By Leanne Ashley
Quick summary: (AU) SeeD battles Ultimecia & her followers. When a prophecy foretells the coming of a savior (Sorceress Rinoa) SeeD, led by Squall, is ordered to protect her from Galbadia's assassins as she journeys to defeat Ultimecia. Squall/Rinoa
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Chapter 15: Selling What I Breathe
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"You know, it really does smell worse than your room."
Zell laughed and shrugged off the half-hearted comment as he continued to pick the lock on the metal sewer gate. With a soft, satisfying click, the rusty door swung open. Pleased with his work, Zell dusted his hands and stood off to the side. "Ladies first," he said with a gesture. Quistis rolled her eyes with a smirk and proceeded through to the next corridor.
"Any signal yet?" she asked.
Zell picked up his radio and tapped the small device impatiently. "Nothing yet… Squall's little temper tantrum really blew out the circuit."
"It might be cause we're underground," Quistis pointed out as she eyed the steel surface above them.
After being told to split up, Quistis and Zell had ran straight for the gateway tower where an unguarded sewer entrance was located.
"Hey, Quistis?"
"Mmm?"
"All that stuff that Squall said the other day… what do you think about that?"
She hesitated.
"Cause y'know," Zell continued with a tint of embarrassment, "we all kinda went quiet after he told us how he felt about Rinoa. I'm just wondering if everyone was thinking what I was thinking…" He jammed his hands into his pockets. "…is all."
"Hard to say…" Quistis began slowly. "You know how Squall is."
"Of course! He's the strictest, cold-hearted son-of-a-bitch, you'll ever—"
"Yes, that is the standard definition," Quistis interrupted quickly. "But once his mind is focused on something it's hard to tare him away."
"Just like that time before…"
Quistis stopped abruptly and turned to Zell. "What time before…?"
"You know what I mean. There was that time before when…" he paused to scratch the base of his neck. "Hah… actually now I can't remember. Wait, let me think…"
She tapped her foot impatiently. "Well?"
"Don't know where that came from to be honest… The whole GF thing is screwing with my memories."
"Are you trying to remember something from the orphanage?"
His eyes immediately lightened. "Yeah, man! That's what I was talking about! Wow… it's just the way you described Squall… it kinda reminded me of something that happened."
"But you have no idea what?"
"Not a clue."
Quistis wrinkled her nose as she walked across a fallen ladder that served as a bridge over the lake of sewage. "It's quite strange…" she began as she focused her attention on maintaining her balance, "Squall was able to remember a time as insignificant as Seifer throwing a book out a window."
"Why's that strange?" Zell asked as he followed her across the ladder.
"It seems like the rest of us only remember the major things. Like—" Her heels clicked loudly as she jumped from the ladder to the other side of the walk. "—I remember when I left the orphanage. I remember the day Irvine was adopted. But either than that…" She trailed off and shook her head.
"Yeah, it was kinda weird how Squall just blurted it out," agreed Zell. "Hey, wait!"
"What is it?"
"Squall's junctioned to Shiva, right? But Shiva's become dormant ever since she helped revive Rinoa!"
She stepped back and widened her eyes. "He's got one less GF… Of course! His memory may be rebuilding itself!"
"Dude, we gotta tell him!"
"First thing's first," she said as she lead the way down yet another corridor. "We have to find a way out of here before we find the others."
"See how all the pipes are coming together?" Zell said as he pointed above them. "We're getting closer to the sewage treatment tower. We must be under the outskirts of Deling by now."
"Know-it-all-Zell to the rescue," Quistis chuckled. "Go ahead and check that manhole then."
Zell gave her a sarcastic salute as he climbed up the latter and cautiously lifted the lid. "Whoa!!" he exclaimed loudly.
"What? What is it?"
"I think we found the parking lot!"
"What's so exciting about that?"
"Oh," he said as he threw down a grin. "You'll see."
It was an intriguing new addiction. Having been too busy for women all his life, Squall never thought he was missing out on much.
But this… THIS, was something else.
