Born to be Broken
Disclaimer: I'm flattered if you think I'm smart enough to come up with something like Fruits Basket but I'm afraid that due to legal reasons I shall have to burst your bubble and tell you that I sadly, do not own it. Le sigh. I do however own this little fanfic! ... Not much of a consolation prize, huh?
Note: Sorry this chapter took so long! I promise that the next one will be up sooner than this one was. Hmm... things really start to kick off in the chapter after this one but you gotta have the stuff that's in between right?
Now to thank my reviewers:
Demeter1: It's always nice to come across another person who appreciates Akito as much as I do! This chapter is my least favorite one to date, partly because I don't like the way I wrote it and also because of the way the character's turned out; especially Akito. The next couple of chapters are the ones I've been working up to and I'm aiming to work as much Akito into them as possible, whilst remaining true to his character. I'm not sure I did that in this chapter, but I'll leave that up to you to decide. Yes I'm doing some weird things with the relationships right now, huh? Though Akito is (Spoiler-) going to end up involved with an OC, I wanted to make references to the relationships that many fanfiction writers see him possibly having with both Kureno and Shigure. I would have added Hatori too but I still think that Hatori is straight. It is kind of feasible that Akito could have feelings for Shigure, so I'll work with that to the best of my ability! You mentioned that Kureno is concerned that the 'secret' could affect Akito in a negative way. Though you see his reaction to the 'secret' in this chapter, you won't get to hear his reasoning until the next one. Sorry! But you're spot on. You are figuring it out well but there is plenty I have yet to reveal but so far I must compliment you on a job well done! (Claps) As for the 'Bane' well... that'll come to light soon too. But your ideas of what it could be are interesting... Oh and I'm working on those paragraphs, BTW! Hope you enjoy the next chapter, even though I don't particularly like it myself!
Purple Witchy Angel: I'm glad that I'm getting you to like Akito more and more! He needs all the love he can get, poor bugger. Still, you'll probably change your mind with this chapter. I'm not exactly proud of it... uh, but regardless, maybe you won't notice the faults I saw whilst writing it! (Hopeful grin.) Akito will be getting cooler and kewler as the chapters wear on, but in this chapter he's kind of wanky. That's entirely my fault. Just a warning.
Foxgrl991: Yay! A reader from 'The Game we Play' who also enjoys this fic! Whoo-hoo that's a first! Updates a little late and for that I apologize. Good to know that you're enjoying it and hopefully my laziness and tardy updates won't put you off reading and reviewing! (She says ever so desperately) Well let's just face it; I'm desperate for positive feedback, I won't deny it!
Rogue3: (Laughs evilly) Sorry about the cliffhangers, love! I hate them myself and it drives me nuts when I read a fic that ends in a cliffhanger. To be honest, I never originally set out to conclude my chapters that way, it just sort of happened in the story plan and worked as a great outset for the following addition. I know it's aggravating and I promise I'll try and update my frequently to ease your stress but I'm a very busy high-school girl with several very scary assignments hanging over my shoulders, so times a little scarse... But NaPap never gives up! ... Okay kill me now. I've turned into Tohru. Next chapter Ayame and Yuki will in fact be having some slight bonding, but not as much as you might have been hoping for. I could probably squeeze some more in but it would cut down on Shigure/Aya lemon time... is that a sacrifice you are willing to make? Hmm... and as for the price that will be paid in order to end the curse... yes indeedly do, it does have something to do with Ayame and Akito. Centrally. But other characters play important roles too. But you'll have to keep reading to find out! (Another evil cackle)
Chickenslave: Almighty chicken slave with power, I thank you for your review which helped me to reach my goal of forty. (Bows to the chicken slave) The Lucky deal will not be revealed until a few more chapters so try and keep it Mom, okay? You're the only one out of anyone who reads this (besides me) that knows what's going on. Don't leak it! Okay? Okay?! Good. Hope you weren't holding your breath for the next chapter because you'd be dead by now, love!
LuceScuro: Your favorite character is Kureno, ay? Good taste, my dear. Not only did you appreciate Ayame for having an actual personality and for having a relationship with Shigure, but you also appreciate Ku-ku-chan! On that note I must ask, do you like the way that I am presenting him? Since I haven't read the manga, I'm not certain of Kureno's personality and since you are a Ku-Ku fan, I was wondering if he seems feasible to you? One things for sure, he's certainly more than just a humble little chicken slave in this fic! He's a chicken slave with power! (Raises fist in the air) And he's going to get cooler and cooler in the upcoming chapters. I'm talking full out fighting style coolness. Oops... slipping info again... N E way, I'm glad you're enjoying it and I hope that I'm doing Kureno right by you! Oh yeah and the song was the FB theme song. That was me just trying to give the song relation to the events and characters. I thought it made sense used in the context I placed it. But that might be just me! (Sweatdrops)
Well that's the thanking done! Now, onto the fic!
- - - - - - - - - - - - AL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Some stories disappear into the breeze, like the falling of cherry blossoms in the starch clutch of Autumn. Such as is the story of the Sohma family master's, wherein the details of their lives remain taped behind the time of their death. In all walks of life, there are many things that children should never come to know of their parents. There are the secrets, the lies... the truths. ...Ah yes... the truth; far more dangerous than the lie for the truth is what causes the most harm when we come to realize that perhaps our parents are not who we are led to believe they are. That the colidiscope of colors and shapes that we have come to see them within, is only part of the twisted illusion we force ourselves to believe.
Akito... you know as well as I do, that the past of the Sohma clan has always preferred to remain solely in the past's possession. The memories of those who came before us and who have left our world for the next. But... since you ask me for answers, despite the veil that seeks to conceal it, I shall tell you the story of your mother.
Her name was Tamiko Sohma, the twentieth master of the Sohma clan, daughter of Calido and Kaie Sohma. I was seven years old, merely a child of comprehensible stamina when I first met her acquaintance. I remember the evening clearly and yet I have no memory of the day's preceding it. The air was crisp, pale... like the touch of new sheets before they have been washed for the first time. It seemed as though I would be able to reach my hand within the threads of the breeze and crush the day between my fingers; receiving in turn the sound of crinkling tissue paper. The season was Autumn and the days were growing darker. Children of the Sohma family feared to venture too deep into the evening, less the horror stories their parent's told them came true in the unforgiving darkness. Yet I found myself being led from my safe protected home, into the mysterious evening, steered toward the Main House and the new arrival awaiting within.
Tamiko was twenty-five years old when she became pregnant with you Akito. She and your father Ken'shin had been trying hard for years to conceive a child, lest Tamiko's life end before the line was guaranteed to be succeeded by the next appropriate suitor. Many complication's had arisen before they had been blessed with their first child and for a time it was thought that perhaps neither individual was fertile. Therefore when the announcement finally came that Tamiko was pregnant; a great celebration was held, lasting an entire day and night. Nine months later I found myself being pushed within the doorway of the Main House and presented before the Master Couple in the room at the top of the staircase. Even now, I still remember the coldness that seemed to coagulate within the stagnant form of Tamiko; her thin frame turned to profile against the circular window. More sickly and pale then I had ever realized, having only ever seen her in passing, usually from the window of the Masters' room. She was beautiful, of that there is no doubt. Her hair as long and black as a Raven's wing captured the sunlight from outside and seemed to send it sliding down past her shoulders like the flowing movement of silk against silk. Her eyes, though usually hidden beneath her long bangs were dark and enticing, her lips a classy shade of blood red that appeared to be painted from the freshest cut throat. But there was nothing hospitable in her disposition, no welcome in her somber eyes. She was a mere shape in the horizon to myself, standing by the door with my tiny, quivering hands clasped together before me, the way one might seek to repel negative energy from entering the body.
Ken'shin however was an entirely different story. Tall, raven haired with a broad personable face that one couldn't help but be drawn to immediately. I mean no offense to your mother, but I must be honest Akito; she was an intimidating woman. Intimidating in such a way that you yourself are. But Ken'shin had this ability to take a room heavy with tension and lift the great weight to reveal the light beneath. I was comfortable in his presence.
