Dragonlance Chronicles in a Nutshell
Dragons of a Winter Night Part III
Companions, or at least half of them; Tanis, Raistlin, and their team: (staring at their last copper)
Tanis: Let's spend it on food.
Caramon: Ale!!!
Riverwind: Cloaks!
Goldmoon: More fur! The moths are horrible this year! They've eaten through most of my under layer of clothes!
All the men in hearing range with the exception of Raistlin who sees a pile of bones: lol
Raistlin: I have a great idea! (Picks up coin) Let's start our own show!!!
Companions: YAAAAHH!
So, the Companions started a show called "Raistlin's Bunnies," in which Raistlin pulled bunnies from a black hat, Tika did strip dancing, Goldmoon sang rap songs, Tanis gave advice on relationship problems, Riverwind beat the crap out of anyone who tried to touch Goldmoon, while Caramon stood and was as dumb as usual. Later, they renamed the show "The Red Wizard and his Wonderful Illusions" or some such, 'cause "Raistlin's Bunnies" just wasn't selling. They were a great hit and lived richly ever after. HAH! Tricked you again didn't I?! They made lotsa money and decided to go to Flotsam to start their world tour.
Raistlin: I have the dragonorb of Istar. I am powerful. I SHALL TAKE OVER WAL-MART AND RULE THE WORLD FOREVER!
Everyone sweatdrops.--;
In Flotsam, which, by the way, looks like flotsam (trash)…
Tanis: Caramon and I will go out as scouts. Kay?
Everyone looks at Tanis with the look a loyal puppy gives their owner except Raistlin: Kay!
They book a ship with Marquesta Kar-Thon. (Caramon: 'wolf whistle') They are then separated and Tanis was attacked by a fanatic elf.
Fanatic Elf: You're the one the Tanis Half-Elven fan club is based on. Oh! The insanity, the horror! Half my family is in the mental institute because of that club!
Kitiara appears and hits him with her sword.
Kitiara: Hey Tanis! (Lean in amorously) Long time no see. (Drags him to her inn room) Boots?
Tanis: (grinning like an idiot) Sure.
Neither was ever heard from again, though there were always strange moaning noises coming from the third room on the second floor of the Saltbreeze Inn.
Meanwhile, Tasslehoff was with Fizban, who miraculously resurrected himself like Ashram from Record of Lodoss War in both the Legend of Chrysania and the Chronicles of the Heroic Knight. Together, they formed the Insanity Duet. They would drive one crazy with their incessant chatter, and then the kender would rob them! (Tasslehoff: Wow! It must have fallen into my pouch!) The two stole the dragonorb under the cover of darkness from the mountain of doom, Mt. Nevermind. (Dadadadum 'play horror music') Then, they took it to the council of Whitestone or something.
Lord Gunther: We are gathered here today to discuss how to get rid of both Sauron, er, Takhisis and the fate of the ring of power, I mean, dragonorb of either Wayreth.
Elves: Give it here! We will hoard it and let it sit and gather dust.
Humans: Use it!
Gnome: Wemusttakeittotheexaminationroomofmtnevermindand…
Big arguments insued and questionable language was used.
Tasslehoff: Ooooo! This holder is really cool! (Takes the holder the dragonorb was on)
The dragonorb smashes to bits.
Everyone: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Laurana, Theros, and Flint come out of nowhere with the dragonlances.
Everyone: We're saved!!! (Bow down and worships them as gods)
Fizban: Hey! That's not fair! They're not worshipping me! (Sulks)
In the High Clerist Tower…
Laurana: Tanis is cheating on me. I can feel it!
Flint: How do you know?
Laurana: I keep having nightmares about him with this black haired chick! I'm ten times sexier than she is! (Screams)
Tas: Guess what? I found the Dragonorb of Palanthas in the tower!
Derek: We're under attack! Charge! (Leads a bunch of men out into battle and are crushed)
Sturm: Yes! Now I'm in charge! Now, I've got to fix the coloring of the tower! It's so drab. I'll paint it pink, or purple's a good color.
Kitiara has torn herself away from Tanis's groping hands: Prepare to be roasted on a pig stick, knight!
They face down and Sturm is killed. YYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
Laurana: (gains control over the dragonorb) Alright. First, make Tanis love me and me alone. MWWHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Tas: Aren't you forgetting something?
Laurana: Oh yeah. Call the dragons here. (the knights kill the dragons except Skie or Khellendros, or whatever his name is.
Kitiara: So, you're the upstart who's trying to win Tanis's heart from me.
Laurana: He was mine to start out with!
Kitiara: #$&#$!!!
Laurana: &$#&#!!!
Kitiara: We'll finish this later! (flies away in a huff)
Flint: What about Sturm?
Laurana: Throw the fool in a ditch.
To Be Continued…
Notes: I'm only hypothesizing that the dragonorb is of Wayreth. The Towers of High Sorcery in Daltigoth and Losarcum were destroyed during the Lost Battles during the reign of Beldinas, the last Kingpriest of Istar, so I imagine their orbs were destroyed with them. It was never said in the book. I suddenly remembered that the dragon that killed Ember was called Matafleur. You can really tell I hate Sturm. (Squishes the Voodoo doll I made of him and sticks it with pins)I did more paragraphs in this chapter than usual. There was less dialogue. Please tell me what I can do to improve! Arigato!
