Born to be Broken

Disclaimer: This whole, 'I don't own it' deal is getting a bit old, wouldn't you say? I'm running out of original, humorous ways in which to voice my non-association with the creators of this fabulous show/manga. Therefore, I've decided to substitute with some profound understated disclaimer that will be so boring and obscure that people will alternatively find it funny. Will it work? Beats the Hell out of me, but I like danger so here goes. I don't own Fruits Basket. It does not belong to me and in no way shape or form does my fanfiction and self righteous opinions reflect on the creators at all. It should be so obvious as the product of Fruits Basket includes just a dash of something that is remiss in my own work: Integrity. But I hope you shall enjoy this step away from reality as much as I enjoy writing about it. How's that? Good? ...Ah who am I kidding...

Note: Here it is folks. The chapter where stuff starts to actually happen! Try not to have a heart attack or anything. I know that shock is great, but please try to stay alive. I need the reviews. I have just returned from a swanky holiday on the Gold Coast of Australia and after a refreshing (and not at all stressful, due to the company of my energetic younger cousins and nephew) break I am back to writing. Trying to update as quickly as possible, but keep in mind that what I lack in schedule, I make up for in the length of my chapters. Hence the reason it takes so long to produce them. On that note, due to the length of this chapter, I've had no choice but to cut it in half and unfortunately the Ayame/Shigure sex scene I was promising, is in the second half. I know I promised it would be here and I apologize but technically it was here but this chapter was already long enough. You'll just have to wait a little longer to read it. I'll try and make it worth the wait, I swear!

Now with all that serious stuff out of the way, time to thank my reviewers:

LuceScuro: Well... I did always feel that Akito was related to Samara in some far off distant way. (AKA: Her brother) Oh yeah, and I know it's supposed to be Sadako, all you Japanese nuts. I did think that myself when I had him smashing up the floorboards' 'Oh God... people are going to make the inevitable Ring comparisons.' (Ringu to all you Japanese nuts) I'm glad that you like the way I portray Kureno! Really though, I don't think he has quite the amount of spine that I've given him, in the manga. What I'm really trying to do (off I fanwank again) is represent him essentially as strength of character. I've decided to portray him a little differently then I have seen him so far in other fanfics. Not to say that their interpretations are not excellent, or for that matter wrong, I was just trying for something unique. Hmm, yes Kureno is definitely hot. And he does look a lot like Kyou. Only his face and disposition is much more gentle then our lovable little Kyonkichikun. Well thankyou for the review and I hope you enjoy the next chapter with very OOC Kureno! (Hugs)

Raiknii: Yay a new reviewer! (Hugs) Sound's like you're enjoying the fic so far. That's something I always like to hear. And by the way, there is no chapter 98. In fact, there is no Fruits Basket manga. And even if there was, it would have absolutely no bearing on the anime version of Akito at all, who is a boy. In the 4th disk, his robes are down so low that you would be able to see evident cleavage, not to mention his voice and whatnot. This fanfic takes off following the completion of the anime and doesn't relate to the manga, except for Kureno. I think the illustrators decided that at the last moment, because the representation of Akito that we see in the anime can't possibly be a girl. I've seen the shots that show him as a girl and my immediate reaction was; "Have another bong, manga script writers." My plot lines are better than that one and that is saying something. They could have Akito declaring 'I am Kundra!' and shooting lightening bolts from the rooftops and I still wouldn't buy into it. As far as I'm concerned, they can do whatever they want with Akito in the manga, but in the English anime version of Fruits Basket - (which mind you, had an ending that never occurred in the manga so that should be saying something about the differences) – he is a boy and I will be using him for yaoi. So there you have it. I'm right. They're are wrong. All is right with the world. And for that matter, Akito's mom's name isn't Ren. It's Tamiko. God, get it right manga script writers.

HelloKat: ;; I'm sorry! I don't mean to leave you hanging in suspense that's just how it works out! (Cries and begs forgiveness) Well... as long as someone appreciates the subtle art of cliffhangers then I suppose it will be all right. I'm trying to quit that nasty habit however, since it's starting to affect my lovely reviewers! (And they might start to affect me with nasty flames that will make me cry! ,--,) I'm so glad to finally get to that bloody tape! I've been dying to reveal it for so long! There's just another Ring reference waiting to dance onstage, I know it. (Hugs) Thanks for the review and I hope you will enjoy the next chapter, cliffhanger or no! (Runs from multiple baseball bats)

duos-deathscythe: Well, here is the next chappie as promised! Though I wish I could dish them out just a tad faster, then everyone would be happy. On that note, I may as well mention that I read your fic the other day! (I'm sorry, I don't remember the name! Shoot me... I was too busy reading it to look at the title... ;;) The Ayame/Shigure one where Akito is... uh... less then nice, I guess I can say. It was really very, very good! Exquisite! (Blows a kiss) Granted I am an Akito fan, but I'm not about pristining him too much and your plot was so good I was able to almost dislike him for what he did! Almost. But then again, I'm a very loyal Akitty fan. I haven't had a chance to leave a review yet, but I will get round to it as soon as I have the time. One thing that confused me though: In your notes you mentioned something about writing the fic because of an incomplete one that you did not mention the name of, nor the site on which it appeared. But you clearly were not happy with the direction the fic took. I won't jump to conclusions, since that just makes me look asinine, but I couldn't help but feel that my fic was the one that you mentioned. I apologize for making such an assumption if I am wrong, since you did review this fanfic and seem to be enjoying it, but I am paranoid by nature and thus it would be nice just to clarify this. That aside, your fic was wonderful and I am hoping that you will continue with it ASAP. And that hopefully, you are enjoying this fic as much as I enjoy yours.

Demeter1: (Beams) I love you too! (Hugs Demeter) And uh... if you are really that compelled to eat my fanfic, then just make sure that you regurgitate it later so that I can continue writing it. Regurgitate preferably.

Did you really like that scene with Akito breaking the floorboards? I didn't like that at all! I thought it was poorly written and completely OOC but ... hey! If my reviewers like it then who am I to argue? The contents of the tape will be revealed at the beginning of this chapter, and I have spent a very, very, very, long time bloody polishing it to make sure that it is as good as I can get it. I must admit I'm quite proud of it, but essentially it is the opinions of my readers that is most important. Therefore, I am hoping that you too will like it.

As for the OC, well a 'beautiful entity' is kind of ironic... but who said that the robed guy was Akito's love interest?

I adore Ritsu too! So many of my friends find him annoying and that really steamed my beans, so he has a big part in this little ficcy! (Hugs Ritsu) I love him so much! Strangely enough, I'm leaning towards having him and Akito become close. (Not close in that way, in a friend's sort of way.) Well... we'll see what happens. I am happy to present you with as much Akito as I can my dear, and the fact that you review every chapter and write such long interesting reviews has secured you as one of my favorite reviewers. (Hugs Demeter1) Love ya lots!

Purple Witchy Angel: I can't believe you thought that chapter was awesome! I really didn't like it! Just goes to show, eh? Just like Demeter1 I can always rely on you to review each and every chapter, so just for that you get the NaPap Special Favorites Hug! (Hugs Witchy Angel.) There, now wasn't that nice? Hey! Why are you running away?

(Hangs head in shame) Sorry about the evil cliffhanger. I am suitably ashamed and seeking counseling for my addiction to them. Yay! I'm making you like Akito! (Does happy victory dance) I want people to see that he really is a victim too, just like all of them he is at the mercy of the curse. Not to say that he's a good person. He may of been, but he has been corrupt and he is aware of that fact. He is very psychologically damaged and has mental problems, that much is obvious. But hey, lots of teenagers do. Glad that I've opened your eyes to Kureno! He really is a neat character no matter how you look at him. Sorry, my representation is a little different to his actual personality but I've used aspects of his real persona to influence me, so it's not all fantasy. Keep your shorts on (for now) the lemon will be coming your way soon. Next chapter honey, I swear!

Moondoom: Another fan of The Game we Play who also likes this fic? (Has a cardiac arrest and dies) That's awesome! I'm so happy that you are enjoying my fics and by extension the Ayame/Shigure pairing! Did you really read all of The Game we Play in one sitting and then move on to this one? Man... how could you handle all that angst and fluff in one hit? I'm flattered that you are enjoying my work this much, it really is wonderful to know that people are really investing such time and devotion to my writing. I'm really happy. Thankyou! When you put so much of your time and effort into something and people notice, it inspires you to try just a little bit harder, you know? (Laughs) I love Hatori too! I torment him mercilessly, but I really do adore that grumpy old dragon! (Just not when he's paired up with Ayame and Shigure)

I hope you are not getting into trouble for reading on into the early hours of the morning! I don't want angry parent's writing long abusive emails to me. I'd only get jealous of their superior spelling and grammar skills anyway. ;; Still, the point is, is that you are enjoying my fic and for that I couldn't be happier!

