Chapter 12

"Oh please save me, save me from myself.

I can't be the only one stuck on the shelf.

You said you'd always fall for the underdog."

From Underdog (save me) by Turin Brakes

-

'What are you up to, Reb?' Yuna asked him suspiciously. He was sitting in front of her and the crew, smiling to himself. 'Come on, I know that stupid grin of yours. It means, "I am planning something and I don't need any help, so I won't say anything about it until it's too late for anyone to doanything."

Reb's grin widened. 'There's enough room for that on my lips? Well damn, Yuna, your intuition has tiny handwriting!'

'I'm serious, Reb! What have you done?' She was frightened; Reb didn't usually keep things from her for this long, and this looked like something pretty big, something that would affect all of them.

Reb sighed. 'Look, Yuna, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by saying that there's nothing going on, but I can promise that you won't be hurt by it. In fact, it'll make your dreams come true. Think of it as a gift. And right now it's all wrapped up so you can't see what it is yet. But you will find out... soon enough.'

'Damn it, Reb, what have you done?' Bren barked angrily, standing up. 'Tell me or I swear to God I'll...'

'You'll what?' Reb sneered, standing up as well and rising to the challenge.

Bren laughed with vindictive pleasure. 'Let's just say it won't be very comfortable for you.'

'Bren don't! Reb… stop being so defensive! Why can't we just stop this? I wish we'd never left the Deepwater! I want to go home!' Lise was close to tears, yet it struck Reb how pathetic it was that that hunk of metal was all they had to call their home. True, it was the only place they'd ever known, but it was still kind of depressing. But I know someone who knows how to call a ship home, and pretty soon he'll be ours. One down, one to go.

-

Beka's fingers twitched and she reached for the bottle of beer. She knew it wasn't what she really wanted, but she'd put a gun to her head before she touched Flash again. The blonde Captain took a swig, set the bottle down again and stared into space. Funny thing was, on the Maru, you really could stare into space. She thought about all that had happened in the last few days and sighed heavily. It was really too much. What if there was a Beka Valentine in another universe? What if there were a million Beka Valentines out there? It was too frightening, it was horrible. All this time she had thought she was an individual, and now she knew that this wasn't true. That turned her heart cold.

'Hey boss,' a voiced said from behind her, sounding as subdued as she felt. But it was familiar, a comfort in a cold world. She turned round and smiled gratefully at Harper, then frowned when she saw his melancholy expression. He was also drinking beer, and his eyes were red-rimmed like he'd been crying.

'Harper? What's wrong?' she stood up, reached over and took him by the shoulders. He wouldn't meet her eyes. 'Spit it out, Shorty. Harper?' her voice broke. 'Divine damn it, Harper, what's up?'

He was breathing heavily like his nose was stuffed up, and his nails were chewed right down. 'I… I've been thinking…' he began, and then stopped.

'Harper?'

He suddenly gasped, his breath hitching in his throat, and his eyes had a faraway glint like he was imagining something, filled with horror like he didn't like what he saw. Then he let out a sob, harsh, high-pitched, like he hadn't done it in a long time. Tears didn't just trickle, but poured down his cheeks and his nose started to run like a little kid. Another sob, then another, and he collapsed to the deck, grinding a fist into his eye socket 'Aaahhhhhh!' he moaned, like he was in agony. 'Not… f-f-f-fair. D-d-d-don't…'

'Seamus! If you don't tell me what's wrong I'll beat you to a pulp and drag it out of you!' she yelled, regretting her harsh words at once, knowing that she had only said them out of fright, but also knowing that he wouldn't have seen it this way. He dragged himself back up, stammering wild excuses, and staggered out of the room. Beka yelled after him, but didn't follow. She had no idea what had just happened, but she had a feeling Harper wanted to be alone.

-

The man with dark-blonde turned a corner that took him back onto the Andromeda leaned back against the wall gasping. For a few moments all that could be heard was the sound of his rough, pitiful breathing. Then the person standing next to him, his double, said quietly.

'Well done, Seamus. I couldn't have handled it better myself. Although you didn't get her to say it. Why not?'

'I didn't want to hear it,' Harper spat bitterly. 'It was bad enough when Dylan said it, but if Beka had… it would have destroyed me.' And it would. It would be like a six year-old child pressing his ear up against a door to a place where he was not allowed to go, and hearing his own mother saying: "I don't want him. Take him away. My son does not matter to me, he was a mistake." It would be betrayal, although she wouldn't mean it that way. And he no longer doubted that Reb would have been able to make her say it.

'So does this mean…?' Reb left the sentence hanging.

Harper screwed up his face in anger and hatred. 'I'll come with you. I'll do it.' And then he walked off. Reb didn't try to follow him; he knew he could only serve to make things worse. Let Seamus Harper make his peace with the Andromeda, then Captain Anderson would come for him. He'd managed to fix the majority of the damage to the Deepwater, enough to make it operable. And now he knew how to ride the portals between worlds. With the power of slipstream at his hands, he and the rest of the crew would be able to save the world.

-

Reb walked down a corridor of the Andromeda past Hydroponics. Suddenly, a golden arm appeared from nowhere and dragged him through a hatch. He went for his weapon, but then his face softened. 'Oh. Hi Aur… Trance.' He shuffled his feet, unable to meet her fierce gaze.

She waved his bashfulness away to one side. 'Reb, I have to talk to you. This… thing. You and Harper… it's not right.'

His hand twitched with an erratic skip of his pulse.

'How do you mean?' Careful, cautious, testing her.

She sighed angrily, dashed a hand through her thick red dreadlocks. 'Look I'm going to ask you something. A… a riddle.'

He shrugged indifferently. 'Hit me,' he replied casually. Trance growled in frustration at his off-hand response and grabbed his arm again, forcing him to sit down. Then she took his chin in her hand and forced him to look her in the eyes.

'Consider this: A missile, which always hits its target and destroys it completely, hits an indestructible fort. What is the consequence of this collision?'

Reb did not think for long. 'The missile blows the fort to kingdom come,' he said briskly. 'Is there a point to this?'

Trance shook her head sadly. 'I thought you'd say that. But you're wrong. How could this happen? I just told you that the fort is indestructible.'

This was harder than he had thought at first. Though he struggled, Reb could not think of a way that he could answer the question. 'I give up,' he admitted at last, the words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. Another defeat.

Trance smiled sadly. 'Can't you see? I tricked you. This event could never occur because the two things are contradictory concepts. There is either an indestructible fort or there is a missile that destroys everything.

They could not both possibly exist.'

Reb stood up angrily. 'You tricked me!' he echoed furiously. 'That wasn't fair! Besides, what the hell has this got to do with me?' He knew.

'You and Harper are like the missile and the fort. You should not both be in the same universe, it's not – ' she searched for the right word. 'Right,' she finished weakly. 'Please, you and your crew have to leave. At once. Don't carry on with this idiotic plan of taking Harper back with you.'

'How did you know about that?' he snapped.

She touched the delicate whorl of her ear with the tip of a golden finger. 'Most people's idea of within earshot and mine are two different things. I hear more than people say. But really, I saw your plan in your eyes. Luckily for me, you wear your heart on your sleeve, Reb Anderson, and in some places it's stained black.'

-

Which is why he was called Bluebeard, the end. Oh wait, that's another story...

Thankee kindly, oh lovely reviewers!

Fwe - Thanks for taking the time to review, surviving fire and ice and the Divine only knows what else! For def. include Bekain your fic; she's my second-favourite character!

Darkness Amber - Guessing is so much fun! Sorry you didn't get your 'I don't need Harper' bit... yet! Mwahahahahahaaaa!

Feel free to review, people!