Kissing Rinoa was like an euphoric high he thought never existed. The sweetness of her lips, the softness of her skin… she felt so fragile in his arms he fought the urge to press her closer.
Eventually, a part of himself was able to break through. His thoughts were demanding him to regain his focus. To think clearly. To ask him just what the hell he thought he was doing. Squall reluctantly broke away. Their lips still lingered close as they now stood staring into eachothers' eyes.
Rinoa smiled at him softly. Of course, she had realized it too.
Sliding her hand from his arm to the base of his neck, she gently eased him back. "Squall…" she began in a whisper. "Why'd you have to do that…"
It wasn't really a question.
Embarrassed, he backed a few steps away from her. "Sorry," he apologized. "I probably shouldn't have—"
"No, it's... okay." she assured. "But I was afraid of… Squall, you shouldn't have to care so much about me."
"Don't tell me that." he muttered.
"Squall…"
"I need you to hear me out," he said placing a hand to her cheek. His intense blue eyes transfixed to hers. "Stay close to me. I'm not going to let anyone or anything hurt you. That includes Ultimecia."
Rinoa's mouth opened with surprise, but no sound came out. Squall took it as an initiative to keep speaking.
"I'll do it. I'll fight her. We'll go to the Gates of Time and I'll fight Ultimecia."
"What are you saying…?" she asked in baffled whisper.
"I'm saying stop this goddamn mission."
"But—"
"You said so yourself. You don't even know why you're doing this anymore, right?"
His tone was becoming somewhat sharp. Growing unfazed, Rinoa stared him hard in the eyes. "It's… my responsibility."
"Yeah, and you're MY responsibility," Squall pointed out.
An amused, yet slightly insulted smile crept to her lips. "Is that all?"
He dropped his hands to his sides. Being severely forward was the only method he knew of to get the message across, but this was different. He took a deep breath and softened his voice. "No. You're more than that to me. I'm just sorry it took this long for me to realize it."
Rinoa lifted a graceful hand to this face and brushed the bangs from his eyes. Everything seemed so clear now. Any doubts she had about her motives were gone. Any questions she had about her purpose were answered. Now she had a reason. Now she could put a face to the future she was fighting for. She would do it for him.
"You mean a lot to me too, Squall," she told him softly. "...thank you for that."
Thank you…? He furrowed his brow questionably at her. But before he could speak, a dull hint of static began to emit from his radio.
Simultaneously, they both awkwardly looked away from each other as Squall turned on the radio from his pocket.
"Yeah?"
"Yo, Squall!" blared Zell's overly enthused voice. "Hey, it's working!"
"Zell? Where are you?"
"Hah! Dude, you'll never guess what I found and—Hey! Easy—!" A slight shuffling was heard followed by Selphie's cheerful, albeit slightly angry voice. "You didn't find anything! Irvy and me were here first, you moron! Hey Squall, it's Selphie! Is Rinoa with you?"
Rinoa happily walked up to Squall's side. "I'm here!"
"Woo! Rinoa, I'm glad you're safe! Listen you guys, we got the Ragnarok!"
Squall raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "The fighter plane? How'd you manage that?"
"After we all split up," came Irvine's voice suddenly, "Selphie and me found ourselves in the outskirts …which just so happens to be the Galbadian army's parking lot."
"How'd you find Zell?"
"He found us. Quistis too! We just need you guys and we'll be outta here in style!"
"Nobody's out there?"
"Nah, man!" Zell exclaimed confidently. "No one's looking for us out here; they're all in the city. You guys get out as quickly as you can and we'll have this thing fired up and ready to go!"
"Okay," Squall agreed. "Be ready. This isn't going to be easy."
He clicked off the transmitter and turned to Rinoa. "Shall we?"
She nodded and followed him as he led the way to the back of the garage. The keys had been left in the ignition of a yellow, Galbadian motorbike. As he got on, he noted the white dress that Rinoa was wearing.
"Are… you going to be okay in that?" Squall asked disdainfully.
She wrinkled her nose at the dress. "I'll manage." While pulling the train to one side, Rinoa climbed awkwardly onto the space behind him. "Although if we could swing by the shopping center on our way out…" she joked.