My father encouraged me to bow and as I bent my waist to stoop Ken'shin begged us not to express such 'anal formalities.' From Tamiko's expression I could see that she disagreed but voiced not her objection to Ken'shin's command. The Master Couple then presented for our inspection the child that had been born only that morning. No bigger than a loaf of bread and near to the same white color. I must admit, you were a pitiful sight dear Akito. We were told that when you were born it was upside down with the umbilical cord around your neck. You hadn't been breathing. Born dead, they feared and the doctor Minoru set to work reviving you, pumping your too tiny chest until your weak heart was forced to beat. Only then did you start breathing and the choked sobs came forth as though to affirm that you had well and truly come to life. You never really cried much as a baby. That was from no lack of desire however, the simple truth being that you were far too weak to sustain even the heartiest cry for food, warmth, attention. The basic need of the infant was left to the blind intuition of the parent and you, unable to guide them, could but wait until they realized what it was you needed.
The day we met for the first time, you wrapped your tiny hands around my finger- pulling the tip to your mouth and gently sucked on the end. Your eyes didn't even open. You were like a newborn puppy, seeking out the life giving necessities in a world where sight provided no aid. Ken'shin allowed me to hold you and it wasn't until later that I understood why they were all trying so hard to prompt me into establishing a bond with this child I had only ever heard about. Tamiko watched sullenly from beside the window, her eyes glassy in the dying light from outside. I could feel her envy of me, the resentment- anger at never being able to see her child grow up. Twenty-five years old and she was thinner than a railway spike, her skin sallow and sunken between the bone. She knew her time was near. The pregnancy had but hastened the curses affect on her body and soon she would join her forefather's. The Family Elder's no longer cared and their visit's to see her were made very sparingly. She had fulfilled her most important role as Sohma Family master; she had given them an heir and ensured that the bloodline would continue. Her life no longer possessed that safety badge to it, which had kept her safe. And I think she was fully aware of it. Her protection was extinguished in the birth of her son.
Tamiko had named you and I cannot help but think it vaguely appropriate in symbolic jest of her own life coming to a close and the ultimatum that yours, one day, would meet the same bitter end. Turning; constant turning of the seasons. Enfolding. Ensnaring. Eternal withering. Apathy. Falling. The cold and the dark drawing in of the days that now surrounded us. You were to be 'The-child-of-Autumn' for that was when you were born. But... I can't help but think there are different reasons. Autumn is synonymous with the season wherein the leaves, the trees and plants die. Everywhere there is death and the despairing cry of all falling to the ground as it tries to cling to life in it's frightened state. And the futility of it all. The inevitability.
'Meet Akito Sohma.' My father had said of the small helpless bundle in my arms. I regarded the child cautiously. 'He is to be the next family master, following Tamiko. Take kindly to him.'
'Hello Akito.' I remember saying. But I was confused. Within the House of Sohma, there was nothing particularly special about me. Especially being one of the cursed it was surprising that I was even tolerated being around the Master Couple; let alone permitted the honor of holding their first child, heir to the Sohma legacy! My hands were growing clammy as the suspicion within me grew. I was a young child but I was intelligent enough to know that something was going to be asked of me and that I would have to return the request in full. Fealty was the price, I was to learn.
Ken'shin had smiled and there seemed to be nothing of falsity within that warm, open man. As he spoke however I began to sense the very pain outlining each word, though his expression had all too easily attempted to conceal it. He informed me of the deal that my father had made with them; the deal I had only then become aware of. As it turned out my father, whom had worked so hard to care for me after my mother had passed away, my strong dependable father who I looked up to and admired- was giving me away as a possession of the boy within my arms. In my anger and astonishment I could have cast you down upon the floor and beaten my father with my fists until the skin was scraped from the bone. I didn't understand. Until this day I still find it difficult to discern the reasoning, despite the great length of time I have had to accept my duty. He left me there that day, frightened, uncertain; in a family I knew nothing about and a child I was forever bound to. I thought that I was going to be taken into the care of Ken'shin and Tamiko and whilst this was not exactly my cup of tea I thought to make the best of what I had. But... this was also an incorrect assumption. Truth to the matter was that you-Akito, were to be taken into my care and I into the care of the Family Servant's. Whilst you would still be living in the house of your parent's, responsibility fell to me to take care of you in the fundamentals of bathing, dressing, feeding etc. Tamiko herself was often too weak to participate actively in your upbringing, but she did her best in the passing of the years. Ken'shin was more than helpful but his heart remained solely invested in his wife and whenever she remained confined to that room at the top of the stairs, gazing out into the world beyond, more often than not he was there by her side. Providing her with the company that perhaps she did not even desire.
You are like her in so many ways Akito. That affinity for her own personal space and the desire to establish human contact amongst those alone that she see's as being fit. But in spite of all this, in spite of the passing of the years and the long days spent apart from one another, she had much love for you. Often as we would walk in the garden's, you wrapped from head to toe in jumpers and scarves to resist the cold, we would see her standing at the window and hear her beautiful voice float down toward us. I didn't know it then, but Tamiko would always sing the new songs she had written to the two of us before they were sent to the publishers. On one occasion as I led you beneath the window once more, Tamiko dropped something down for you to catch. Such a simple gift to give and so pure white that it became obscured against the wall of the building as it fell. But lo and behold you did catch it. A single white feather, perhaps stray from the tail of a songbird. This was something of a dear and precious token to you, for the servant's among the Sohma family often referred to Tamiko as 'Songbird.' And songbird she was; contained inside the tiniest of cages in which she was unable to spread her wings and was destined to die after having only lived to sing. You held onto that little feather tightly and you called up to her, 'Mommy! Mommy!' But she didn't come to the window.
My chores within the Main House were tedious to the point of being somewhat mundane. But they gave me something to occupy my time, to keep my mind away from the sadness that was Tamiko and her doomed child, Akito. One day, I believe I was- oh – about twelve maybe... I had been handed some fresh sheets and ordered to change all the beds in the Main House. Obligingly I went about my business... until I came to the room at the top of the stairs. The Master's room.
You had taken sick that day Akito and I knew for a fact that your father was tending to you personally at one of the other houses. Minoru's I suppose. The door to the room was slightly ajar and it was common knowledge that Tamiko was fanatical about her privacy. On one quite infamous occasion she had physically beaten a servant girl with her jewelry box for walking in unannounced. I certainly did not want to risk such abrasions on my behalf and therefore took extra care to always knock and then bow when I was permitted entry. The humble servant was usually the one most likely to walk away without their ears boxed in. Yet, my common sense failed to reprimand me that day and I rationalized that the door being ajar may just mean that Tamiko herself was not present in the room, considering how careful she was to keep her door firmly closed at all times. On that pretence I decided to head on in without knocking.
Akito... what I am about to tell you will undoubtedly cause you some amount of distress. But if you want the answers, then I am sorry but this truth cannot be omitted simply to spare you the pain. I have warned you and if you ask me to stop, I shall do so immediately. ...Shall I continue?...
When I entered the room I came across a sight I never would have expected to see. Tamiko stood by the window as always and she was in the embrace of a man I had never seen before. All I can recall is that he was tall and somewhat grungy in appearance, though I suppose it may appear attractive if you go for those rough, bush-basher types. His face had a slight speckling of stubble on it and the clothes he wore were dirty. His hair was the color of fine whisky with salt and pepper dis-coloring throughout it. Both his arms were encircling your mother and she was pressed against him tightly, unperturbed by the small handgun he clasped in the grip of his long square fingers. It became clear to me that she was not threatened by him and that his actions towards her were not menacing in the least. That gun was not intended for Tamiko. It was intended for the poor idiot fool who might stumble across them. Luck be it however that they didn't see me. Not at first. They were talking in muffled undertones, he saying to her that they should go now and she could at last rid herself of the cursed family forever.
'What about Akito?' Said she. 'And Ken'shin? Though I have no love for him as a husband he is a dear and sweet man and he has given his life to this family and me. How can I forget that?'