Shu: Are you serious? I've read heaps of fics out there better than mine! Not to say that I am not flattered and overwhelmed by your comments. Thankyou very much! (Hugs) How do people come up with their plot's, you wonder? Well it's an interesting story... One day I was lounging around, eating some chocolate and looking at my picture of Akitty when I thought; 'Hey! I should write a totally original fic all about how the curse of the Sohma family originated!' And I wish I could say that this was just tongue in cheek. That's really what happened my dear and I wish it could have been a tad more riveting then that, but there you have it. That's the story! Ah, another fan of The Game we Play who also likes this fic! This is too much! (Throws another party) You really like my work, huh? Oh I'm so happy! (Starts to cry) Uh, I don't have a website or anything yet but I have two other fics up at if you're interesting in reading more of my fanfiction. It's not much; just a humorous recap of the script of Shadow of Destiny and the 5th chapter of The Game we Play. Otherwise you'll just have to keep looking back here for my regular (and not at all lackadaisical) updates.

I was hoping someone would ask why I called Akito the spider! It's my own personal metaphor of him that I got from the anime and manga. Everyone had symbol's I noticed and whilst I was watching the 'Ka-ching wipe gallery' and listening to the commentary, I noticed that Uo and Hana each had a visual symbol that seemed key to their persona. Akito didn't have a symbol at all and this was supposed to reinforce his mystery. However it got me to thinking of what might be a suitable symbol representation for him and I settled on a spider, after viewing the confrontation scene in episode 26. Shigure better explains this for me in ... um... the chapter which the exorcism takes place. I can't remember what number it is!

In this instance being the spider takes on new meaning for Akito. A spider doesn't move into the center of it's web unless something disturbs it, and when something does, the spider attacks it. Shigure said Akito was the 'core' of the zodiac curse, such as the spider is the source of the web it spins, pulling all things into it's possession, once they are ensnared within the web. The web is the wanky symbolism of the tangled relationships of the Sohma family and the mysteries they are trying to unravel from it. See? Some deep philosophical thought did go into this!

(Gather's up muses Shu sent for her) Thankyou for your most generous offering of muses! Mine are lazy coach potato's who don't do any work at all so I'm grateful to have these. Hope you enjoy the next chapter! Love ya lots! (Hugs)

And now with the world's longest reviewer column out of the way, time for the fic itself! Hold onto your pants people and don't piss in them.

"I don't believe that life is supposed to make you feel good, or make you feel miserable either. Life is just supposed to make you feel."
- Gloria Naylor

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Kureno slapped his hand against the slot of the VCR to prevent Akito from inserting the tape. The family master sighed impatiently.

"Move Kureno."

"Sir, try not to be hasty." The rooster quipped, positioning his entire body before the television set, as though to protect it from harm. "Think. This may not be such a good idea."

"Oh? ... Really?" Akito raised an eyebrow in mock alarm. "Well guess what? I don't care. Now... do as I say... and shift. Your. Ass."

The slow cold way in which he spoke was very familiar to Kureno, even if the words themselves were somewhat out of character. The boy stood straight and tall before him, free from the assistance of his cane, his eyes glowering with excitement, such as he'd never witnessed before. The discovery of the tape appeared to have given Akito new strength. A whiplash of energy that surmounted the curiosity swelling within him and gave his weak body the ability to follow out his mind's desire. His desire was to view that tape. And one very unnerved and determined subordinate stood between him and the object necessary in order to do so.

Kureno inhaled with a rattling shudder and hissed the breath out through the upper and lower rows of his teeth. His fingers grasped the front of the VCR tightly.

"Sir, please-" He began in earnest. "You are tired and you are not thinking straight. Perhaps with some rest, by tomorrow you should be able to correctly consider the situation and make an educated-"

"So, you say I lack the ability to think rationally?" Akito asked softly, his voice an early shade of malignant intent. His eyes were calm and soft, but continued to shine with anticipation. "I am tired Kureno. Every day of my life I am weary. Were I to make my decision tomorrow, it would be the same as the decision I have made now. I want to see this tape. I don't know how, but I feel as though it may answer the questions that plague me. Would you wrought that right from me, my dear Kureno?" To the rooster's amazement, his master extended his hand to him; the one holding the tape. "Would you tryst this tape from the very hand that I extend to you... and smash it over your knee?" His voice grew even softer, a husky overture of Autumn wind on a dried leaf. "Would you do that Kureno? Would you deny me of something that I want so badly... when I am to die, so very soon?"

The play of guilt hit the raw nerve in Kureno that Akito had been calculating on. His unbruised eye softened with moisture and the rigidity of his stance wavered momentarily. But then, something within him, perhaps the trained part of his persona that had learnt to cripple emotion, won over. His face tightened against the wave of sympathy that battered against his feelings.

"Akito..." He began. "I don't seek to deny you of anything. Know that. My whole life I have been at your side, and I know how it is that you have suffered." Akito's eyes remained untouched. "As such, I would do anything to ease this burden. Hell, I would take it upon my own shoulder's if I could so that you could live the life you should have."

"But...?" Akito conceded, tilting his chin upwards.

"But, I believe that were you to watch this tape and surrender to your curiosity, there would be nothing to hold you back from digging deeper and deeper." The rooster lowered his eyes. "Just as the truth of your mother wounded you, who's to say that whatever is on that tape will not also hurt you? I failed you once in that, I do not wish to do so again."

Akito shook the hand bearing the tape. "So... if you feel that way. Take it." He gestured forward roughly. "Take this tape and dispose of it as you please. Destroy it. Destroy it, so that my poor, meek, innocent eyes cannot gaze upon the monstrosity's captured on this evil tape."

The silence stretched onward after he spoke that final word. It stretched such as a string of chewing gum, thinning in the middle with the shifting feet of the rest of the family, standing just out of sight beyond the closed door. Kureno wrestled with the compulsion to take Akito's bait, to snatch the tape out of his hand and smash it against the ground, eradicating whatever was on it forever. He couldn't rationalize why, but a part of him knew that the tape was something best left forgotten. Just as the one who made it...

But the desire snapped as securely as the silence and he bowed his head, knowing full well he could not follow through with the action he thought best. Perhaps part of it was guilt on Akito's behalf, or partly the fear of Akito's reaction should he do so. Or maybe it was because some miniscule part of himself too was yearning to know just what was on this mysterious tape. As such, he found himself bowing his head in defeat, berating himself internally.

"I... cannot...." He affirmed quietly.

Akito drew back the tape, smiling in a congratulatory fashion. "Then by all means; cram up and move out of my way." He waved his free hand in a dismissive fashion, as if to say 'shoo.' Knotting his own suddenly sweaty hands together, Kureno loped to the side, shame prompting him to keep his head lowered. Akito stooped before the television, steadying himself on the cabinet that housed both it and the VCR. They were in the central sitting area of the Main House, where most of the Sohma's residing there congregated to talk, watch the television or read. Whilst it was not exactly guaranteed to be private, Akito was primarily concerned with viewing the tape as quickly as possible and most of the servants knew better than to enter the sitting room when he was the one occupying it.

As he slid the tape halfway into the VCR slot, Akito remembered something and turned to his servant who was gazing at the back of his neck with a curious expression.

"Kureno; send the others away." He ordered, gesturing to the door with just the slightest tilt of his head. "I'd prefer to just see this alone right now before drawing them into any- what is it you are looking at?"

Kureno moved forward respectfully and tapped down the sloping collar of Akito's kimono, revealing the vivid scratching on his upper back and the purple vivid bruising of the hickey. His expression was indefinable.

"How did you get these marks...?" He asked slowly, something akin to fear on his face. Akito slapped his hand away and adjusted his robes with obvious annoyance.

"I fell in the shower." He snapped, brushing his hair behind his ear self-consciously. He could still feel Kureno's eyes on him. "The scratches... I did to myself." At least this sounded plausible. After all, who wouldn't believe that the mentally disturbed family master of a cursed household was performing self-mutilation?

Kureno's expression suggested that he did. "Is that the truth?"

Akito felt himself getting angry. He shifted around on the carpet and bared his teeth at the older man.

"I just fucking told you so, didn't I?! Now- do as I tell you and send the others away!" His chest heaved with the pressure of his outburst and he turned back to face the television, pressing a fist over his heart and taking deep steady breaths. He could feel another panic attack coming on.

Kureno realized that he had pushed too far and backed off. "Forgive me. I- I shall send the others away. Wait for me." He added before striding over to the door.

