope you feel better." Shelby strolled over to Annie, who is writing in a notebook.

"Dairy?" She asked.

"No, I like to write."

"Oh, Ezra likes to write too. Can I see it?"

"No," Annie defensively said.

"Okay, don't have to be so pushy," she started for the door, " 'life is never what it seems', ha."

Annie looked up at the last statement, clearly hurt. She searched around the room. She really needed something to relive her pain. She gazed at the notebook paper and slides it on one of her fingers. Paper cuts hurt more than any other cut, but Annie didn't care at the moment.

She did one more, so it didn't look suspicious. She didn't want paper to be taken from her or to be examined every time she had paper in her hand.

She entered the bathroom and turned on the faucet, holding her fingers under it, letting the blood flow. Her second cut bleed very freely. She must have cut that one deep. She withdrew her fingers and dried them. That one cut still bleed while the other one had at least began to heal its self. Annie squeezed near the cut, to stop the blood flow. She let go. It bleeds for a few and then stops, forming a clot.

Satisfied, Annie went to stroll about the grounds.

She felt alone and she didn't want to feel alone. Even if she was with someone, Annie felt alone.

She really wanted someone beside her. She only knew two people who would talk with her openly. Three counting Scott, but Shelby always snapped at her when she talked to him, so anyone around her age was out of the question.

She went to Peter's office, but he wasn't there. Annie didn't know where or if Sophie had an office. She didn't want to talk with her any way.

As she walked around, she saw some teenagers. One girl gave her an evil glare, two boys looked at her in disgust, and a few called her names.

Annie looked down in shame, knowing she didn't have the right to live. She found a bench where no one was near, and sat. She held her knees to her chest, resting her head on them. She heard voices behind her, but blocked them out, thinking they were taunting her.

People walked past her: Juliette and Peter. I thought she was going to talk with Auggie.

Peter looked past Juliette and saw the look of despair on Annie's face. He quickly turned to Jules, giving her his full attention at a time like this. He'd get to Annie later; she most likely wouldn't talk, though.


"Soph," Peter called.

"What?" She glanced up.

"Can you see to Annie? She's on one of the benches around the grounds."

"Sure."

"Actually Peter, I want to talk with Sophie, can you talk with Annie instead?" Juliette asked.

"Okay, Jules." Sophie put her arm around Juliette and they walked off.


Annie laid on most of the bench. Her legs bent, feet planted on it. Her head and arms over the edge with her eyes shut.

Peter sat next to her.

"Hello, Annie." She sat up, and moved slightly away from him, hugging her knees again.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing," She said in a low voice.

"In about two weeks your family will be able to come visit you," He told her, "How do you feel about that?"

She shrugged and added, "I don't really want to see them."

"Not any of them? You don't even miss them at all?"

"Not really. Maybe my baby sister, but I don't want to see my sister or dad."

"What about your step mother?"

"I don't want to see her either," Annie said.

"What if your mom came out here? Would you want to see her?"

"No." Came the quick reply. Peter stopped for a moment, letting her think about what she just said.

"Do you want to go home?" He questioned.

"No."

"Do you want to stay here?"

"It's better than home," She answered with a shrug. Then slowly said, "No one talks to me here. Not that any one at home did much either."

"No one talked at you at home? No friends?"

"Not really, most of them didn't bother with me. My dad only talked sometimes, my sister only teased me, and my step mom only talked to me if I had chores or something. My baby sister did sometimes, but mostly because she wanted someone to play with." Annie rubbed her eye, still not looking at Peter. He saw one of the cuts.

"Have you cut yourself lately?" He asked.

"No."

"Where'd the blood on your finger come from?"

"Paper cut," She answered, "Shelby made me mad and I threw some paper I was writing on. It cut me."

"What Shelby do to make you mad?"

"Mock me."

"That's Shelby for you. Try not to let her get to you. That's her way of releasing her emotions," He explained.

"Sounds like my sister. Everyone told me not to mind her and look where it got me."

"You're blaming this on your sister?"

"No . . . not all of it."

"What are you blaming the rest of it on?" Annie knew some of the things, but she didn't want to talk any more, so shrugged once again.

"Think about it," Peter said and got up to leave. He didn't tell her that he was glad that she had talked, he didn't want to upset her. He heard Annie move suddenly.

"Wait," Annie quietly cried. Peter wasn't sure if he was supposed to hear it, but turned around. Her eyes were glossy with tears wanting to come out.

"I don't want to be alone."

"Your not alone. You have me, Sophie, Juliette, and Scott to talk to."

"No," Annie shook her head, whining, "I don't want to talk. Scott won't talk to me any more and Juliette is busy with her problems, I don't want to bug her. No one else will stay, they don't like me." Peter understood what she wanted and walked to her, giving her a hug. Annie let the tears in her eyes go free.

"I'm sure everyone likes you. Just give them time," Peter assured her.


"At least Annie is starting to talk to us," Sophie said.

"Yeah, but I have to call Juliette's mom about her again," Peter sighed, "The toughest part is calling the parents."

"Yep." Sophie smiled and gave him a good luck kiss.