The other was firm. 'These families' responsibilities have been upended on you in the most unfair of circumstances. You have done your part. You gave them the child that they wanted so badly. Now it's your turn to be happy. Our turn. Don't we deserve that?'
Tamiko moved her head against his shoulder and buried her eyes in his shirt. Sheer dumb luck that I hadn't been seen yet!
'Yes.' She said, sounding selfish and justified all in the one word of affirmation. She gripped the stranger's shoulders tightly. 'I want to go away. I can't stand to remain here any longer... withering away. Knowing not love and life and all things beyond this cursed window and cursed house and cursed damn world I'm trapped within. Without you here I have existed only on death. And it chokes me.'
'Let us be rid of it then.' The man said and at that moment both raised their eyes to see one another and both saw instead, me. Mouth agape at the secret I had uncovered. Tamiko Sohma an infidel! Not only that, but her love affair had been with an outsider, one who was forbidden to ever know the secrets of the Sohma family!
I remember Tamiko just screaming at me, at her lover. 'Catch him!' She was shrieking. 'Stop him, catch him! Don't let him leave! Stop boy! He's seen! He's seen!'
I wondered what madness the curse had thrust upon her, for her words were the raving sores of lunacy and irrationality. Her man lover came for me and in that dreadful moment I could hear the over exaggerated beating of my heart in my chest as he raised the gun in my direction. In that terrible rhythm I sensed the life that would soon cease and there was not enough power in me to do anything but fall and crawl back on my hands, crying and begging all in one rapid sob of fear.
Be it a miracle unto me I'm not sure, but it was that moment that Ken'shin returned with you. I do not recall seeing his face the second he witnessed the situation, but I remember distinctly the grasp of his great hands cupping my arms beneath the pits and tugging me backwards out the door, away from harm. There was an almighty clap of sound, like a car backfiring in an empty street and a burning hot bone seemed to pierce my leg. And then I was screaming, in one long octave that pitched to the awnings of the roof. I could see my own blood, that crimson life force jetting from a gaping hole in my leg, directly below the knee. Later I was told that the bullet had penetrated straight through the skin and muscle but I was convinced that it was still inside me. I clasped my leg, fingers tearing at the pant material and causing more blood to pool around us as I howled. Fear and pain drove me to the brink of delirium, being so young but through that swirling cloud I saw you Akito. You. Standing behind me, tiny body tense and mouth pulled back across your teeth in either a lunatic grin or an expression of indefinable horror.
Ken'shin stepped over me and idiotically barreled into the room, screaming his lungs out at the mystery man, mostly about causing injury to me. That was your father though Akito. His concerns were primarily those around him, never mind his own. The two men engaged in an argument; Ken'shin physically bodying the other man to the floor and wrestling for control of the gun. I was still watching; too spellbound even to register the pain that throbbed as a consistent reminder in the background. Tamiko was watching, her hands clasped against the lower half of her face and eyes swiveling back and forth between Ken'shin and her lover. The outsider, being of stockier build and probably more suited to rough house behavior than your poor refined father, managed to gain the upper hand. They were on their knee's and the urchin hefted his elbow down on Ken'shin's shoulder and wrenched the handgun free. It was at this point Akito that you vaulted me and you stumbled into the room screaming, 'Papa, NO! Papa, NO!' over and over again. The outsider swiveled and belted you upside the ear with the butt of the gun, sending you into an onslaught of wails. Just as quickly as he'd dismissed you, the wretch returned the gun's nozzle your father and... shattered his face completely.
Akito... you were so close to your father that the blood... everything just covered you... Tamiko was screaming, screaming and screaming and you were thrown over your father's body yelling over and over and over, 'Papa, NO! Papa, NO!' The outsider became concerned that others would hear and he was screaming at you to shut up. He started beating you across the room, leaving this great trail of blood behind you. And Tamiko... she screamed something... something I won't ever forget...
'No Ssigh! Stop! He's our son, STOP IT!!'
He hesitated and that gave you enough of a chance to escape. You leapt onto me, yelling at me to get up and help your Papa. I was sobbing and trying to push you away. You were covered in his gore... oh Akito it was awful! I am envious that the memory is lost to you, for I shall never forget those tiny tear filled eyes staring out at me from that mask of blood...
As it were, others had heard your cries and they came to our aid. What ever became of the outsider I don't know... but he fled before the truth about he and Tamiko could ever be revealed. She said that an intruder meaning to rob them had invaded the house and Ken'shin had been killed in the struggle to overpower him. That at least had a ring of truth to it. I was sworn to secrecy by Tamiko and you dear Akito, were both too young and too traumatized by the event to back my story up even if you had wanted to reveal it.
In the weeks following, you fell into the permanent care of Tamiko and my chores remained centered around the Main House, whilst you and your mother relocated to a smaller establishment near the outskirts of the compound. My concern for you was never wavering, but my leg needed time to heal as did you mind and that of the loss and insanity taking its grasp on Tamiko. Despite the physician's statements, claiming that her mentality was lapsing as a result of her long years holding back the curse, (She was 34 at her time of death; the longest life span of a Sohma master ever recorded) they had little influencing power to assert over her decisions and despite my protests, you were allowed to return to her guardianship.
As the weeks rolled into the completion of a month, I found pity in the very sight of her. Her grief was consuming her from within, eating away at her essence. She was a pitiful creature; never knowing love nor happiness of her own accord and forced to die for a family that hated her. Whenever I caught a glance of her, her eyes were red and puffy as though she had just been crying. And this was every time I saw her. She clung to you like a life preserver and sang mournful songs to pass the time. The one that you just sang Akito, was the one she wrote for the lover who never returned for her, after causing so much devastation and scarring her little boy for life. Their little boy, for truth eventually revealed that Ken'shin had been infertile and some deal had been made outside the family for another man to impregnate Tamiko. This resulted in that stinted love affair and by extension, you.
Two short months later, Tamiko committed suicide. I do not know the particular's of her last moment's of life but you were found clinging to her body beneath the window of the Main House. At some point, she had returned there with you and from what we must assume, she hurled herself from the window she had spent so many hours gazing out of, wishing to fly.
But it was not one of the Sohma's that found you holding Tamiko's body. On that day, the day your mother died and you became the sole inheritor of the Sohma family- on that day... the other came."
SCENE CHANGE
A tear rolled down Kureno's cheek and he bit his lip, forcing himself to finish the story. "And from that day, you were Sohma family Master and have been every day thereafter. Your mother left you but not memory, but the legacy of suffering that is your fate as a Sohma."
For a long time Akito was silent. Kureno noticed a thin line of blood trailing down his chin and realized that the younger man had pierced his lip from biting it so hard. He moved to wipe it away but Ritsu, who had remained to hear the story, beat him to it.
"You're bleeding." The other man noted, brushing the crimson fluid away with his thumb. Akito still said nothing and his expression remained neutral. Kureno found the silence more sickening than the reaction that he had been preparing for and expecting. That of yelling, screaming, anger- an extreme emotion of some sort. Anything but this benign silence, this shocked response that was absolutely nothing! The rooster slumped forward, bowing his head between his knee's and pressing his hands together, hair hanging down over his face.
"Do you feel better... now that you know?" He asked lamely. All he really wanted was a reaction of some sort. Anything to split the solid block of uncomfortable silence that had been nailed squarely over their heads like the constricting lid of a coffin. Akito did not give him this remuneration however. His glassy, uncomprehending eyes continued to gaze straight ahead. Mouth slightly agape. Blood oozed from his lips once more and Ritsu was starting to look queasy. He hated blood. The sight of it made him feel nauseous and weak, particularly if it was coming from someone else. This made him think how awful it must have been for Akito being covered in his father's blood at such a young age. And to lose his mother that very same year in such a tragic way! It would certainly explain why he acted the way he did... even if he didn't remember it happening.
At last he spoke. "So..." He paused, swallowed a very large lump in his throat and continued. "... I'm actually only half Sohma." It wasn't a question.
Kureno nodded uselessly.
"I..." Akito took a deep shuddering breath and made a strange hiccuping sound. "- don't... believe you..."