Akito curled his lip in indignation and winced at the striking pain that came from the region of his heart. Feeling suddenly dizzy, he gently lowered himself down to the floor and slightly curled his body, waiting for the sickness to pass. It was obvious, to him at least, that his anger only helped to aggravate the problem, yet that was something he had very little control over. For as long as he could remember, Akito had been an angry person. When something upset him, or made him feel bad, anger became the dominant emotion rather than that of grief or fear. At times the anger was sickening. It would nauseate him to the point that he could not eat. Or he would crack his teeth and even cause his nose to bleed. There just seemed to be no fairness in his life and each and every time he had allowed just a shred of happiness into it, something came along that crushed that patch of light like the empty shell that it was. To Akito, it felt like somebody had slit his heart open and the pain was the darkness pouring in, vanquishing what little light was left.

It made him wonder... 'Maybe I' m this way, because what Kureno said is true. Could I be so fucked up because I came to terms with death at an age when no child should even be contemplating the idea? Is my mind twisted by witnessing the deaths of my parents? The deaths... that I don't even remember?'

Akito knew that it was possible to block out violent memories, if the mind was traumatized enough by the event itself. But he never would have believed that he could forget something so... abominable. His father... the one whom he had believed to be his father, having his head blown off. Kureno said he was covered in the gore. 'The gore...' Akito thought. 'Blood... his brain... the soft, supple material of nightmares that causes the character's in horror movies to scream and scream and scream. Yet there I was... a five year old boy. Little more than a baby really. And I was covered in it.'

He heard a sound coming from himself and realized that he was laughing. He slapped a hand over his mouth to smother the hysterical giggling and found even his face was creased into a mock mask of humor. Akito could not believe how his body was responding to the horrifying thought's he had just been entertaining. He giggled at the irony of it and slapped a hand to his forehead.

"I really am crazy." He said aloud and laughed at the verification. Somewhere in between the thin lines of his laughter, his muffled guffaws were serrated by the more powerful urge to cry and he could feel his face break open, turning his chuckles into the lightest of sobs. He growled beneath it all, realizing that he was hysterical.

"Shut up." He hissed and slapped his face firmly, relief washing over him at the burning sting his hand left behind. He hit himself once more, the practice being quite familiar to him. Though Akito did not actually divulge in the act of self mutilation, such was the extent of his torment sometimes that he would surrender to the urge to rip callously at his face or even hit himself. The urge usually came from moments when he felt a profound hatred for himself or he believed his actions to be embarrassing. Akito knew that this was not normal behavior. But... when could any of the Sohma's be accused of being normal?

Having ceased his irrational giggling, Akito sat up abruptly, wincing as the sudden blood rush to his head caused it to ache. Clenching his eyes shut for a moment, he lowered his head waiting for the feeling to pass. When he looked up, he saw something that made him gasp in shock.

The television black screen affirmed that it was turned off which couldn't account for the abnormality that Akito was witnessing. He could see his own reflection sitting directly on the bottom half of the screen, eyes widened slightly and mouth agape. The reason so was that what would have been about five feet behind him, standing in the center of the sitting room, he could see three figures gazing at the back of his head. Akito dared not turn. Too many times had he seen horror films whereupon the character turned and saw nothing behind them. Then upon inspection of the source where they had first seen the reflection, it was gone completely as though never having been at all.

Instead he tried to pick as much detail from the reflection as possible. The two tallest figures were adults; one female and the other male. The female was distinguishable by her long hair. The third figure was barely half the size of the other two. It was a child, but whether or not it was male or female was difficult to discern. It's hair, from what he could see, was nape length and worn long on one side, shading half of the face. None of the figures moved; only stared at his back with the same unwavering resilience as Kureno had previously demonstrated. There was no doubt over where their attention was aimed. The two outer most figures had their heads tilted to the side, in order to view the family master with ease.

Akito felt a shiver down his spine. A strange primal hiss was seeping from his mouth, as though the fear was driving him into death. The figures did not move, but he could feel them there. Watching. Waiting.

But for what?

SCENE CHANGE

"I'm afraid he want's no one else to see it." Kureno explained to the abrupt protests of disappointment surfacing from the rest of the family. The household servants seemed content to leave it at that and went on about their business; all in opposite directions to the sitting room. However the family members seemed less then satisfied with Akito's order.

"It may be that he is simply concerned with privacy." Hatori reasoned, rubbing his chin with the arch of his thumb. "When you consider the meticulous placing of the tape beneath the floor of the family master's room, it would be sound to assume that perhaps the tape was intended alone for a master's viewing. If not Akito's alone."

"I believe that may be it." Kureno said agreeably. He would have said anything to hasten their exit.

Shigure made a noise that expressed disinterest and raked a hand through his bangs.

"It's probably for the best." He said. "Knowing our family, that tape probably has some ticked off, PMS'y bitch on it just dying to come crawling out of someone's T.V."

"You truly believe that Sadako would stand a chance against Akito?" Kureno asked scrupulously. This remark delighted Shigure and he chuckled openly.

"You never know. After all, they were cut from the same cloth!" He laughed broadly at the idea and received a disapproving glance from Hatori in return for his wit. Ayame, distracted, continued to stare at the doorway to the sitting room as though his eyes could scour whatever was beyond. Shigure noticed and grabbed a handful of his sleeve, pulling him close.

"What say we head off home then Aya? Hmm? I seem to remember promising someone a back massage, which I'm just sure he's dying to get to."

Ayame continued to stare at the doorway hypnotically. Shigure gave him a little shake to get his attention.

"Oh? Hmm?" He looked into the novelist's agitated face and smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry Shiggy. My mind was off in another place."

"Is it anywhere else?" Hatori muttered offhandedly.

"Hari!" Ayame exclaimed, offended.

"Look, could you all just GO?" Kureno asked just a little more than exasperated. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude but it is imperative that you leave as soon as possible. For your own good that is."

"I didn't mean to be a bother." Ayame insisted as he looped his arm around Shigure's slim waist. "And before you say it Hari, 'Yes I am perfectly aware of the fact that I never intend to be a bother but I am regardless.'"

"I dislike it when you approximate what I intend to say before I say it." The doctor grumbled.

Ayame ignored him. "But, the reason that I was staring at the doorway with such fervent attention before is because I got this... well, I don't know, bad feeling I guess you can say. Like somebody running their finger down my spine."

Shigure looked glum. "That's a bad feeling?"

"You know what I mean."

"Perhaps you are simply woozy from the injuries you sustained in the accident?" Kureno suggested giving a small bow of his head. He was wondering just how more subtle he would have to be about prompting them to leave. "After everything you've been through you must be tired. The best thing would be to go home, get some rest, have a nice uh- back rub. A lie down. After a hit on the head it can be quite trying standing up for long periods of time. I should know; I do it all the time."

By this point Shigure had stopped listening and was holding Ayame's face between his hands, angling his chin up and looking him over. He examined his eyes, the cut corners of his lips, the heavy bruise on his cheek and the bloodied bump adorning his cranium. To be honest, it looked like he had gone through a war zone. It was heartbreaking to see his beautiful lover like this. Like a crushed rose petal, weeping its seductive color.

"Kureno may be right Aya." He said softly, brushing his cheeks gently with his thumbs. Ayame slid his hands over Shigure's hips and buried his fingers into the curve of his back. "That lump on your head looks like a goose egg. You should lie down, get some more rest... Would you prefer to go to your place? It's closer than mine after all..."

Ayame mumbled a soft sound of protest and gently shook his head. "No... No." He insisted. "Don't want to go to my place. I want to go home. With you."

The words surprised him a little, but he knew without doubt that the way he had placed them was significant of his own thoughts. Whilst he had his own house within the Sohma grounds, it was Shigure's place that he was now comfortable with calling home. When he wasn't there, he yearned for it. For the warmth of Shigure's bed and the feeling of his arms around him all through the night. For the smell of Tohru's cooking when he awoke each morning. For the verbal war between Yuki and Kyou that erupted each day but was more often then not directed at him. Yes... just like all of them, he too found security in a place separate from the Main House and grounds. He was home, when he was with Shigure.

Softened by these words, Ayame surrendered to the temptation to give himself to Shigure's arms. Being the same height, it made it difficult to bury his face into his chest like he so longed to do but alternatively, they were able to lean their heads together and keep at eye contact. It made Ayame feel close to his dark haired lover. And he could never be too close to his Shigure.

The novelist squeezed the silver haired snake tightly around the shoulder's, wondering just how they could have been so careless whilst driving the car. Well... he supposed it wasn't that improbable, considering who they were but still... They'd never had a serious accident like this before and they'd certainly come close plenty of times. He made a mental note to write a long and wordy letter of abuse to the company who manufactured Ayame's car, berating them for not perfecting the airbag release mechanism on the driver's side.

"Okay darling." He whispered into his lover's ear and carefully stroking the crown of his head. "We'll go home. All right?"