Squall smiled slightly and slammed his fist against a red button on the wall. The large garage door immediately began to slide open as he revved the motorbike with anticipation. He couldn't help but smile when he felt Rinoa wrap her arms around his waist. "Hold on tight," he instructed to her. "This is going to get a bit rough."
Fearfully, she buried her face against his back. "Tell me when it's over…"
"You're gonna drive this thing, Selphie!?" Zell exclaimed with some skepticism.
"Natch!" she said as she jumped into the pilot's chair. "I did the whole training course for it."
"Yeah, but you're a chick!"
"And you're a dumbass. Who would you rather have flying this thing?"
Zell opened his mouth to speak but Quistis promptly smacked him in the back of the head. "Don't be foolish."
The Ragnarok hummed to life as Selphie flipped on the switches and began typing on the ship's control panel. "First," she explained. "I'm going to hack the ship's identification tracker so Galbadia can't get a signal on us."
Irvine hugged her quickly from behind. "Selphie's just amazing!" he proclaimed.
She giggled. "Yeah, I'm a package… Hey! Do you guys hear that?"
They all froze. Surely enough, several engines were heard roaring in the distance. Over a hundred Galbadian motorcycles and cars were seen rampaging in their direction. All were in hot pursuit of one yellow motorcycle that seemed to be leading the way.
"There they are!" Zell exclaimed. "C'mon, Selph! Open the hatch and get this plane started!"
She nodded quickly. "Roger!"
After Selphie fiddled with some of the switches, they could feel the slight vibration under their feet as the platform began to lower.
Meanwhile, Squall maneuvered the bike as best he could around the other vehicles to avoid the onslaught of machine fire. Escaping the city had been a real hoot. Any gunfire attempts were only made when in their direct pathway so Squall could be hit. As luck would have it, the Galbadian soldiers were still under strict orders not to harm the sorceress.
Just ahead, the Ragnarok began to move. Sparks began to ignite as the steel platform scraped against the cement. With professional ease, Squall slowed the bike down just enough to skid onto the platform as the Ragnarok took flight.
Once the platform had been raised to the main deck, Squall and Rinoa were quickly greeted by Zell, Quistis and Irvine.
"Yeah, baby!" Zell exclaimed. "Squall, that was awesome!"
Irvine gave Squall the usual slap on the back. "We got Rinoa back, a free plane, and a free bike, all in one day. Things are lookin' up!"
"No more travelling on foot that's for sure!" Zell added.
"And no more listening to you complain about it either!" Quistis laughed.
As the three chattered on, Squall could only glance at Rinoa silently. He had yet to get a straight answer from her regarding the mission. And now, as she stood smiling softly at the others, something about her eyes seemed bound and determined to reluctantly break the mood. He would find out her answer soon enough.
"Umm…" she began slowly.
They all turned to face her.
"There are only three days left even though the Ragnarok pretty much buys us time…" She paused to glance regretfully at Squall before continuing. "…I need to continue on with the mission first thing tomorrow."
Quistis, Irvine and Zell exchanged worried glances and then stole a glimpse at Squall. He seemed to shrug it off as he leaned emotionlessly against one of the metal pillars.
The silence grew less than tolerable. Quistis was the first to speak. "Of course, Rinoa… We're here for you."
"Every step of the way," added Irvine.
As the moonlight filtered through the glass casing of the Ragnarok passenger room, Squall sat arms crossed, and unwaveringly sleepless. He could only lean back and watch the night sky through the viewing window as the hours passed by.
The Ragnarok had been parked in the desert, far from any civilization. It was one of their last chances to get a good night sleep. The idea was nice. But unfortunately for Squall, insomnia was a battle he wouldn't win so easily this time.
His thoughts were rebelling against him mercilessly. Each worry, temptation and doubt was running continuously through his head like a cynical wheel of torment. And it all came boiling down to one mockingly hideous question:
How am I suppose to let her do this?