Kureno looked up at him sadly. "Perhaps it would be best if you don't. Better if we pretend this conversation never took place. I didn't want to tell you, but you insisted on digging deeper." He sighed and shook his head. "Hopefully it may just be enough to keep you from looking any further into it-"
"STOP IT!!" Akito roared clasping his face between both balled fists and burying his head into his lap. "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!" It became some horrible mantra, sung to the sickening sway of his body. He rocked and gasped. "You lie! You lie to me! My Mother wasn't like that! She wasn't weak like you, like all of you!!" He looked up at them, eyes mad and rubbed red raw. There were pressure marks from where his fists had dug into his temples. "NOT LIKE ALL OF YOU!! She never would have....! She wasn't some brazen whore that spread her legs to an outsider!! My parent's were both Sohma's!! The curse killed my Mother! All of the elder's told me that the curse killed her. It did! She wouldn't—kill herself... she wouldn't..." His voice became a weakened sob as he slid to the floor, one hand trying to shadow his face and the other scratching against the piano stool. "... not while I was... I was there with... her... She's not weak. She's... not she- can't be..."
Akito dissolved into hysterical tears, burying his face against the stool and scratching it as hard as he could with his nails. Ritsu also had tears in his eyes and he seemed to want to comfort Akito but dared not impose himself where he wasn't wanted. Kureno, having more experience with the Sohma master, reached out to hold him but the younger man thrashed free, battering at the arms that meant to encircle him.
"Leave me alone! Leave me alone!" He roared, anger becoming the dominating emotion in that moment. "You're a horrid, nasty liar Kureno! To say such things about my mother, to make up such stories! You're unsuited to even speak about her!" His face creased into the cruelest sneer Kureno had ever seen directed at him. "You should be grateful she even allowed you to stand upon the same floor as she. Servant boy. Now leave me be!!" With that he stumbled to his feet and fled the room, bouncing off of the doorway as the rush of blood to his head caused him to stagger. Kureno knew that he was already crying again and he stinted on going after him, but knew that would only cause more problems. The sound of Akito's footsteps faded up the hallway before they were snared by distance and were no longer audible to the ears of the rooster and the monkey. Ritsu stared after the family master and bowed his head a little.
"Ah... are you going after him?" He prompted, wiping his thumb against his pant leg. Kureno shook his head.
"No. He need's time to think on this. And despite what he said, his reaction only proves that he believes the authenticity of my words. In which... I wish I had never told him. Poor darling." He said as an afterthought.
There was a momentary silence, in which neither could think of something worthy to break the silence. Ritsu was just considering whether it would appear rude if he were to take his leave, when Kureno spoke up again. His voice was firm and demanding.
"Tell me, Ritsu..." He said as he pushed the stool back in beneath the piano. "What are you doing here? Really?"
The nature of the question shocked Ritsu. He thought he had already told them his reason for coming only moments ago. Nonetheless he bowed at the rooster as he replied.
"I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear!" He apologized. "As I said before, I came to see Ayame on Saturday. That was the only reason. Not to say that I'm not happy to see everyone else too!" He added quickly.
Kureno smiled lightly and nodded. "It's okay, don't get yourself all worked up. I just thought that perhaps there was another reason for your visit today but- if not..." He trailed off and squeezed something distractedly beneath the wall of his shirt. "Anyway... it's getting late. I should get that tea and coffee made. Would you like a cup Ritsu?"
Ritsu smiled and shook his head. "No, don't trouble yourself! I had a long trip down from the resort so I might just go and rest for a while. If there is a room for me to stay that is?"
"The room in which your family usually stays is vacant." Kureno replied. He got to his feet and brushed himself off. "Make yourself at home. If you are in need of anything, please don't hesitate to ask."
"Thankyou very much!" The monkey said shyly, accepting the hand up that Kureno offered him. Uttering a hearty thankyou, he grabbed a hold of his suitcase and made his way towards the room he usually stayed in whilst visiting. Kureno returned to the kitchen, his thoughts entangled.
SCENE CHANGE
His sleep was deep, like he was swimming within a spool of ink. At least, that's how Shigure would have described it. It was the kind of sleep you would have if you were really tired. Dreamless. Or at least there were no dreams that you could remember. It was utter and total obliteration but there was something beautiful in that.
But finally, he awoke. There was sun filtering through the window, streaming yellow light across the pillows and blankets. But it was a dying light; the evening's final surrender, before the sun found its' rest behind the mountains. Shigure stirred; murmured. He found himself, face buried in Ayame's hair and their bodies wound tightly around each other like the gauze over a mummy. The inu sighed and sleepily ran his hands through his lovers' hair, as he was accustomed to doing when he awoke. At the curve of Ayame's crown, there was an uneven bump beneath the hair and as Shigure brushed his fingers over it, a clump of dried blood came away. He gazed at his fingers in shock, staring at the crimson color as though it could not possibly be true.
"Aya..." He whispered.
"You're awake."
Shigure jumped, not realizing that there had been someone else in the room. "Hatori!" He exclaimed.
The doctor nodded stoically. "How do you feel?"
Shigure took a moment to access his current state. "Uh... kind of like I just ran a three day marathon without a break... But I'm okay, I guess." He pulled Ayame against him and cradled his head protectively. "What happened to Aya? Where are we?"
"Back at the Main House." He came toward Shigure and knelt down to examine his eyes. The inu's pupil's dilated accordingly to the light he shined on them and when he moved his finger in and out, he was able to follow it without difficulty. "Look's like you're focusing. You should be fine. But... maybe you could tell me what the Hell happened out there?"
Shigure blinked and raked his brain. "Out... where?"
Hatori fixed his face into what he hoped passed as a puzzled expression. Sometimes he felt he deserved an Oscar for how well he was able to manipulate his victim's into believing whatever lies he fed them. Even Shigure wouldn't doubt it.
"Ah... seems like you have concussion as well." He muttered, packing away his light and removing some swaps and other anti-bacterial liquids to clean Ayame with. "Some of the other Sohma's found the two of you out on the Old Road in Ayame's SUV. It looked like the car had been run off of the road. You two weren't drinking again were you?"
Shigure tried to recall the events prior to his awakening but the memories eluded the searchlight of his conscious thoughts; weaving in and out of the passageways of his brain like a skilled thief in the night. Then it was like he came up against a stone wall with no way of getting around. He could feel that the memories were hovering just behind it, out of reach. It irritated him and he expressed the feeling in a low growl.
"Knowing Aya and I... I wouldn't be surprised." The inu grumbled rubbing his forehead distractedly. "Uh... it's weird... I can remember us leaving the picnic spot and driving down the road but then- it's all a bit of a blank." He suddenly gazed at Hatori in suspicion, eyebrows knitted close together. "You didn't by chance...?"
Hatori gave the most disgusted snort he could manage. Inside, his guts were knotted in guilt and his inside elbows were starting to itch. That always happened whenever he breached his ethics, or even when he came close to breaching them.
"Don't say such stupid things." He snapped, wiping a moist swap over the cuts on the corners of Ayame's lips. "Are you sure you don't remember anything? You weren't doing something foolish, like grabbing Ayame's knee whilst he was driving were you?"
Shigure flushed. "I could have been... I don't know, okay!? I don't remember!" He sank back against the headboard of the bed, face cradled in the palm of his hand. "Just out of curiosity, where in the Main House are we?"
"Uh... if I may?"
Shigure raised his head to see Kureno leaning in the doorway, a tea tray in his hands and a very gentle smile on his face. He only really noticed it then but in all the time he had known him, Shigure had never seen the rooster angry. With the exception of that morning, but that was more panicked then angry. I wish I could have known him better growing up, he thought as he smiled back. He would have been a good friend. He's the utmost perfect gentleman.
Kureno's smile widened at Shigure's and his face brightened even more. "Not that you would guess from first appearances but you are actually in my room." He handed Hatori his coffee and then set the tray down in order to pour the tea. "I'm glad you're okay. What exactly was it that happened to you two, anyway?"
Hatori flashed him a warning glance as if dissuading him from making up an assumption that might contradict his own story. But the rooster had enough sense to leave the question at that; his concentration set on the task of pouring the tea. The swelling on his eye was making the activity more difficult than usual.