Ayame gave a small nod and pressed his forehead to Shigure's, meeting his eyes. He was content to just fall into those brown pools and never surface, but Kureno was determined to spoil the mood by impatiently tapping his foot, with his arms crossed over his chest in the traditional 'move along' stance. Just to make him wait a little longer, Ayame spent an offensive amount of time brushing the hair from Shigure's eyes and gently kissing him on the bottom lip. Shigure seemed to catch on and humorously extended the kiss by pushing Ayame back against the wall as though he could no longer contain his passion. Hatori, unable to watch his friend's display, lit a cigarette, picked up his crutches and hobbled back towards the front door, muttering to himself about why he didn't have any normal acquaintances.

Shigure finally ended the kiss and grabbed Ayame's hand. He shot a pointed glare at Kureno.

"All right we're going. Happy now?" He snitched.

To their surprise Kureno looked anything but happy. Whilst they were perhaps expecting a seemingly escalated expression of annoyance than that of before, or maybe even disgust, what they did not expect was something akin to hurt. Kureno looked... sad. Almost like he was going to cry. Ayame quickly waved his hands in assurance.

"No... It's okay, don't be sad! He really isn't that bad a kisser!" He incorrectly assumed. Shigure batted him on top of the head.

"Kureno, what's wrong?" He asked. The rooster quickly gained control over his emotions and the usual apathetic mask sprung back into place as surely as though it were on a string. He waved a hand.

"Oh... nothing." He assured unconvincingly. "Seeing the two of you... just reminded me of something. But that's all- you know nothing important."

Ayame was prepared to continue drilling him on this point, when he was suddenly struck by that feeling again. True as he said, it was cold and insistent. Like dark hands pressing to the walls of his heart. And this time, he saw that it was not he alone that felt it. Kureno stiffened, as though suddenly becoming aware of something. He met Ayame's widened eyes.

"You felt it too..." The snake hissed. Shigure looked at them both, uncomprehending.

"Felt what?" He asked.

Ayame didn't answer. The source of the bad feeling was originating from the room that Akito was in and whilst Akito alone was enough to warrant a bad vibe, this was something even more cold and sinister then he. Without thought to the consequence, driven by the icy finger tickling his gut, Ayame pulled free of Shigure's hand and strode resolutely to the doorway, sliding it open. What he saw made his blood freeze in his veins.

Akito was kneeling, facing the television, but seemingly aware of the malevolent presence in the room. His shoulders were rigid, his swayed back was straightened as much as it could be and violent shudders raced throughout his body. Ordinarily, Ayame would just presume that this was due to the sickness, but the sight of the three semi-transparent figures hovering just beyond the family master's shoulder's was enough to convince him otherwise. Ayame shuddered and a small whimper rose in his throat. He clamped down on his lips with his teeth, trying to smother the noise but it was too late. Two of the figure's started to turn, shifting their gaze on him. The third; who appeared to be a small girl, continued to face forward, her eyes firmly planted on Akito who was plainly visible through her. Ayame thought it was a bit like viewing something through a gray sheathe.

The girl was dressed in what might have been a simple white kimono, secured around her waist by a thin waif of cord. It looked very old and worn, much too big to fit her properly. The tall figure, that of a woman, was wearing a loose fitting kimono with train, pulled over top of a tighter perhaps white kimono that was tied by a thick black cord. Ayame could not tell what color the outer garment was, being that the figures were rendered in shades of gray. The face of the woman was sad, pinched and slight, with deep dark shadows under her eyes. Almost like the makeup a rock star would paint on before a performance. Her long hair was dark and wavy in places but looked well kept. She watched Ayame with an expression he could only define as regret.

As for the male figure, his identity was impossible to date. Where his face should have been there was merely a mess of what appeared to be a milky white translucent substance, stirred into torrents as though whipped by a spoon. What might have been a mouth, twitched from the very base of this whirlpool and Ayame could feel his breaths panting grimly from his chest. He made a nose like somebody spitting, yet no saliva left his mouth. It was as dry as a wad of cotton. He could feel Kureno attempting to glance over his shoulder, but Ayame pulled the door as far shut as he was able, preventing the other two from witnessing it. As he slid it up tight against his side, the specter of the girl took a small step toward Akito and raised its arms as though to embrace him. Ayame didn't know how, but a sudden very bad feeling told him that he couldn't allow the figure to hug the family master. Akito might not approve of such friendly actions from a mysterious ghosty kimono girl. Things could get quite ugly.

Ayame acted.

With barely the realization that he was doing so, instinct took over and Ayame felt himself lunge into the room, darting from one foot to the other which allowed him to swiftly evade the central figures. They turned slowly to follow his movements. Ayame wasn't paying attention. What he could see was that the figures' did not move from the spot in which they stood. They would swivel, or turn their heads but that was it. Reassured somewhat by this, he returned his attention to the task at hand. Fueled by the sudden rush of adrenaline, he kicked off from the floor, aiming for the petite family master before the television. For a moment he flew and was able to catch a glance of the withdrawing specter's fingers as he crashed bodily into Akito, sending them both rolling into the far wall. Akito landed face first on the floor, grunting in discomfort as Ayame landed on top of him. The silver haired tailor panted in barely suppressed terror and quickly glanced around, convinced that the specters' would converge upon them at any moment. He found himself gazing at any empty room.

Later he would remember feeling proud of how capably he had managed such a physical activity without breaking or straining anything. Of course that would be after he overcame the initial shock of the whole situation.

Akito tapped the floor with his fingernails, a look of calm exasperation on his malnourished face. The half that wasn't pressed into the floorboards.

"Excuse me," he said in a polite, but sinister tone of voice. "But- what do you think you are doing?"

Ayame immediately became flustered. As he once told Tohru, he had very little to do with the estranged family master and he preferred to keep it that way. When it came to standing up to people with questionable sadistic tendencies, Ayame found that a large portion of his spine evaporated. Not to mention control of his bladder.

"Well, I was- uh..." Fortune however smiled on Ayame Sohma that second and he was rescued by the faces of Shigure and Kureno at the door. His confidence immediately escalated. "Forgive me Sir but... you did see those th-th-things, right?"

Akito sighed as though he were dealing with an extremely irritable little child. He didn't really rate Ayame much higher than this anyway.

"There was nothing there." He insisted, rolling his eyes as far sideways as he could to include the older man in his vision. Ayame spluttered a protest.

"Excuse me Sir, but-"

"Excuse you, nothing!" Akito snapped, finally loosing his temper. The very presence of the snake infuriated him, knowing about his relationship with Shigure and how in love the pair was. It didn't make any sense! Not to him anyway. How could Shigure love something so... so... impure? The man's very touch made him want to scrub his skin to the bone with a wire brush. As far as Akito was concerned, there was nothing good, nor redeemable about whores. And Ayame Sohma applied. He was everything he had been taught to hate, he went against everything he knew as being wholesome. Yet this brat, this disgusting, filthy, brazen little concubine somehow had wooed the one person Akito thought he could have fallen in love with.

It made him sick.

No... Sick was a weak word. All he felt was anger. That familiar hot seductive pull of anger tugging him into a downward spiral, like water through a plug-hole.

"Get your filth stained body off of me." Akito snarled, his fingers curling into sharp digits. When Ayame hesitated, the master grabbed him forcefully by the sleeve and tugged him with all his might. "I said get the hell off of me!!"

Ayame rolled off of Akito's erstwhile body and brushed himself off, backing away very quickly. The family master was on his feet, advancing with a look in his eye like a tiger eyeing off a very tender antelope. Only Ayame didn't feel nearly quite so nimble as an antelope.

"I know you saw it!" He babbled, trying to keep Akito from doing something rash. Namely to him. "I was trying to help you!"

"You want to help me?" Akito hissed, sounding more snake like then Ayame ever had in his zodiac form. "You really want to help me? Then here's what you can do-" In a movement so sudden it resembled a spider bite, Akito darted forward and secured Ayame by the side of the face pulling his chin up in position over his shoulder. The family master's lips rested on the crest of his ear and he whispered in a hushed tone that neither of the other two men were privy to. "I know what you just saw. And I don't know how it is that you too can see it, because this is my curse. Not yours. Now- know this. I did something for you today that was completely out of character for someone like me. The act was not selfish, nor did it benefit me in anyway. I did something to help you. But don't let it go to your head. As a person, I have never liked you. You should have learnt a long time ago your station as one who is cursed by the snake is to be subdued and humble. You are neither of these things. And you have taken from me something very, very precious." Ayame trembled at the cold husk of Akito's voice, lowering with every word he spoke. He desperately tried to catch Shigure's eye, to beg him without words for assistance. Akito grabbed a handful of Ayame's hair and yanked his face around hard. "Don't look at him!"

Akito's breathing became hard and labored as he struggled to keep his emotions under control. More than anything he simply wanted to cast the snake upon the ground and beat him into submission. To make him suffer for taking Shigure away from him. But he withheld his temper, as much as was possible. To ensure that Ayame knew how serious he was, he gave his hair another sharp tug causing him to cry out.

"Shigure!" Ayame called.