Slamming his eyes shut, he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. I seemed okay with it before… what the hell was wrong with me? Maybe I could've convinced her then… I know I can't stop her from doing this but… Even so, I'm…
He couldn't help but snicker at himself. "What are you going to do now…" he whispered scornfully.
I sure have changed.
Maybe there really is nothing I can do.
I wonder what everyone's thinking now…?
"Squall?"
Rinoa appeared in the aisle and walked almost cautiously down to his seat.
"Hey…" he acknowledged dully.
The moonlight seemed to make her glow as she took the seat next to him.
I guess there isn't too much I can say to her now…She'll only tell me she has to do what she has to do…
"Listen, Squall…" she began hesitantly.
"Can I be honest with you?" Squall interrupted.
Rinoa blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected him to say anything at all. "Of course you can…"
His eyes wouldn't meet hers as he began almost casually like an everyday conversation. "To tell you the truth... I worry too much about what others think. I hate that side of me..." he said as he stared straight ahead at the moon. "That's why I didn't want anyone to get to know me. I wanted to hide that side of myself. I hate it. Squall is an unfriendly, introverted guy. It made it easy for me when people perceived me that way." He sighed, almost in relief as if a great deal had been lifted from his chest. "That's a secret between you and me. Got that?"
She smiled warmly at him and nodded. "I got it."
Squall turned to look at her briefly; an unreadable expression upon his face. Without a word, he shifted in his chair to lean back easier. Now, he would actually try to get some sleep.
Rinoa placed arm over his shoulder and guided him gently to lean against her. Confused by her actions, he was at a loss of words on how to react. Throughout his whole life, he had never let anyone get close enough to comfort him in such a way... even in its most miniscule of measurments. The feeling was odd. Unfamiliar. But he couldn't help but give in. Much to Squall's surprise, there were no feelings of discomfort or awkwardness as he rested his head against her chest. Without thinking, he wrapped an arm around her and could feel himself falling asleep to the gentle rhythm of her heartbeat.
How serene a loving a gesture could feel.
As she ran her fingers through his hair, she began humming softly to herself. A soft, simple tune. The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was a slight tinge of confusing familiarity.
That song… where have I heard that before?
"So let me come to you… Close as I wanna be… Close enough for me to feel your heart beating fast… and stay there as I whisper. How I loved your peaceful eyes on me…"
"Hey, where'd you learn that song?"
"My mommy used to sing it to me."
"So, where is she now?"
"Heaven."
"Oh…"
"It's okay. Cuz' I got to meet you!"
"Do you like me or something?"
"Of course I do, Squall! Nobody else takes care of me like you do!"
"Don't be weird, Ri—"
Squall's eyes shot open. It was still dark. Rinoa was sleeping with him still against her. He was breathing hard as he began to feel the cold beads of sweat drench his forehead. His dream… that memory… that one important fragment in time, though in its smallest measurement, was flooding back like a tidal wave.
All the while it repeated through his head. That foggy conversation. He was speaking with a girl. Not Quistis or Selphie. Another girl… But… hadn't it always just been Quistis and Selphie?
No. There had been someone else there. If not at the orphanage, than just that day. No face, no other memory was recollected. Just her name. That name circulated through his head like a chaotic whirlwind. Faster and faster. His other senses burned as if not knowing what to do with such an out of place, fragmented thought. It didn't belong anywhere. But it was just that name…
"Rin." Squall whispered incoherently
Who's… Rin…?
In the midst of his confusion, he didn't notice that Rinoa had awakened from the sound of his barely audible outburst. She stared hard at nothingness and slowly pulled away to look at him.
"How do you know that name?"
Authors note: Well, that took much longer than usual P bleh. I wouldn't be surprised if ppl didn't even remember what it is my story's about. But anyway, it's summer, my final exams are all done, so I'll be much much MUCH better with getting chapters in (at LEAST once a week) I've been expanding this story so much in my head these past couple days I've just gotta get it out. Hmmm... wondering about the whole "Rin" thing? haha now that's the one thing I won't explan for now (Please let me know if you think Squall's getting too "mushy" from here on...I like keeping his character angsty)