"As I just finished telling Hari, I really don't remember. I must have banged my head pretty bloody hard on the dashboard to wipe my head clean." Shigure smiled lightly and gave his temple a little tap with his knuckle. Hatori raised an eyebrow.
"It wouldn't have to be that hard of a bump to clean your head, Shigure." He said with the slightest hint of a smile.
Kureno clucked his tongue disapprovingly and handed the novelist a cup of tea. The steam barely had time to form into the usual upward funnel before Shigure had the cup pressed to his lips. The hot liquid scalded his tongue but he was so thirsty he was able to ignore it as he took deep mouthfuls. Kureno blanched.
"Easy does it." He said looking as though he wanted to snatch the cup straight back. "It's not a shot of vodka you know. You can savour it. Keep dousing it back like that and Hatori shall have to bandage your tongue!" He laughed at the image and then stopped suddenly, looking bashful. He seems overly aware of himself, Shigure thought examining the rooster's reddened features.
Hatori chuckled. "Now there's something I wouldn't mind tying up for a while. That way we might have some peace and quiet around here."
"HARI!" Shigure cried like twelve-year old. "That's hurtful! How could you say something like that about me? Did you forget that I was considerate enough to move away, whilst Ayame remained to annoy you on a 24 hour basis? Why not tape up his tongue?"
Hatori considered thoughtfully. "Well... Ayame is hardly here anymore anyway. He's always with you. Which suits me fine, considering the amount it saves us in phone bills..."
Kureno chuckled into his hand. "You guys are funny. I wish I could have grown up with you all..."
"It certainly would have made my burden less heavy..." Hatori grumbled.
Shigure winked and laughed his crazy belly laugh. "We would have to have been called 'The Four Musketeers' then! Or found ourselves a new name altogether..."
"Ayame seemed pretty partial to 'Pretty handsome blossom boys' or some nonsense." The doctor said thoughtfully over the lip of his cup. Kureno went ashen.
"Pretty-handsome- blossom boys?!" He said disbelieving. The look on his face was classic. "Maybe it's a good thing I didn't go to school with all of you..."
Hatori nodded. "You'd better believe it."
"Hey!" Shigure yelled, pulling the sleeping Ayame against his side and squeezing his shoulder. "I happen to think that 'Pretty handsome blossom boys' was a fantabulous name! And Hatori, don't forget we had some pretty good times as well! Would you trade that in for anything?"
"At the time I would have traded it in for a good pair of earplugs and a mallet." The dragon replied, never missing a beat. Kureno chuckled again.
Shigure decided to change the topic. He placed his cup on the bedside table and used his free hand to brush the snakes' hair back, exposing the large bump on his cranium. It wasn't bleeding anymore but it was hard, like a lump of bone arching beneath the skin. His beautiful face was covered in tiny cuts and scratches; a glaring circular bruise adorned the left side of his face. To be honest; he was a mess.
"Did Ayame go through the windscreen or something?" He asked picking up his cup and taking another sip from it. Kureno and Hatori exchanged a glance, which sent alarm bells ringing in his head. "What? Did something else happen to him?"
"If you can't tell us, then we certainly can't." Hatori said smoothly. "He was the one driving though. He was found in the driver's seat and the airbag hadn't gone off, so we must assume he wiped himself out on the steering wheel."
Shigure sighed. "Oh Gawd... I'm gonna be hearing about this for the next two weeks. And Saturday! He's going to go off when he see's his face."
"Look on the bright side. It could have been a lot worse." Kureno ventured closing his eyes.
Shigure thought of Kyoko, Tohru's mother and realized this was very true. "Yes," he said. "It could have been a lot worse."
It fell silent for a moment and Shigure could have been content to let it remain that way, if he had not seen something on the bedside table that made him do a double take. Unless my eyes deceive me, is that...?
"Kureno? Whose that picture of?" He asked.
"It's just a picture," Kureno said. He quickly reached over and placed it face down on the cabinet's surface.
"It looked like a picture of that Uotani girl that Tohru is friend's with." Shigure pointed out, a smile starting to form on his face. "But why oh why would you have a picture of Arisa on your bedside table when she is a high-school girl nine years younger than you? Could it be that Uo is your secret luv-luv?"
Kureno shrugged and gazed down at the floor, his face turning a rather fetching shade of violet. He was either sick or very embarrassed.
"Well..." Shigure said with a smug expression.
That was when Ayame started to stir.
"This is only a rehearsal. Take a deep breath, both of you. Try to relax."
Two cloaked individuals did as instructed, breathing in deeply and then relaxing with an exaggerated slump of their shoulders. The man before them, his head shaved to represent priesthood, nodded in satisfaction and gestured to the open area lit by dim torchlight. In the orange glow, a large circle was revealed, split in half by two overlapping half moons. It was roped off by a series of diamond shaped posts; each connected to the other by two X shaped lines of thorns.
The taller of the cloaked figure's whispered something. The shorter responded in a voice obstinately female and the pair locked hands.
And then...
Ayame blinked and gasped as he felt cold fingers lock around his neck. He looked up and saw the tall figure standing before him, his hands clenching his neck in an iron death grip. All too soon he realized what was happening. He was seeing through the eyes of the woman; the shorter figure in the cloaked robe. Was this a vision from the past? It felt all too real to be a dream or a flashback. The fingers were cutting off the air to his lungs and he was gasping, but the sounds coming from him were feminine and the hands he raised to clutch the man's wrists were not his own. The same pale color, but they were definitely not his. He wrenched at the strong arms, trying to pull them away but they held on as though his neck was a life preserver in a raging sea. Ayame could feel his life starting to ebb away, could see the light of the torches on the walls fading into the shadows and grainy patches of black invade his eyes.
And the sharp gleam of the knife clutched in the figure's hand...
It took nearly a full minute to calm him down.
"This is starting to get ridiculous..." Shigure snarled, rocking Ayame back and forth in his arms. He was angry, but not at his lover. "Hatori, what the hell is going on? Isn't there some sort of rational, psychological smart-ass reason for these nightmares? Think man!"
"Take this." Kureno interrupted, presenting Ayame with two Aspirin and a glass of water. He took them both with a mumbled 'thanks.'
Hatori scratched his chin. "Night terrors."
"What?!" Shigure snapped. He took a deep breath and tried to steady his voice. "What do you mean, 'night terrors?'"
The doctor waved a hand gently at him, his visible eye straying to the floor as he thought.
"I'll have to look up on it a little more extensively but it may just be what Ayame is experiencing. He's got the same symptom's; waking up violently, sweating, hyperventilating..."
"But aren't night terrors supposed to fade as you get older?" Kureno pondered as he poured Ayame a cup of tea. The three men stared at him in surprise. "What? I was home schooled you know."
Hatori shook his head. "In any event; in some extreme cases night terrors can return in later life depending on the subject. It's a bit of an enigma but if it will help put your minds at ease, then I shall look into it further."
Ayame shivered in Shigure's arms. "Don't trouble yourself, Hari... you have too much to do as it is."
Hatori was firm. "I can make time."
"Here, drink this." Kureno set the cup down in Ayame's hands and gently nursed them within his own until he was sure the snake had a firm grip on it. His fingers shook but he managed not to spill any as he raised it to his lips to drink. "You are both more than welcome to rest here for a while before you head home. I have no problem with you using my bed. If you promise to only rest on it." He added quickly.
"Is Akito all right with us being here like this?" Ayame wondered as Shigure chuckled. Kureno looked sideways, his thoughts momentarily distracted from the snake's question. He raked a hand through his disheveled hair and sighed tiredly.
"I believe Akito has other matters on his mind, as of late." He said stoically.
SCENE CHANGE
Akito did have other things on his mind and they had been causing him emotional distress for nearly an hour already. Ever since he had parted company with Kureno, he had had been sitting on the deck in his wing of the house, crying. And it wasn't the usual, obsequious kind of crying that he would normally berate himself for, the kind were he would allow his shoulders alone to shake and the minimum of sobs to escape his mouth, no. This was violent and unstoppable. It was the kind of crying that you were unable to prevent even if you had wanted to. The sobs and wails were tearing out of his body of their own accord, to such a lethal degree that he could have put a professional crier to shame. Why all he needed to do was rend his clothing and the effect would be complete!