"Ayame!" Shigure cried in response. He made a move as though to leap into the room but Kureno grabbed him by the forearms and slammed him securely against the wall, preventing him from taking action. Shigure was shocked. He had no idea Kureno was that strong. The moment passed and he was struggling again, surprisingly helpless in the rooster's grip.

"Stop it. Stop it." Kureno hushed, his features pleading silently. "Don't worry. He's not going to hurt him."

"You can't be damn sure!" Shigure snapped back, giving a defiant wriggle. "He's got nothing left to lose now."

Akito was getting frustrated by the snake. He firmly yanked his hair again, then in one swift blow slapped him across the face. Shigure bellowed in shock and renewed his struggles.

"Now I only did that to make you realize just how serious I am." Akito hissed privately to Ayame, who was reduced almost to the state of tears. "Stop carrying on like that! The Honda girl had more courage then you did, and I surely intended more pain for her then I ever would you."

Ayame whimpered, both hands clutching the base of his hair to prevent the pain from Akito's harsh pulling. He felt a tear slide down his cheek.

"I'm sorry!" He whispered, forsaking his dignity for the chance that Akito would let him go. "I wasn't respectful... I know! But... but I really was trying to help you and-"

"ENOUGH!" Akito roared, pulling his face up close and screaming into it. "Do you really think I care about that?! Stupid snake!! You stupid, brainless, pathetic, waste of space! That's what you are!"

"That's what I am." Ayame agreed, sobbing and nodding his head. He would have said anything just to be free of him.

There was a silence where Akito just stared at him, at his tear-streaked face for what felt like forever. Ayame was more ashamed than he ever had been in his life. He didn't doubt that Tohru had expressed more resilience in Akito's presence then he had. Even Yuki wouldn't be reduced to... to this! This miserable, wretch that was he! He was giving in, going along... what a spineless fool he was.

Finally, something passed on Akito's face. His lips twitched upward into a cruel smile and he laughed at what he had reduced Ayame to. His eyes flickered over to Shigure as if to say 'look at this thing you are in love with.' Shigure glared back, his eyes a cold, cold fire.

Akito leant down close to whisper in Ayame's ear. "If you want to help me snake, then do this – you give thanks everyday that someone like Shigure bothers to lend you the time of day, let alone the other side of his bed. Denounce that whorish life you've lived." He glanced once more at Shigure and then lowered his voice so much that it was almost impossible to hear. "I wish I had put aside more time to educate you as well as your brother. Perhaps then, things would have turned out a little more differently. You would know your boundaries and you would have known how to have respected yourself."

"I... don't know what you... mean..." Ayame asked, seething with anger over the memory of what this bastard had done to Yuki. It drove a cold steel knife through his gut, increasing in the like as he contemplated the fact that he had simply allowed it to happen.

"I mean, that you. Are. A. Slut." Akito said spelling it out. "Do you actually believe that any of the people you slept with over the years had any respect for you? If you have no respect for yourself, how can you expect others to respect you? They just fucked you because you made it easy for them..." His voice became simpering and mock sympathetic. "Perhaps that explains why Shigure finally let you into his bed? After all, our Shigure has always know what side his bread is buttered on..."

A sudden rush of bravery made Ayame bold. He dared to raise his head and meet Akito's contemptuous eyes. "Shigure and I... we're together because... because I love him." He growled, his face contorting in such uncanny resemblance of Akito's that it was terrifying. "And because he loves me. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it, Akito."

As soon as the words had left his lips, he knew they were a mistake. But amazingly enough, Akito's reaction was not what he expected it to be. Instead of the thunder crashing melodrama he was fearing, the family master's eyes softened and his face got this sad, sort of defeated look on it. With a gentle sigh, he released his hold on Ayame's hair and stepped back.

"No." He said at even. "There's not."

Ayame straightened up and regarded the younger man carefully, as though fearing he would resume his attack at any moment. But Akito seemed incredibly weary all of a sudden and Ayame once more had to remind himself, that he was looking at a boy little older than his baby brother. Sometimes, due to the nature of Akito himself, it was easy to forget that.

"I'll be dead soon anyway, so what does it matter?" the boy murmured in his husky undertone. There was something vulnerable on his face that had never been there before. Ayame had never seen it. Shigure had seen it but once; when Tohru had told Akito that she did not regret meeting him. The young master was struggling to keep himself from crying and was barely succeeding in the effort. To hide his failed attempts, he hid his face in the long sleeve of his kimono as the first tears began to slide down his cheeks.

"Don't... listen to... someone like me tell you... not to love..." Akito said, his voice rising and falling as the struggle to hold his grief back failed. "Don't let some... stupid, hateful kid tell you what to do with your lives... because his has been nothing but a waste!"

"Akito..." Kureno started, releasing his hold on Shigure. The inu took a few steps toward Ayame but faltered as the snake waved a guiding hand at him. Instead, the tailor took a few closing steps forward and carefully put his arms around Akito, pulling him to his chest.

Akito saw what Ayame was trying to do and pushed away from him, escaping to the other side of the room. He faced the wall and raked a hand through his hair, trying to seem like he was in control. Honestly he had never felt less so.

"I don't want your meaningless pity." He said, quickly wiping at the tears that stained his florid cheeks. Ayame was not easily deterred.

"It's not pity." He insisted as Shigure came up beside him. "I just don't like to see people cry. It's not in my nature to stand by and do nothing!"

"Aya-" Shigure began, knowing he was far too late to prevent something that was already on a roll. True to that nature, Ayame pressed his fingers against the inu's mouth and gave him a look.

"Hush darling. I'm trying to console our bent and broken family master, here." He explained as though it was not perfectly obvious what he was trying to do. Akito gave him a look like he was an absolute idiot. "Now as I was saying Akito, it's perfectly okay to cry! It let's out all those nasty feelings and no one will think any less of you for it! Real men cry, don't they Shigure?"

"Oh, so now you want me to talk." The exasperated inu snitched, hands on hips. Akito shook his head, his back still facing them.

"Go home." He said at last. All the men looked at him questioningly. "Go home and... have a nice night together. Don't let what I've done here ruin anything for you."

Shigure considered for a moment, then leaned close to Ayame. "You know... that almost sounded like an apology to me."

After an exceptionally long 'nine months pregnant' pause Akito sighed and tilted his head back, hands on his hips. He seemed rather at odds with what it was that he was about to do. He cleared his throat and spoke very clearly, so as the words could not be misconstrued. "For the indignation I caused you... Ayame Sohma... I apologize."

There was an even longer silence as the three men's brains tried to process just what it was they had heard. The words themselves weren't foreign in concept, only the mouth from which they were spoken made it so much more difficult to digest. Kureno had heard them directed at him earlier that day, but was nonetheless surprised that Akito would ever lower his standards enough to apologize to the ignominious snake of the zodiac.

Shigure recovered more quickly then the other two. "Well I'll just head on outside and see if the world has ended."

Ayame had to cover up his laughter as a sudden severe asthma attack. Akito however, did not see the humor in this. He did not see humor in many things, dark as he was. His black eyes, almost seemingly in a state of berating those who looked upon them, glanced but once at Shigure and then returned to the blank wall before him. He waved a hand over his shoulder.

"Go home." He repeated. And left it at that.

Shigure could see no point in further prolonging the unnecessary visit and grabbed Ayame's hand, yanking him firmly from the room. Ayame followed, his eyes lingering on the back of Akito's head and the many questions he had to ask that needed answering. But Kureno made a point of ushering them out the door, before any more loose words could fall astray. His expression was sterner then they had ever seen it. At that very moment, he resembled a scolding parent who had just caught their child licking sugar off of the cookie. He sounded like one too.

"I told you to leave and you did not. Why could you not do as I asked you?" Kureno groaned and shook his head, palm flat against his forehead. "As it were, you are fortunate that Akito is much too weary these days to exact his frustration out in full. Were he not, I fear you may have come from this confrontation much worse. Next time, do as I say! I say it not for my benefit, but for yours! I know Akito better than the both of you do and I know his moods. You'd be wise to benefit from my knowledge as such."

"Oh relax Kureno! Nothing happened!" Shigure assured with a campy wave of his hand. "You worry too much. Aya's fine, I'm fine. It's all good! Oh, by the way, no hard feelings about you slamming me back against the wall. I'm sure you were just trying to protect me."

Kureno noted the sarcasm in his voice and chose to ignore it. They both knew that it had been Akito he meant to protect from Shigure, who would have stopped at nothing to save Ayame. Kureno could understand that and felt Shigure was perfectly justified in the action against his master. But that was just it; Akito was his master and something of a younger brother figure besides. He couldn't just stand by and watch him be hurt. Even if he was hurting others.

"Next time, heed my words and we can perhaps avoid any potential mishaps in the future." Kureno said instead. He gestured toward the hallway. "Do you wish to take a car back to your house, Shigure?"

Shigure went to affirm that it was probably a better idea but Ayame beat him to it.

