Hello! Here's a double post of two shots to say thanks for all the reviews, Jen, T.I.G., CynthiaB and beachtree.
As for the formatting - I like leaving lines between thoughts and stuff for some reason, however won't let me so I have to put >'s in, so that's why they're there!

Thanks for all the comments, they've spurred me into action with my new song-fic! Keep them up!

Panz x


Old Ghosts

Afraid

What is there to be afraid of?

She's a woman in her forties who's spent the last twenty years on the run. She has no family, no friends, no one to turn to

but Sandy. (So you should be more compassionate Kirsten)

Because that's what people do, they turn to Sandy for help and Sandy saves them.

>

Having Sandy, that's what I'm afraid of.

Does she have his love?

She's only his first love, the proper Jewish girl that he was engaged to.

That he was meant to marry.

Before she blew up the facility and disappeared without a trace.

Before he met me.

Kirsten Nichol, the complete antithesis to Rebecca Bloom.

Blonde/Brunette

Christian/Jewish

Rich/Poor

Tanned/Pale

West/East

Both tied to the same man.

>

But I have ties of marriage, of love, hers are…old love, twenty years of dreams.

He married me.

He chose me.

He. Loves. Me.

So why am I thinking this? I can't help it.

Was I the second best?

His second choice?

Did he only marry me because Rebecca wasn't there? She was gone.

She his law professor and mentor's daughter, he her father's favourite student; a match made in heaven, or whatever is the

Jewish equivalent. (I'm rambling, the Cohen family trait, Seth and Sandy have a lot to answer for!)

>

In his moments of bitterness at Newport does his mind wander to her?

How often does he think how different his life could have been?

Does it hit him every morning, what if…?

I hope not, without Sandy I wouldn't be Kirsten Cohen, there would be no Seth, no Ryan, Sandy makes my world,

completes it, Rebecca could shatter it.