It had been nearly sixty minutes since he had raised his face from his hands. His palms and cheeks were soaked, his forehead stung from where he was digging his nails in and his chest hurt from the stamina of his tears.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god-" He rambled between sobs, his legs hanging over the side of the verandah and his back curved at such an angle that his head could almost touch his knees. He rocked back and forth, talking to himself. Damning himself. Cursing himself. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, they all hate you- why don't you just fucking die already?!" With a vengeful snarl he started raking at his own face, trying to tear it off to kill the face that everyone recognized as being he. To extinguish who he was by destroying that awful damnable face. "Why don't you just DIE ALREADY?!" He roared and inexplicably began to cry again, rolling onto his side on the deck and weakly punching it with his fist. He could feel his face burning. "Why...? Why can't I just die...? I want to... I wanna die..."
Akito dissolved into a fresh chorus of sobs, squeezing his eyes shut and curling up as if this might somehow shield him from everything. He was so confused. So hurt and so confused and so... lonely.
I'm nineteen years old... He thought. And I'm miserable... I'm all alone and I'm miserable. I'm barely born and I'm ready to die...
He gritted his teeth against the juggernaut of his grief and covered his face with his hand, his shoulders rocking in short, sharp jerks. Everything around him was being infected by a nightmare. The nightmare's he saw in his sleep were leaking out to claim the world around him and thrust him deep into despair. If anyone were to find him like this... it would be so humiliating, he didn't think he'd be able to stand it. But yet, try as he might he found he couldn't stop... and frankly that he didn't want to stop. It felt good to cry like this, for once.
Akito had this image of his mother in his head, the way he wanted to preserve her memory and existence. In his mind she was strong and kind... She didn't hurt her zodiac or beat her servants for a simple mistake. Such discredits were his weakness not hers. Tamiko would not have succumbed to the curse such as he had. She would have fought it to her very last breath. And that breath was drawn in her futon, with beloved family by her side. Not falling from the window in which they had both spent their days wasting away from within, gazing out and hoping to be free from it all.
It couldn't be that the two of them were both weak and precocious... could it? Akito wanted more than anything to be like his mother. That was what kept him going; day in and day out, even with his body caving from within and his soul despairing as the darkness claimed it. But... the mother he wanted to be like, was not the mother he thought she was. She was... more like he. Weak... selfish... lonely... a victim of her own desires... ultimately, human. He didn't want that from her. He wanted sword swinging heroics, not the head hanging surrender, the give-in go-along save-your-own-skin approach. Not from her. Not from Tamiko Sohma.
But that wasn't the only thing that made him cry.
He had done well to hide it so far, but seeing Shigure inside with Ayame, holding him that way- the way he cared for him... it infuriated him. What the hell was so great about that despicable, whorish snake?! Akito punched the deck hard with the side of his fist and growled in frustration. It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair that Shigure was in love with him! It wasn't fair that they were in love in the first place!
Akito knew he was being irrational and he didn't care. He wasn't sure what he felt for Shigure, but the feelings had always been there for as long as he could remember. He couldn't recall a day when he hadn't felt that particular protective urge over the dark haired dog of the zodiac. But he had never thought to define it as a latent attraction... feelings of compassion and affection.
Yet... when he had seen the two of them together like that, holding one another, another feeling surged up that was so strong Akito knew that what he felt for Shigure had been more true then even he realized.
He was jealous.
And not jealous in the way that he had been over Hatori and Kana. The emotion then had been more obsolete, more definitive in the possessive sense in which he thought to control and bind to him the individual members of the zodiac. Kana could not have more influence over Hatori then he did, which was why he denied them the right to marry. But this wasn't a matter of control or influence. He knew that Ayame and Shigure had been friend's their whole lives and that influencing was going to happen on account of their friendship regardless. The feeling was more simple then that, but it hurt all the more so. Hurt in such a way that the horror of Hatori's eye being damaged did not even compare. This feeling came not of guilt, nor of anger. It was intent and despairing. Desperate and needing.
He wanted Shigure.
He wanted Shigure and Shigure was not his to take. He never had been.
And this made the shock of finding out the secrets of his mother hurt even more.
Akito held a hand to his chest. My heart's breaking, he thought. I actually cared for him and now my heart is broken. He squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered, burying his face in his kimono sleeve. As he cried, he became aware of the small white bird that had come to rest just beyond the wall of his arm. It gazed at him questioningly and gave a soft chirp. Akito sniffed and raised his chin, setting it on the bridge of his arm. He regarded the bird with oblique interest.
"What?" He asked finally. The bird just stared at him. "You want to know what's bothering me, is that it?" No response. Akito decided to play along, if only for the fact that it distracted him from crying. "Apart from the fact that I am talking to a bird, well... ...I've been alone for a very long time. Not so much alone as the definition of an absence of people but alone in heart and soul. It sound's petty, it sounds childish. To want the way I want. To have just one true honest to goodness friend, if anything. I mean... don't get me wrong, Kureno is a wonderful companion and it is my privilege to have him in my life the way I do but- I want more than that. I want someone who can truly understand me, the way in which I can't even understand myself. To understand why I am who I am. Someone to just smile at me, to talk with... to hold me in their arms and hide me from the world." He sat up a little, allowing the wind to toy with his hair. He was thinking aloud now, not even consciously addressing the bird anymore. Perhaps it was just an excuse to confide in himself. "I've never had a true friend. Never had anyone who was just willing to understand me. To tell you the truth... I can't even remember the last time that somebody told me that they loved me. Sometimes I wonder whether in fact anybody has even said those words to me. I suppose... I'm not an easy person to love. Perhaps I never have been, even before I became corrupt." He sighed and gritted his teeth. "All I want now is for the pain to go away. I want someone to make it go away. I want... I want someone to take care of me, even if it's just for a little while..."
He thought on this, the wind kicking up into a steady beat that caused his long bangs to sway to one side of his face. The little bird fluttered its wings unsteadily and eventually took to the air, moving inside in order to sip from its' water dish. As it began to duck its' beak into the water, a voice came from the very breeze itself.
'Perhaps you did have someone and you just don't know it...'
Akito consciously jerked up and gasped as he felt a hand clasp his chin from beneath. He had a feeling that he was being made to look into someone's face though that someone was not visible to his eyes. What might have been a thumb stroked the soft shape of his jaw line.
'Akito...' It said. 'You have not gone a lifetime without love. Once you were told that you were loved every single day. And you still are loved, even though you cannot hear the words.'
Reality was starting to blur in and out, a dream world overlapping the borders of his vision and Akito could feel himself slipping. A blissful softness encased the corners of his consciousness and he was leaning backwards, supported by the hands wrapped around the center of his back. The sun, almost hidden completely behind the hills, flickered, as though it were a bulb about to go out. Everything seemed to be covered in a misty sort of haze; the way you might see the world when you first wake up in the morning. But in this grayness, the form that held Akito came to light. The outline and then the area between as though shaded into life with a painters' brush. The Sohma master blinked dazedly as he gazed up at the tall figure holding him; dressed in a brown earthy robe with the hood pulled over his head to obscure his eyes. Only the lower half of the face, a smooth strong chin and pouty lips were revealed to the eyes of the spider.
"Who are you?" Akito softly asked.
The breeze blew gently and the voice spoke from it as though the wind itself was the robed ones lips.
'S.E.C.R.E.T.'
"Secret..." Akito spelled out, tentatively reaching his hand up to rest upon the figures' shoulder. He could feel no warmth radiating from beneath the scratchy garment. "Why a secret...? Tell me... please."
The figure smiled down at him. 'And what would be the fun in that?' It teased. 'You have to figure this out yourself. That's the only way you'll ever know. Besides haven't you had enough today to contend with? Come now... you've been crying.' Akito suppressed a gasp as the long, slightly worn hand of the stranger came up to clean the tears from his face. The skin felt worn and rough against the softness of his cheeks and he liked it. Maybe a little too much. 'What you found out about your mother has upset you...'