"Actually," he said. "I don't mind walking. My headaches feeling a little bit better now and I think the fresh air would do me good! Or Shigure in particular, being cooped up inside so much!" He poked Shigure's belly as though to affirm this.

Kureno didn't seem convinced. "Are you sure?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck. "It's starting to get dark out. And you know what kind of weirdo's you can get prowling around the wood's late at night..."

"We won't be prowling around tonight, we'll just walk straight through!" Ayame quipped, wrapping his arms around Shigure's waist. Both men laughed. "Don't worry about us, Kureno! We'll be fine. And I'm sure Shiggy will protect me from any mean old stalker who wants to throw me in a ditch and have his horrid way with me!"

"Yeah, but who'll protect the stalker from you?" Shigure muttered off to the side. Ayame naturally heard and punched him hard in the chest.

"Well if you want to walk you'd better get going." Kureno intervened before they could start play fighting again. "The sooner the better."

"Are we really that deplorable company?" Ayame asked sadly. Kureno gave him a smile.

"No. That's not what I meant. You should leave soon while there's still light, that way you won't be tripping all over each other in the dark."

Ayame and Shigure looked at each and grinned mischievously. Kureno gave up.

"Get going. And make sure you drink plenty of fluids and get some rest Ayame. Moderate rest anyway, knowing you two." He watched them walk off together, holding hands and exchanging sweet little nothings all the way down the hallway. With the event of possession snatched from their minds by Hatori, both men were happy once more, not troubled by memories of the past. That was the privilege of so many Sohma's. To forget the things that caused you pain, to forget the things that would make you hurt or cry, or even to forget the things that once made you happy.

That was their privilege.

It had never been Kureno's.

"I envy you." He said to their departing backs. "I envy the love that you have for each other. It is a love our kind is rarely afforded. ...And when we can afford it... it is too expensive to keep. But... no one wants to be forgotten about by those they have loved. No one wants to mean... nothing."

He took a deep breath and found the air of the Sohma house suddenly too stuffy for his liking. It would have been nice to have been able to walk through the woods like Ayame and Shigure, breathing the fresh air and taking in all the sights and sounds. That would have been the privilege he most longed for. What he prayed for every night.

Kureno savored the silence for a few moments longer and finally re-entered the sitting room, unaware that when he and Akito emerged from it, everything they knew would change forever.

One of the Sohma's darkest secrets was about to be revealed.

SCENE CHANGE

Akito pushed the tape into the VCR and switched on the television. After flipping through the channels for a while he came across the one that displayed video footage and pressed the Play button. Kureno was sitting further back at the center table, back straight and fists pressed to his thighs. Akito regarded him casually.

"You may relax."

Kureno appeared confused. "I am relaxed."

The family master rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the television as the tape began playing. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest with excitement, crazy with anticipation over what this cryptic tape could have on it. Akito had the tenet that perhaps the tape had something to do with his mother. Like maybe a suicide tape she made before she died. But then again, why go to all the fuss? Why not instead write a note?

His musings were cut short by the realization that there was in fact – nothing on the tape. Nothing but rockin' static broadcasting out to Sohma audience, Current population: 2. Kureno shifted a little, resisting from breathing a sigh of relief. He instead tried to appear helpful.

"Akito. Was the tape fully rewound when you found it?" He received a nod in response. "Then try fast-forwarding it. Perhaps the footage is further along. If there is any footage at all." He added, trying to be realistic.

"Why would someone go to all the trouble of hiding a tape in a clandestine box beneath a floorboard in my room, with a feather attached to it, once in my possession, if it were blank?" Akito snapped as he fast-forwarded the tape, eyes trained with premeditation on the snow filled screen. He felt that could he not find anything, he would burst into tears. However, after only a few seconds of skipping ahead, footage appeared. Akito stopped the tape immediately and scuttled back to get a better view of what was on screen. He could barely suppress the smile threatening to swallow his face.

"Look Kureno... do you see that? Look..."

Kureno nodded precariously.

The picture that the camera had captured was dark and obviously old. The context was sort of grainy and blurry about the edges yet no date was displayed in the corner of the screen so neither could confirm it. The shot panned around a Japanese bedroom, paying particular mind to the faded oriental landscape on the door and the tree's and mountains painted on the wooden ceiling border. The room itself seemed to compliment the theme of life and living things as a whole. The camera moved to show the other side of the room, which was basically more of the same.

Kureno yawned and dabbed at his open mouth with his hand. "Any of those questions being answered yet?"

Akito had the class not to answer. His eyes remained trained on the screen, waiting for something to make sense to him. Anything. He didn't mind that the video only showed someone's decor at the moment. Maybe some people would find that sort of thing boring, but the fact that the tape itself had been found under such mysterious circumstances compensated some for that. This was interesting him. And he was sure there was better to come.

He was not wrong. When the camera was finished on one side of the room, it panned further to include a window in its view. Something clicked. It was the sound of Kureno's jaw clamping shut. But many more things clicked within Akito's mind.

Not to say that he was in possession of the only circular window in Japan, no. But the decor itself should have instantly sent the alarm bells ringing. How the room had been painted and decorated said something wholly unique about the Sohma family master's who had lived there over the years. Picture's of mountains, birds, tree's and wildlife all spelt the same horrid fact: It was to compensate for their illness that came with being the spider and the core of the zodiac curse. Because of their short lives and their inability to go outside as freely as they would have liked, the decor made up for this in some artificial, mediocre way. Akito thought it stank, but that was just him.

"Well... it should have been obvious really that the filming had been done in your room." Kureno said as he shuffled forward on his knees to sit beside Akito. "After all that's where we found it..."

The camera graced the window with one shade pushed open, revealing a three-quarter moon hanging in the inky night sky. Akito thought it looked beautiful. He'd always had an affinity for the moon. Not so much for the sun. It made him feel sicker than usual when the weather was hot.

After focusing on the moon for an unnecessary length of time, the camera continued to turn until it was focusing on the sleeping side of the room. Akito saw it zoom in on the bed and it's ruffled covers. Something shifted. The person with the camera moved closer so that the figure in the bed could be seen properly. Akito felt his breath catch in his throat. Felt the heart stop in his chest. The person in the bed wasn't asleep. A tousled head of black hair and eyes of the same color gazed out from beneath the pure white sheets at the camera, giving whomever was behind it that infamous judgmental look. Akito felt Kureno grasp at his arm and the nails dig in.

"Oh my God..." He said.

Akito just stared in shock at the twelve-year old version of himself. Stared at a memory he didn't remember living.

"What are you doing?" The young Akito asked with indignation. There came a chuckle from the individual holding the camera and he moved it even closer to the boys' face.

"Just making a little video." Came an articulate, broadly accented, yet genuinely masculine voice. "Can you smile for me, Kito-kun? That would make a nice memory."

"You're being annoying again." Twelve-year old Akito said, pushing the camera away with the tips of his fingers. Akito examined the younger version of himself with the same scrutiny just about everybody has for their pre-pubescent selves. Whilst there were obvious changes in height, body structure and build, many of the factors remained unchanged. Though still skinny, his face was softened by an obvious layer of puppy fat. Yet the eyes that gazed out from his long mop of black hair remained the same, as was to be expected, he supposed. Eyes were the one thing you could be sure never changed. The younger version of himself, (he could only assume that he was twelve in this shot,) turned away from the prying camera and covered himself with blankets. The individual with the camera, reached out and snatched the blankets back, revealing the curled body of young Akito. Young Akito did not seem happy about the disturbance.

"Oh... would you just let me sleep?" He whined and then started to laugh at something the unseen individual was doing. Akito had not a clue who it was, but it would seem that he was very fond of the person behind the camera. He couldn't remember the last anyone had made him genuinely laugh, which obviously meant something.

"On one condition, Small Hodgers – " The figure appeared much older then his younger self, which made him wonder if it was in fact, his father. He scratched that, realizing that his father had been killed when he was five and there was no way in Hell that Akito was five years old in this video. "I want you to smile for me. Just one teensy, weensy smile, that's all I'm asking!" A pause. "You're going to make me get down and beg aren't you?"

The child Akito laughed at this and sat up, leaning close to the camera lens. He made a big smile, involving plenty of teeth. "How's this?"

"Not like that! Smile nicely!" The camera guy moaned. "This is serious Kito-kun!"

"All right, all right- quit your whining already." The child Akito dropped the cheesy grin and compensated with a nice, photographic looking smile. Akito almost had a cardiac arrest. He never realized just how... well... nice he looked when he smiled. Smiling like that, even as a puppy fat ridden twelve-year-old made him seem attractive. Something he'd never even contemplated before.

"That's better!" The older guy cheered and the camera suddenly shut off into darkness. It lasted only moments long and reopened up on another pan around of the bedroom, only this time Akito could see that his younger self was fast asleep in bed. He shifted on his knees and exchanged a glance with Kureno who have a sort of helpless shrug in return.