"You heard Kureno?"
'I'm not a blind Freddy, you know.' The stranger said with an ironic sounding chuckle. Akito cocked an eyebrow.
"Blind... Freddy?"
'A person who is not one to be deceived.' The robed one pushed forward so that his body was angled over Akito's, who in turn had to lay back on the deck in order to support his weight. 'Never mind. And try not to let what Shigure and Aya have bother you so much... at least not to the point of raving lunacy. You keep this up and you're going to ruin yourself.'
"I don't care."
'I care. And to see you lying here alone, crying your eyes out breaks my heart. Don't ever, ever EVER tell yourself that you are ready to die. That's bullshit. Everyone has a right to be weak but to act like this you are simply abusing the privilege. Were you given life to so sparsely give up and die?'
"You know nothing..." Akito hissed, his hand roving across the broad shoulders that were angled in perfect symmetry to his own. He was now lying flat against the deck and the strangers body was suspended deliciously above him. "The Sohma master is born alone for the reason to die. That's the way it was decided and the way it always has been."
'No it hasn't.'
Akito's eyes fluttered open as the figure pressed his hand down against the arch of his hip, holding him steady. His lips came close enough to brush against his own, yet the breath that teased him so tantalizingly was not warm. It felt cool and crisp, like the wind itself from which the voice fell.
"What to you mean?" He asked.
The stranger watched him without waver, the breeze sending the lighter folds of his robes swirling about his lean figure. It appeared that he was contemplating silently to his own self and Akito was not privy to the debate that raged without his knowledge.
'There are many secrets within the house of Sohma,' it said at last. 'But... that is a mystery best left for another day.' His form suddenly wavered, as though he was an image projected from a television screen and the reception was becoming distorted. He murmured and the flickering subsided. 'I... don't have much time left. I came here to help you find that which you have been seeking so relentlessly. The question that has engulfed your mind in each waking moment and the moments in which you sleep also.'
"Which is?" Akito's voice was soft and awed. The stranger's lips came closer until they rested on the delicate shell of Akito's ear, each cool breath sending shivers down his spine.
'Lucky...' He whispered. Akito's eyes widened at the mention of the word. 'Listen carefully sweetheart... listen and understand the very nature of the darkness and the dull gray of each tiny pinpoint that is the worlds art. Never again will you be as fragile, as small as you are now yet you shall always be of the equal divine beauty in which you are completely unaware. You fear to never know the furtive exquisiteness of the passing of days in which as one you shall grown old and savour the mortal mystery of it. Perhaps that is not the gift you were given but the nobility of living is that we learn to accept whatever gifts or lack of are placed in our hands.' His voice lowered another nuance. 'He will come to you Akito. ...But you have to want him to come. His feet cannot take hold of the ground without your wanting for him to find his way back to you. But... he has not left you alone with just these words to summon his resurrection, my boy. He left you with the goodbye that you were never allowed to hear. The goodbye you cannot understand for there was never one there who ever needed to tell you 'goodbye, I fall to the path of the moonlight.' You know where this goodbye remains. It is waiting for you. It has been waiting for you for seven years...'
Akito could feel the confusion batter against his mind as he tried to absorb these words. But even the articulation of his thoughts were tangled in the possessive actions of the robed figure above him, the large hands separating the halves of his robes in order to touch the flat stomach concealed beneath. The broad fingertips slid across the sparse sweat that had formed to caress pink nipples, pert from the very presence of the stranger. Akito swelled with the lustful desire for sex, though distinguishable from any emotional attachments that one might secure with the title of 'love.' He needed for the physical extinguishing of the plume that burned constantly within him. When he arched his hips, he felt the other man's hardness brush against his own and the discovery of this new sensation made him moan in ecstasy.
"I... I'm not sure... what you mean..." He managed to say between gasps of much needed air. The figures' lips quirked into a smile and he pressed the tip of his finger to the center of Akito's shiny chest, stroking down through the gathering moisture.
'Creak, creak, creak...' He said covering Akito's eyes with his spare hand and leaning down to kiss his forehead. 'Now... make a good run of it. No more tears, hmm? Be strong...'
"Wait..." Akito said but trailed off as a sense of weariness overtook his senses. He was plunged into a vat of darkness and after what may have been moments or minutes, he awoke on the deck. For a while he was still and then methodically he began to check himself over. He wasn't aroused, his body was dry and his clothes were still pulled modestly around him. But one thing remained to convince him that what had just happened was no jest of a dream.
There were no tears upon his face.
And now he knew what had to be done.
SCENE CHANGE
Kureno, Hatori, Ayame and Shigure had all been laughing about something when a loud thumping noise cut their conversation short. The four men glanced at each other in confusion then turned their attention to the hallway, where the sound seemed to be coming from.
"What the Hell is that?" Shigure asked as he set his cup down. Kureno bit his lip.
"I couldn't say..." He said climbing to his feet and peering out into the hallway. A servant girl hurried past and he reached out to stop her. "Lakaya, what's going on?"
The young lady stammered and bowed jerkily. "It's the master Akito, Mr. Kureno. I'm afraid that he has lost his mind!"
"She only just noticed?" Ayame whispered to Shigure. Both men chortled between themselves.
"Silence!" Kureno barked over his shoulder and turned his attention back to the servant. "What do you mean 'he's lost his mind?' What is he doing?"
Lakaya's voice continued to wobble and she fidgeted with her hands all the while she addressed Kureno.
"The master... came storming into the house with one of those large hammers over his shoulder! I... I forget what they're called..."
"Sledgehammer." Kureno said impatiently. "Continue."
"Right! Naturally I was alarmed and I stayed well out of his way but he didn't pay any mind at all to the servants. He went straight up the stairs to his room and started to bludgeon this floorboard to pieces! I didn't know what to think, so I just went on about my business..."
"Bludgeon his floorboards?" Ayame pondered out loud. Shigure scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"Perhaps it's some sort of advanced anger management therapy?" He suggested only half jokingly. Kureno ignored them both, lowering his face and closing his eyes as he procrastinated.
"Just what is it he thinks he's-!" He sighed in exasperation and threw his arms down. "I should never have told him... but guess it's my responsibility to go and stop him."
"Are you suicidal?!" Shigure asked rhetorically. He decided to answer this himself. "Why yes, you are suicidal. Because only someone who has real issues with his life is going to barrel in on an angry Akito with a jackhammer."
"Sledgehammer, not jackhammer,you jackass." Kureno snapped already on his way out the door. "Besides it's not like he can make an even bigger mess of my face then he already has."
"Wanna bet on it?" Shigure mumbled as they followed the rooster out into the hallway. Lakaya pointedly went in the opposite direction and Shigure couldn't help but think that she was the smart one. Generally, if you were a civilian you didn't walk between the firing lines of the Germans and the English. And going to talk to Akito with a dangerous weapon and sadistic tendencies was even higher on the list of '101 best worst ways to die!' Ayame reached down and twined his fingers through Shigure's, looking him in the eyes encouragingly.
"Quite a day, huh?" He said in a bright cheery way that just seemed to contradict everything that was happening. "I'll be glad when it's all over and we can just curl up together and go to sleep."
"Ayame... you say that every day!" Shigure said affectionately. The snake shrugged.
"Well... when it's you I get to cuddle up with, can you really blame me?"
"Shut up you two." Hatori grunted as he strode on ahead of them. "How can you even behave that way after being in a car crash?"
"Well how would you have us behave, Hari?" Ayame asked tartly, wrapping his arm around Shigure's waist and leaning into him. Shigure pulled him in tight and leered at the dragon.
"Yeah, how would you have us behave, Hari?" He parroted.
The doctor shook his head. "Idiots..."
They finally came to Akito's room. The door was wide open and a bunch of servants and a few Family Elder's were standing around observing, yet clearly too sensible to enter. Kureno however did not share this tactic and immediately stepped through the door without accessing the situation first. Hatori, Shigure and Ayame all stayed at a respectable distance.