The camera was set down on something, propped up to focus on the window framing the night sky beyond. Then, a figure moved into shot and glanced out the window but once as though assuring that no one else was eavesdropping, or looking in. Then he, (it was a he,) turned and knelt down before the camera, placing his hands gently on his thighs the exact same way Kureno did.

But it wasn't Kureno.

It was nearly impossible to discern individual feature's from the darkness and identification was a no go. Akito was convinced that he had never seen this person before in his life. But then again, he obviously had. Kureno's lips were pursed and his eyes seemed to come alive as soon as the figure moved into shot. The rooster appeared to be withholding something very much like anger or excitement. Akito however didn't notice as his eyes were on the screen, examining the stranger.

From what he had seen, he was tall, more so than the typical Japanese man. At a random guess he would have said around two meters (six feet.) The light from the moon outside revealed the shaggy proportions of his hair, long and hanging about his face with bangs on each far side that framed his jawbones and reached down to the chin on one side, and beneath the eye on the other. And as for the eyes... whilst no other features of the face could be made out the eyes were easily distinguished, owing to the fact that they were blood red, without pupil and seemed to glow in the darkness. Such an oddity would have surely frightened him in any other circumstance, but for some reason Akito felt no fear. Perhaps it was because part of him deep down remembered this person, whoever it may be, and found comfort in this foreign shielded familiarity. Or maybe it was because of the body posture, reminding him of much of Kureno. Whatever the case, Akito felt quite relaxed. Kureno on the other hand had gone even more rigid then usual.

"Hey there Akito." The red-eyed one said. Akito jumped a little, surprised at being directly addressed. He tried to place the accent evident in the man's voice but it was an unclear definitive mixture between the individuals original place of origin and the acquired slant of the Japanese language. "...well... I suppose there's no point in telling you my name. It would have little meaning to you now and if there's anything that I want to convey in this video message, it would be meaning. The truth is... is that you actually already know who I am – even if you do not remember that right now. So – let's bypass the name and move on.

Obviously by now you have found the box – and since you are sitting there watching me flap my gums, it means also that your memories of me are gone. ... And so am I... I suppose." For a moment it seemed as though his emotions would get the better of him. His brilliant red eyes were dulled by the slim streamline of tears, tracing his lower eyelid. With a mumbled apology, he quickly wiped them away and returned his attention to the camera, the bright glow of his eyes further enhanced by the wet sheen upon them. "What I can be grateful for, is that you won't feel the pain that I feel right now. You won't need to hurt for somebody who doesn't even exist." He laughed bitterly at this. "And if you did remember me, I'm sure you'd agree that my absence is regretful to say the least. To put it in more appropriate terms: It fucking bites." He might have smiled then. There was certainly a chuckle in his words. "It feels so weird to be talking to you like this. After all, you're just lying there asleep in the bed behind me. See?... I... can't help by wonder how old you are now. You must be very beautiful, like your mother."

Akito felt his cheeks burn and scoffed as though the notion was outrageous. The red-eyed one rubbed at the dark area where his chin would be, as though carefully considering how to appropriately phrase his next sentence.

"The reason I'm making this tape is because something has happened and because of this – I'm not allowed to stay with you anymore. And I can't stand the thought of leaving without giving you something to remember me by." He made an uncomfortable noise and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I'm really not very good at this melodramatic shit... If I were to say the words I'd meant to say, they wouldn't be true. It's not how I feel here, right now." He rapped his chest with his hand, right over where his heart would be. "It's how I felt before I was faced with the severity of what has to happen to me." The red-eyed one's head lowered and Akito could see the genuine fear radiating from this poor- well he wasn't even really a man, he barely looked Akito's current age. Whatever the case, the boy/man be it what it was, was clearly struggling to hide something that terrified him. "I cannot lie. I cannot lie and make a big joke out of this like I normally would."

At this, his emotions took over and he began to cry angry, bitter tears. His voice grew from gentle and nurturing, to fully encompass the fear he was feeling. His thick accent almost rendered the following words incomprehensible as his pronunciation began to slur with the collapse of his articulation. "I'm not ready to leave the place I call home! I'm not ready to leave the people I call family! When I think about what's going to happen to me... I'm afraid. I try to be strong but the truth is ... is that I'm so scared. Scared like that child who awakens from a nightmare and calls out to their parents. Only there is no one who can save me from my nightmare. I can't see what's beyond tomorrow and I fear even looking that far ahead. It's as though I see nothing beyond what I already have here. ... I don't want that sun to rise. I want tonight. I want here and now to remain forever, so that I can stay too. ... I'm afraid..." It took a while for him to overcome his emotions, but eventually he won out and with a long suffering sigh, returned his eyes to the camera. "I seem to be twisting this whole thing into nothing but circles. I should try to explain.

You don't remember, but I used to work at the Main House. I suppose you could say that I was your personal guardian after your Mama passed away. Kureno and I both."

Akito shot an accusing glance at Kureno who looked just as confused as he did. The red-eyed one continued and Akito put his questions on hold for the time being.

"The lifetime that the three of us shared, the memories we made together, on the many paths we trod – by tomorrow and well by the time you are seeing this – all that we had together, will be gone. No one will remember a thing about me. The elders will see to that." Judging from the astringency in his voice, Akito figured that his mystery man was more then a little sore at the Family Elders. He could relate. "But... I've never been one to follow the rules and thus, I made this tape. So that some part of me could remain behind, even if your memories of me could not.

But whilst I feel sympathy for myself, my greatest regret is that I will not be there to see you grow up. To see your features start to take shape, for your legs to grow long, for your eyes to develop that adult understanding. That is what I want to see, more than anything. And because of my stupidity – I have extinguished all my hopes of ever having a chance to do so.

There was so much I planned to help you through and to see you achieve. I wanted an education for you, more so than the one that the Family Elder's could have provided. Just the image of you going on to University, excelling at something and being able to stand there and say 'I did it' with that diploma in your hand and that beautiful smile on your face. But... ultimately education is not the most important thing I wish for you, my darling. Even were you to never pay attention to the words and lectures of your teachers and spend all your time daydreaming, my pride in you would never waver. For you, may you come to see the importance in loving your family and friends because they will be there to help you, as long as your hand is forever extended to help them. As I wont be there to guide you, put your faith in those that surround you, for they will run to your side when you fall and that, my dear, is a guarantee. As long as you have love, there are no limits to the sacrifices that those you love will make for you. Take it from someone who knows.

I don't expect you to be perfect, Kito-kun. I expect you to fall down, make mistakes, screw up. That is what being young is all about after all. Living, learning and discerning by going down the wrong road every once in a while. I certainly did. And that is how we learn the balance of opposites after all, by tasting the light and the darkness. Take big spoonfuls from each, but learn to enjoy the taste of happiness more than that of despair. Because there is nothing more that I want for you than happiness, Kito-Kun. Nothing more in the entire world.

As for your beliefs... I never placed much stock in religion myself. I did not pray, nor pay reverence to any deity you care to name. I probably took God's name in vain more then I ever took it in prayer and avoided giving gratitude to the Buddha for my meals, which should give you some indication of my avoidance! And in so saying, it would be nice if you did not follow in my footsteps in this particular circumstance. Because if you do so, you may become as cynical as I have and I don't want you to laugh at anything that gives other people hope. I want you to hope and believe in whatever the Hell it is you want to believe in. As long as it makes you feel safe in your heart when all other lights go out and you would otherwise feel afraid. I insist... no, no I demand Akito Sohma- that you give credence to the belief in something, whether it be a God or something else entirely. Do this, and I will be able to smile wherever I might be.

As for that touchy subject of 'lurve' itself, well! Love, in its multitude of forms and flavors... Hear me when I tell you Akito, that love is the ultimate and final liberator. It knows not how to be selfish, nor the limits of forgiveness. Love knows mercy, kindness and the passion that can make your stomach hurt and your toes curl when you think of it. Love gives no thought to the passing of time nor the necessity of being right. Love hurts, love can break us and divide us. But love can heal whatever wounds that time cannot and it will be there to carry you when your own body fails you. It will keep you warm at night. Love... Love is what I spent every, single day of my life, here in this house – giving to you, my darling. And if you are able to love someone, if only a fraction of how I love, then nothing is in vain. If ever you are to love Akito – let it ravage your body until you can barely breathe. Love until your eyelashes flutter and your heart damn near dances from the throes of your chest. Give yourself to it, until you can scarcely stand it. Love can give you everything you ever imagined. All else is expendable. All but love.