"Akito... what are you doing?" The rooster asked, using his best 'talking-to-dangerous-mentally-unhinged-people' voice. Akito raised the sledgehammer and swung it down with as much force as he could muster from his tiny frame. He grunted as it bounced off of the hard floorboard, leaving a satisfying indent in the surface.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" He said uninterestedly, dragging the head of the hammer behind him and arching his back to bring it over his shoulders again. With a violent cry he struck the floorboard, earning for his efforts a slight splintering of wood. "I'm breaking this floorboard, is that so difficult to see?"
Kureno blinked at his master, expecting him to elaborate exactly why this floorboard deserved his wrath but he said no more. Just continued to strike the dark plank of wood repeatedly with waning strength.
"Forgive me for asking sir but... why?"
Akito huffed and rested momentarily on the hammers' staff, wobbling a little in his effort to remain standing. It was then that Kureno noticed that he didn't have his cane with him. He had left it in the music room before he ran out.
'He must be exhausted,' the rooster thought, drawing closer to the boy and noting the sweat beading on his forehead. The strength of the breaths tearing from his chest.
"There's something under here..." Akito panted, indicating the floorboard with a tap of his foot. He wobbled dangerously before managing to steady himself on the hammer. "I must find out what it is. I must!" He raised the hammer prepared to bring it down once more but the weight bore him backwards. He fell hard on his butt, exclaiming loudly and releasing the sledgehammer allowing it to clunk squarely to the floor behind him.
"Akito!" Kureno cried sharply rushing to his side. The master was wincing painfully and rubbing his shoulder. "You have to be careful. You're not as strong as you once were and even I would have difficulty raising that hammer."
"You would have no difficulty." Akito said as he rubbed his shoulder contemptuously. "No one has any idea what it's like to be this weak, to not be able to do anything for myself... well..." He struggled to his feet and placed his hands squarely on the hammers handle. "I want to do this. I'm going to do this for myself. I'm not going to be weak anymore!"
He moved to swing the hammer but Kureno grasped the tool at the very base, near the master's hands and pressed down with all the strength he possessed. Akito managed to hold his stance for a moment, but ever so slowly his knees began to bend toward the floor. He grit his teeth trying to withstand it but eventually the pressure became too much and he collapsed painfully to his knees. Kureno snatched the sledgehammer away and hefted it up onto his shoulders.
"How DARE you?!" Akito hissed between pants. Kureno was apathetic.
"Akito, you keep this up you're going to give yourself another fever." He pointed out. The master was adamant.
"I don't care!" He shouted. "I only want to know and this may be the way to figure it out! I know you can't understand and I don't expect you to- but you let me do this! You let me or I shan't ever forgive you!"
For a long time the pair continued to stare each other in the eyes, exerting their individual will in some silent exchange that none other were privy to. Akito's desire to complete this task was greater than any other desire that had ever been present within him. Somehow, he didn't know how but- he just knew that if he could discover the truth hidden beneath the floorboard, he could finally begin to make sense of things. Even dying as he was, he didn't want to go to his grave never knowing the answer to the questions that plagued him. Akito huffed angrily as his eyes roved over the group assembled outside the door. None of them understood what it was like for him. They just continued to stare at him in that same pitiful, insulting way they always did. And Shigure... he too was just staring. Both his arms around Ayame but his eyes locked on Akito, wondering, silently asking...
'I wish you wouldn't look at me the same way they do...' Akito thought to himself, his expression softening slightly. 'Look at me like you understand. Look me in the eyes and tell me without saying a word that you know. Can you do that Shigure?'
He continued to stare.
Kureno took note of Akito's mellowing expression and knew that he was giving in to the sadness again. He thought of what he had told him only an hour ago, the truth about his mother. The unflattering truth that could have easily crippled anyone. The hammer grew heavier in his hands.
"Akito..." He whispered. "I'm sorry... but..."
He stinted on that for a long time, his dark brown eyes locked on the darker, oppressive ones of the boy he had grown up with. The boy he had grown to love. Kureno couldn't even begin to understand Akito's reasoning for unearthing this floorboard but decided that perhaps it wasn't necessarily in need of rationalizing. If it would make him happy...
Akito jumped as Kureno violently brought the sledgehammer down with all his might. The rooster cried out as the muscles in his arms strained with the force he exerted, the contact against the wood jarring up his wrists. Yet, the training he put himself through, the power that he kept concealed was just enough. The floorboard shattered right down the middle, splinters spitting from the crack and spilling outward like stiff strands of straw. Kureno hit it once more and the floorboard smashed clean open, the sides popping free from the rest of the boards whilst the center caved in. Abandoning the sledgehammer, he knelt down and tugged one half of the board free, depositing it on the floor beside him. Akito helped him with the second piece feeling excitement flood his veins. It didn't even appeal to him that there might not be anything beneath the floorboard at all. He just knew. There was something there. There had to be!
Brushing aside woodchips and various insulation materials Akito's fingers came across something smooth and flat. He squinted his eyes to make it out from the darkness and realized that it was a box. It had been placed on the boards that formed the ceiling of the lower rooms and wedged between two support beams. He locked eyes with Kureno, wondering if he too could see it. According to his facial expression, it would seem he had.
"Oh dear..." He said softly. Akito didn't hear him. He was too entranced by the discovery he had made.
"Pull it out." He ordered; his eyes dancing in a way they never had before. "Quickly, pull it out Kureno!"
The rooster seemed more than hesitant in the application of this order but he did as he was told, extracting the box from it's hiding place and setting it on the floor. Akito pounced on it, his face an eager mask of anticipation as his hands roved all over it.
"Look at this..." He whispered, more so to himself than Kureno. "There really was something here after all..."
"Be careful, sir..." Kureno cautioned as he moved to his side. Akito scoffed at his concern.
"Please, it's just a box." He grumbled, tipping it up on one side. For that matter, it was a fairly unattractive box- about the width and length of a thick paperback novel and a dank brown mildew-y color. There was a noticeable absence of decorations on it, save for a small circular pendant situated where the lock would normally be. Akito pointed this out to Kureno.
"What do you think this could be?" He asked, cocking his head to one side as though this would somehow make it reveal its' secrets. The rooster didn't have an immediate answer for this.
"It's so dusty I couldn't say." He wiped at it with his sleeve, succeeding in clearing away the worst of the grime. Underneath a layer of glass entombed a tiny clock face. Kureno examined it closely and ran a hand through his hair. "That's odd."
"What is?"
"Well... the spaces were the numbers would ordinarily be is blank." He indicated the tiny clock. "What's more... it seems that the second's hand is... still ticking."
Akito stared at him ostentatiously for a moment and then bent forward to get a better look. He was surprised to see that the second's hand was indeed ticking. It was moving steadfast toward the upper rise of the clock- where the 12 would ordinarily be.
"How interesting." He said as he rested back on his knees. "It doesn't even make a sound. Still, what I'm more interested in is how we open it."
As if his words had been some kind of trigger, it was at that moment that the second hand struck the high rise of the clock face. It clicked into place and a tiny sound, like a key turning in a lock, came from the box. With an anti-climatic creak, the lid swung open revealing the secret within.
Inside, set between the walls of red leather lining was a black videocassette, a small white feather taped to its surface.
Kureno went ashen and sat back with a thud. "Oh no..."
"Hey Gure... why do you think Kureno looks so pale?" Ayame asked his dark haired lover. Shigure smiled pleasantly.
"Probably seen 'The Ring' one too many times."
Note: I really shouldn't be making promises that I can't keep huh? Oh well from now on I'm just going to have to stop doing spoilers since my chapter plans end up being cut in half. But I can say that I'm up to date, except for the Ayame/Shigure lemon thing I promised... Oh well, that will be next chapter I swear! The secret of the floorboard was revealed but now you'll have to wait to next chapter to see what's on the tape! Don't worry I'll make it worth your wait! Please R and R and I'll see to it that the next chapter heads you way soon. I'll only update though if I feel like I have a certain number of reviews under my belt! I'm shameless like that, but it's how I work!