So don't ever turn your back on it, divert your eyes or pretend not to see it. Don't run away from love or from whoever decides to love you. I want you to be loved, so that you know that someone is loving you no matter what. And on that note, remember that you must not, by any circumstance, rely on the love of anyone else to make you feel alive or to give you a reason to live. In the absence of love – even the love of yourself, you just remember – that I will love you always. If you can remember that, then you don't need to remember me. Remember love and love will keep you safe." And with that, the red-eyed man kissed the tips of his fingers and pressed them to the lens of the camera. His other hand rested on top of it as his eyes bore into the boy whom he had been trying to reach. "Always."

The tape ended.

Static exploded onto the screen and Akito jerked forward, slamming his finger down on the stop button. The white snow was swallowed by blackness and in the new silence, Kureno could now hear the heavy abrupt breaths, tearing from Akito's body. Dutifully, he moved forward and placed a hand on his waist, almost encircling his thin hips completely with his palm and fingers.

"Akito... are you all right?" He queried. The sudden low laughter that emitted from his master was enough to cause Kureno's stoic face to express surprise. He reassessed Akito's state carefully, wondering whether or not he should run for that paper bag. "Akito...?"

"Did you... hear him?" Akito giggled, shaking his head in mirth and sending his long straight bangs into a flurry. "He said he... he said that he loved me! Me!" This apparently was quite amusing to Akito and he wrapped one arm around his mid-section, as though it hurt to laugh so hard. His chuckles were breathy and soft, but would have torn from him more loudly had he the strength. There were actually tears in his eyes. "There was someone here who actually... loved me! Ha, ha, ha... have you ever heard of something more ridiculous in your life?! Ha, ha, ha!!"

Kureno grinned uncertainly and made a mental note to request stronger medication for his master.

"Loved me... someone was here once that loved me! Ha, ha, ha, ha-" Akito's crazed giggles suddenly escalated into benign fury and before Kureno could truly comprehend what was happening, the petite master had him by the front of his sweater and was throwing him backwards onto the floor, screaming into his confused face. "WELL IF HE LOVED ME SO MUCH, THEN WHERE THE HELL IS HE NOW?! WHERE IS HE KURENO!? WHERE IS HE?!"

White hot stars exploded before Kureno's eyes as the back of his head slammed against the hardwood floor. He whimpered and silently contemplated just why it was that he couldn't go for one day without getting injured in this household. Oh... that's right; he worked for Akito.

Fighting against the pain throbbing wave after wave through his cranium, Kureno pulled his face into a suitable confused expression, eyes wide with shock and uncertainty.

"Akito, believe me! I have no more of an idea who this joker is than you do!"

It was perhaps an unfortunate phrasing of words that caused Akito's anger to escalate two-fold in a matter of seconds. He lifted Kureno upwards by the fabric of his sweater as far as he was able and then drove him downwards, thumping his head cruelly against the floor. A screeching sound came from Akito's mouth; it was his canine's rubbing along one another as he clenched his teeth in fury.

"Silence!" He snapped, tightening his fists against the sweater fabric so hard it was a wonder his fingernails didn't puncture his palms. For some reason, Akito felt particularly defensive of the stranger he had seen on the videotape. Most probably for the way his younger self had reacted to him and the beautiful words he had spoken. The love for him, so clearly evident in that thick accent and crimson eyes. "Did you even hear what that man said, Kureno?! Were you listening?! He loved me Kureno. He loved me. Do you have any idea how long I have waited to hear someone say those words? Do you?!" He took a deep calming breath and tried to get a handle on his emotions. After the passing of a minute, he was serene enough to allow Kureno free of his hold and Akito staggered to his feet, pacing restlessly. Without the assistance of his cane he swayed as he moved, but he paid little heed to that. His thoughts were on the red-eyed one.

"The robed stranger spoke of a goodbye seven years in waiting..." He murmured to himself as Kureno straightened the creased front of his sweater. "I've forgotten some very important things Kureno. And I would like for you to talk. I would like that very much. What memories do you have of seven years prior?"

"The very same memories that I have always had, with nothing else coming to mind by this tape." The rooster grumbled, hefting himself heavily to his feet. Reaching behind him he used the back of his hand to brush free some attentive dust bunnies. "I... truly do not know what to tell you Akito. For I have never seen this man before in my life."

"Help me figure this out." The master implored, clenching his fists with renewed determination. "What do we know? We know that this man was here; proof made by my younger self's interaction with him. We also know that we have no memory of his being here as he made such a fastidious deal of the fact that we would forget..." He paused and made a peaked temple shape with his fingers, bobbing it slightly up and down whilst he procrastinated on something. "Be that as it may... perhaps Hatori is the one to ask."

Kureno crossed his arms over behind his back and rocked forward on his heels. "The fellow on the tape made it clear that everyone who ever knew him would relinquish their memories of him, once he was gone. It is just as likely that Hatori is able to erase his own memories as easily as he able to erase others. As such, the Family Elder's, who appear to have ordained this entire cover up, may have ordered the erasing of the individuals our red-eyed friend came into contact with, possibly including Hatori himself. Most likely, Hatori erased the memories of the individual from the family members minds and the memories from his own mind, including the memory of erasing the rest of the families memories and the purpose for doing so." He blinked, wondering if this had made sense. Akito nodded thoughtfully, though he hadn't actually cottoned on to half of what Kureno said.

"There is no point in going to Hatori then..." He snapped his finger's. "The Family Elder's. He said that they were the ones who were going to ensure that he was forgotten."

"Their memories have most likely been erased too." Kureno said sensibly. But he gave a little bow. "However, I can see how much this means to you, sir. If you like, I shall go and see them immediately, and inquire into the nature of this affair. If luck smiles on us, perhaps they will be able to give us answers."

Akito nodded. "Yes. Do that Kureno. I'm going to watch the tape again and try to pick up on anything that I may have missed the first time. And bring my cane to me when you return."

Kureno gave a nod of affirmation and stepped out into the hallway, sliding the door shut behind him. Akito knelt down and pressed the rewind button on the VCR, eager to hear the poetic words of the red-eyed one all over again. He was convinced that this was exactly what the robed figure had meant – about being loved by one before. And if the robed one had indeed spoken the truth it also meant that the boy on the tape would be able to find his way home again.

How Akito did not know. But he planned to be prepared.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - K - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Family Elder's had gathered together in the meeting room overlooking the garden's of the Main House. By now all were aware of the discovery made by Akito and were anxiously awaiting news of its secrets. The mood was somber and irascible. Hushed conversations were breaking out in the handfuls of the elder's prepared to rise above the constricting essence of dark foreshadowing. After the previous disturbance with the snake's possession, and the declaration Sho had spread about the household, everyone was on edge. All had a predictable idea what to expect when their informant finally returned.

The tense mood of the company was mercifully brought to a close as Kureno entered the room and made his deferential way over to Arata. She waited courteously with hands folded before her waist; Nobu and Sho framing either side of her in the exact mirrored stance. Their expressions were identical. That reluctant look of knowing the answer to a question they dreaded asking.

"Pay heed to Susumu." Arata called to the elder's. One by one, they turned and dipped their heads in perfect unison to the Elder of the servants. Kureno bowed back and turned his attention back to the elected spokesperson of the gathering. Arata's face was despairing.

"Is it as we fear?" She asked, wary of the answer.

Kureno nodded abruptly causing Sho to wail out loud. She fell away from her official stance and Kiyoko, one of two elder's responsible for the teaching of Marriage and Sexual relations, was forced to hold her up, less she faint. Arata held a hand to her chest to express her alarm.

Kureno looked at the gathering of elder's with an expression as if to say 'I told you so.' "It was the bane." Several gasps strung through the room at the mention of the cursed title. One of the elder's shrieked pleadingly at Kureno not to say its' name. "I don't intent to bring its' name into our presence. But hear me now, all of you: It was he. It deceived you all and left behind a tape in which it addressed the master. And now the master seeks it out. He seeks it out with the very same determination with which you drove it out!"

"Do not exclude yourself from the Elder's as a whole, Susumu." Nobu said grimly, his eye shining with the cataract focusing on him. "You also assisted in that task. Do not seek to forget that as the others have."

A primordial anger seethed beneath Kureno's ribcage, but he ignored it and continued to speak of the tape's message, trying to distance himself from the act of which they were speaking. "Sho herself spoke of the mark's on the Master's body. The marks are the touch of the bane, the stigmata of a past which you have tried to drown in your self righteous justification!" A siren of protests began to wail at the shattering implication of his words but Kureno stood tall, determined to be heard. "In so saying... I do not excuse my part in this, and I have seen those marks on the master and I have heard the word of the Inaudible whom you never allowed to speak in freedom! Having been witness to all the memories in which others were forced to forget, I Susumu concur to the words of Sho, Elder of rituals and etiquette – the bane is upon us! And its' eyes are set on Sohma house." His voice dropped to a very low nuance, revealing his own fear. "It's coming back for us... and it's coming back... for him."

Note: Well folks' that's part one of Chpt 8. 2nd half coming soon. Oh, and don't forget: Akito isn't a girl. It's very important that you all remember this.